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Being Bryony

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A Massive Blog Of Theatrical Rambling



Okay, here we go.

Last night I went to see Les Miserables (as some of you who stalk the single's thread might well know) and I thought it was beyond incredible. It got me thinking about myself, as things like that often do. I sometimes wonder why I didn't go into theatre or music - I feel so out of place. Then I convince myself that I'm not talented enough to even think about doing something like that. Anyway, that's an entirely different story, but what I was thinking about was the power music and story has to change peoples lives...

This is a Green Day fan site, so regardless of whether this is still true, at some point I assume you joined because you had more than a passing interest in the band and their music. This like/love was enough to make you want to connect with other fans who felt like you and this brings to my first point - music has the power to unite, the power to make you feel like you belong. I think this links to the fact that, regardless of what the general comments on this period in your life can be like; high school can be fucking hard. As teenagers and young adults, I feel like we're constantly craving to somewhere where we feel like we can fit in - hopefully this is a place that provides that. Anyway, enough about GDC, back to music...

For me music is about passion - I wrote in my diary about a year ago that I love passionate people, and I believe this is why I fall into my interests so deeply, as in music. Whether it be rock; seeing Billie Joe on stage crying as he sings 'Wake Me Up When September Ends' or roaring as he rampages through 'St Jimmy'; or rap, because regardless of whether you like it or not, some of it does have intense passion behind it. I think this is why Eminem has done so well - whether it's negative or positive passion is up for you to decide. Then you move through to orchestral and classical, some of you may listen to it, some of you might not. I for one do, and I don't feel any shame or music "guilt" as it were for saying so. Aside, I don't believe it's healthy to cut yourself off from any cultural aspect purely because you feel like you "shouldn't" or it doesn't fit in with your genre. I did that for a few years between about 13-6 and then realised that I was missing out on so many beautiful things because of how I was pigeonholing myself.

Anyway, to get to the point of this blog entry; when I hear certain things, or see certain things, I literally feel as if I have a fire in my blood. I'm not sure whether this makes me totally mad, or just means I feel things at a very intense level. I've tried to explain how I feel sometimes to my friends and their reaction seems muted to the experience we've just had. I'm not sure what I'm expecting... maybe I live in a fairy tale. This happened to me last night, after exciting the cinema I felt elated, the music was spinning around my head, the images in front of my eyes and maybe I was expecting Marius to come down the street and treat me like Cosette (although I prefer Eponine). Then reality happens, and it sucks.

This feeling is like a drug, it's adrenaline mixed with fairy tales and I have to wonder whether there is a more toxic mixture anywhere. It's addictive; makes you feel invincible for the few hours you experience it, makes you feel as if you could walk on the moon with your lover on your arm. I suppose the reaction to this would be "get real" but I have to ask, if you're not harming anyone, what's the danger from feeling this way about certain things? Maybe it's similar to falling in love...

I find nothing sexier than passion and conviction. If someone can immerse themselves in something fully and truly care for it then I find it incredibly attractive. Apathy turns me off instantly - get excited for chrissake!

Anyway, I could ramble on this way for a very long time. I just felt like writing it down....



P.S - Sorry for any grammar or spelling mistakes, I was writing this as it tumbled out of my head and I don't want to edit that. :P


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