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Storytime: The time 21 done fucked up

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21guns&novacaine

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Last night was like any other night - I stayed up later than I should working on a drawing, then I played The Last of Us. Well, sometime around 11:30, I decided to head downstairs and get a glass of water. Well, I took a tad too long and turned around to discover my Dad had gotten up to put more pellets in the wood stove. Well, I didnt want to scare the shit out of him by making my presence known since he's jumpy and clearly wouldn't be expecting to see anyone in the dark kitchen, because me and my brother rarely get up and go to the kitchen. So to spare him, I slipped out into the laundry room. Let me fill you in quickly on why I realized this is a problem...

The laundry room is also the enclosed porch, with a light that shines out outside if you want to get a look at things. I didnt realize until I was out there that there was a 75% chance of him coming out there to flip on the light and check the weathe outside, since we were also havign a blizzard at the time. Not uncommon for him to do this when he's up in the middle of the night. Even more problems, there's absolutely nowhere to hide in the laundry room, and if I got caught in there, I'd be suspcious as all hell and would get in trouble. 

Sooo... Lucky me, I was already dressed from head to toe in black pajamas with a black hoodie, so I suck up in the darkest corner, praying he doesnt come out there. 

I hear him come into the kitchen and get a drink... And then he does what I was not expecting, and defintely threw a wrench into my sneaky plan of getting back to my room on the second floor. He goes to the living room, sits on the couch, and watches TV for an hour at a very low volume. So any creaking floorboards will be very obvious. Also, let me illuminate another major problem: I live in a 110 year-old farmhouse, so the floors creak and squeal with every step, making being sneaky a ton harder.

Getting to the stairs from the laundry room shouldn't be such a chore, right? To make matters worse, the living room is situated directly in front of the laundry room, seperated by a large room with the computer and fireplace in it. This is the room with the creaky boards and the only thing (hopefully) blocking his view of me is the other couch in front of him. So after fourty five minutes of waiting for him to go back to bed,  I finally decide screw it, I'll try my luck.

So I get on my hands and knees and am crawling as absolutely slow and quietly as I can, just to squeeze out of sight. I did eventually get there, heart racing in a panic. 

Then I realized that all that turmoil was nothing compared to what was ahead of me. The stairs leading up to my room are the squeakiest damn things in the house, and they only creak louder when you're trying to be quiet and stealthy. 

So I hung out for another 20 minutes, unsure if he'd gone to bed, practically lifting myself up the stairs by pushing back against the walls on either side of the stairs to skip the squeakest ones. 

And at last! I made it back to my room one hour later with zero motivation to continue what Id been working on. :P 

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Trotsky

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lol, I've stealthily gone really slow through the house before but usually cause it was I was sneaking out or in and as a teenager or because I was high off my balls and my parents would notice. though in your situation I would have just said "hi, dad" quietly and probably it wouldn't be too shocking

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