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Viva La Sonia!'s Blog

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Sonia.

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I'm sorry I let you down

By simply being around

If I could disappear

I'd be long gone,

But I don't know how to walk

All I've ever done is run

From your confrontation

From your criticism.

If this is how you treat the ones you love

I'd hate to be your enemy

The paradox and my misery

Is that you don't know I am already.

You want to have me in your debt

But my strength is to forget

All that you've ever said

I'd carry your cross to the ends of the world

Hoping my bandages and shackles

Get lost in the dirt.

I'd carry you to the ends of the word

Even as my bones break

Just so I can have the pleasure

Of seeing you fall, and claiming it was a mistake.

................................................................................................

The voices in my head

Are louder than yours outside

I'll be who I want to be

Even when I'm wrong

For the sake of my pride.

My dependence has lost meaning

And my heart's lost feeling

I'm am empty space in your life

You're the emptiness in my mind.

I'd bleed out, from self inflicted wounds

Just so I can feel, like I have a use.

A use beyond you using me

A use beyond your plans for me.

Your ropes are coming lose

And you're losing your hold on me.

Does it terrify you,

The thought of me being free?

You wouldn't want to see me crippled

But you'd like me in a cage

I'll decide when the time comes

To finally display the result of suppressed rage.

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