Well it really has been quite a weekend, hasn't it?
On Friday I took the rather lengthy drive down to Naitonal Harbor for MAGFest for the second year. Overall, it was good. It wasn't quite as good or epic as last year, largely because there was still a giant "what could have been" from my friend not being able to go, however, it was still definitely worth going. Got to meet up with a few cool people, but missed some others, including Game Grumps...which is kind of disappointing, but I'm not upset about it. I had to one-up myself this year by driving home completely at night this year....and despite that I managed to ACTUALLY take the right way home this time, so that was my moment of awesome (and yes, when I started getting close to home, I shouted "HOME! WE'RE COMIN' HOOOOME AGAIN!" as loud as I could). Oddly enough, i didn't end up buying anything either...well, except dinner...and suffice to say that next time I'm probably going to bring a sandwich along as shit is EXPENSIVE down there in National Harbor.
Then on Saturday, I went over to a friend's house to celebrate her/our birthday. That was pretty neat actually, since the last time I did something like that was...err...was...
Oh it was totally neat. I kind of felt like part of a group for once. Well, except with her ex because that's just an awkward situation. But anyway, that was cool. I really can't believe I'm sounding so bland right now about all of this, despite it actually being quite different for me. i'm used to just kind of sitting home all the time, somewhat reluctantly.
But that kind of brings me to today. My birthday. My 21st Birthday. Generally that's one of those things that gets an eyebrow raise or a grin or a smirk from the audience. Well, at least an American audience. I'm kind of a peculiar fellow though, because as you may or may not know, I've very little interest in alcohol. Any other day, that's fine, but today I'm actually sitting here and thinking about that. This milestone birthday i did nothing out of the ordinary...and I wonder if that was right. I mean, it's a little late now, but maybe I should have indulged in a new experience. What are my reasons for not doing so?
Well I've always had this neurotic, deep-seated belief that people should like me for who I am...even though back when I developed that train of thought I didn't believe it myself and was constantly trying to be someone I probably wasn't. I think that part of me believes that alcohol would change the way I act, as it does with most people, and that who I would be under its subtle influence would be more likeable than who I am without it. In fact, I'd probably put money on it since I can be really stiff. Yet, at the same time, I have moments of energy where I can't imagine myself being uninhibited. Part of me thinks that a drunken Eric would make the world explode. I mean, my Christmas Special had more than one person believing was intoxicated during filming. The scary thing is that I wasn't. I'm pretty sure that if I had been, the punchline of the video would have been "EVERYTHING LIGHTS UP...including me!" With some Christmas lights hanging out of my ass.
This is the MOST ironic song to have stuck in my head right now...but god is it catchy.
On top of this, I'm kind of averse to pain or illness. I think I've got a tendency to interepret feelings as bad...even when they're really not. So I kind of feel like I might not take to this weirdness too well. Now, it's pretty easy to say all this, but one of the greater things that bothers me kind of perplexes the whole situation. What do I do, then, if I'm with a bunch of people who drink? "Well Eric, you don't drink just because they are." And that's true. But what do I do if they're acting not like themselves? And if you're scratching your head, that's because I get a little more irritated with drunken silliness than most people. Yeah, some things they say are funny and some things they do are certainly entertaining, but on some level it doesn't register as real. Sometimes that sort of thing just gets annoying. There's this whole other world out there that seems to be centered around alcohol...and it's one of the DEEPEST worlds out there. I mean, you'd be dead before you got to taste everything the world has to offer, and debates are CONSTANT about what's better than what. It's awfully complicated. Yet, for all of that complicated mixing and mashing, the result is the same. And sometimes you don't even come out with your memories intact. So it presents me with a rather tough time, since there's pressure coming in all around.
What does that make me then? The one who sits around while everyone's having a good time and scoffs that he's not in an environment with real people? Sounds an awful lot like a prude...yknow, someone who could USE a good drink to loosen up...and I admit, that could be so. I do see the benefits, but the fact of the matter is, I'm still rather averse. It's not that I don't have the capacity for rowdiness either...I don't prefer it most of the time, but sometimes I sure do. This isn't really the kind of conflict I can fully put into words since it deals largely with feelings rather than clear cut thoughts or actions. It bothers me though. In normal socialization, will i end up being the one left out because I don't join in on the zaniness in the same way? It would certainly keep me in that "second best" position I always seem to believe myself in.
Oddly enough, I think there's actually a style of comedy somewhere in my personality. Watching a few clips from "Life's Too Short" this evening makes me think that I've got this awkward, English sense of humor about me. I think there is something funny to be had in someone who can never tell whether they're having enough fun or not. I'm just kind of some unsocialized bum that always has to ask whether or not what I just did was fun, sort of, whether it's okay to have enjoyed something. The Straight Face trying to not be The Straight Face anymore. Eh, there's something there.
Liam Neeson is only SLIGHTLY worse than me at comedy.
At any rate, I did want to thank the good people of GDC again for all the birthday wishes...now that I know that I have no idea whether or not I had an excellent day. But in all sincerity, my birthday is always one of those rare days of the year where I get to recharge my faith in the world just a little bit. It's always nice to see that some people still give a nod to a little somethng here and there. GDC is one of the greatest places on the internet to have a birthday, for real. And double thanks to Alison for making that thread and inserting all the entertaining pictures and gifs in there. Always a Crowning Moment of Heartwarming, even if in a week or two I'll be back to saying "fucking no one watches my shit!" Thank you once again GDC.
Anyway, that's about how my weekend went. I've still got a really long time on break so I want to get back into writing more blogs...largely because I have pretty much NO plans for the rest of break. I seriously do not know what the hell I'm going to do with myself.
One thing I kind of gave to myself for my birthday was watching The Return of Captain Invincible on youtube. I will now be using this song as frequently as I possibly can.
And now I can be the most popular person in political threads!
Also, for the new year, I got back into Lets Playing...and we're starting off a new game...one of the most famous and highly regarded games of all time: The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, wherein head trauma occurring just a few minutes in causes my commentary to go awry...Please join me in this epic and classic adventure!