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Occupy Reality

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Still Here

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Trotsky

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about someone I knew in high school and for everyone struggling with mental health problems

 

Still Here

Monday to Friday, crossing paths in the hallway
I went my way, you went your way like always
We weren't really friends, we weren't aware
How much of a mutual struggle we shared
Like how it feels to break when you can't bend
How much shit you can take before you pray for an end
But no one's answering prayers, there's no god out there
Can't find someone to talk to if nobody cares

And even if there's someone who will listen, you're scared
Criticized all your life, but still so unprepared
To hear them trivialize what they could never relate to
Fuck it, why bother, they already hate you
Life is a labyrinth that we make our way through
Sometimes you just need something to sedate you

Friday afternoons at school, the last bell would ring
Friday nights, getting fucked up, we each had our thing
I was popping narcotics and you were binge drinkin'
To escape from the world, like a ship that's sinkin'
Monday mornings back at school, breathin' and blinkin'
But not truly alive, so much time spent thinkin'
Our minds derailing, a spectacular train wreck
Our dreams put on hold, we gave them a raincheck
My grades were declining, you were throwing up meals
We both cut up our thighs so the wounds were concealed
Attention not wanted, won’t say how I feel
Giving up any hope that we would ever heal

Years after our teens, we were chatting online
You told me your story, and I told you mine
It's not as if everything was suddenly fine
No one’s reborn, but some things you can redesign
We’ve come a long way shedding self-hatred and fear
We were beat down and broken, but we’re still here

 


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