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2 hours ago, wood said:

 

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^ Me rn tbh

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I dream of the day that I don't sit at my desk reading all of Facebook 14 times in a row and answering approximately one phone call every two hours.

Reception work is not for me, yet here I am.

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WELL, I'm back to feeling like an incompetent piece of crap at my job again :lol: This is significantly harder/more work than my previous position. 

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I actually love my job, my coworkers, and the fact that the work I do actually get noticed and my boss wants to give me more challenges and responsibilities. Everyday I feel like I'm learning something at work which is really nice. But I might have to leave in a little over a month in order to move to New York and complete my education. With any other job I wouldn't hesitate to leave in a heartbeat. I wish there was an easy solution..

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In a few months when I move in with my fiance, I'm gonna have to transfer to one of our stores in York. I almost don't wanna do that because I get along so well with everyone that works in my current store, it's almost like one big family, and I'm afraid that when I move to the new store it's gonna be different and it won't be as friendly and inviting.

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On 13/06/2018 at 6:03 PM, Mar said:

Yikes.

Spoiled because it's long and y'all don't care but I need to vent.

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I'm trying, I really am, but lately it seems like all I've been doing is trying to fix my mistakes, and I just change them into different mistakes, and then I'm just slow. I am getting better, but I'm still slow and I'm still making mistakes. This is obviously pissing off my, idek if I'd call her my supervisor, but she trained me. I walk in today (as she's leaving, since I work mostly evenings and she's mornings), and I'm instantly berated. YOU TELL ME YOU UNDERSTOOD THIS AND YOU DIDN'T 

Me: *Tries to explain that I listened but I misunderstood the clarification*

DON'T START CRYING OR APOLOGIZING (two bad stress habits of mine) I DON'T CARE YOU MAY HAVE EVERYONE ELSE FOOLED WITH YOUR EXCUSES BUT I DON'T CARE, YOU'RE LYING, NOBODY ELSE IS DOING THEIR WORK AND I'M 40 YEARS OLD AND I'M TIRED OF THIS AND NOBODY'S LISTENING AND DOING THEIR JOBS --

Me: *Trying to defend myself, realizing it's moot because she will not let me do so*

AND ANOTHER THING, WHY ARE YOU ONLY DOING PART OF THIS JOB?

Me: My other trainer told me to only do one of the three steps on the sheet and that's what I've been doing for my ~45 days here so it's not like I started skipping it --

NO, HE MUST'VE JUST WANTED YOU TO DO THAT WHILE TRAINING, YOU ~GET UP ON THE STEP LADDER~ (said in a tone that implied, "You lazy fuck, you're purposefully not doing this because you're a lazy fatass," even though I use the step ladder for the main duties of my job ... she hinted to me the day she met me that she'd rather not have someone with my asthma and slowness doing this job ... blame higher ups who hired me!) AND DO ALL THE STEPS ON THE PAPER 

Me: OK, I didn't know that, I'm sor --

NO, NO, I'M DONE

Me, as I'm giving boxes to the shipping company for the day (which showed up earlier than they're supposed to, also pissing her off, but I'm just doing my work and she's simultaneously sarcastically speaking to me as I'm getting flustered trying to move the flatbeds and pallets because of said berating) ... "OK, anyway, I have to work for you on Sunday, and I never leaned how to do a part of the job that I need to do (that she should have taught me during training but never did) --"

YOU'RE WORKING A MORNING?!?!?! (Um, yeah, there's only so many people that can cover for you when you request a day off) WELL YOU'LL HAVE TO ASK THE LEADER THAT DAY (Again, this is something that she should've taught me and I'm honestly not sure the leaders will know how to do it ... so when I don't do it/do it wrong on Sunday, she'll flip worse than she did today after only discovering the shift!)

Me: OK, well, I guess go talk to other people about my mistakes -- 

OH, I HAVE, I'VE GONE TO PERSON A, PERSON B, PERSON C, I DON'T CARE HOW I SOUND (Translation: Watch your back, you lazy bitch)

... And she leaves. And I'm tears. Again. Because I'm weak and can't handle confrontation and get easily stressed. And now I'm being called a liar and lazy. I am trying my hardest, you guys, I really am. Those of you who know me know that I may not be the most motivated, but I honestly am trying and I'm not skipping stuff because I don't ~want to~ ... like, I'm a sweaty mess no matter what I do, so why slack off? I know I'm struggling with some of the duties and physically I'm struggling, but I'm trying to get better and, well, her meltdown told me I'm not the only one who's not meeting her expectations.

Then the HR manager comes to the back and sees I'm upset, but I try to not engage because I don't want to take this any farther because I'm afraid of being considered a tattletale and, oh, I assume she's getting me fired, so why bother? So I just tell him "She won't let me explain myself and I'm trying to remedy my mistakes but I keep making them and she doesn't believe that these are mistakes and I'm getting conflicting information on my duties, please do not speak to her because she already thinks I'm a whiny crybaby, just please know that I am trying and I will now do what she asks now that I clearly know my mistakes" and he says OK.

In the meantime, I got confirmation from my other trainer that indeed, he only does the one step as he indeed taught me. So I wasn't crazy when he told me this, and I wish I would have thought, when she was yelling at me, that I could've shown her his reports as proof that it wasn't just me (and he's been there longer than me, so how he hadn't been broken of this supposedly incorrect way of doing things, idk), so, yay, conflicting information from my trainers.

Later, the leader that night says she wants to talk to me ... I'm assuming my trainer got me fired, and I kind of dropped the ball on this leader the other night, so I figured she hates me and it would make sense. Instead, it was "I know HR said you don't want your trainer to be talked to but I'm going to because you should not have been talked to like that" (I now think the leader overheard her yelling at me, when I thought she left the backroom prior), I didn't realize this was the way to do things either, I'm sorry I pushed you into what caused you problems, just take your time, tell me your confusion about this (she couldn't answer the conflicting trainer questions either, so that's reassuring), etc.

This gave me a little bit of relief that I wasn't necessarily thinking she was being harsh. But God, what if she retaliates more, or just continues yelling at me more? Or does manage to get the higher-ups (who have been nice to me thus far and seem GLAD when I ask questions and get clarifications) to can me? I actually like my job, I like working and regardless of what she thinks, I am getting up on the ladders, I am trying to move faster, I am getting more comfortable with the interfaces. Maybe your problem isn't with your workers, but the amount of work we're expected to do (note the WE ... as you said, everyone's doing this), and I get that it's frustrating. I'd be frustrated with me! But I cannot deal with being called a liar or insinuations that I just screw around my entire shift and I don't think that fixing mistakes is done through berating. And while I am getting better, ffs I'm still technically on my probationary period! My two training shifts with you may be done, but I'm still allowed to learn. So she may get me kicked out on my 90th day, but in the meantime, I'm just gonna try fixing my mistakes, getting clarification on exactly which trainer I should listen to, working faster (and I didn't finish all of the complete things I apparently should've been doing, so she'll have a fit tomorrow, but the leader sounded appreciative of what I did so idk) and not panicking/crying.

 

Oh, did I mention who is now another person who is doing my job at the store? HER DAUGHTER. So I'm competing against her family, who she would want to get more hours, and who she probably bosses around and, I believe, fully trained her. I know that sounds conspiracy theorist but her anger has really ramped up since the daughter started working a couple weeks ago (OH, and I had to clean up this daughter's mistakes one night ... I wasn't trying to get her in trouble but in asking a question about work to be done, I inadvertently alerted the leader to her not doing something she should've done, so her mom may hold that against me), and now that they're working together a lot of days, they tag-team and get EVERYTHING done like superwomen. I try to keep in mind what my boss said on one of my first days, "Don't try to keep up with her, no one can keep up with her!" But it's hard to remember that when she demands everyone keep up with her perfection.

 

I wish I could just be instantly good at this like it seems she was. I am just unable to do things right and while I know she was out of line, I'm struggling not to feel bad about it, and I definitely am now scared shitless to come into work every day, lest she yells at me.

 

 

 

:( she sounds like an arse

What is it about supermarkets that draws assholes into working for them? You know what, it's cause she had other dreams in life and she's realising she's 40 and hasn't changed jobs since high school. And now she's working with you, someone much younger. She's bitter. 

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I had to deal with a really creepy photographer today.

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On 6/13/2018 at 10:33 AM, Dai. said:

Mar, that sounds awful, I'm sorry :/

I've never been talked to like that in any job, I think, although my last boss had a shitty way of telling me things sometimes. What happened to you is not normal. I was a first-time waitress once and on a very busy Friday night, I dropped a large tray full of plates, glasses etc. Even then I wasn't treated badly. What I am trying to get at, is maybe, if it looks like "this is how it's gonna be" at this job, you could just look around for new opportunities, no? While you continue to do your current job and trying your best to avoid these situations, so then you avoid the stress of looking for a job when you don't have one already (which is much worse imo). Are you content with this job itself? Are you open to start a new learning process so soon?

 

10 hours ago, Emilie said:

 

:( she sounds like an arse

What is it about supermarkets that draws assholes into working for them? You know what, it's cause she had other dreams in life and she's realising she's 40 and hasn't changed jobs since high school. And now she's working with you, someone much younger. She's bitter. 

Thanks, guys. I'm not sure where I stand tbh. I'm still not completing every duty expected, but I am making fewer mistakes, and I volunteered Sunday to cover for a call-in (that was a little rough, the standard retail hell: I closed Saturday night, came in at 7:15 a.m. Sunday and stayed until 6:30 p.m. in 100-degree heat, but I survived!), so I hope that showed my willingness. She's now just leaving passive-aggressive Post-It quotes and isn't talking to me, but at least I'm not being screamed at. idk, I'm just gonna keep working hard, keep being personable, etc. We'll see what happens ~Aug. 4 when the probationary period ends!

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