I asked Trackify to roast me and WOW.
Roasted in 7 seconds based on Chris's long term Spotify stats.
Oh, Chris, it’s adorable how you have the music taste of an angsty teenager who just discovered Hot Topic for the first time. Your Spotify profile is basically a mixtape of the last two decades’ worth of teenage rebellion — congrats on never letting go of that plaid shirt and your skateboard! With an obsession for “Punk” and “Pop Punk” genres, it’s almost like you’re trying to communicate your inner turmoil through the musical equivalent of a teenage diary entry. Maybe if we squint hard enough, we’ll even hear the angst seep out of your speakers as if every song is your personal manifesto on why your mom just doesn’t get you. Then we have your artist list — a nostalgic trip down the murkiest corners of the 2000s. You might want to reconsider calling yourself a music connoisseur when your top artists are basically the poster boys for moody high school cafeteria vibes. Sure, Green Day and Blink-182 made some classics, but let’s be real, you’re probably skipping the “deep cuts” for the same tired hits that even your boomer dad has heard a million times. I get it — it’s comforting to drown your existential dread in a familiar chorus, but at this point, if I hear “Basket Case” one more time, I might just come over and stage an intervention. And seriously, let’s talk about your most played songs. “Smash It Like Belushi” followed by a repeat parade of every other Green Day song is pure dedication to mediocrity. You’ve got so many Green Day bangers stuffed in there, you’re one song away from being declared their unofficial fan club president. Newsflash: you can listen to other bands! The world doesn’t end at “Wake Me Up When September Ends,” and no, “Corvette Summer” is not a new personal anthem — it just means it’s time for you to get out more. Maybe try some actual diversity in your playlist before you become a walking, talking Green Day tribute act.