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Stuck in a room with other girls (strangers!)


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#1 Remy

 
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Posted 16 January 2013 - 12:13 PM

Hope this topic is ok in General Chat, I apologize if it's not. I just gotta vent. Have any of you ever been in this situation? You're going somewhere with your boyfriend, to meet a friend of his somewhere and the guy has a girlfriend, and while the guys are having fun all night you're stuck trying to talk to a girl you have nothing in common with except for both of us being female. It's sooo frustrating I could cry. Lol. I hate those situations so bad. What are you supposed to talk about, according to the guys? "Um, hi, nice to meet you. So um, I like your hair". Um, no. Do guys think all girls are the same and that we magically have something in common? Just dump us in a room together and we'll get along? No way, man. Any of you ever experience this? What did you do in that situation? Lol it's so fucking boring and frustrating.



#2 Vesper

 
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Posted 16 January 2013 - 12:18 PM

You could try and find out what you have in common and build on that. 

 

Surely this doesn't just apply to girls though? But to any new person you meet? 


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#3 Remy

 
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Posted 16 January 2013 - 12:20 PM

You could try and find out what you have in common and build on that. 

 

Surely this doesn't just apply to girls though? But to any new person you meet? 

 

Not really, because I'm talking about a specific situation. There are situations where I meet people through friends, people I want to meet (be it guys or girls), and then there's situations where our boyfriends (who are friends) want to hang out and leave you to get to know someone you have nothing whatsoever in common with except your sex (in my case, female, so yes it applies to girls here).



#4 Guest_RedStrokes_*

 
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Posted 16 January 2013 - 12:21 PM

I got nothing to say to this.

First of all your boyfriend is a douche, I read your last post, and to answer your question there, no by tecnicalility he did not rape you, but did sexually assualt you.

And second of all get some help honey.

Edited by GreenStrokes, 16 January 2013 - 12:21 PM.

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#5 Vesper

 
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Posted 16 January 2013 - 12:22 PM

Not really, because I'm talking about a specific situation. There are situations where I meet people through friends, people I want to meet (be it guys or girls), and then there's situations where our boyfriends (who are friends) want to hang out and leave you to get to know someone you have nothing whatsoever in common with except your sex (in my case, female, so yes it applies to girls here).

 

How do you know you have nothing in common 'til you ask? Isn't it worth at least trying? 



I got nothing to say to this.

First of all your boyfriend is a douche, I read your last post, and to answer your question there, no by tecnicalility he did not rape you, but did sexually assualt you.

And second of all get some help honey.

 

Does not apply to this thread. Please do not bring this up again. Attempting to actually let this thread get somewhere. 



#6 Remy

 
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Posted 16 January 2013 - 12:27 PM

I got nothing to say to this.

First of all your boyfriend is a douche, I read your last post, and to answer your question there, no by tecnicalility he did not rape you, but did sexually assualt you.

And second of all get some help honey.

 

And what does this have to do with a general topic like forced social situations? I appreciate your advice but please don't get my thread closed or moved.

 

Also, if you had nothing to say, I wonder why you had to reply.

 


 


How do you know you have nothing in common 'til you ask? Isn't it worth at least trying? 

 

 

 

Yes but sometimes you really don't and it gets sooo awkward. I just have a feeling that guys have the impression that girls can't get awkward with each other (socially), they just think we talk and talk and automatically hit it off with each other because we're all female. Not the case at all. Surely some of you can relate to this situation? I have been in it plenty of times.



#7 Vesper

 
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Posted 16 January 2013 - 12:28 PM

Yes but sometimes you really don't and it gets sooo awkward. I just have a feeling that guys have the impression that girls can't get awkward with each other (socially), they just think we talk and talk and automatically hit it off with each other because we're all female. Not the case at all. Surely some of you can relate to this situation? I have been it plenty of times.

 

No offensive, but your boyfriend is clearly really stupid if he thinks that just because you're a girl you'll automatically get along. 

 

As a general rule though, if I know I'm not going to have much in common with someone, I try to focus on their interests and see what I know about them, in order to create conversation. 



#8 Guest_RedStrokes_*

 
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Posted 16 January 2013 - 12:29 PM

 
And what does this have to do with a general topic like forced social situations? I appreciate your advice but please don't get my thread closed or moved.
 
Also, if you had nothing to say, I wonder why you had to reply.


Because I actually give a shit about you, but you know whatever, I'll remember not to care anymore. To answer your question here yeah I have actually experienced something like this too, it's very awkward but you just gotta roll with it, you know small talk,

#9 Remy

 
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Posted 16 January 2013 - 12:31 PM

No offensive, but your boyfriend is clearly really stupid if he thinks that just because you're a girl you'll automatically get along. 

 

As a general rule though, if I know I'm not going to have much in common with someone, I try to focus on their interests and see what I know about them, in order to create conversation. 

 

Yes, it's stupid to think that we automatically get along (especially since it's hard for me to get along with other girls in general), but I thought this happens all the time to people. I thought it's almost an everyday thing to be stuck in such a situation (both for guys and girls, actually).



Because I actually give a shit about you, but you know whatever,

 

O_o



#10 Malleus

 
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Posted 16 January 2013 - 12:32 PM

I have been in situations where I had to get along with my friend's girlfriends without my friends really being there. That was always awkward,  but I just used humor to make things less awkward. It's interesting when you can have a semi-cool conversation with someone you don't relate to at all.



#11 Remy

 
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Posted 16 January 2013 - 12:36 PM

I think it's weird that other girls who respond in this thread are surprised at this. I'm shocked. Because I can't even count how many fucking times it happens to me. Haven't you ever visited some friend of your boyfriend's and they leave you and the guy's girlfriend to talk amongst yourself? I thought it's one of the most common social situation ever, I'm actually kind of stunned if it happens only to me. But besides that, I'm surprised that girls in general in this forum seem to disagree with me on so many things females should agree on (my advice to you all on beauty, and what to talk about and what not to talk about). Not looking to start a debate around that, but I'm just surprised. Girls here must be really different from me (and my friends).



#12 November's Storms

 
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Posted 16 January 2013 - 12:40 PM

Such a thing has never really happened to me. I've never considered Norway to be a gender-conservative country. Why should the guys and girls automatically be seperated in your group? Where I'm from we all just hang out together.


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#13 Vesper

 
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Posted 16 January 2013 - 12:41 PM

I think it's weird that other girls who respond in this thread are surprised at this. I'm shocked. Because I can't even count how many fucking times it happens to me. Haven't you ever visited some friend of your boyfriend's and they leave you and the guy's girlfriend to talk amongst yourself? I thought it's one of the most common social situation ever, I'm actually kind of stunned if it happens only to me. But besides that, I'm surprised that girls in general in this forum seem to disagree with me on so many things females should agree on (my advice to you all on beauty, and what to talk about and what not to talk about). Not looking to start a debate around that, but I'm just surprised. Girls here must be really different from me (and my friends).

 

Guess they must. 

 

Not meaning to start a debate or anything, but people's opinions differ whether that be on beauty, make up, the female body, masturbation, sex or anything like that. Of course there's differing opinion to yours - that's just called life. 



Such a thing has never really happened to me. I've never considered Norway to be a gender-conservative country. Why should the guys and girls automatically be seperated in your group? Where I'm from we all just hang out together.

 

This as well. 



#14 Remy

 
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Posted 16 January 2013 - 12:43 PM

Such a thing has never really happened to me. I've never considered Norway to be a gender-conservative country. Why should the guys and girls automatically be seperated in your group? Where I'm from we all just hang out together.

 

It's not gender-conservative, this is about your boyfriend having a friend and they just leave you two to talk cause you are NOT friends and it's weird. (and most times that partner of a boyfriend's friend is another girl).



Guess they must. 

 

Not meaning to start a debate or anything, but people's opinions differ whether that be on beauty, make up, the female body, masturbation, sex or anything like that. Of course there's differing opinion to yours - that's just called life. 

 

Maybe if you let me back in the advice forum I could share some more positive opinions on those subjects than I did last time (I really want to).



#15 Vesper

 
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Posted 16 January 2013 - 12:43 PM

It's not gender-conservative, this is about your boyfriend having a friend and they just leave you two to talk cause you are NOT friends and it's weird. (and most times that partner of a boyfriend's friend is another girl).

 

Maybe if you let me back in the advice forum I could share some more positive opinions on those subjects than I did last time (I really want to).

 

You were banned for 24 hours two days ago. Part of that is also a month long ban from advice that I have no power to lift, so come back in a month. The topics will still be there. 



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#16 Remy

 
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Posted 16 January 2013 - 12:45 PM

You were banned for 24 hours two days ago. Part of that is also a month long ban from advice that I have no power to lift, so come back in a month. The topics will still be there. 

 

Not meaning to debate this in the thread, but you banned me because I asked for it (literally). Seems a little unfair to uphold the whole month thing (especially since my relationship is in disray and I need advice and help on it and I'm not allowed to discuss it elsewhere). Think you can make an exception and let me back in?



#17 Vesper

 
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Posted 16 January 2013 - 12:47 PM

Not meaning to debate this in the thread, but you banned me because I asked for it (literally). Seems a little unfair to uphold the whole month thing (especially since my relationship is in disray and I need advice and help on it and I'm not allowed to discuss it elsewhere). Think you can make an exception and let me back in?

 

 

You were banned for 24 hours two days ago. Part of that is also a month long ban from advice that I have no power to lift, so come back in a month. The topics will still be there. 


#18 November's Storms

 
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Posted 16 January 2013 - 12:47 PM

It's not gender-conservative, this is about your boyfriend having a friend and they just leave you two to talk cause you are NOT friends and it's weird. (and most times that partner of a boyfriend's friend is another girl).

 

But why does he insist on leaving you two together, why can't the 4 of you spend time together?



#19 Remy

 
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Posted 16 January 2013 - 12:50 PM

Lithunel, ever considerered that it would make it easier for me to make topics without getting them all locked and getting yelled at by other members for being in the wrong forum? But whatever. I'm done.

 


 


You fucking banned me on false premises and the very descriptions of my banning clearly state it ("you actually asked me to", even though you knew what I meant.



#20 Vesper

 
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Posted 16 January 2013 - 12:50 PM

Lithunel, ever considerered that it would make it easier for me to make topics without getting them all locked and getting yelled at by other members for being in the wrong forum? But whatever. I'm done.

 

You're not getting this, are you? I CANNOT lift the ban, physically my modly powers don't let me. Not because I have the option to, and choose not to. 



#21 November's Storms

 
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Posted 16 January 2013 - 12:53 PM

Lithunel, ever considerered that it would make it easier for me to make topics without getting them all locked and getting yelled at by other members for being in the wrong forum? But whatever. I'm done.

You fucking banned me on false premises and the very descriptions of my banning clearly state it ("you actually asked me to", even though you knew what I meant.

 

I'm trying to talk about your topic here and you are letting it go off topic by being abusive to mods. You will not win any friends or get any decent advice on this forum if you keep behaving this way. GDC is one of the  nicest and most helpful places I've ever seen, yet you have to treat others the way you want to be treated.


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#22 Remy

 
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Posted 16 January 2013 - 12:54 PM

I'll never forgive you for this. Fucking fake-ass ban just so I'd suffer for a month, not getting any help or advice.



I'm trying to talk about your topic here and you are letting it go off topic by being abusive to mods. You will not win any friends or get any decent advice on this forum if you keep behaving this way. GDC is one of the  nicest and most helpful places I've ever seen, yet you have to treat others the way you want to be treated.

 

Look up abusive in the dictionary first. I'm asking and debating.



#23 November's Storms

 
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Posted 16 January 2013 - 12:56 PM

Well then let's debate. Why not just ask your boyfriend could you guys all spend time together instead of separating? He should be okay if he knows how much you hate being alone with the other girl.


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#24 lizziebix

 
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Posted 16 January 2013 - 12:58 PM

I thought this topic was about finding common ground with a strange woman your bf left you with.  Why is your ban being discussed here?  Certainly not an on-topic conversation.  Sorry, Remy, but if it continues, this thread will have to close for being considered spam and not a viable thread.



#25 Remy

 
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Posted 16 January 2013 - 01:00 PM

Well then let's debate. Why not just ask your boyfriend could you guys all spend time together instead of separating? He should be okay if he knows how much you hate being alone with the other girl.

 

I could ask that,  but if what they want to do is just talk amongst themselves about guy things (and expect us to talk girl things) then I can't do much about it. It gets awkward to ask that.



I thought this topic was about finding common ground with a strange woman your bf left you with.  Why is your ban being discussed here?  Certainly not an on-topic conversation.  Sorry, Remy, but if it continues, this thread will have to close for being considered spam and not a viable thread.

 

I'm not going to continue debating it, but I was banned just for the hell of it (read my ban description) and I'm asking to have back access to a forum I need and none of you mods are responding to PM (like 5 of you). Maybe if you respected me enough as a human being to give me a yes or no it would never come up here.



#26 November's Storms

 
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Posted 16 January 2013 - 01:00 PM

I could ask that,  but if what they want to do is just talk amongst themselves about guy things (and expect us to talk girl things) then I can't do much about it. It gets awkward to ask that.


Do you think he and his friend talk about hunting, sports and chicks while you two talk about your hair and the latest fashion trends? I doubt that's how it goes. You should really talk to him about why he wants to separate himself from you when you obviously don't like it.



#27 Vesper

 
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Posted 16 January 2013 - 01:01 PM

I could ask that,  but if what they want to do is just talk amongst themselves about guy things (and expect us to talk girl things) then I can't do much about it. It gets awkward to ask that.

 

I'm not going to continue debating it, but I was banned just for the hell of it (read my ban description) and I'm asking to have back access to a forum I need and none of you mods are responding to PM (like 5 of you). Maybe if you respected me enough as a human being to give me a yes or no it would never come up here.

 

Yeah but you weren't. You were being abusive to members in the advice forum. That's why you were banned. 



#28 Trotsky

 
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Posted 16 January 2013 - 01:03 PM

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I could ask that,  but if what they want to do is just talk amongst themselves about guy things (and expect us to talk girl things) then I can't do much about it. It gets awkward to ask that.

 

What are girl things and guy things anyway? When my friends talk about football I don't know what they're talking about just cause I don't give a fuck. 

 

Short term solution: try to control the direction of the conversation. Failing that, drink. Drinking makes everyone less boring. 

Long term solution: break up with this guy if nothing you have with him seems to be working. 


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#29 Remy

 
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Posted 16 January 2013 - 01:03 PM

Yeah but you weren't. You were being abusive to members in the advice forum. That's why you were banned. 

 

...

 

Please. "You're going to get banned if you continue"

 

"Ok ban me if you want"

*banned*



#30 Justin

 
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Posted 16 January 2013 - 01:04 PM

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Look up abusive in the dictionary first. I'm asking and debating.

 

Abusive: Adjective. To be extremely offensive and insulting.

 

Your constant swearing and aggressive attitude can be deemed offensive and insulting. So yeah Stephen used the word correctly.

 

Just like a couple days ago, i tried to be constructive and helpful towards you twice rather than jumping on the band wagon of having a go at you. Yet you in your words told me to "fuck off" and called me a "bitch". People are here to help you, to advise and to listen. Yet there is a compromise here, you need to be respectful to others. 

The mods and staff work here for free, they don't get much gain from the work they do apart from the satisfaction of running a free social medium for everyone to use effectively as possible.

Consider that the next time you swear at one of them. I for one find it very offensive to read people swearing at the team, and no you're not the first person to do so, so i'm not singling you out.


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