And here we are again, fate uncertain.
See, more or less got the whole thing figured out, yknow, solving problems here and there...and then...and then....my friend's sick. But we don't know how long it'll last. Maybe tomorrow she'll wake up and things won't be the way they are today. We can't tell. We don't know. She hasn't been feeling well for a couple days now, and today's been the worst...
But before we write this shit off, we have to remember something... This is fuckin' Magfest we're talking about. This proximity to the event last year, I wasn't entirely sure I was going either. That's why I believe anything can happen.
I believe that this event, at least for me, has some odd influence, which I've probably described before. I didn't know I was going until I was on the road getting there. I didn't know WHY I had to go so bad, or why all of that fuss was worth it...but nevertheless SOMETHING pushed me. It's been a year and I haven't been compelled to do anything like I was compelled to go to this thing...I mean, whoa.
That's why right now I am believing SO HARD that things are going to work out alright. Nothing about happens about Magfest until it's time for Magfest. It's my friend's first time...so maybe she's just having the same thing I'm having. Maybe this is some sort of rite of passage for the people around me that want to go to this thing. It's a stupid thought. It's silly to think that anything like this will change the outcome...but the fact of the matter is that we don't know what the outcome IS...and because of that, I can have hope. A fool's hope....a fool's ass hope...but a hope dammit. Fighting spirit! In the end, that's what it comes down to.
So, friends, join me in BELIEVING. I know, this sounds like an episode of Yugioh Abridged or some shit, but humor me. You don't even have to tell me anything. Just be like "dude, this guy is going to have a fantastic day with his friend tomorrow" in your head or something like that, I don't even know. I'm not even going to mention how much I actually want this. We're not even going to get into that because....how can you get your hopes up and down at the same time?
Half the thing right now is that I'm addicted to watching this:
Which has the right amount of drama and frustration in it right about now, despite being largely irrelevant. It actually expresses everything quite well without me having to yell so loud that my parents wonder what the hell's going on with their son. Needless to say, hope and despair are battling within me right now, and they're going to continue to do so.
I really don't want to keep myself going on this rant either. So please pardon me for being totally weird, outrageous, and melodramatic.