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Just the Truth

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Blink-182's New Album "California" has an Energy Drought

Blink-182 has never really been a "great" band, but their music has always been fun and relatable. They're one of those bands that sticks with you emotionally. I can remember exactly what my life was like during each Blink album release, and a few of their songs remind me vividly of people and places of my younger days. However, after losing their most talented member in Tom Delonge to CIA/alien investigations and overall insanity, the band is lacking in creativity. Blink wasn't the same afte

DookieLukie

DookieLukie

Why I'm Very Concerned About GDC

Just as a disclaimer, I know everything I'm about to say will be quickly dismissed by members of GDC with comments like "Well you deserved it" or "You had it coming" or maybe even something more detailed. I know most of what I've said in the past has been to annoy, to joke, and for comedy, but if I could be serious for at least one blog post, I'd like to address something that has been bothering me lately. I usually keep all of my suspension issues between myself, mods, and the affected party, b

DookieLukie

DookieLukie

Shades of Louis C.K.: Part Three

This piece is called: Giamatti C.K., due to his resemblance of an non-bald Paul Giamatti. Although a good actor who chose horrible roles, his appearance gives him the vibe of a horrid actor who most likely stars in Adam Sandler films. Before adding the red, curly locks, this man looked like a groomed business man. Wow, what a statement.

DookieLukie

DookieLukie

Shades of Louis C.K.: Part Two

The second piece is called: Doppelganger C.K. Just your typical painting of an American man, but when dashed with the red beard, looks just like Louise C.K. Fascinating. http://imgur.com/uGBVO0o

DookieLukie

DookieLukie

Shades of Louis C.K.: An Analysis of the Comedic Perception of Gender Based on Funniness of the Sex

A lot of bloggers here on GDC post their personal works of art. I was inspired, and decided to embark on a five-piece project involving the creation of my own art. These works are meant to fuse my own sense of personality with social commentary. The point of these pieces is to make you ask "Why do I think this?" and hopefully enlighten you along the way. Enjoy! Here is the first entry, Putting C.K.: a painting of Vladimir Putin (aka, Putin), except dashed with a ginger beard. To most it i

DookieLukie

DookieLukie

DookieLukie Tries to Become a GDC Moderator - Revisited

Last summer (June 2014), I applied to become a moderator on GDC when Andres made a forum-wide post asking for applications. I replied as soon as I saw his invitation, seeing this as an opportunity to expand my resume, make bank, and propel me forward to a successful and happy career. Andres never replied. Maybe he never even read it. He didn't even have the courtesy to thank me for my interest or tell me why I was rejected. Instead, Tom became a mod, and we all know how that turned out. I was cr

DookieLukie

DookieLukie

DookieLukie's Blog Advice Blog Special - The Hunt

After some confusion last week from one particular person, this week's DookieLukie's Blog Advice Blog Special will start with a disclaimer. DISCLAIMER: DookieLukie's Blog Advice Blog Special is purely satirical. In no way, shape, or form is it the true intent or advice of the author. DookieLukie's Blog Advice Blog waives all responsibility for failure or harm associated with adherence to its comedic "advice," as well as any butthurt experienced by readers. Now that is out of way, and we

DookieLukie

DookieLukie

DookieLukie's Blog Advice Blog Special - Securing That Lovely Lady

For the next few blog entries, I will be writing advice columns for specific issues in everyday life. This advice will be based off my own experience and will be written with the intent to create better lives for my readers. In this spirit, feel free to PM me or comment below any topic you would like to see me tackle on DookieLukie's Blog Advice Blog Special. No topic is too ludicrous. No topic is too dull. This week's topic, as chosen by a few unnamed people via PM, is dating. I was asked t

DookieLukie

DookieLukie

Russian Horror Story - Ep. 7 (Finale Double Feature)

This marks the end of Russian Horror Story. For the finale, you will be treated to a double feature of true Soviet horror. Enjoy. Capitalist Copymachine Russian man is at work alone. Copy machine begins making copies. Man did not make copies. He goes to look. Copies show him dead at desk. He curses bad capitalist machines. Shoots copier, and begins making all copies by hand. Such is life in Moscow. Toy Factory Toys are made by loyal factory for amusement of the children of the motherla

DookieLukie

DookieLukie

Russian Horror Story - Ep. 6 Lady Gorbochev

In Russia, coffin has pipe for air, and bell with string. If man is true Soviet, he does not die. When buried, yells for undertaker and rings bell. One day, bell rings on dirt pile of Lady Gorbochev. Is no wind. Undertaker asks,“Are you Lady Gorbochev?” Voice says “Yes!” “Born winter of 1927?” “Yes!” “Gravestone say you die 20 February, 1957” “Niet, am still living!” say lady. “Am sorry, but is August. In June, ground will thaw. You must wait for June.” Woman is true Soviet, waits for

DookieLukie

DookieLukie

Russian Horror Story - Ep. 5 Comrade Goat

Man is city Soviet from Moscow. He decide go camping in Siberia with comrades from glorious capital of Motherland. They no make campfire, is too cold and snow. Men drink vodka to keep warm. Hear noises around campsite, one comrade says is man goat who was mutated from nuclear bomb radiation. Legend is man goat is dirty capitalist. Soon, dark shape walks out of woods. Man shoot at it with master weapon Avtomat Kalashnikova 47. They check on fallen shadow. Is man goat, wounded by bullet. Men take

DookieLukie

DookieLukie

Russian Horror Story - Ep. 4 Bloody Marusya

Young man is working triple shift at factory when Comrade Sergei tells story of Bloody Marusya. Says look in mirror and say "Bloody Marusya" three times. Legend say she will climb from mirror screaming and kill you with knife and drink all your vodka. Man finish work and walk home to try Bloody Marusya trick. But when get to room of bath, man remember he is too poor to afford mirror. Such is life in Moscow.

DookieLukie

DookieLukie

Russian Horror Story - Ep. 3 Socialist Pornography

The return of the critically acclaimed series after the last episode was deleted and banned for being antisemitic. Hope everyone is less offended this time around. Man work in glorious Soviet potato field one day when telegram send to him. It say: "Hey Dmitri, go on internet and find website called 'Socialist pornography for socialist.' Send telegram elsewhere, for good of Mother Russia." Man curious, and so go on internet and find website. When man finds it, is man fucking bear, and he n

DookieLukie

DookieLukie

Russian Horror Story - Ep. 1 Lenin Statue

Mother and father get little tired from building Communism, so they want to go to Moscow to buy vodka. They call most trusted babysitter. When babysitter arrives, children already sleep in beds. Babysitter just sits around and make sure everything good with children. Later that night, babysitter gets bored and goes to read Marx, but she can’t read downstairs because there’s no electricity (parents don’t want children reading Marx all night long). So, she calls parents and asks if she can get can

DookieLukie

DookieLukie

DookieLukie's Sweeptakes - Take 1 (Signed Green Day Trilogy Picks)

Hello GDC community and blog readers, Through some lucky circumstances, I have come upon two sets of three Green Day Trilogy guitar picks SIGNED by the three members of Green Day. Long story short, my friend who works at an arena that Green Day went to on their tour was given them by one of the guitar techs that he helped out during the setup for the show. This giveaway is completely free and is my way of showing the community of GDC how much they mean to me. I think the prize will be exactl

DookieLukie

DookieLukie

Trilogy Dissection Part TRE: Return of the Shit

Trilogy Dissection is back. Sorry for the huge delay. I've been very busy with other more pressing matters. Mainly, I was waiting for a sponsorship deal with a company. They saw the previous two Trilogy Dissections and said that the quality of their product matches both the quality of my writing and of the Trilogy itself. They said that people who like the Trilogy would also like their product, and they payed me $5,000 to subtly advertise in my blog post without actually saying that they wanted

DookieLukie

DookieLukie

International Supertwits(MASSIVE TRIGGER WARNING)

Shalom all, I've decided to commemorate myself and my transition into the good graces of Lady Nightlife by pointing out some of my highlight moments here on GDC. I couldn't find a lot of stuff from further back, so feel free to comment to add to the list. Be warned, what you are about to read HAS offended you in the past and could possibly trigger your PTSD. Much of what is said is prolific, deep, and thoughtful, so enter with the assumption that you WILL be touched. DookieLukie is a

DookieLukie

DookieLukie

Trilogy Dissection Part DOS: Lady Cobro Ono

DOS. Meaning two in the Spanish language. Huh. You know, if I went to a Spanish –speaking country, the only word I’d know is DOS, really. I’d walk around confused with no direction, desperately trying to find something that reminds me of home. This is exactly what Green Day’s DOS is: a miserable vacation to a place which you drastically misjudged. DOS is like when you go on some ocean cruise expecting to have a ton of fun because people told you it was fun, but then when you get there you get vi

DookieLukie

DookieLukie

Trilogy Dissection Part UNO: Here Comes Treble

It's time to suspend your disbelief, my lovelies. Exclusively, for only a few days, I am now a Trilogy hater. Call it an epiphany, realization, or insanity if you will, but I'm about to explain to you why the Trilogy is one of the most disappointing musical endeavors of the 21st century. Now put on your rubber gloves. We're going to have to go in deep on this one. Green Day's Uno is quite possibly the most over-hyped pile of pop-punk shit ever released. Besides not marketing these albums at

DookieLukie

DookieLukie

R.I.P. Seagull: Activist, Martyr

The first time I met Steven Seagull (pronounced Steven Seegaul), we came upon each other quite by accident. He was a figure who was always preceded by his own lore. I spent over a year on GDC without ever encountering this wise soul. Alas, a year wasted! He was a man of great humor and great poise. Although he became a hated outcast, wrongly denounced by his peers, he stood first. Everyone hated him for what he said, but never gave him credit for how loud and often he said it. Is Steven Seagull

DookieLukie

DookieLukie

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