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Feedback: Green Day Biography Part 2


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21 replies to this topic

#1
Jimmy

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Hey guys and gals of GDC, we're getting ready to put up the 2nd part of our 3 part band biography on GDA and Andres and I would like some feedback on the second part.

We plan on publishing this part on the home page of GDA next Tuesday. Read it and post here if there's anything we need to change, or give your suggestions on anything we could improve.

http://www.greendaya...y.php?section=2

Thanks!

bio2_group.jpg



#2
Sarcasm

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"Next part coming November 16th. Check back!". Might wanna fix that.


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#3
Giov

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Although they were received incredibly well by the general public, appearing almost constantly on MTV, various magazine covers, and on major tours such as the Woodstock revival, their success was not taken well by the Oakland punks who brought them to fame. Punk 'zines from all over the area labeled them "sell-outs" and they were put on Gilman Street's official black-list of bands that were never allowed to play. Billie Joe once snuck in to see another band play after Dookie's release and saw "Billie Joe must die" carved into the bathroom wall. Losing the community in which they had grown up hit the band hard, but they persevered and went on to enjoy the success of their first album as well as success in their personal lives.

 

I think you should mention the Woodstock incident and that Gilman Street doesn't allow major label bands to play there, to clear up both situations.

 

 

 

The Network, released an album entitled Money, Money, 20/20

 

"Money Money 2020"

 

 

Tre and Mike also got married shortly after Dookie's release to their first wives Lisa and Anastasia, respectively.

 

Lisa or Lisea? In Tre's Biography on GDA is Lisea, I have no idea which one is wrong!



#4
Pieces of Truth

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It's weird when you talk about them being allowed to play at Gilman in 2003 and then go on about the recording of Warning beginning with"With these feels in their mind" what makes it look like they felt that way/were influenced because they got to play a gig there.

I don't know. 



#5
Todd

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Green Day didn't record the Longview video in their home. They hadn't lived there in a while, and they just kinda walked in and shot it. You might want to research that more and fix it

Dookie has sold way more than 10 million copies,
I think it's 14 million

"Accompanied by the Pansy Division"

Do we need "the" there?

Maybe add how on Nimrod, the lyrics were forced and the band wasn't at it's most creative time, so they had to bring out older songs, like Good Riddance and Haushinka

Even though Jason Relva was their first drummer, it was very brief and some of the less hardcore fans might get confused. I would just say JAR is about a close friend

Drop the two commas and the slash in Money, Money, 20/20

#6
frunsi

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Green Day didn't record the Longview video in their home. They hadn't lived there in a while, and they just kinda walked in and shot it. You might want to research that more and fix it

Dookie has sold way more than 10 million copies,
I think it's 14 million

"Accompanied by the Pansy Division"

Do we need "the" there?

Maybe add how on Nimrod, the lyrics were forced and the band wasn't at it's most creative time, so they had to bring out older songs, like Good Riddance and Haushinka

Even though Jason Relva was their first drummer, it was very brief and some of the less hardcore fans might get confused. I would just say JAR is about a close friend

Drop the two commas and the slash in Money, Money, 20/20

dookie has sold 16 million copies.

 

i certainly disagree with the nimrod statement you made. i think it was their most creative time. how else would they come up with songs like espionage, last ride in, take back or hitchin a ride, which sound exactly how green day doesn't sound. and how are the lyrics forced?

 


#7
Todd

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dookie has sold 16 million copies.

 

i certainly disagree with the nimrod statement you made. i think it was their most creative time. how else would they come up with songs like espionage, last ride in, take back or hitchin a ride, which sound exactly how green day doesn't sound. and how are the lyrics forced?

 

 

In Quatro, Billie explained how Nimrod was a lyrical disaster, and he had to write lyrics in the studio and he hated it and he'll never do that again



#8
Makeout One

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dookie has sold 16 million copies.

 

i certainly disagree with the nimrod statement you made. i think it was their most creative time. how else would they come up with songs like espionage, last ride in, take back or hitchin a ride, which sound exactly how green day doesn't sound. and how are the lyrics forced?

 

 

 

Nope, 17 million copies.



#9
Fuzz

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Sources on the album sales?



#10
frunsi

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http://en.wikipedia....Day_discography



#11
Trina

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"and on major tours such as the Woodstock revival" - Maybe change this as they only played the one date, didn't they? Something like, 'the (whatever)thousand attending, huge pay-per-view event, Woodstock 1994 (or 2 or whatever it was :P).

 

"not taken well by the Oakland punks who brought them to fame" - I think it'd be more on-point to say the East Bay or maybe Berkeley punks? Not sure 'brought to fame' is the right phrase either, idk..

 

"Pansy Division as a nod to the Gilman scene who had rejected them" - I would get rid of the bold part, personally or else say something like, 'as a nod to their roots in the Gilman scene'. The way it is now could kinda imply they took Pansy Division on tour as a fuck you to Gilman or something.

 

"The culmination of the Southern California music scene welcoming " - Is it not Northern Cali?

 

"..did not have the same devotion to music as they had a decade ago. " This sentence seems a bit off to me.. Took a few reads to understand. Maybe change "music" to "the scene"? I think it could fit better.

 

I know the award thing fits well but it's from 2001 and you're using it as a point to how that changed things for Warning in 2000. Maybe it'd be better to rephrase it like:

 "The Northern California music scene was embracing Green Day again. (The culmination of this was certainly Green Day being awarded with eight "Bammies" at the California Music Awards in 2001.) . Being welcomed back into their community of origin provided both a sense of serenity and disarray, for the fans that had made them had retired their hardened punk values and did not have the same devotion to the scene as they had a decade ago."

Except with better grammar and flow, etc! I think it just needs to be made more of a side note if that makes sense?

 

Did Warning not get somewhat positive critic reviews for the most part? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Warning_(Green_Day_album)#Critical_response

 

I think Maria may have been a b-side to a Warning single (but they did re-record it I think) and JAR was definitely released on some movie soundtrack in the mid-90's so I'm not sure it's right to call them unreleased?

 

I agree it's probably better to label JAR as a close friend and maybe just mention in brackets he drummed with them for a little while.

 

I would maybe describe The Network a little more.

 

"What happened next, however, propelled back into the mainstream in ways no one expected. " You need to add in them/the band between propelled and back.


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#12
Vesper

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"when it came time to mixing" doesn't really make sense
 
"new albeit unlikely heroes..." needs to be "new, albeit unlikely, heroes..."
 
"mourning rock scene; this..." ---> "mourning rock scene. This," 
 
"never allowed to play" should have "at the venue again" on the end of it. Sounds as if Gilman banned them from playing anywhere!
 
"but they persevered and went on to enjoy the success of their first album as well as success in their personal lives..." Possibly split this. Leave "but they preserved" where it is and say "As well as career success they enjoyed success in their personal lives..." to introduce the next paragraph. 
 
The dash after Insomniac should either be a comma or a semi-colon. 
 
"and released" should possibly be "releasing" because the rest of the sentence is written in the present tense. 
 
"community of origin" - possibly reword, sounds kinda odd. 
 
"remain stagnant" or to become stagnant? 
 
 
Just a few thoughts and grammar ideas! 

#13
StuckWithInsomnia

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http://www.metacriti...r-options=music

 

Warning got fairly good reviews, better than 21st Century Breakdown and the trilogy



#14
musso_kn

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Another grammer niggle but, "Snuck in to see another band" sounds too informal. It may be slightly more long winded, but I think it would be better to say something along the lines of, "Billie Joe somehow managed to enter unnoticed to see another band".



#15
alaniluau

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"The culmination of the Southern California music scene welcoming " - Is it not Northern Cali?

 

Definitely fix this. We ain't LA! 

 

I also think the Network deserves a more thorough explanation. Green Day was in a commercial lull with Warning and Pop Disaster, and suddenly this freaky new wave sextet emerged whose members bore a striking resemblance to our east bay boys! I'd also use a sentence or two to elucidate what a "never-confirmed side project" means. The relationship between Green Day and the Network has been a tumultuous affair that would be worth explaining.

 

I realize the goal of the biography isn't to showcase perfect grammar, but names of albums should technically be italicized.  

 

"It has been said that Bob Dylan's 1964 album Bringing It All Back Home, with its folksy protest songs[,] was a major source of inspiration for Billie Joe during the writing of this album."

 

^A comma is needed in this situation because "with its folksy protest songs" is a parenthetical element.

 

While I understand the need to trim down on the details, a line or so describing the 1994 performance at Madison Square Garden would be relevant. The band had finally reached the point where they were playing at this huge, respected venue, and they naturally decided to make it a...memorable occasion. 

 

"Warning was released on October 3, 2000 to low success with fans and critics."

 

^Claiming that Warning was not well received by fans is a difficult argument to make because it's based purely on anecdotal evidence. For what it's worth, the general consensus among current fans is that Warning is one of the highlights of the Green Day canon. 



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#16
WhiteTim

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^Claiming that Warning was not well received by fans is a difficult argument to make because it's based purely on anecdotal evidence. For what it's worth, the general consensus among current fans is that Warning is one of the highlights of the Green Day canon. 


Warning wasnt well recieved for alot of GD fans when it first came out it took a while i remember that time alot of fans were saying it was horrible etc now it's considered a highlight but it took a while for fans to digest it which alot of great albums do

#17
Lauren

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Shouldn't you guys be including sources? I always like biographies to link to another article or at least reference a documentary, so I can read/see it myself. (not that I don't believe you, but I think you should include sources).



#18
Jean

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Right before the album's release, Kurt Cobain tragically committed suicide and with this came the disintegration of the grunge scene. When Dookie was released on February 1, 1994, its initial pressing sold out, and this reflects the role that Green Day was destined to play in the musical community. They became the new albeit unlikely heroes for a mourning rock scene; this coupled with catchy songs that translated well from college to pop radio contributed to what would become one of the biggest albums of the decade with ten million copies sold to date.

 

Kurt Cobain died on April 5th. After Dookie was released. Source: Wikipedia.


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#19
alaniluau

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Shouldn't you guys be including sources? I always like biographies to link to another article or at least reference a documentary, so I can read/see it myself. (not that I don't believe you, but I think you should include sources).

I thought of this too, especially in regard to Mike's comment about Good Riddance being the punkest move they could pull at the time. At the very least, it would be beneficial to include a source in a signal phrase, i.e. "Mike Dirnt expressed in a 1997 interview with Rolling Stone that..."



#20
Todd

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Who writes these things for GDA?



#21
missminority182

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other than the few minor tweeking it needs i thinks its accurate for the most part and i enjoyed reading it :)



#22
Fuzz

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Thanks for the feedback everyone. Jimmy has made some corrections to the bio and we'll be publishing it very soon.

 

Who writes these things for GDA?

Bio was written by Boston.


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