I just love the show Friends so much that I am going to dedicate a whole blog to it. HAAA just kidding, I wouldn't do that. But I do love "Friends". What can I say? I grew up in the 90s.
Anywhooo....my whole life I have had an issue with making and really keeping friends. I don't really know what it is. I am a shy, yet very friendly, person. I rarely just go up to someone and start talking to them. I am one of those people that has people come up to me. I've always been a very too myself kind of person.
Many people think that their teens and 20s should be going out with your friends all the time and partying and shit like that. I've never had that lifestyle. When I was younger, I always thought my life would be like that. I thought that when I was in my 20s, I would go to bars and concerts and have a bunch of one night stands. I would meet a lot of guys and date around until I eventually settled down when 30 started to come near.
Well, my friends, my life was far from that. And still is. I guess I shouldn't put that idea out of the way completely as I am only 21. In high school I usually sat at home doing homework or watching tv. These days, I am busy with school and work. If I hang out with anyone, it's my sister or my boyfriend. In high school, I never really had that group of friends that I hung out with all the time. I did in like 7th, 8th and part of 9th grade. But as we entered high school, it kind of broke apart. I have always had a few friends that I would hang out with separately or talk to at school. But many of those friendships always came and went.
At the beginning of second grade, I started at a new school. Not because I moved or anything, but because my day care provider had too many kids and my mom decided to take us out. Therefore, I no longer went to the school near her house. I remember that first week. I knew NO ONE. At recess, I would sit on the playground and watch all of the kids running around and wish I was part of that. One day, in class, we were making these friendship safety pins. This girl named Krista, who I had never talked to, came up and decided to trade pins with me. We were friends throughout high school. Not best friends or anything, but we would say hi to each other in the hall and talk occasionally. It was a cool relationship. Like we always had each other's back without really getting very close.
In seventh grade, I met a girl named Chelsey through a girl I had met my fifth grade year. Us three hung out together all the time through 10th grade. The other friend, Vanessa, had moved schools, got into the wrong crowd, and started doing drugs. Long story short, we are no longer friends because she just got too messed up. But, me and Chelsey were basically inseparable. I would spend a week straight at her house. Even today, although we do not talk as much, we are still really close. She is currently in Spain and I cannot wait for her to get back. Our friendship isn't as strong as it used to be but I always look forward to hanging out with her. She's amazing. She's really the only friend I have been able to keep a strong relationship with for this long. It's really a rare thing for me.
Then, there's Tony. We met during the second semester of our sophomore year. Well, we had been going to school together since 2nd but never were friends. I had a crush on him before we really started talking. He was as big of a Green Day fan as I was. He's this skinny, punky dressed, brown haired, brown eyed beauty. Yeah, I have a boyfriend now, but that man is beautiful. We basically hit it off from the start. The love I grew for him is another blog that I may or may not write about. We never dated. Although many people asked and insist we should. But, he always saw me as a sister. Ugh. Oh well. I still talk to him basically every day about almost anything. That's another one I've been able to keep pretty freaking strong. Again, another blog.
My boyfriend and I have been dating almost 2 and 1/2 years. He plays hockey and this past weekend, I went to one of his practices. There was another girlfriend there. I was sitting by myself, as usual, in the stands listening to my ipod. She came in and I was like "please don't sit by me, don't sit by me, don't sit by me" in my head. I have this thing where I hate awkward silence. I am really not good at conversations. I never really know what to say and I feel like some of the things I say may be weird or just not right. Probably why I've never been able to make many friends. Well, she sat by me. To my surprise, we talked for the whole hour and a half. It was kinda awesome. My boyfriend really wants me to have friends other than just him to hang out with. He got all excited I met a knew friend and seriously is telling everyone.
I tend to be kind of a chatterbox online or over text but when it's in person, it's nothing. I think I've gotten better over the years. Working in a coffee shop has helped a lot because you get to know people, especially regulars. And then, you get used to talking to people and it just becomes natural. Just today, my boss' mom said something about it. I was very shy and quiet when I first starting working there over 2 years ago. She saw my tattoo for the first time (a tree covering most of my upper left arm). She was like "You're not the quiet, shy girl anymore!" That made me smile a bit.
Does anyone else go through this? Anyone ever have trouble making and keeping friends? Anyone have any advice? (Please keep in mind, I am a very simple person. I avoid drama when I can. Because it is immature, boring, and yeah. A waste of time. Many people will tell you I am a very sweet, kind, and loving person. I would hate to make anyone feel ill thoughts about me. I treat everyone the way I would like to be treated.)
Oh, hey! How did that get there?