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My Life

Elena

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So this was the second song I posted in WIMHA:

My Life

I am screaming

Just look at my heart's

Too fast beating

Never dreaming

Cos I never get

The chance to sleep

I'm an insomniac

Lying

That I have

No depression

And a perfect life

I am freezing

While my heart

Is bleeding so much

Never seeing

What I should see

-all the positive things in life

I'm an insomniac

Lying

That I have

No depression

And a perfect life

I know I should forget

About this

But I can't

Still I'm lying

That I have

No depression

And a perfect life

Or is it maybe true

And I'm just too blind

to see that?

I called it My Life but I might change that name, cos almost every song is about my life xD

That song is about Depression and Insomnia...

When I wrote that song I was depressed and couldn't think about anything else than that my life sucks, but I didn't tell anyone cos I was afraid of their reactions or that they'd worry about me. That's why I always said that I'm okay. The line "Still I'm lying that I have no depression and a perfect life or is it maybe true and I'm just too blind to see that?" explains that and that I maybe just don't look close enough myself. Maybe I've had this great life but was too ignorant to enjoy it and made everything bad. Maybe I was just too pessimistic. After all I've had a great family and great friends who were always there for me and I probably had it better than a lot of other kids. The lines "Never seeing what I should see - all the positive things in life" also show that. But I just couldn't change my feelings and at some point I became so depressed that I couldn't even sleep anymore. It took me hours to fall asleep and when I finally slept I woke up several times at night and/or had nightmares (most of the time I don't remember anything from the night but when I remember anything it are nightmares).

The first lines of the song "I am screaming just look at my heart's too fast beating" mean that I've cried a lot, but usually just inside, but you were able to see it if you just look at how nervous I was sometimes (or simply looked at my face a bit more precisely). Back then I was either totally nervous for whatever reason or was just totally numb.

Now - about 9 months later - I guess that all became worse, but that's another story and I'll probably write about that when I write about another song.



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TheJesusOfSuburbiaIsALie

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It's a wonderful song, Elena :) It's very relatable as well too!

I'm sorry! :hug: I hope things become alright soon :hug:

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It's a wonderful song, Elena :) It's very relatable as well too!

I'm sorry! :hug: I hope things become alright soon :hug:

thank you :hug:

i hope that, too, thanks :hug:

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