Spending 3 days in a car all by yourself make you think about life. Why you're doing things the way you're doing. And such.
Fuck there's a snowstorm now. I gotta leave before it gets worse... As soon as I started my car I thought: why on earth am I doing this? Why am I risking my life in a snow storm to see a band play? Why am I even driving over 1000 miles to see them? What makes it worth it?
Fuck someone had an accident. That could've been me. I should just turn around and go home. No, I can't. I can't give up now. Fuck, another accident.
At accident number 25 I decide to stop counting. The weather has been bad for hours. I can't even see the difference between the road, the fields around it and the sky. It's all white. Jesus, I'm still driving only 30 miles per hour. This is gonna be bad. This was the worst idea ever.
After hours of driving, I somehow made it to Lexington, Nebraska. I booked a room in a random hotel and had a meal. Tomorrow's gonna be better.
Alarm clock goes off. Rianne, it's enough. You've been crazy enough to follow these guys all across Europe, it's enough. Go home, and never do this again. But I survived a snowstorm. It can't get worse now... Plus, I'll just drive very relaxed, make lots of stops.... it'll be fine. Okay, I'll go to Iowa.
If you think Nebraska is boring, go to Iowa. Ofcourse it didn't help that it was snowing - again. After 9 hours of driving, and only 2 touristy stops made, I finally booked a hotel again.
Fucking jesus, it snowed again. And my car is parked on the private road up the hill of the hotel.... and it's snowy and icy. How on earth am I going to get down here?! I'll never survive this. But I have to. I want to see Green Day.
As the snow melted and the sun made everything look better, I started realising it. I was such a lost soul before I knew Green Day. A young and naive girl. About to graduate high school, wanting to go to art school. But everyone said to go for something more assuring of a job. And they said to get married after and have lots of babies and have a great career. I never wanted any of that, but everyone said that that's the way you're supposed to live your life. About to do what everyone told me to, I saw American Idiot on TV. And that was the first step. After seeing Green Day live on July 7th 2005, I was sure I was going to make my own decisions. As Billie Joe said "don't let these bastards dictate your life". A light was turned on inside me. Those words inspired me to make something of my life. I did end up going to art school. I lost most of my friends cause I started speaking up for myself. After graduating art school, everyone in my class found a job. But I wanted to make another decision - again. I went to Cambodia for 3 months, and I had the time of my life. After spending almost a year making random travels and going on the Europe tour, I made the decision to go to the States as an au pair. The family in Philadelphia just wasn't what I expected. 8 years ago I would've cried my eyes out, thinking it was all my fault. But not now. Not the new me. I moved to a new family in Denver. It turns out the Philly family has been talking shit about me behind my back and spreading lies. Things like that used to get me down, but I just don't care anymore. If they decide to spread lies about me, that says more about them than about me. The new family in Denver is awesome. And I cannot believe I'm driving in Illinois right now, to see my favorite band again. Beside my family, Green Day is the only thing that stuck with me over the past 8 years. They're my constant, for those who know Lost. They changed my life. That music touched my heart, and for that, I will always love them.
As I'm driving up to Chicago, I realise how incredibly lucky I am. I have the privilege of calling multiple countries my home country. I have seen different parts of the world. I have travelled to places tourists usually wouldn't go, and I have done things no one thought I ever would do. Including myself. I made random choices in my life over the past couple of years, and I am blessed to have parents who supported every single one I made. I feel like my life has only just begun. It's been a rollercoaster ride for a few years now, and I don't plan on slowing it down. So what will be my next move? I don't have a clue. And I don't really care. I'm living my life for me now, so I know it's going to be something that makes me happy. And that is all that matters.