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Life with a ?

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About this blog

What is life like living with a ?

I am no behavioral health expert.... these are just things that I have learned during at least 19 years.... 

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Tears

Not allowed to make the music that I would my thoughts are truly reckless and very  misunderstood so now it is only poetry that I play with in the backyard of my mind each and every day I am not too courageous yet my name , that's what it means I am not a warrior and I am not allowed to scream I am in a prison of emotion and psychotherapy Debating on to watch it end all inside of me. I talked to many people about what is going on and if I did die it would raise too many questions about myself to run away will not make the troubles go away so act as if... you crazy b****…. you are a robot now made of flesh... but do your best.... not to care anyhow.  

Outofmind

Outofmind

 

The rules

My opinions do not matter. Only whether or not I have done my chores matters. My existence is to serve, not to think and not to speak unless temporarily allowed to do so. I am not allowed to set personal boundaries without some kind of punishment being distributed toward me.  Punishment has no rhyme nor reason other than the will of my 'superior' who works 12 hours a day minimum for 3 days a week minimum because I have no job skills and cannot hold a job. I do not deserve respect because I do not bring in an income to prevent myself from being a financial sinkhole and I eat too much even when I am not eating. I am using too many towels when using only 1 towel to dry myself IF I do take a shower according to my 'superiors' sister.  Standing up for or even attempting conversation with another person in the house results in verbal negativity and mental punishment of myself. I am not permitted to leave because I am the center of the mess of gears that is holding the gears together and keeping them from flying in all different directions only because I am not a big fan (see rule number 1) of alcoholic drinks.  

Outofmind

Outofmind

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