Christmas Time with Rezzy
by Anthony Romero
Chapter 1: "Ho's, Ho's and Ho's"
"I want a bicycle. I want one with a bell on it that goes RING RING, Santa!", the young boy on the mall Santa's lap wished. "Okay," he replies with a cheesy smile. "Make sure you stay on my list of nice kids!" As soon as the boy jumped off, he ran back to his mother, walking off elsewhere in the mall. "NEXT!", Santa yelled abruptly. A little girl was next in line to sit on Santa's lap. As soon as she sat on his lap, the mall Santa the pulled out a sheet of paper, claiming it to be a list. "Here's my list," he says to the girl, looking at the list. "What kind of list is it, Santa?", the little girl asked. "Why it's a list of the kids that'll be receiving a gift for Christmas, of course!", Santa joyfully replied.
"What kind of kids?"
"Good kids and bad kids."
"You mean "naughty" and "nice"?"
"You know what I mean, little girl!"
"Hey! Don't call me little girl, you old man!"
"Oh, you're on Santa's list now, girl!"
"The list that has the kids' names on it."
"Naughty or nice?"
"You're on my fallicious list."
"What does "fallicious" mean Santa?"
"It means that you'll be receiving a gift this Christmas! What do you want?"
"A PONY! A PONY! One that I can ride on!"
"Sure thing, little gir... I mean, child."
"Thank you, Santa!"
The little girl then jumped off of Santa's lap and walked off with her parents elsewhere. Just as they were starting to walk, the mall Santa said "She'll be getting a big bag of coal, of course!", to the other kids who were waiting in line. The little girl seemed to become quite displeased as she started storming back to Santa with her mother, as her father took a seat at a bench next to Rezzy and watched. "Oh my," the father said, "I don't like the looks of this. I won't be surprised if my wife starts to beat up Santa." Rezzy just grinned and nodded to him, as he turned his attention to the father's wife.
"NOW LOOK HERE MISTER!", the mother started to blast off to the mall Santa, "HOW DARE YOU TELL MY LOVELY RITA THAT SHE'S GETTING A BAG OF COAL FOR THIS CHRISTMAS. SHE'S BEEN A GOOD GIRL, AIIGHT? AND IF YOU WANTED TO LET HER KNOW, YOU SHOULD'VE TOLD HER IN HER FACE, AIIGHT?" Most people started to crowd around the mother. The line of kids grew concerned, anticipating on what was to come. One kid ran out of the line, crying out of fear. "Ma'am," Santa started to speak, "Please do calm down." "NO, YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN," she responded. "YOU AIN'T EVEN REAL ANYWAYS! YOU'RE JUST A FAKE ASS BITCH!" Everything in that certain area of the mall suddenly grew silent. "SHIT JUST GOT REAL!", Rezzy Leon blurted aloud. "He's... fake?", one kid asked as his eyes started to tear up. "Where's the security dude at?," one employee asked as he walked out of a mall rendition of the Q Store. About a minute later, Rezzy Leon's father walked out of the store as well, walking up towards Rezzy with a bag of goods. "Wow, she must be upset at something," Mr. Leon told Rezzy, handing him the bag. "Yeah... What took you?!", Rezzy snapped. "Sorry son!", Mr. Leon said apologetically. "The person in front of me was paying for everything in pennies." "Oh, I feel your pain bro," Rezzy sighed. "Now, let's just continue shopping and get this crap over with."
"But it's for your mother, Rezzy."
"Yeah, I know, but I'd like for us to get going before that lady over there loses her mind over that mall Santa."
"Hm... You're right," Mr. Leon said as he and Rezzy both started to walk away from the bench.
Chapter 2: "Ho's, ho's, and more ho's."
"What's next on the list?", Mr. Leon asked Rezzy. "It says "a pair of new drumsticks." Funny. I never seen mom play the drums, nor do we even own a drum set." "Um...," Mr. Leon snatched the list out of Rezzy's hands. "Let's just skip that for now." "Uh huh," Rezzy responds in suspicion. "What ever you say. You're the one that decided to come to the mall afterall." "Hey!", Mr. Leon says, avoiding to talk about the supposedly called drumsticks. "Let's go inside that store to see if we can find anything!" "Inside a Macy's?", Rezzy asked. "Eh, I don't see why not."
As soon as the two entered the Macy's, they were welcomed by an employee who was stocking up some more winter boots on the shelves. "Okay, mister I-Have-The-List," Rezzy said in sarcasm, "What's the next thing that's on the list?" "Well," Mr. Leon responded, looking at the list, "your mother wanted us to get this perfume for her, called "Cherry Blossoms". Not sure what it smells like, nor do I want to know what it smells like."
About two minutes after the two walked into the Macy's, Rezzy heard a familiar voice saying "Thank you, have a nice day and a safe Christmas!" He then turned his head to see a familiar face at the counter. "Oh God," Rezzy said to himself. "It's... Is it really her? I believe I owe her a penny." "Owe who a penny?", Mr. Leon questioned Rezzy. "This one girl that I met on Halloween eve. If it was on Halloween, then it would be too cliché. It's a long story, actually." "Uh huh...," Mr. Leon said in suspicion, looking at Rezzy. Rezzy then began to wonder why she was working at Macy's now. Did she got fired at the Q Store for being rude to Rezzy Leon that one night? Did she just decided to quit because she gave up on life, or did she just quit because she broke a nail? Let's find out...
As Rezzy and his father both walked into the perfume section, they stumbled across the bottle of perfume labled "Cherry Blossoms." "Oh!", Mr. Leon said with excitement, "This is the one your mother wanted!" "Great!", Rezzy replied. "Now let's pay for that and leave to another shop. This Macy's is giving me the chills... I'm not a Macy's fan." "Fine," Mr. Leon relented as he started walking towards the checkout counter. When the two arrived to the counter with the perfume bottle in Mr. Leon's hands, Rezzy started cringing, seeing the cashier. She smiled at the customer in front of them, saying in that, to which Rezzy considers, annoying voice of hers. Right when the customer left the store with his purchased items, Rezzy and his father stood up to the counter to pay for the perfume.
"Did you locate everything okay?", the cashier asked, not acknoledging Rezzy at first. As soon as Mr. Leon responded with a "Yup!", the cashier looked into Rezzy's eyes very sternly. "Good to know," she said indirectly to Mr. Leon, still looking at Rezzy. "Um...," Rezzy hesitated. "Merry Christmas." "Merry Christmas to you to, Penny Man."
"Huh"?, Mr. Leon thought aloud.
"He's the Penny Man," the cashier went on to tell Mr. Leon, "because your son over here was a penny short when I was a cashier at the Q Store back over there on 8th Avenue."
"That's very interesting," Mr. Leon responded in sarcasm.
"Anyways," the cashier said, scanning the perfume bottle, "That'll be $86.80."
Mr. Leon the pulled out his wallet to get his debit card from it, then giving it to the cashier. "So, why are you a cashier at this Macy's now?", Rezzy asked. "What ever happened to your job at the Q Store?" She then put the perfume in a bag, giving it to Mr. Leon, along with his debit card, trying to avoid the question. Seconds later, she sighed, and looked back at Rezzy. "I get too much homeless customers that pays me in pennies. Thank you, and Merry Christmas. Get lost."
Chapter 3: "These boots were actually made for running, not walking."
After Rezzy and his father left the Macy's, Rezzy asked his dad which item was next on this list to purchase for Mrs. Leon. "Hm...," Mr. Leon said, looking at the list. "Wow... She wants those boots she's been telling us about." Rezzy had a confused expression on his face. "Like, cowboy boots?", he asked his father.
"No, fool! I'm talking about those boots with the fur on it."
"OH! I thought you were talking about those Texan boots, or something like that."
"I can't believe I spent seventeen years of my life raising THIS; a dumbass!"
"Whatever. At least I take pride in who I am!"
"So what? Anyways, let's find a footwear store for women, and in a hurry, too."
The two then walked around the mall for a few minutes searching for a women's footwear store until they came across one. Eventually they did, as it was just a Lady's Footlocker. The two then looked at each other with the expression on their faces reading "Do we really have to?".
As soon as they both walked in, an employee who works there welcomed the two. "Um...," Rezzy turned to his father. "You sure they sell furry boots here? This is a Lady's Foot Locker for Bob Marley's sake! They sell Nike, Jordan, and other brands of tennis shoes, you know." "Don't worry," Mr. Leon responded. "I know how to handle situations like this. See, while I was waiting for you to get into the car before we left for the mall, I made a phone call with a friend who works here at this store. She told me to meet her up here, and mention the code word in front of her so that she can be signaled to take us to where all of the shoes are in their stocks." A few seconds of silence passed, with Rezzy having an empty expression on his face, unclear of whether he understood what his father said or not. "Riiight...," Rezzy responded, acting as if he did understand. The two then walked around the store for a minute or two, looking for Mr. Leon's friend.
"Hello there, Thomas!", Mr. Leon's friend welcomed.
"Hey there Ashley!," Mr. Leon responded. Ashley then turned to look at Rezzy. "And your name is?", she asked him.
"My name is Rezzy," he responded, shaking Ashley's hand. "Rezzy Leon."
"Ah, it's always such a pleasure to meet new people, especially if they're relatives of my friends! Wait... You are related to Thomas, aren't you?", she joked.
"Of course I am!", Rezzy responded. "I'm his son!"
"But I digress," Ashley conceded. "Follow me. I'll take you to the boots."
Thomas and Rezzy then followed Ashley into the stockroom of the store to get the boots she promised Thomas. As they were walking to where the boots were, Rezzy then turned to his father, asking about what to code word was.
"Um, dad?", Rezzy whispered.
"What was the code word?"
"What code word?"
"You know... the code word."
"And here we are!", interrupted Ashley.
Chapter 4: "Never mind the boots. We'll just go."
The three of them have arrived to where Ashley claimed the boots are. Inside a dark room, where the lighting was dim, all they could see was a white box on top of a pedestal. Ashley then grabbed the box, holding onto it. "Okay," she said, "Now, Thomas, I believe we had ourselves a deal." "Oh, right!", he responded. "How much do I owe you?"
"$1,500?! Bitch, you're tripping!"
"Not at the moment, I'm not."
"FINE! You take cash or credit?"
"Doesn't matter. Just as long as I have my money, you know."
"You know what? Never mind the boots. We'll just go..."
"NO! Don't go! Please! I've been through a LOT just to get these boots for you!"
"Hm... Open the box and show me that those actually are the boots first, before I even risk my money on such."
Ashley then hesistated to open the box, moving her right hand sliggishly over the top of it. "Now open it," Thomas demanded. "I'm opening it!", Ashley claimed. "Just give me a second, will ya?!" Rezzy then started to become concerned, as he started to notices Ashley's odd behavior. "Are you okay, Ashley?", Rezzy asked. "I am," she said in a somewhat shakey voice. The three were then interrupted as they heard a door slam open down the stockroom entrance.
"I think she's over here," one voice echoed. "We'll search throughout this room, too!", echoed another voice. Then footsteps started to be heard. By each second it got louder, as it started to approach the three of them. Eventually one man walked up to them. "AHA!", he said, pointing at Ashley. "Not only did I found our target, but there's two more with her!" "Now who the fuck are you?", Ashley asked out of confusion. "Ma'am," the man said, showing his FBI badge, "We're with the FBI, and we're arresting you three for illegal drug dealing." "Oh come on!", Ashely complained. "There are boots in that box! I swear!" "Riiight," the FBI agent said, opening the box. "Can you explain THIS!" Rezzy and Mr. Leon looked at each other, then looked at the inside of the shoebox. "Who knew she'd sell us weed and cocaine?", Rezzy said. "Obviously you two, since you WERE buying it after all!", replied the FBI agent. "All of you, put your hands behind your backs." "Well, isn't this great?", Rezzy pouted. "Getting arrested when it's Christmas time. Perfect." "I want a lawyer," Thomas said as soon as he was handcuffed.
Chapter 5: "Merry Christmas, Rezzy Leon"
The three were put into the back of a cop car, although there were three seperate cars to seperate the three from each other. Rezzy Leon was put into one car with one woman next to him who was handcuffed as well. "Stupid ass Santa," she complained. "I told you he was fake." Rezzy looked at her like she has problems, which, she does. I don't know what problems she has, but obviously they are some serious problems. "He never told me what the code word was," Rezzy said to himself. Two cops were sitting in the front seats of the car, discussing what they call a "drug bust". "So apparently she was using a code word to be signaled when she was going to give him the drugs," the cop driver said. "What was it?", the other cop asked. "The code word was...," the driver went on to say.
"Wait a minute," interrupted the other cop. "Let's go by to the Q Store over here to pick up some shoelaces. I've seem to lost mine whenever we arrested that loud woman who accused Santa of being fake."
© Anthony Romero, 2012