Wow! I wonder how I'm alive right now righting this! It's been like 3 days that I can't sleep before 2 am & I have to wake up at 6:45!
For the first time, I slept with my eyes open at class
Anyway, this is a little bit more than just a brain fart! It's getting serious.
My dad makes me hate him. He's fucking everything up! I know he doesn't know how to express his love to his family! But y'know, if you're the kind of person who only knows him outside the house & at work, you'll think " wow! What a great & kind man he is ", but that's only for them! Not inside!
Mom can be really stupid sometimes! Though I love her more than dad & hate her less than him, but she can totally put up a family war for no reason. I recently told her 'bout my depression & stuff, because I thought that would change the way she treats me, but nothing happened! She wants me to talk her, but every time I do, she makes me regret it! Like, seriously?!
I guess my parents have some kind of " modem disease " They just enjoy turning off the modem & pissing me off!
Another problem is myself! Yep, I know my flaws & I do admit them. And I want to fix them!
You know, actually there's no one that really knows me & one of the biggest problems about the damned society that I live in, is that the majority can't & aren't capable of accepting different people! They can't handle different opinions! That's sucks!
I was talking about myself! Well, I try not to give a damn about what others think or say, but unfor-fucking-tunately I give a lot of shit!
I've been dealing with these people ( aka morons ) for a few years & I still have to do that for 3 years! ugh! Nobody's perfect! But can't we just accept & respect the individuality?! Sometimes, actually often, knowing & understanding what's happening around you & seeing everything breaking down before your eyes hurt.... " Ignorance is kind, there's no comfort in the truth, pain is all you'll find "
I guess when you're living here ( I'm talkin' 'bout myself & people who are like me " you just better shut your mouth, otherwise they'll attack you! " Fucking mess, you know?!
Whenever you decide to talk to someone, ( cuz I can't put everything inside of me anymore ), why do they always blame you?! Even though if you haven't done anything wrong?! Can't they just help & soothe you or at least be quiet?!
I'm sorry I'm a bit f'd up now, it's been like this for a few weeks now, I wanted to visit a therapist, but then I didn't!
Do you guys have any advices, please?