*OLD* - Green Day to play free gig!

[Guest Shangri-La]

Shit, I don't have a crazy green day story. But I did grab Roecker's balls at the HLAHG premiere. Is that crazy enough?

Also, I'm not in LA right now. What if (and that's a big if) I get chosen for an interview and I can't be there? Should I try skype?

eh, wait for them to inform you of what to do first? the interview is probably over email.

[MusicalDeviant]

omg I did it. I'm nervous now (ga)

I am proud to say I witnessed that.

Great, I have a witness if necessary. Do you think I should use it?

[Hanner]

eh, wait for them to inform you of what to do first? the interview is probably over email.

true true. i highly doubt i get picked tho hah. idk even know if i really want to. unless it gets me closer to the band of course

[Guest Shangri-La]

Great, I have a witness if necessary. Do you think I should use it?

that doesn't involve green day though. just make up something random!

i still have nooo idea what to say..

[MusicalDeviant]

true true. i highly doubt i get picked tho hah. idk even know if i really want to. unless it gets me closer to the band of course

All I want to do is be close to the band.

And by close, I mean on my knees in front of each one of them, giving them as much pleasure as they've given me over the years

that doesn't involve green day though. just make up something random!

i still have nooo idea what to say..

Well I got hurled off the stage at the Roxy during the foxboro show. I could say that a bouncer tackled/hurled me off, and then Billie Joe saw it, and extended a hand outwards to help me up, and bring me back up on stage to continue dancing and singing.

[Guest Shangri-La]

that's it. im copying and pasting the Laurie L story. 1iota will be so confused!

[Bohemian+Scandal]

that's it. im copying and pasting the Laurie L story. 1iota will be so confused!

What's the Laurie L story?

[MusicalDeviant]

that's it. im copying and pasting the Laurie L story. 1iota will be so confused!

Really? Thought I was being creative. Fuck.

I could say the good reverend strychnine twist married tre and I on stage. Though that may be taking it too far.

[Guest Shangri-La]

What's the Laurie L story?

do you not own kerplunk??

[MusicalDeviant]

What's the Laurie L story?

My Adventure With Green Day

Fictional story from the Kerplunk CD inlay.

Dear Diary, I still can't believe it!! Me, Laurie L., the plainest, most boring girl at Pinhole Valley High School, the girl that all the boys bark at when I walk by, the girl whose Mother wouldn't even let her go to a New Kids On The Block concert because "there's often a bad element at those rock concerts, dear," I got to go on a 4 day tour with my total hearthrobs, GREEN DAY!!! Little did I know that when I entered a "Win A Dream Date With Green Day" contest in Tiger Beat magazine (my lame-o brother calls it Puberty Beat, but what does he know, he's probably a homo anyways) that I, out of all the millions of Green Day fans in America would get picked!! The day that the letter arrived was the happiest day of my life.But before I could get too excited, I realized that I had a biiiig problem....my parents!!! I knew that they'd never let me go off with a rock band for even one night, let alone 4 days! So for once I decided not to put up with their crap. I wasn't sure what to do, so at school the next day I went around to all the weirdos and asked them what THEY would do? See, I figure people who have blue mowhawks and come to school only when they feel like it and make these gross magazines with naked pictures in them must have figured out a way to handle their parents. So I went to this guy Eggplant (boy I feel sorry for him, his parents must have really hated him to name him something like that), and he looked at me like, "You really wanna go on tour with Green Day?" And I said, "Oh yeah, I'd DIE to go on tour with Green Day." He looked at me kind of funny and said, "Yeah, but would you KILL?" I thought he was joking, but I wasn't sure.Then I looked at his beady little eyes piercing deep into my soul and I KNEW he wasn't. I thought, hmmm, what the hell, you only go around once, might as well go for it, blah blah, blah.... So I said, kinda hoarse and everything, "Yeah, I guess I would..." And he said, "Then the one you should talk to is Claude." OMIGOD!!! Even I had heard of Claude. He's so evil that he's practically....SATANIC!!! He dropped out of school in 8th grade, and all he ever does is take drugs and read weird books and molest little girls. I was always afraid to even look at him. But I'd gone too far now to stop. After school, instead of going home, I went to Telegraph Avenue in Berkeley where all the scummy people hang out, and sure enough, there was Claude. He looked all perverted and he was smoking cigarettes and all these girls were standing around him like they wanted him to do bad stuff to them. But they got out of the way when they saw me coming, and Claude wasn't mean or dirty or anything. He was actually kinda nice. He said, "My friend Eggplant tells me YOU have a problem." I said, "Two problems, actually. Two really BIG ones." "Parents, huh? This should take care of em." He handed me a brown bottle full of pills. "How many of these should I take?" I asked him. He laughed, kind of heh-heh like. "No, you dont take them, THEY do. Your parents." "Oh NO," I said, "My parents wouldnt take drugs. Their Christian Scientists." "You look like a smart little girl. I'll bet you can figure something out." And you know what? He was right. I DID! That night, I offered to help my mother make dinner. Then, when she wasn't looking, I emptied all of Claude's pills into the mashed potatoes. Then, I said I didnt feel like eating, and went upstairs and listened to all of my Green Day records 5 or 6 times. After awhile, I stuck my head out the door. "YUCK!" I heard my dad say. "These are the worst mashed potatoes I ever tasted in my life!" "Then cook your own goddam dinner, you lazy scumbag, I'm not your slave." I was suprised, my mother didnt usually swear. My dad said, "I'm not going to eat these. They taste like shit!" But my mother yelled at him, "You eat all those potatoes, or I will dump them over your head, and shove the dish up your ass." "SHHHH" he said. "Laurie will hear you!" "She's asleep, the stupid little bitch! I swear, I dont see how my daughter could be such an idiot! I bet the babies got switched at the hospital!""Now, she's just a little bit slow.""Yeah, and I wonder who she got it from. Are you gonna eat those potatoes?" My dad always does what mom tells him. I even heard him scraping the bowl. After awhile, I heard a clunk and a crash, and then the whole dinning room table fell over. I went downstairs, and they were both flopped out on the floor, like, totally dead. It was weird. I realized that I better do something before my brother got home, because I didnt have enough pills to take care of him too. Luckily, we had a brand new garbage disposal, so I took a butcher knife and cut mom and dad up into little pieces and put them down the garbage. It took a long time, and it was kinda messy, but I kept singing all my favorite Green Day songs, and it made the work easier. The only trouble was, the bones wouldn't go down the garbage disposal, and now I was getting nervous, because my brother would be home any minute. Then I got an idea. I gathered up all the bones and carried them out into the backyard, and threw them over the fence to the neighbor's pitbull. He was so happy, he didnt even bark at me. Then my brother came home. "Where's mom and dad?" he asked. "Uh....they went to....Utah...!" "Utah! Why the hell would they go there?" "Uh, I think they decided to become Mormons or something." He looked at me kinda wierd and went upstairs to look at his porno pictures. I went to my room and started packing my bags! The next morning, I was at the airport. My own private jet waiting for me there, and you know what, it was all painted GREEN, and on the side of it it said "WELCOME ABOARD LAURIE L., GREEN DAY TOUR '90." So, I went on the plane, and I was the only passenger! And all the stewardesses just waited on me! and they listened to Green Day records all the way to Arizona, where the tour was going to start! When I got there, there was a limo, GREEN limo of course, waiting for me, and this guy with a top hat opened the door for me, and when I got in the back seat, THERE THEY WERE!!! All three of them, Billie Joe, Mike, and Tre!!! I was so excited I didn't even know where to sit, I mean, I didnt know which one of them to sit next to first. So I sat between Billie Joe and Tre, and they both started talking to me, but I didn't know which one I liked best cause they were both so nice, but then I decided I liked Bille Joe better, because Tre kept singing these rap songs that had lots of bad words in them. In fact, I was suprised they even let him in the band, because I didn't think GREEN DAY ever said swear words. Well, they did on that one song, "Knowledge", but thats only because it was written by some other band, Operation Ivy, who I heard were a bunch of punk rockers. Then we went to a show at this place called "Hippycore" and there were all these people with long hair standing around eating vegatables and stuff. It was kind of icky. But the worst thing was when I found out there were gonna be some OTHER bands playing, too. I got really mad and said, "Why can't GREEN DAY just play for 3 hours? Why do you have all these other stupid bands?" Everybody told me to be quiet, and that the other bands were good too. But they weren't. I mean, they werent GREEN DAY. They didnt even have any songs that I could sing along to. So, I kept yelling, "BOOOOO! Your terrible! We want Green Day!!" until some rocker bitch told me to shut up or she would re-arrange my face with her bottle opener. I wondered if she was just trying to be friendly, but I decided she wasnt, so I went outside to wait for my heroes, GREEN DAY. But when they finally played, it was worth everything! Billie sang one of my favorite songs, and then, right in the middle of "Disappearing Boy", he stopped and said, "I'd like to dedicate this song to out very special friend Laurie L., who came down from Pinole to be here with us today. She's just so beautiful and nice, gosh, I know if she was my girlfriend, I'd never disappear again." That's when I fainted. When I woke up, the show was over, and they were packing away all of the equipment. I said, "Billie Joe, did you really mean what you said on stage?" And he looked at my sincere, and said, "You know it babe, but our love can never be, because I already belong to another. Besides, you're too young and innocent for the life of a rock and roll wife. Take my advice, go back to Pinhole and finish school, and one day you'll make some lucky guy very happy." "But Billie, I'd do anything to be with you. I already did! I killed my parents just so I could be here tonight." But he just laughed and said, "Really? Killed your parents, huh? Thats pretty cool." Then we all got in Green Day's tour bus to drive to Los Angeles. I was pretty excited, because I never was in Hollywood before, and I had a map of all the stars houses and everything. But we didnt see any movie stars, just a bunch of boys with big hairdoos and women that Tre said were prostitutes. I never know whether to beleive him or not. He's kinda mean you know. I am starting to think he's my least favorite member of Green Day, because he kept singing that horrible Ice Cube song that goes, "Bitch-killa, bitch-killa." Besides, when I asked him for his autograph, he said I had to talk to his agent, and when I asked who his agent was, he started to unzip his pants. So I screamed, and Bille and Mike told Tre to behave and he did after that, even though I said I thought they should tie him up till the next show, but Mike said alot of drummers are like that, their brains just get rattled around too much from all that pounding. Then you know what? I saw Billie and Mike drinking out of BEER BOTTLES!! I was shocked, because they're not even 21, in fact their only 18, so I asked them what the big idea was, but Billie took me aside and whispered, "Listen, you've got to keep this a secret, but there isnt really beer in these bottles." "There isnt?" I asked. "NO, it's really milk. Everybody in Green Day likes milk best of all, but the thing is, we drink it out of beer bottles because if we don't, people will make fun of us and think we are sissies." Then I understood and I felt so sorry for the boys. Peer Pressure is such a terrible thing. At the show in Hollywood I even got to stay backstage and everything, but just as the boys were getting ready to play, there was a knock at the dressing room door. "It must be our deli tray." Everyone said, but it wasn't. It was the POLICE! OMIGOD!! I jumped in front of the officers, and said, "Wait! Don't arrest Green Day. There isn't really beer in those bottles, its really milk!" He looked at me and said "Is it now? And your name wouldn't happen to be Laurie now would it little lady?" And I said, "That's my name, don't wear it out." "Then we'll have to ask you to come with us." "What do you mean?" I screamed. "Are you crazy? Green Day is going to be playing any minute now!" But he said, "Sorry, it cant be helped," and they took me in back of the police car and handcuffed me and everything, and then I thought, oh god, I wonder if this has anything to do with my parents? Sure enough, it did. That stupid pitbull dragged one of my dad's collarbones into the house, and it's owner found it and called the cops. So I didnt get to see the rest of the tour, and I had to go to court and everything and now I'm in jail, and I might not get out until the year 2019. Oh well, everyone's pretty nice here and they let me listen to my Green Day tapes. But they all ask me, was it worth it? Killing your parents just so you could go on tour with Green Day? And I just smile, a deep, knowing smile, because I've seen and done things that they'll never experience, not if they live to be 100, and I say, "Of course it was. After all, everyone gets 2 parents, but there's only one GREEN DAY!"

[Bohemian+Scandal]

do you not own kerplunk??

Haha. I did, but the CD has long since disappeared. Now I know what the hell you're talking about though.

Thanks Deviant! I forgot all about that story.

[Guest Shangri-La]

haha. they're totally going to open my email and shit themselves.

[Bohemian+Scandal]

haha. they're totally going to open my email and shit themselves.

That is brilliant. I wonder if anyone on 1iota will get it.

[Guest Shangri-La]

That is brilliant. I wonder if anyone on 1iota will get it.

highly doubtful.

sent!

[Bohemian+Scandal]

Haha. Oops. I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to register for classes on the 23rd. XD

Fuck college, man! :whistling:

[kidney]

I'll just say that I was dying from cancer and the Make A Wish fundation or something had Green Day pull through to see me for my story.

sent.

hopefully they don't realize I shoulda died by then.

[Bohemian+Scandal]

What's up with all the fake ass stories? Lol.

[Kryssi.]

That's not cool to play on shit like cancer just to try and get onstage with them.

[amy_runs]

My story was true.....

I should have spiced it up though

[Bexie.]

Is anyone from the IC going. Coz I just received an email from them and in it (amongst other things Paris Pre-sale/Free Nokia tickets/AMA's/Live in Tokoyo EP) they mentioned this about the free gig and I quote

"NOTE – we are trying to work out something to ensure Idiot Club members get into this event. Stay tuned."

As i'm not going anymore just thought I'd let you guys know

[Kryssi.]

Is anyone from the IC going. Coz I just received an email from them and in it (amongst other things Paris Pre-sale/Free Nokia tickets/AMA's/Live in Tokoyo EP) they mentioned this about the free gig and I quote

"NOTE – we are trying to work out something to ensure Idiot Club members get into this event. Stay tuned."

As i'm not going anymore just thought I'd let you guys know

I think a bunch of IC'ers want to go to this, who still haven't got a ticket. The last I checked about a handful of people were still waiting for their confirmation e-mail along with the online ticket and reference ticket they had to print off. I'm not going, so I declined my ticket so that's back up for anyone who can actually get there.

[davegrohllover]

Is anyone from the IC going. Coz I just received an email from them and in it (amongst other things Paris Pre-sale/Free Nokia tickets/AMA's/Live in Tokoyo EP) they mentioned this about the free gig and I quote

"NOTE – we are trying to work out something to ensure Idiot Club members get into this event. Stay tuned."

As i'm not going anymore just thought I'd let you guys know

Thanks for the heads up. Good luck to everyone who entered.

[Guest Shangri-La]

are they seeing if we're members of the IC before giving out tickets?

i thought they were giving priority to green day fans in general by telling us to put Oakland in the comments.

[Jamzombie89]

The 1iota hot line is retarded. Every time I call they tell me voice mails full and I cant get through. Jesus christ. :down: Has anyone called and asked if a school id or birth certificate is qualified, cause I really want my brother to go but he doesn't have a state issued ID.

[davegrohllover]

The 1iota hot line is retarded. Every time I call they tell me voice mails full and I cant get through. Jesus christ. :down: Has anyone called and asked if a school id or birth certificate is qualified, cause I really want my brother to go but he doesn't have a state issued ID.

How cool another person from Nevada is coming! Yeah i called, You have to call them a million times before they will pick up. When i talked to them They told me i must bring a state id. No school ids. But i duno about birth certificates. Just keep calling they will pick up. HAve a safe trip and when are you leaving?