It's such a shit feeling when an artist you admire dies. It's this weird state of mourning, where you didn't really know the person, but at the same time, you did. You knew their art, their music, you knew what they were like on the other side of a camera lens, you've fallen asleep to their voice.
And now they're just... gone. It's hard to comprehend how real it is, because for me the change isn't discernible or immediate.
But fuck does it hurt anyway. I haven't stopped listening to his music since I heard, and I keep crying at random times. It's unfair, so goddamn unfair that he could help me and so many others to pull through, but we couldn't do the same for him.
My reflection is cast on the closing elevator door
Looking worn out but, even like this
The reason why I still blink my eyes and breathe
Is it for me or am I chased?
Tell me honestly, you're feeling so lonely
Tell me honestly, you know you can't go on like this
How long have you been alone?
It's awkward to meet my own eyes in the mirror
For me, for me, for me
Rest in peace Jonghyun. Your music has and will continue to help and inspire me, you seemed like a wonderful person, and I'm so fucking sorry you had to go through so much pain. The world has lost a great musician; your memory will live on.
Onwards, I suppose, for the rest of us.
Moods: that weird state of mourning