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Viva La Sonia!'s Blog

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About this blog

Poetry

Entries in this blog

Poetry (again)

Hello GDC, I've started writing again lately. Not as much, and maybe not as well .  but I've decided to get this blog started up again. Apologies if they're not very good. And feel free to go through some of my older stuff, if you've never read my work before. I hope you enjoy all future posts!!  XX Sonia ----------------------------------------------------------- I didn't intend on invisibility  But that's how I feel when you look at me I've gone back to the co

Sonia.

Sonia.

New Poems

I'm sorry I let you down By simply being around If I could disappear I'd be long gone, But I don't know how to walk All I've ever done is run From your confrontation From your criticism. If this is how you treat the ones you love I'd hate to be your enemy The paradox and my misery Is that you don't know I am already. You want to have me in your debt But my strength is to forget All that you've ever said I'd carry your cross to the ends of the world Hoping my bandages and shackle

Sonia.

Sonia.

Poem

Aren't we falling apart The same pain, different scars You inflict wounds to easy the pain But there's no tangible gain You've been working so long To feel the slightest bit better, You've been telling yourself you're strong But you honestly know better. How strong could you be When you think your worst enemy is 'me'. Your tear stained face Hosts the brightest smile, In hope that they won't ask Whether you've been crying. You hide it extremely well When asked how you are You'd sa

Sonia.

Sonia.

New Poem

It would be easy to forget If I hadn't seen magic In every step you ever took As you walked away, Where you'd forever stay. I don't see the point in loving If I'll never love you again. I won't want to start again Knowing this is how it ends. But I'd like to see this Take a different course Keeping in mind what I know, Would I not have fallen Would this not have crashed I know I would have broken, My heart would be smashed, No matter what happened Because you'd never love Like

Sonia.

Sonia.

Poem

You hardly realise How you make me feel Beyond useless When you only pay heed To my flaws, my mistakes My inability to win this race. My lack of positivity Routed in your face. I'm not one to embrace All of my flaws, I'd rather hide. Behind my twisted way Of saving my pride. The feeling inside Would only diminish Until there's nothing left For you to finish. Your words are like knives And I've been cut too many times To ever go down that road again. I've learnt to hide.

Sonia.

Sonia.

Poem

Could someone come up with a reason For this pointless passive aggression I'd trade the heart on my sleeve For an iron fist For resistance to what is 'right' For the ability to create distance. Nothing presents itself as worth it, Yet we have so much to lose. We act like we have no choice But this is the life you choose. You are the mirror I stare into The illusion that reminds me How distorted I can be. Your 'wise words' , Empty resonance to my ears. It's easier for me to disapp

Sonia.

Sonia.

Poem

Disappointment is what I've come to know Until it's a feeling I refuse to show The look on your face, Perpetually telling me I'm a disgrace The feeling I get when you turn away Isn't unique, it's merely routine To see you give up on me As I give up on myself To see you wonder why you tried While I wonder, myself. I count the tears, because pain's so reliable It's emotionally oblivion when love isn't vital. It's all the memories that truly destroy me Back when I used to believe In

Sonia.

Sonia.

New Poem

There's chaos in the corners of our minds And we've been taught to never stop looking, For what we could never find. You hold my heart in your dirty hands I told you to keep it safe But I know you'll just burry it in the sand. Let the waves wash over it So it finally feels something Illuminated by a candle, never been lit. I know you say things Because the seem 'appropriate' But I'm impossible to fascinate. I'll pretend I'm happy I always say what you want to hear But I'll make sur

Sonia.

Sonia.

Poem

I'd cry in a strangers arms Because you're never here As good as a stranger Is what you've become, dear. I thought I was fine Until not too long ago When I realised how much I truly didn't know. I've broken my own heart And I'm slightly ashamed Because I've got no one But myself to blame. Intoxicated my emotions That never really existed How long could I have resisted. There's so much one wants to believe Out of which, little is true This self loathing isn't worth it When I k

Sonia.

Sonia.

Poem!

Someone teach me to look up Because I've never felt so low At the bottom of an abyss, nowhere to go This secret hopelessness, no one will know Because I smile like I've never been happier before I'll tell you I'm okay Because questions just get in the way I'll pretend it's under control Like my soul hasn't been sold Like my heart isnt in the wrong hands You'll watch as I disappear Wishing you were me But there's a life behind the mask Tears you'll never see It's dark inside, the li

Sonia.

Sonia.

Two new poems

I hate myself more than anyone else I'm drowning in a pool of tears and blood But I refuse to call for help Torn between who I am And who I'm supposed to be The same blunt blade, Back and forth, again and again Penetrating my skin, to my bones In a twisted way, that's my home These flames do, in fact, stop me I am, truly, careless, not carefree I've reached a point I don't know what I'd be Without my darkened wings of misery. No reason to smile, is my reason in life This parad

Sonia.

Sonia.

Poem

I love you when you walk away Because I know you won't stay. I don't know what I'm fighting for Or why I fight at all. All I know is, when I look at you I've never felt so small. You've got a hold on my heart Squeezing it tighter Until I know I can't take it much longer. There's no way to break free From the most beautiful form of misery. There's no way to forget The memories I still long to create. I'm in a prison, I've constructed And it's impossible to escape. I've tried calli

Sonia.

Sonia.

New poem

Someone take her home Because she's never felt more alone Suffocating in a crowded room Hoping for it to end soon She's decorating the gallows With petals from the red roses Her lover gave her, with their first kiss Her nimble fingers Prepare the noose She feels so free With nothing to lose They tell her to hold on But her bleeding hands Have nothing to hold on to She looks into his eyes For the last time, tonight Seeing everything she loves Drift into oblivion He whispers wor

Sonia.

Sonia.

Poem..

I need to know there's someone out there Who feels the same, Equally broken, with no one to blame. I'm sick of waiting and watching Everything I believe in Go up in flames. All I've ever done is pretend That the constant misery will end Covering my eyes, with your 'advice' There's nothing left to fend for When you're broken beyond repair Feeling like you have no where to go But there's nothing you want more Than you see the tears dry And the frown fade away from you pale face

Sonia.

Sonia.

Two new poems

In a room full of emptiness There's not much to see Except the memory Of what might be. A life based on fantasy The distance from reality Is too great to phantom By merely sympathising with me. You wouldn't know What it's like To live constantly, aimlessly Envisioning a prize. You don't know what It's like to be told To carry on, to hold On to the dreams. Dreams have no meaning Nightmares aren't worth seeing Imagination is crumbling Under the pressure of being. ..........

Sonia.

Sonia.

Poem...

Grab me by my heart Or drag me by my neck I know, that to you I'll never be the best Oh, how I love you, You'll never know I can't stand myself Deep within my bones Strangle myself, Before you strangle me Just to feel like I freed myself from misery I'm screaming words Inspired by pain Do you even know What they mean? I'm cursing myself In the pouring rain But I avoid making a scene We wouldn't want you To think little of me But I doubt your Opinion could worsen It's ob

Sonia.

Sonia.

New Poem!

I'm sick of having to listen To you share your 'wisdom' And being the one who Stands down and obeys you I'm sick of being forced to believe You know anything but the obvious, about me That you know what you're doing When you tell me what's wrong with me. I don't see anyone in a position to judge My persistence to hold this grudge I'll come around when I find a reason to forgive When I open up and start to believe. But nothing's given me a reason to forget the past I'm starting to

Sonia.

Sonia.

Poem

Compared to shattered glass, All signs of hope, in my past As it gets hard to see through the tears I expose my growing fears I'll smile when I'm angry So you'll never know What's truly hurting me Deep within my bones. You'll never know the truth Nor expose the lies Hidden under the fake prise. I'd like to see you give up on me Like I've given up on myself Then I'd really know I don't need to live for anyone else. For once I'd let my heart guide me And wouldn't use my eyes to s

Sonia.

Sonia.

New poem

I wish I could pick you up off the ground I wish I could heal your bleeding wounds I wish your happiness, wouldn't disappear so soon. I'm picking up the pieces again, again and again The voice in my head, is my new best friend It's nothing but a liar, but nothing sounds sweeter. Cuts and bruises and burns Time flies and she continues to yearn For somewhere she could be herself. And wouldn't have to answer to anyone else. I've told you a thousand times before That you don't have to do

Sonia.

Sonia.

Poem

Can you feel the darkness take over the light Can you feel yourself lose every fight Looking for someplace to be Where you can be free from misery But everyone can't be blessed with a life of glory. I can see the tears run down your face I know you'd like your memories replaced With a better life in a safer world With a sweeter melody, where your voice can be heard. Everyone can see in your eyes That you've been living a life of lies I can see in your smile, that you're unhappy And y

Sonia.

Sonia.

Poem..

You ignore the blood on my hands As I hold on and try to scream for help I'm all alone in your shallow mind And my conscious gives me no place to hide I've been sitting on a fence And walking on a tightrope for far too long All I want is to fall. Experience life at the bottom Six feet under until I'm forgotten Swallowed by flames, With no one to blame, but myself For creating a life, close to hell. Can you feel me shaking, in the dark Can you see me dying to make a mark, But you'

Sonia.

Sonia.

Poem

I know I'll never be good enough But it's safe to say I've had enough I'm sick of all the lies I've told To make you feel like you'd have someone to hold I'm sick of pretending I'm alright When every day is a losing fight I'm losing my mind, Because it's filled with your thoughts I'll never win, but I've never lost I've always been in-between Looking for a way out Hell or heaven wouldn't accept me Because they don't need someone to envy My hard heart is made of gold My justice has

Sonia.

Sonia.

Poem

I've got a room full of nothing And a heart full of hate A head full of confusion And a soul relying on resentment. How do you expect me to live When I know you won't forgive All my mistakes, The moments I've been an emotional slave. I can't expect much from you When I know I don't deserve to Have a place to run Have someone to shelter me. Dependent, is something I just can't be Because I haven't found someone Who's worth me putting my guards down, And just being free. A li

Sonia.

Sonia.

New poem

I'd go crawling back to you When it's the last thing I should do Because I know I'd love you When it's the stupidest thing to do. I've seen my heart break a thousand times And these tears have graced my face For as long as you've had a place, In my mind and in my heart. And all I'd want to do is restart Go through it all again And re-create the memories So they wouldn't be regrets, Revise the lovely words Only to call them lies. Open up my heart again Only to watch it die. I co

Sonia.

Sonia.

Poem..

I'm trying not be sucked back into the abyss But I'm far too enchanted by the devil's kiss The charming voice saying unspeakable things Exposing the lies of well loved kings The misery feels like safety That's all I really feel lately When I can tell you lie And in my heart I won't ever know why Why no one truly seems to care Why I'm not wanted anywhere I'm nothing but your obstruction On a futile mission towards self destruction With the inability to succeed At even the most

Sonia.

Sonia.

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