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Lady Darkling

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I sit on my knees and I grasp at the flesh of my palms. My nails sink into the soft mold of skin and meat, no pain. I am swelling, filling up with warm, pounding blood, plump as the ripest plum, ready to burst and paint the intricate fur of the rug underneath with the juice in my veins. At the same time, my pudgy body is sinking, melting into a puddle of human goo, indistinguishable. My nails are growing at an alarming rate, weaving through my palms and into my arms and beyond, building their own root system throughout me. I wonder if they will eventually come back out and repeat until I am so wrapped up in myself that I just lose. The fur underneath tickles my legs and rubs against the coarse hair that grows there. Could I be made into a rug? All my hair, taken along when I am skinned, and carefully cleaned and processed and softened and colored and preened. Someone else sits on the rug that is me.

I am soft. Oh so soft on the outside; I cannot be touched without being ruined, but on the inside grows diamonds. My diamond heart reaching up for my diamond brain but never reaching. Magma flowing through my hollow veins and coating it all. Growing thinner in skin and thicker inside. What am I? Dead? Alive? A human? A rug? The sitter? The seat? Plum? Diamond?

I am me, and me means nothing because it is all the words you attach to it. I have too many words attached to me, I don’t know which ones are real anymore. Who am I? Everything I ever wanted? All I never wanted?

I am null, because I am both. Invalid.

 

Stay Dirty

-Pari



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Miss seeing you around! You haven't posted on instagram since october!!! What's new?

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40 minutes ago, Todd said:

Miss seeing you around! You haven't posted on instagram since october!!! What's new?

Not much; finished high school, getting ready for college, writing and working. I think I've mostly given up on social media tbh I was never good at keeping up with that shit, I'll post something if there's anything interesting to post but otherwise meh. How are you doing?

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7 minutes ago, Lady Darkling said:

Not much; finished high school, getting ready for college, writing and working. I think I've mostly given up on social media tbh I was never good at keeping up with that shit, I'll post something if there's anything interesting to post but otherwise meh. How are you doing?

Nice! Where are you going to college? Oh wait, this is the internet, I won't ask that :lol: I'm doing good. Working a lot, I think I'm gonna quit one of my jobs tomorrow. Nervous because I've never quit a job before :P Then it's back to college in September for me. 

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6 minutes ago, Todd said:

Nice! Where are you going to college? Oh wait, this is the internet, I won't ask that :lol: I'm doing good. Working a lot, I think I'm gonna quit one of my jobs tomorrow. Nervous because I've never quit a job before :P Then it's back to college in September for me. 

There isn't anything to be nervous about fam, don't worry. It sounds way harder than it actually is, like half of my friends quit some jobs recently and it was a really casual thing. Good luck tho :)

 

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