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Comrade's Scribblings

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This is just a piece that's short and sweet. It's the first piece of writing I've done directly about the girl who I've been seeing. I don't need to explain about our situation, it's all in these 16 lines. I'm happy with this though, in preparation for starting work on the next part of my epic, I've been practicing summing up entire scenarios, people and feelings in a condensed format that can be expanded while remaining poetic. These two verses may well become part of the epic further down the line. For now though, they are Fire:


She set ablaze before my eyes

From the ends her fingertips

All for just a touch of the lies

That quiver, sad, behind my lips;

Scared of what it seems may well be

The feeling of cold winter rain

When leaves blow down streets without me

Chasing at the hint she wants me

And yet although the fires glow,

The winds blow strong to the obscure;

She’s never one to let me know

For fear of losing her allure

So for days she will stay away

To keep me bursting at the seams

And straight caught blind, out in the rain

No, it will never be the same

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Like this! The first four lines are brilliant. I love that imagery of those really electric emotions connecting through sensitive fingertips/lips. :) If that makes sense?

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