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Anaïs.

The Sad Thread

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Anaïs.

Welp, we have a happy thread and an angry thread, but I don't think the latter is suitable for some purposes. In short, this is a thread for you to vent about what's bumming you out but not making you want to throttle someone.

I'm watching our poor local squirrel get pelted by rain as he tries to snatch a morsel from my bird feeder, and it's just so weirdly pathetic that it sort of brought my whole mood down. :(

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Spike

My former best friend's 15 year old sister got stabbed at home today :(

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Anaïs.

My former best friend's 15 year old sister got stabbed at home today :(

Oh no. :( Hoping she pulls through.

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Spike

Oh no. :( Hoping she pulls through.

Thanks man. The details are really sketchy, I only found out from a local news website from back home. I had a massive, massive falling out with my friend a few years ago and we haven't spoken since but I still really like his family.

I bet that's not where you expected this thread to go, ha.

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Anaïs.

I bet that's not where you expected this thread to go, ha.

I was expecting it to, just not in the first post. :P Again, hoping she's okay. :(

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Anaïs.

I was driving down the road the other day, and there were two little birds sitting in my lane. I thought they would do what most birds do when a car comes along, and fly off, so I didn't slow down much. They didn't notice me, and there was a car in the oncoming lane, so there was no way I could swerve around. I ended up hitting one and killing it, and the other one was injured. I felt so bad seeing it flap around its dead buddy :(

You-monster-portal-2-30650838-1920-1200.

In all seriousness, that really sucks; I've always managed to swerve around any animal obstacles, and I'm sure I'd feel awful if I hit one. And seeing one survive and just flap around injured rather than dying outright...yikes. I can't even begin to fathom how awful it would feel to run over someone's pet dog.

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Fuzz

My level of social anxiety has kept me from applying for a job. It's even a good paying job, but it would require me to meet with people all day long. I can't even get over the thought of having to go in and meeting with one or two people just to apply for the job, much less going in to help people every day. It's bumming me out to no end that I can't even build myself up enough to just take in an application. As for money, I hate having to owe anyone money, and the last thing I ever want to do is ask my parents for help (hell, I'm 27 years old, I should be well on my own by now), and yet I'm barely hanging on by a thread. I keep telling myself "alright, tomorrow you'll go in". I wasn't always this introverted. In high school I was very 'center of attention' guy, in a band, had very social jobs - but after going through depression while in college I've just become more and more introverted. Thankfully I'm not depressed like that anymore, but fuck, this whole thing is really bumming me out.

There you go, really brought this thread to some nice lows.

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oda

Even though i would probably cry if i ever hit an animal with my car, i would ask people to please be careful about suddenly breaking for small animals. My dad got in a accident on his motorcycle last summer because the car in front stopped for a pack of ducks on the highway. Making a fast unprepeared stop with a motorcycle in high speed will usually end in a fall. And the ducks died anyway cause they got hit by the car.

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spark in the night

When I'm not actively doing something that preoccupies my mind, I'll sometimes think about that night (early morning) when my dad passed away - that 2 hour period of time when I received that first phone call learning that my dad's health was looking grave; sitting on the couch at 2:30am shaking uncontrollably, my stomach in knots; to 3:00am when my mom called to tell me that my dad didn't make it. The next hour after that was an emotional roller coaster. Adrenaline kept me going - running in circles around the house grabbing anything and everything and throwing it into my suitcase. Calling my boss and leaving her a voicemail that was mostly me saying "uh" and "um" because I couldn't get the words out. I grabbed the photo collage of my dad and I off the wall and started talking out loud to him, or to the air. I don't know. I was just talking. I don't even remember everything I said. My mind had not fully comprehended what had happened...or maybe I did know and the adrenaline prevented me from shattering to pieces. There was a moment where I collapsed on the floor and started wailing. It wasn't tears, it wasn't sobs. It was wailing. Screaming in absolute shock, terror, and sadness. I've never cried like that, ever. And that memory will probably stick with me forever. I know that in time, I won't be sad anymore...I just wish that time was now...but I don't think it'll ever really go away.

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Spike

My level of social anxiety has kept me from applying for a job. It's even a good paying job, but it would require me to meet with people all day long. I can't even get over the thought of having to go in and meeting with one or two people just to apply for the job, much less going in to help people every day. It's bumming me out to no end that I can't even build myself up enough to just take in an application. As for money, I hate having to owe anyone money, and the last thing I ever want to do is ask my parents for help (hell, I'm 27 years old, I should be well on my own by now), and yet I'm barely hanging on by a thread. I keep telling myself "alright, tomorrow you'll go in". I wasn't always this introverted. In high school I was very 'center of attention' guy, in a band, had very social jobs - but after going through depression while in college I've just become more and more introverted. Thankfully I'm not depressed like that anymore, but fuck, this whole thing is really bumming me out.

There you go, really brought this thread to some nice lows.

I feel ya. I'm in basically the same position. It's now over a year since I finished uni and since then I've been unemployed, and the isolation has caused me to become very nervous and awkward around people, when in the past I've been a bit of a social butterfly. There have been quite a few jobs I could have applied for and been in with a reasonable chance of getting, but the whole interacting with people side of them has put me off. Which isn't great given that the industry I'm trying to get into is entirely based on who you know. Obviously I'm financially fucked as a result and it makes me feel pretty shitty when I blow off a job application like that. It's kind of comforting to know I'm not on my own, although I'm totally aware of how much it sucks.

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wood

There are alot of geese that live around my neighborhood and they have recently had babies. But today I noticed a few of the babies were missing and the momma had a hurt wing. We recently had a wicked storm. The look in their eyes is disheartening.

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Funky Kong

Tonight is the last night I'll be able to play Wii games and original DS games online since Nintendo is discontinuing the service tomorrow. So many great games/memories. Well it was a good run Nintendo and all those years it was always a free service.

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lizziebix

When I'm not actively doing something that preoccupies my mind, I'll sometimes think about that night (early morning) when my dad passed away - that 2 hour period of time when I received that first phone call learning that my dad's health was looking grave; sitting on the couch at 2:30am shaking uncontrollably, my stomach in knots; to 3:00am when my mom called to tell me that my dad didn't make it. The next hour after that was an emotional roller coaster. Adrenaline kept me going - running in circles around the house grabbing anything and everything and throwing it into my suitcase. Calling my boss and leaving her a voicemail that was mostly me saying "uh" and "um" because I couldn't get the words out. I grabbed the photo collage of my dad and I off the wall and started talking out loud to him, or to the air. I don't know. I was just talking. I don't even remember everything I said. My mind had not fully comprehended what had happened...or maybe I did know and the adrenaline prevented me from shattering to pieces. There was a moment where I collapsed on the floor and started wailing. It wasn't tears, it wasn't sobs. It was wailing. Screaming in absolute shock, terror, and sadness. I've never cried like that, ever. And that memory will probably stick with me forever. I know that in time, I won't be sad anymore...I just wish that time was now...but I don't think it'll ever really go away.

You'll always be sad but it won't be as emotional charged as it is right now. And you're right, with time, it will be better. Sadly, that time is not right now. Have some :hug: :hug: :hug: 's to help you get through each day until then.
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rootbeersoup

November's Storm's capacity for having fun on the internet

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Z J

^ Thanks, Fuzz.

And I'm sorry :hug: I don't struggle with those sorts of feelings in regard to work, but I'm very much the type of person who says, "Tomorrow, I'll do 'x' thing that'll improve my life," and then I never do it.

Who Wrote Holden Caulfield? has a line for that I do believe.

"…makes a plan to take a stand but always ends up sitting"

or something along those lines. Always one of my favorites

I'm broke. I don't think I'll be able to pay rent this month. I can't even put gas in my car. But my level of social anxiety has kept me from applying for a job. It's even a good paying job, but it would require me to meet with people all day long. I can't even get over the thought of having to go in and meeting with one or two people just to apply for the job, much less going in to help people every day. It's bumming me out to no end that I can't even build myself up enough to just take in an application. As for money, I hate having to owe anyone money, and the last thing I ever want to do is ask my parents for help (hell, I'm 27 years old, I should be well on my own by now), and yet I'm barely hanging on by a thread. I keep telling myself "alright, tomorrow you'll go in". I wasn't always this introverted. In high school I was very 'center of attention' guy, in a band, had very social jobs - but after going through depression while in college I've just become more and more introverted. Thankfully I'm not depressed like that anymore, but fuck, this whole thing is really bumming me out.

There you go, really brought this thread to some nice lows.

I won't hold it against you if you sell the soul of GDC for ad money.

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HARVESTER

I can't talk to anyone about this stuff. I am hopeful though... hopeful that you get through your sadness.

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She-Loves-Him

When I'm not actively doing something that preoccupies my mind, I'll sometimes think about that night (early morning) when my dad passed away - that 2 hour period of time when I received that first phone call learning that my dad's health was looking grave; sitting on the couch at 2:30am shaking uncontrollably, my stomach in knots; to 3:00am when my mom called to tell me that my dad didn't make it. The next hour after that was an emotional roller coaster. Adrenaline kept me going - running in circles around the house grabbing anything and everything and throwing it into my suitcase. Calling my boss and leaving her a voicemail that was mostly me saying "uh" and "um" because I couldn't get the words out. I grabbed the photo collage of my dad and I off the wall and started talking out loud to him, or to the air. I don't know. I was just talking. I don't even remember everything I said. My mind had not fully comprehended what had happened...or maybe I did know and the adrenaline prevented me from shattering to pieces. There was a moment where I collapsed on the floor and started wailing. It wasn't tears, it wasn't sobs. It was wailing. Screaming in absolute shock, terror, and sadness. I've never cried like that, ever. And that memory will probably stick with me forever. I know that in time, I won't be sad anymore...I just wish that time was now...but I don't think it'll ever really go away.

Reminds me of when mom first went into hospital. That day I came home from work and the whole family was there to tell me she was going to die. The only time in recent memory my brother and I have ever hugged. He held my hand the whole way to see her. Seeing her so sick in that bed. I can't get that image out of my head and I don't think I ever will. Nothing has hurt so bad, those few weeks of not knowing what was going to happen.

So sorry Kelsey :hug:

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Samantha

I'm sorry to hear about your dads passing Kelso.

I'm sorta in a similiar situation with my dad being really sick, but not like a bed-ridden sick, thank god, we are ver fortunate for that. It's just where the tumor is its resting at the base of his spine so after a while certain pain meds don't work anymore/ inflamation causes the tumor to actually hit the nerves and he's in so much agony for like a week until his doctor can get him something different. Sometimes during a week like that I can't help but think "oh god this is it how can he possibly survive all of this fucking pain" its like the worst feeling that nothing can be done

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GreenDayBass

Fuck life and fuck everything. I heard my dad come home from the bank or some crap like that. As if I would care anyways. Then he let the dog out and let him back in, only to find that he's really muddy on his paws and I was in my room at this time, so I heard him making some big bang noises. Turns out he was smacking the dog and yelling at him just for getting a little fucking mud on the fucking floor. So I went downstairs to stand up for the dog so he would stop yelling at him. I noticed that he instilled a huge amount of fear into the dog, o I had to tell him to stop yelling at the dog for nothing and stop abusing him in that way when he didn't even do anything but get a little fucking mud on his paws..it wasn't even that bloody messy. To make things worse, after I had stood up for him he calls me out to shut up, but I snapped back by saying "You" at which point he calls me out by implying that I don't do anything around the house - saying that I sit around and do nothing all day. It's not my fault I'm clearly unmotivated and not very happy in general to bother do anything. Am I angry? Well, obviously. Now I'm just in a worse state of mind than I ever was before and you know what? Maybe I'm just starting to think I don't deserve what I'm given. I'm probably being over dramatic and drastic, but what fucking difference does it make if I can't help but feel this way, day after day? I'm tired of it and tired of everything when I can't accomplish anything I actually want to..I feel so limited and it feels like I can't do anything about it because nothing is actually considered fair in this world. I feel too trapped for anything, yet I don't really care anymore..I'm just kind of done. Sick of it and everything else.

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Khaleesi.

just feeling kinda lonely i guess. :( i wake up and my mom's already gone to work... i come home at night and she's already gone to bed. kinda feeling like i'm living alone sometimes and i miss her :(

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spark in the night

I'm sorry to hear about your dads passing Kelso.

I'm sorta in a similiar situation with my dad being really sick, but not like a bed-ridden sick, thank god, we are ver fortunate for that. It's just where the tumor is its resting at the base of his spine so after a while certain pain meds don't work anymore/ inflamation causes the tumor to actually hit the nerves and he's in so much agony for like a week until his doctor can get him something different. Sometimes during a week like that I can't help but think "oh god this is it how can he possibly survive all of this fucking pain" its like the worst feeling that nothing can be done

I'm so sorry your dad has to endure that agony =/

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Dai.

This year has been a fucking bitch to me in just about every aspect of my life except for work. In all honesty, half the time I wish I didn't exist. I wish that I was air, or a plant, or simply nothing. I know, I know "it's all gonna be worth it someday", but what if it isn't? And I'm tired of waiting.

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Spike

This year has been a fucking bitch to me in just about every aspect of my life except for work. In all honesty, half the time I wish I didn't exist. I wish that I was air, or a plant, or simply nothing. I know, I know "it's all gonna be worth it someday", but what if it isn't? And I'm tired of waiting.

I empathise. And I know what you mean, "it'll be worth it someday" doesn't always cut it. I hate the thinking that the present is always some minor insignificant preamble to something else. At what point does that cease being the case?

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Emilie

sister ate my Gogurt :(

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Dai.

I empathise. And I know what you mean, "it'll be worth it someday" doesn't always cut it. I hate the thinking that the present is always some minor insignificant preamble to something else. At what point does that cease being the case?

At least you got someone who cares about you and loves you and wants to be with you - you are not as alone as me.

But we are doomed.

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