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The Gentleman 2.0

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Back in the summer I wrote a poem called 'The Gentleman', for which I was given some very interesting feedback which even made me view my own writing and the original meaning and intent behind it differently. It's remained one of my favourites ever since. I have, over the course of the last 6 months, made the odd tweak, changed some lines here and there until, while around 70% of it is the same, the changes have refocused it, and made it quite a different poem. The changes have brought it more into alignment with the meaning I originally intended for the piece, but taking on board said feedback, I made an effort to keep it...illusory, so the character described reflects the reader's personality more than anything, which, for me, is what the character described should do.

I'm reposting primarily because, as a reflection of my belief that no art should be consigned to one format in an age where creation and sharing is a multi-platform thing, I will be shooting a cinematic video with the poem read out over it in coming weeks. I'd love to hear what folks think of the words before anything visual is involved. Analyse, abuse, comment, criticise. Fuck it. have a cake. Just enjoy, I hope.

The Gentleman

He bore himself with utmost pride

While walking through the streets at night,

Drawn to those who came to confide

Their natures, called by his invite;

Blue eyes that calmed and fostered hate

And lips of ruby set in stone

He’d whisper plans to actuate

That he would never be unknown

Moving on with elegant grace

His footsteps quick, his gaze alight

Until he came upon a place

Where he was greeted with delight;

There he’d offer unto his guests

Wine and every means to pleasure

And while they indulged he would wrest

Their souls from them at his leisure

Yet his manner is not vicious

Nor could it be said he were rude;

To some he may seem pernicious,

But he would never dare intrude

Upon a stranger to his ways

To them he is a noble gent;

Of flawless style and smooth phrase

Who they are glad that they once met

Here is the original text:

The Gentleman

He bore himself with upmost pride

While stalking through the streets at night

Drawing up to those cast aside

Promising to help with their plight;

With eyes that calmed and fostered hate

And lips of ruby set in stone

He’d whisper plans to actuate

That he would never be unknown

Moving on with elegant grace

He would remain out of true sight

Until he came upon a place

Where he was greeted with delight

There he’d offer unto his guests

Wine, women and every pleasure

And while they indulged he would wrest

Their souls from them at his leisure

He could never be called vicious

Nor a claim made that he were rude

Certainly he’s not seditious

For it would grieve him to intrude

Upon a stranger to his ways

To them he is a noble gent;

Of flawless style and smooth phrase

Who they are glad that they once met


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2 Comments

Posted · Report

Very cool poem! Nice use of adjectives, I could clearly picture this 'gentlemen' in all his glory. I really liked this part 'Then while they indulged he would wrest
Their souls from them at his leisure'
It sent shivers down my spine!! The only thing I might change would be the length of the stanzas; instead of havig them 8 lines each, consider changing it to 4 just because of the rhyming scheme and all...it might be easier to follow this way.

Altogether, nice work!! :)

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Posted · Report

Thank you so much for reading it, sorry it's taken a while to say it! I'll keep it at 8 lines for now because of the way it sounds spoken, as it is intended, and unless I change the structure, splitting the stanzas would interrupt the sentences.

I'm glad you enjoyed it though.

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