Crossed posted on Tumblr as well
I saw Broadway Idiot for the first time yesterday night and was smacked in the face with the feels. It was so surprising because I wasn’t into Green Day as much as I was before. I still loved them, yeah! Just not so interested in what they were doing. I haven’t even seen the teasers that the Green Day youtube site put out for Cuatro!
I feel like I should start at the beginning, so here goes. The first song I had ever heard by Green Day was Boulevard of Broken Dreams, like a lot of other fans who got into the band after American Idiot released. The difference with me was that when I first heard BOBD, the band was close to releasing 21st Century Breakdown.
I was watching a fanmade Naruto video and BOBD was played. I liked the song instantly, it was catchy and fun to listen to! It got stuck in my head. So the next day, in class, I was talking to one of my friends when I told her about this new song that I fell in love with, of course I didn’t know that it wasn’t new at that time.
However there was a slight problem, I didn’t know the name of the song.
"I walk along, I walk alone, ah ah, ah ah, dream something, I think it was called" was what I told my friend. She instantly brightened up and said "Boulevard Of Broken Dreams! I love that song!" Obviously the next logical step was asking her who the song was by. She replied saying Green Day. I never knew how those two words would change my life. I don’t know where that girl is now, but I know that I owe her.
It’s so strange isin’t it? How something as simple as a song or a movie or a poem can change your life? It sounds so stupid, sometimes. But I don’t think anyone has escaped the clutches of art, in any form, and it’s magic.
I was 13 or maybe even younger when I heard BOBD. I was shy, kind of a loner and was dubbed ‘weird’ by my peers. I had a few friends, yeah and I’m grateful that I had them then, but looking back now, I realize I had no one person I could really trust. I was also made fun of a lot and it really hurt me. It kinda gets to your head yanno? When you’re teased all the time and even when you try to not take it seriously, it still hurts somewhere.
I never told anyone how much it hurt me when I was bullied. I guess, I thought it was something so trivial that it didn’t matter. So this little girl, who was and still lives in India mind you, was alone more or less. And in those days, english music wasn’t popular with people my age. I still remember, I was scared to go to Youtube the first time I had heard of that site. But I obviously got over that irrational fear.
After the discovery of BOBD, I found a treasure of Green Day songs, 21CB had released, Green Day was performing on award shows and my knowledge of their songs increased. American Idiot, St.Jimmy, Give Me Novacaine, Holiday, Good Riddance, Basket Case, Know Your Enemy, etc., featured on my playlist.
I remember I had Jesus Of Suburbia on my iPod and I would never, ever, listen to it fully. Simple because it was too long and I had no patience to listen to a song that long when I didn’t even know the words.But I would always listen to one part before I changed the song.
"There’s nothing wrong with me, this is how I’m supposed to be." That one line resonated in my life. I had felt left-out, misunderstood and stereotyped. Nobody was listening to me and moreover nobody was like me. I was scared and lonely.
Then there was Billie Joe Armstrong, screaming in my ear about how there’s nothing wrong with him and this is how he’s supposed to be. A man, so much older than me, so much more experienced, who lives so fucking far away from me. Was the only one who knew how I felt, the only one who understood and it’s such an incredible feeling.
It changed my life. What a stupid thing to say right? But it did. It made me feel like I was not alone in this big bad world. I felt invigorated and inspired. I could be anything I wanted. Born in such a conservative country, where everything was told and done as written and demanded by our elders, I discovered free will.
Nothing could stop me now, I was obsessed with the band and inturn learned so much more about myself. I now had opinions and thoughts that were different from everyone else. I had to know everything about this band, that for all intents and purposes had changed my entire life.
I went on Wikipedia, Goggle, anything I could get my hands on. I downloaded pictures, bought CDs (I now have all Green Day albums, including BIAB and AAF) and read loads and loads of interviews. My senior, who loved Green Day as well, told me about GDA. Of course, I had to go to that site! My thirst for knowledge, about a band nonetheless, was never-ending. As my parents often lament, if I only paid half as much as the interest I paid to Green Day related things to my studies, I would do so well.
I spent a lot of my time on GDA and soon on GDC, where I met so many people who were like me. We’ve all had so many different experiences but somewhere Green Day had spoken to us (or maybe it’s just the catchy songs, I’ not quite sure). I also met people through Twitter and Facebook. Imagine my flabbergasted face when I realized that there were so many Green Day fans in India itself!
Green Day has inspired so much. I’m now a confident person, I do have my shy moments but I’ve learnt that being myself is not wrong because that is the only person I can ever be. I started learning the guitar, I started learning the drums, I started telling people that I am good at something, that I can play these instruments and I have performed infront of a large audience (Only like 4 times, but whatever, I have! http://www.greendaycommunity.org/uploads/emoticons/default_tongue.png' alt=':P'>). I started writing lyrics as well and the encouragement I’ve gotten from the people on GDC in my posts posts made me more confident to write more and post more! (Shamelessly pimps my lyrics page http://thisbrutalove.livejournal.com/ )
And they continue to inspire me. It’s times like this, when I’m hit so hard by the feels that I realize how much they actually mean to me. Mike when asked how he felt when fans came up and said that Green Day saved their lives, he replied saying that, they didn’t start out to save or change people’s lives, they just wanted to play music. And somewhere along the way, they unknowingly began changing and saving lives.
It sounds so melodramatic, saying Green Day changed my life. I was once asked by my friends, how did they change your life? Were you suicidal or something? The answer is no, I wasn’t and am not suicidal. But they changed me from someone who would’ve lived someone else’s life, someone who would’ve been scared and lonely into someone who’s confident and not afraid to speak her mind (in most scenarios).
This was a huge ass post, so if you actually read this then thank you so much. This is just how I feel and I needed to get this out. After all, it’s not everyday that you get crippled by the feels and get inspired to write something.