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It's what I do.

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A Northern Drive

As many of you may know, I live in the lovely state of Minnesota. It is actually lovely, contrary to the belief that is cold here all of the time. Come here in August and we will prove you wrong on that. Anyways, I digress.

For Thanksgiving this year, I am going to my grandparent's house in western Montana. We left this morning and will get there tomorrow evening (it is an 18 hour drive that we are splitting into two days). Well, my friends, I will tell you that this oh, so lovely drought we've had did not make the drive pretty through western MN and North Dakota.

Through most of Minnesota and some of North Dakota, this is what the scenery was like: farm, grass, grass, lone tree, cow, farm, grass, grass, rock, pond, more grass, etc...What an exciting blog this is, right?

But, as we got further and further into North Dakota, more and more snow covered the ground. It gave this boring brown monotony a big of a kick. By this time, the sun was starting to set and giving everything a nice glow and pretty shadow. What came with the snow were these rows of bare, winterized trees that marked the outlines of fields. They were everywhere. They were crooked, knobby, and just gorgeous. Rows and rows and rows.

Want to know something new about me? I have this weird obsession with trees. Especially bare ones. I think they are so much more beautiful than the ones with leaves on them (the only exception: when the leaves are brightly colored in the fall). I feel like you can see the trees inner self. That inner hard exterior that will be up against the harsh winds, cold frost, and piles of snow come winter. And then it still stands tall and sprouts bright green leaves in the spring. I really think they are a metaphor to myself and many many humans. Just because someone is in a vulnerable state, doesn't mean they aren't strong. It doesn't matter what you look on the outside, if you are strong on the inside, you can do anything you set your mind to and get through any obstacles that life brings you. I have learned this throughout my entire life.

I used to be pretty chubby when I was younger, basically until I started high school. I was constantly teased. I was called every name in the book, things thrown at me, and had only a few friends. I would come home many times and start crying. After I lost the weight, things got better. But then my mom's now ex husband (not my dad) started trying to do the same thing to my sister, my mom, and I. I had enough of this shit and I learned to stand up to myself. I wouldn't deal with it.

Last May I got a tattoo of a bare tree on my upper left arm (pictured below). The star represents Minnesota and the tree represents, well, what I mentioned before: inner strength. I love this tattoo more than anything. Done by Jeff at the Holy Mackerel studio in Saint Paul, Minnesota.


Have a lovely Thanksgiving everyone! Even my non-American readers! :)



Friendship and thingss

I just love the show Friends so much that I am going to dedicate a whole blog to it. HAAA just kidding, I wouldn't do that. But I do love "Friends". What can I say? I grew up in the 90s.

Anywhooo....my whole life I have had an issue with making and really keeping friends. I don't really know what it is. I am a shy, yet very friendly, person. I rarely just go up to someone and start talking to them. I am one of those people that has people come up to me. I've always been a very too myself kind of person.

Many people think that their teens and 20s should be going out with your friends all the time and partying and shit like that. I've never had that lifestyle. When I was younger, I always thought my life would be like that. I thought that when I was in my 20s, I would go to bars and concerts and have a bunch of one night stands. I would meet a lot of guys and date around until I eventually settled down when 30 started to come near.

Well, my friends, my life was far from that. And still is. I guess I shouldn't put that idea out of the way completely as I am only 21. In high school I usually sat at home doing homework or watching tv. These days, I am busy with school and work. If I hang out with anyone, it's my sister or my boyfriend. In high school, I never really had that group of friends that I hung out with all the time. I did in like 7th, 8th and part of 9th grade. But as we entered high school, it kind of broke apart. I have always had a few friends that I would hang out with separately or talk to at school. But many of those friendships always came and went.

At the beginning of second grade, I started at a new school. Not because I moved or anything, but because my day care provider had too many kids and my mom decided to take us out. Therefore, I no longer went to the school near her house. I remember that first week. I knew NO ONE. At recess, I would sit on the playground and watch all of the kids running around and wish I was part of that. One day, in class, we were making these friendship safety pins. This girl named Krista, who I had never talked to, came up and decided to trade pins with me. We were friends throughout high school. Not best friends or anything, but we would say hi to each other in the hall and talk occasionally. It was a cool relationship. Like we always had each other's back without really getting very close.

In seventh grade, I met a girl named Chelsey through a girl I had met my fifth grade year. Us three hung out together all the time through 10th grade. The other friend, Vanessa, had moved schools, got into the wrong crowd, and started doing drugs. Long story short, we are no longer friends because she just got too messed up. But, me and Chelsey were basically inseparable. I would spend a week straight at her house. Even today, although we do not talk as much, we are still really close. She is currently in Spain and I cannot wait for her to get back. Our friendship isn't as strong as it used to be but I always look forward to hanging out with her. She's amazing. She's really the only friend I have been able to keep a strong relationship with for this long. It's really a rare thing for me.

Then, there's Tony. We met during the second semester of our sophomore year. Well, we had been going to school together since 2nd but never were friends. I had a crush on him before we really started talking. He was as big of a Green Day fan as I was. He's this skinny, punky dressed, brown haired, brown eyed beauty. Yeah, I have a boyfriend now, but that man is beautiful. We basically hit it off from the start. The love I grew for him is another blog that I may or may not write about. We never dated. Although many people asked and insist we should. But, he always saw me as a sister. Ugh. Oh well. I still talk to him basically every day about almost anything. That's another one I've been able to keep pretty freaking strong. Again, another blog.

My boyfriend and I have been dating almost 2 and 1/2 years. He plays hockey and this past weekend, I went to one of his practices. There was another girlfriend there. I was sitting by myself, as usual, in the stands listening to my ipod. She came in and I was like "please don't sit by me, don't sit by me, don't sit by me" in my head. I have this thing where I hate awkward silence. I am really not good at conversations. I never really know what to say and I feel like some of the things I say may be weird or just not right. Probably why I've never been able to make many friends. Well, she sat by me. To my surprise, we talked for the whole hour and a half. It was kinda awesome. My boyfriend really wants me to have friends other than just him to hang out with. He got all excited I met a knew friend and seriously is telling everyone.

I tend to be kind of a chatterbox online or over text but when it's in person, it's nothing. I think I've gotten better over the years. Working in a coffee shop has helped a lot because you get to know people, especially regulars. And then, you get used to talking to people and it just becomes natural. Just today, my boss' mom said something about it. I was very shy and quiet when I first starting working there over 2 years ago. She saw my tattoo for the first time (a tree covering most of my upper left arm). She was like "You're not the quiet, shy girl anymore!" That made me smile a bit.

Does anyone else go through this? Anyone ever have trouble making and keeping friends? Anyone have any advice? (Please keep in mind, I am a very simple person. I avoid drama when I can. Because it is immature, boring, and yeah. A waste of time. Many people will tell you I am a very sweet, kind, and loving person. I would hate to make anyone feel ill thoughts about me. I treat everyone the way I would like to be treated.)


Oh, hey! How did that get there? :)



Food and Other Festivities

Oh hey! It appears that I have made some time to add to my blog. I do want to write one maybe once a week or so. But we will see. As said in my previous, I'm a busy lady.

Well, as we all know, the holidays are coming around. I'm personally not the biggest fan of Halloween. I mean, the thing I'm most excited about Halloween this year (and maybe every year, the last few years) is being able to wear my adorable Snoopy/Peanuts Halloween tshirt. It's as adorable as it sounds. Other than that, I will probably be sitting around my apartment, possibly alone, doing homework or watching Friends with my cats as my boyfriend will be working. Fun fun fun!

Buuuuut something that does strike my fancy is Thanksgiving and Christmas. Who doesn't like gifts and eating until we puke? I do, that's for sure. But that's just a small part of why I like this season.

So, I have two really big passions: interior design and food. My major is interior design and I love learning about food. I don't cook as much as I would like, though. Again, busy lifestyle. That's a bad excuse, though. I really enjoy the Food Network. Especially this time of year because they have so many festive ideas and all of the food just reminds me of good times with the fan and gives me warm fuzzies inside. Even though my family life has never been completely smooth sailing, the holidays always were a time where it got a little better.

Now, how I love to have these two passions brought together: the perfect kitchen. I live, and have lived, in Minnesota my whole life. And the whole cabin and forestry theme of interiors really calls to my Minnesota roots. I would love some dark brown cabinets, grey marble counter tops with forest green utensils and decorations around. I am currently a barista, and anyone who knows coffee well, has seen the color of the crema on top of espresso. This is a beautiful color. I would love to incorporate this color to my kitchen some day. It's such a warming color.

Okay, back to the holidays. I LOVE CHRISTMAS! Every time I've gone to Target lately, I may or may not have walked through the Christmas decorations. I know, I know, it's 2 months early. But I can't help myself. Don't worry, I wait until the day after Thanksgiving to listen to the lovely music. Which, this year, I will be in Montana on that day! So. Excited.

I will probably, at some time, go more into food and interior design. And as the holidays grow closer, expand more on my love for this season. It's been cold and rainy here the last few days which is very nice to cuddle up with a nice cup of hot cider and listen to !UNO! for the millionth time.

How about a lovely picture of Tre Cool to finish off the blog? I think so. :)


Oh, how I love this beautiful man.



Introductory Entry! Woo!

I have been a Green Day fan since the prime age of 13. I have been frequently checking GDA for the latest Green Day news for many of those years. It appears that I have, indeed, had this account for 3 years...I really don't know why I never used it. I mean, I know I'm a busy person. But still. No excuse.

In high school, I was known as the girl that liked Green Day. Even if people didn't know my name, they knew I liked Green Day. I did wear a lot of their shirts. I was kind of that quiet rocker chick that sat in the back of the classroom. But, to many who knew me, knew that I, by no means, have a rough exterior. Or an interior one, for that matter. I'm a very happy, kind person. I just happen to like one kickass band and dress accordingly. Maybe it's because I like feeling like a badass, even though I'm really not one.

My mom has always listened to pretty alternative music. I would hear Green Day on the radio every once in awhile, even though I didn't know it was them at the time. I remember absolutely loving the song "Warning". Whenever it came on the radio, I would always dance along because of it's really upbeat tune with catchy lyrics. On my 13th birthday (September 25), I first heard American Idiot on the radio. And the rest is basically history. That was the year American Idiot was released. I remember so many of my classmates loving them and talking about them. But I really fell in love.

Throughout my life, I've had this connection to music. In my middle school years, I was, like many others, awkward. Quiet, the fat kid, with little friends and a lack of athletic skills. Oh, the good years. I was constantly searching for a band that I could really relate to. And on my 13th birthday, I found them. Fast forward to high school, my love for them grew. I lost 40 pounds the summer before my sophomore year. This came at the perfect time. Now, I had the body to feel confident enough to wear clothes I actually loved wearing. And I now had some sexy Green Day shirts to show off! Sophomore year I also became very good friends with another big Green Day fan who I eventually fell in love with. But that's another story. That I will probably never talk about on here.

On July 11, 2011 I saw them in concert at the Target Center in Minneapolis. I made a t-shirt that said "Tre Cool's #1 Fan" on the front (that man is sexy) and had the band's silhouettes on the back. I got there 2 hours early and slowly nudged my way to the front of the line. When they opened the doors, I SPRINTED to the stage. I got the last place on the rail. To say the least, it was the single best night of my life. Billie Joe smiled at me! And it was magic. Haha. I, being a big mush, cried during "Good Riddance". I will be seeing them again at the beginning of 2013 in Milwakee.

Today? I am still a GIANT fan. When my boyfriend and I started dating almost two and a half years ago, he hated Green Day. He did up until the day we went to "American Idiot: The Musical". Now, it's all he listens to. He has even picked up the guitar and learned many of their songs. What can I say? The fever spreads.

I'm not quite sure how this happened: coincidence, fate, the powers of world finally putting something in my favor, who knows. But UNO! came out on my 21st birthday. Exactly 8 years after I first heard them. I almost made my mom deaf with my scream of seeing it in my mailbox that day. I can't describe my love. They turned me into the person I really wanted to be. They taught me to not give a shit what other people thought of me. I feel proud wearing the 6 or 7 articles of clothing I have of theirs. They changed my life in a way that no one can understand. Their music got me through a lot of shit during my teenage years. I don't know what it is, but whenever I'm feeling down, listening to them will instantly make me feel better. And just say "fuck it" to the problem. My third, and final, tattoo will be a Green Day lyric: "One light, one mind/ flashing in the dark/ blinded by the silence of a thousand broken hearts."

I'm hoping to update this often. But, with my schedule, who knows.

If you read all of that, you're pretty awesome.


Get better Billie Joe <3

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