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My Rage My Love My Life

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Lyrics, novels and occasionally I write about Green Day.

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I’d flown over New York City once. My knowledge extended little further than a night shot from Top of the Rock I’d seen – a view I dreamed one day I would see with my own eyes, or better yet, photograph myself.

On February 22nd, 2011, on a plane stuck in a gate at Heathrow Airport, I wasn’t sure I’d ever get there. After a failed take off, rows of anxious people waited several hours to learn the fate of our flight. The de-icing system was probably alright, the crew said, and we’d try taking off again. We were in the air after two more attempts. When I saw steam coming out of the wing, I was pretty sure we were going to die, or at least miss the evening performance of Green Day’s American Idiot.

Despite my self-reassurance that I’d at least go down for Green Day, we got to New York alive. Signs directed us to the restroom, elevator, told us not to use our cell phones. Welcome to the United States, a recorded voice announced over and over. The queue stretched all around the room; my excitement died down a bit as it moved increasingly slowly, nudging forward every five minutes or so.

Homeland Security were, as always, convinced my mum was a criminal and dragged us into a side room. Today’s excuse was ‘the system isn’t working.’ All we could think of was the show that would begin in a few hours. When they let us go, we ran out of baggage control, into the American air and in a panic, threw our luggage into a yellow cab. It rolled away from the airport, along highways, past dark, sprawling neighbourhoods. As the twilit skyline came into view, for some reason, this foreign place felt like home.

Our panic was unfounded: we made it to the St. James Theatre with half an hour or so to spare. I looked up at the sign that read, in neon lights, St. James: American Idiot. With this trip being very challenging to fund, then all our travel troubles… finally being here was surreal. I was no photographer back then – I just had a crappy (borrowed) phone camera – but I was certainly eager to document it as best as I could.


We wandered across the street, taking it in, and a black car pulled up beside us. Billie Joe Armstrong, arriving to play the character of St. Jimmy, climbed out. We could have tapped him on the shoulder, certainly approached him, but he looked exhausted. It was enough to be reminded that this was real, that we weren’t just going to see our favourite band’s musical, but starring him. We left him alone.

As doors drew closer, the street outside the theatre became a meeting place, packed with excited fans and theatregoers from around the world. People who’d never met, but knew each other from the fan community online, were united for the first time with hugs. The energy there was an experience in itself.


To be honest, I wasn’t sure what to expect of the musical. Part of me expected to hate it, to be disappointed by how it didn’t live up to its iconic inspiration. What were the chances someone could get such a huge venture right?

I knew, as soon as the first song began, that I was wrong.

Tré Cool once described it as closest he’d ever get to seeing Green Day live, and I think that’s pretty accurate. It took the emotion of American Idiot, the live energy of Green Day that no other (living) band can match, and channelled it through a talented and passionate cast. I was seeing, hearing the album that introduced me to Green Day in a way I’d never seen or heard it before. These people sang and danced this every night, twice a day sometimes, but you’d never know it wasn’t their first or final performance. I knew, by Holiday when I was on a visceral journey to a city of dreams with Johnny and Tunny, why people were seeing it countless times.

Watching Boulevard of Broken Dreams and Are We the Waiting, the lights and effects that looked so like New York City itself; these words resonated with me in a way they never had before. A disillusioned teenager, I felt just like Johnny – running from a dirty town burning down in my dreams, to find salvation in these starry nights, city lights of a lost and found city bound in my dreams. I was an English kid with no experience of American culture, but in Favorite Son, watching the dancers in the colours of the stars and stripes, tempting Tunny to join the army – I was as immersed as anyone else.

I couldn’t have imagined this stage any more alive, until the thudding drums that preceded St. Jimmy, when the whole theatre waited with wide eyes; for the roar of ‘one-two-three-FOOOOOUUUUUR!’ that was Billie Joe’s entrance. I couldn’t judge the chorus of screaming fans. His stage presence was overwhelming. I had never imagined St. Jimmy as a small man staggering around, wiping his nose and tossing glitter with a ‘RAWR!’ – but this was him from now on. He was sweet, in a bizarre way that was enticing like the addiction he embodied, but for the same reason, extremely menacing. When he looked out at the crowd, he caught my eye and grinned. It would be hard to forget my stupid hairdo after it showed up in Costa Rica.

I wasn’t sure what to expect of the 21st Century Breakdown songs that were mixed in, either, but Last of the American Girls complimented She’s a Rebel in a way that was more invigorating than the original tracks. Especially when St. Jimmy reappeared, questioning Johnny about whether he’d choose Whatsername or drugs; before climbing the steps to serenade him over a scene of the pair shooting up in Last Night on Earth. The gut-wrenching ballad was followed by the cheery intro of Too Much Too Soon, that showed Heather finally leaving Will – who’d remained in Jingletown getting high, living ‘every waking moment as a means to an end’ – with their newborn child. In Before the Lobotomy, we learned of Tunny’s demise: he laid now in a hospital bed, lamenting days of laughter. Extraordinary Girl was a moving, visceral portrayal of his morphine-induced hallucinations, flying freely with the pretty nurse who treated him.

The lights faded and Johnny was illuminated by a lone spotlight. In a rare moment of lucidity, he picked up his guitar and sang an emotional When It’s Time to a sleeping Whatsername. However, St. Jimmy was never far: Billie Joe’s green eyes seemed luminous as, unblinkingly, they watched the quiet serenade, before he leapt up to yell ‘do you know the enemy?’ at the top of his lungs. Johnny was terrified as Billie Joe ‘rallied up the demons of [his] soul,’ trying to talk him back to drugs; while Will, alone on a couch in Jingletown, asked himself the same question, before insisting ‘there is nothing wrong with me.’ As the song closed, St. Jimmy was in control, separating Johnny and a frightened Whatsername. She was left emotionally beginning 21 Guns, as he laid unconscious on the bed they shared.

In the meantime, a now lucid Tunny was finally aware he lost a leg and his dreams, of fighting for his country, amounted to nothing; while Will lamented now that ‘the hangover doesn’t pass’ and he, too, was left with nothing at all. Johnny sat up, refusing to face Whatsername’s chorus of ‘did you try to live on your own? When you burnt down house and home? Did you stand to close to the fire, like a liar looking for forgiveness from a stone?’ At St. Jimmy’s command, he pinned a letter, telling her he never liked her anyway, on the bathroom door.

As he stumbled away, a now-glamorous Heather reappeared, singing the iconic intro to Letterbomb. This song, now a girl power anthem, belonged to Whatsername. Screaming at Johnny that ‘the St. Jimmy is a figment of your father’s rage and your mother’s love, made me the idiot America,’ her words destroyed them: Billie Joe, wearing a ‘happy birthday’ tiara, was knocked away from Johnny onto a sofa. After Whatsername left him with a cry of ‘I’m leaving you tonight!’ Johnny, Will and Tunny were left with reflection in Wake Me Up When September Ends. As the song closed, screens showed the face of St. Jimmy fading back to Johnny.

By Homecoming, St. Jimmy was left alone, asking ‘please call me only if you are coming home.’ Though it was entirely unrelated to the story, I watched him singing ‘you taught me how to live’ and thought wow, you really, really did. He remained a looming temptation to Johnny; but eventually ‘blew his brains out into the bay,’ with a gun that said ‘bang.’ He flopped from atop the steps into the arms of the mourning swing. Of course, because it was Billie Joe, he looked back and waved as they carried him away. Truly free, Johnny took a dull day job to get home.

Will waited alone on a couch, lamenting that ‘everyone left you, nobody likes you’ until Heather appeared with her new ‘rock ’n roll boyfriend.’ Michael Epser (Will) interrupted ‘and another ex-wife’ with ‘somebody get me a knife’ which isn’t on the cast album, but it should be.

Johnny headed home, reunited with Will and eventually, Tunny, who introduced them to his new girlfriend: his nurse, Extraordinary Girl. Will – having made peace with Heather – introduced them to his newborn. The entire cast, all reunited, finally gathered to sing a roaring chorus of ‘nobody likes you, everyone left you, they’re all out without you, having fun!’

Years later, Johnny had moved on, but still could not forget Whatsername. He could recall nothing but his regrets as she peered out from a window above; only to disappear as he turned around. The shadow of St. Jimmy appeared, too, to disappear before Johnny caught his eye. As the curtain fell, we were left with him wishing desperately to turn back time.

The show ended with a full cast rendition of Good Riddance (Time of Your Life). Looking up at the colourful stage, I was moved beyond anything I could have imagined. I was level with Billie Joe, and he grinned at me and winked. I smiled back, thinking yes, I truly did have the time of my life.


We walked out to a glittering New York night. It was then that I experienced, for the first time, how New York City does not need the stars: it has its own, each one with a story as complex, beautiful and ugly as any up in the sky. Unsure where we were going, just buzzing from the show, we wandered up West 44th Street into Times Square, where the towering buildings dazzled in vibrant colours. I’d never seen so many ads in one place. Shops, hotels and restaurants blared their names out in neon signs, fighting for attention. The air buzzed with countless languages and accents. Scalpers bellowed from corners, still selling tickets for sold-out Broadway shows. Tourists took photos, spilled out from the sidewalks onto the road; cars honked at them to move.


We realised we needed to eat and crashed into the McDonald’s there, where we avidly discussed how good the show was. My favourite part was in Last of the American Girls/She’s a Rebel, when St. Jimmy screamed at Johnny to talk him out of Whatsername. My mum’s was the glitter ‘RAWR!’

The next day, we got very lost searching for the Pokémon Center (now sadly just Nintendo World), which we eventually found with the help of some very kind locals. I wasn’t coming all the way to New York to miss out on catching ’em all, after all.


We acquired Lugia, Flareon and Raikou plushies, who joined us at Top of the Rock. Standing atop this city, looking out over the sea of skyscrapers, was that moment in Are We the Waiting: when that dirty town was burning down in my dreams, searching for the lost and found city bound in my dreams. It wasn’t the glowing nighttime vista I once saw a photo of and dreamed of seeing myself; but I knew, already, that I was in love with New York City, and the show we could not resist returning to later that day. Despite the money we spent on tickets being reserved for food, but who needs to eat when you have Green Day, right?


At the theatre’s box office, the vendor asked if we’d really come from England just for this musical. When we told him yes, he laughed and wished us a great night.

Outside the theatre we met, for the first time, our longtime friend Micheal from Georgia. My mum got to know him when she bought a green 39/Smooth vinyl from him on eBay, and now by pure coincidence, here we were. We also made a new friend, Dao from Venezuela who was studying photography in New York.

A fan since the Insomniac era and Green Day collector, Micheal brought his #001 numbered copy of Dookie on vinyl for Billie Joe to sign. The streets were becoming increasingly packed as he arrived, though, and we couldn’t catch him as he went in.


Employee doors inside the St. James Theatre, painted for American Idiot

Even with a partial view from the mezzanine, the show blew me away. It was as fresh and exciting as the previous night. Before Good Riddance, Billie Joe sang a snippet of Basket Case and dedicated it to ‘a kid that was waiting outside of a record shop in 1994.’ That kid was Lady Gaga, who watched the show from the front row and strutted out in heels that would probably break both of my legs. I texted one of my friends in England, a huge Gaga fan, and she was freaking out too. There was sadly no chance for Micheal’s Dookie now; fans were now leaving well in advance of the show’s close to secure their photos and autographs.


My crappy phone pic of Times Square

The three of us walked back to Times Square, then to the Hard Rock Café where Micheal kindly bought us dinner. We kept ending up back at the Church of Scientology. A sign? I hope not.


West Side Highway: a Pinhead Gunpowder reference

The next day, we were booked on a cruise we got talked into by some guy in Times Square. It’s a good thing the staff were nice, because we got lost and missed our boat. While we waited for the next one, we ate cream cheese bagels in P.D. O’Hurley’s. Maybe it was because we were frozen and it was warm in there, but those things were good. The pale imitations in Tesco do not compare.

While the boat’s captain told stories of a plane that landed in the Hudson River, my mum fell asleep. I woke her up so she could charge out to photograph the Statue of Liberty. One of us had to man our nice window seats, because this thing was as rabid as a Green Day show, except full of tourists with cameras they were confused by.



Later, of course, we went back to the theatre. We only meant to see this bloody thing once. Now we were destined for a diet of soda pop and Walgreen’s crisps (get it?). All that was left were balcony tickets, which were certainly easier on our wallets, though the view wasn’t that good. It was still exciting to see the show from another different angle, and the bad view didn’t change the energy. It didn’t change the raw talent. I found myself relating to the character of St. Jimmy in a way I never had before. Not its literal meaning, but what he represented could be interpreted in a hundred different ways. For me, it was perhaps the ‘demons of your soul’ that he sent to torment Johnny in Know Your Enemy. When I prepared myself for hating this show, I never thought I’d want to see it again and again; let alone that I would leave each night with a different, more personal and emotional interpretation of the album that introduced me to Green Day.

After the show, I accidentally met Rebecca Naomi Jones (Whatsername) and got a brief chance to tell her how incredible she was; which she acknowledged with a smile and gracious thanks. She signed my playbill and so did Michael Esper (Will), who was perhaps my favourite non-Billie cast member, though only by a small fraction. I just loved his voice and his portrayal of Will. My mum’s was Stark Sands, who played Tunny.

February 25th and this was a routine now: wander, theatre, repeat. That evening, I met Michael Esper properly. I was able to tell him he was my favourite, he replied ‘really? Thank you so much!’ and he was kind enough to take a photo with me.

Before every show, the theatre held a ‘lottery’ for $25 front row tickets. We put our names in every time, of course, thinking we’d probably never win anyway; until the lady pulled out the first slip of paper and announced ‘Maria Gloria Harvey?’

I couldn’t help but scream. There was a lady with her daughter who was so happy for us, saying we were huge fans and deserved it. I was shaking and I couldn’t stop laughing. Inside the box office, our friend on the desk served me with a grin. This trip was not getting tired. It was getting better.

I remember in American Idiot, looking up at the stage, just inches away and my face stretched by an ear-to-ear grin; and one of the cast members seeing it as he slammed his fist onto the floor, and smiling back. This was an entirely different experience, where every pivotal moment truly shook me. When Billie Joe stood in front of us in St. Jimmy, he slobbered all down my face. Thanks for that, mate.

It’s hard to describe exactly what this meant to me. To be sitting there in New York, so close to this energy and talent I had fallen totally, unconditionally in love with. Before the curtain fell for the last time, Stark Sands approached my mum and firmly placed his pick in her hand, saying ‘for you.’ Everyone involved treated us with such kindness that I will never forget.


The next day, February 26th, offered both a matinee and evening performance. Our friend in the box office got us decent seats, in a box on the right, but the evening was sold out. That was OK. We would just enjoy the matinee even more.

Looking down from above, I was struck again by Boulevard of Broken Dreams: the imagery of Johnny, alone with his guitar, before the vast city until he finds Whatsername. It was the first Green Day song I ever heard, and I’d overplayed it to the point I never listened to it anymore; yet it was one of my favourite moments of the musical. Van Hughes, who would later play Johnny, played Will this time. I was watching the heartbreaking renditions of 21 Guns and Whatsername with tears in my eyes now. I’m pretty sure I’d sob, a lot, if I ever saw this cast again.

Outside, people were selling tickets for the evening performance, but we were almost out of money. Our haggling was unsuccessful. We were walking away when one of the guys approached us again. My mum asked if we could just buy one. When he heard that, he took pity and reduced them both. We were in.

This was Christina Sajous (Extraordinary Girl)’s last performance, before she went across the street to Baby It’s You. Extraordinary Girl that night was the best so far, and though unrelated, so was Last of the American Girls/She’s a Rebel. That moment I loved so much, when the song is taken over by St. Jimmy – Billie Joe put more gusto into that than he ever had before.

We were planning to go to the party organised by Green Day Community in a nearby bar, but I was sick at this point (the diet of soda pop and Walgreen’s crisps was not a sin I got away with), so we just went to rest. They’d invited Billie Joe and several cast members, though, and they actually showed up! Apparently Billie wanted to be ‘closer to the fans.’



The view from our room: we could see the American Idiot sign

February 27th was not only our last day, but John Gallagher Jr., Michael Esper and Billie Joe’s last, too. After begging the hotel for our deposit back, my mum and I got separate tickets. I was in the side orchestra; she was, according to the usher, in the ‘best seat on Broadway,’ which the guy who sold it to her for $50 clearly didn’t realise. The family next to me asked where I was from and of course, if I’d really come from Nottingham, England just for this. Then when my mum came running down to ask if I wanted to swap tickets, they were like ‘there are TWO of you?!’ We weren’t the only ones, though – people had come from all over the world ‘just for this.’ I stayed with my new friends, who kept asking to hear my accent, anyway.

Last Night on Earth became more emotional every night, as Billie Joe screamed the words louder, from deeper within his heart. With just his raw voice, no glitter, no wiping his nose, St. Jimmy seemed frighteningly human. I not only saw American Idiot in a different light; but also 21st Century Breakdown, my favourite album of all time, that I never imagined could become more than it was.

After the curtain fell, the family asked me if the show was worth it. I said yes, of course, and they agreed.

We were high up in the mezzanine for the final performance. After St. Jimmy, Billie Joe accidentally let out a ‘HEEEY-OOOOOH!’ and despite this having no place on Broadway, the crowd obediently responded ‘HEEEEEEEEY-OOOOOOOOH!’

The applause after St. Jimmy went on and on, until Billie Joe and John gave in and laughed. I’m not sure what the theatregoers who weren’t Green Day fans thought, but oh well. In Homecoming, when Billie drew the St. Jimmy heart on his chest, he stopped halfway and smudged it. It was the little things that made the shows individually special. The whole performance was packed with emotion; both John and Michael cried at points, knowing they were leaving for good. I was desperately trying to take it all in because I knew this was the last time I’d ever see this cast, and possibly any of Green Day for a very long time.

After a tearful Good Riddance, Billie Joe asked Michael if they could play Walking Out On Love, which he’d played for Theo Stockman’s departure the previous month. Michael said yes, so Billie proceeded to sing it into their faces, then kneel down to serenade John. Then they waved goodbye, the curtain fell, and it was all over.


Before our flight, we walked with our bags to the St. James Theatre to see it one last time. Of course, to say goodbye to our friend in the box office, too, who was the only reason we got into most of those shows. Other fans were there, heads bowed, as if paying tribute. It brought tears to my eyes because I knew it meant something different to all of us; but that we were the same in how much it meant to us.

On our flight home, the pilot announced that his name was Captain Heritage. He was very proud of this, and kept repeating it. He also claimed we’d land in London an hour early, before the British Airways flight that just left. To do this, he strayed from the usual route into bad turbulence. The flight staff were thrown around until they had to sit down, quite frightened and yelling at us to keep our seatbelts on at all costs. Anyway, we landed in London late. British Airways had long been at the gate. I’m not quite sure what Captain Heritage was trying to achieve, but he probably shouldn’t try again.

When I opened my bag, I found a note telling me that Homeland Security ‘deeply regretted’ this, but had to break in. Clearly, they thought I was a Pokémon smuggler.

I’d heard rumours that Billie Joe would return to Broadway in April. A woman in the lift at our hotel insisted on it, and so did Annabelle. A few weeks later, it was confirmed. I still haven’t learned to listen to Annabelle. Anyway, this was perhaps the first time in my life I burst into tears of pure joy. We bought tickets for the closing night as soon as we could. Not only would we see Billie Joe as St. Jimmy again, but we would see this incredible show close. As we pieced the money together, we bought tickets for the matinee and the two shows the day before.

Flights were not cheap, though and despite our best efforts, we could not get the remaining money together. After a lot of tears, we sold our tickets. Then, with about 24 hours to spare, we were able to borrow the money. We booked it, threw all we needed in a suitcase, I took a bath, the heating exploded, my mum went to my aunt’s house to dye her hair, we made a run for the bus to the airport… and that is how we went to New York with 24 hours notice.

We arrived just in time for the evening performance, on April 23rd, 2011. As we approached the theatre, someone told us Green Day were rehearsing. Fans had their ears to the wall and soon it was identified as Jesus of Suburbia. None of us knew each other, but we sang along together, before we parted ways to find our seats. On one side of us was Tanya who runs Green Day Mind and on the other, a lady with some flowers for Billie Joe. I hadn’t slept for well over 48 hours at this point. I only realised I’d fallen asleep when I was jolted awake by Billie Joe’s ‘ONE-TWO-THREE-FOOOOOOUR!’

Don’t judge me, I was jetlagged. When the lights illuminated the crowd, Billie spotted us, grinned and yelled ‘oh my GOD!’ which remains one of my favourite ‘what the fuck are you doing here?’ moments. Hi, just got on a plane from England less than 24 hours after booking it, glad u like.

All three leads had now been replaced: Van Hughes now played Johnny, Justin Guarini played Will and David Larsen, on a break from Billy Elliot, played Tunny. I was, yet again, unsure what to expect and, yet again, blown away. Van’s portrayal of Johnny was completely different, yet equally funny and moving for that very reason. Rebecca Naomi Jones still played Whatsername, yet to miss a single performance, but her passion never wavered. I left, as always, with another different take on two of my favourite albums of all time; but perhaps more importantly, knowing that coming to New York for 36 hours, on a flight I booked not that long before, was the right choice.



From left to right: Tony, Ross and Kate from England, Hege from Norway and me

The next day – April 24th, the final two shows – the street outside the theatre was packed from early morning. We met people we’d met in San Francisco, in Paris, in Costa Rica and people we knew, or who recognised me from the online community (at least the hairdo served a purpose). An older man, with tickets to see the show for the first time, kindly offered to take a photo of us when someone said ‘hi.’ We turned to see it was Billie Joe’s wife Adrienne. Other fans screamed as she passed. I suppose our blurry photo has an interesting story behind it.

Thanks to our friend in the box office, we got seats about six rows back. He insisted he could get us better tickets for the evening, too, but we didn’t want to be greedy when the guy we sold them to let us have them back. By pure coincidence, we sat to find the man who took our photo beside us. He was excited now and watched with wide eyes as the stage came alive. This cast wasn’t just a replacement, it was a whole new experience. I loved Van as much as John. Billie Joe was clearly tired, but on fire regardless. Last Night on Earth continued to become ever more emotional. This was the closest I’d ever get to seeing songs like Homecoming live, and it lived up to any expectations I would’ve had if this was Green Day.

Before Good Riddance, Billie Joe knelt down and unfolded a piece of paper. Other cast members peered over his shoulder. No one but Van knew what he was doing. Then together, they began to sing The Beatles’ Two of Us, reading the lyrics from the crumpled page. By the time it sunk in, they were done, standing back up and playing Good Riddance. The man beside us asked if they always do that, and he was pleased when we told him no that his show was special.


Cast members doing the ticket lottery

We hurried off to discuss the show, inevitably ending up in the Times Square McDonald’s. Back at the theatre, cast members Libby Winters (Extraordinary Girl) and Alysha Umphress (swing) did the final ticket lottery. Rumours were flying that Green Day would perform after the show. I would have been content with this – to be there to see this show close.

Rebecca, especially, put her all into her performance like never before. Letterbomb was something else that night. After Good Riddance, cast members and others involved gave speeches on how it all began, what it meant to them, and how it ended up. There was certainly a sadness in the air, since after a year on Broadway, it was finally over.

Then, the stage was cleared. Instruments were set up. Green Day were on stage. Jason Freese sat at a piano, only to be sent back off when Billie Joe changed course. They opened with Only of You. This was surreal. It would not sink in. The lady beside us, obviously an innocent theatregoer, was very confused and slightly concerned as everyone around her leapt to their feet.

Their second song was Murder City, then Holiday. The cast were on the stage. John was crowd surfing. Billie later told him to ‘go back to Jerusalem’ (the musical he left American Idiot for). He then made a speech which later appeared, slightly modified, in the deluxe version of ¡Uno!: ‘Keep your fucking heart young, goddammit. Keep it fucking all comfy all the time. Don’t fucking stop, there’s a reason why that hand is holding the heart. It just keeps squeezing that motherfucker ’til it still bleeds, every goddamn day.’

After a random cover of the Spiderman theme, Billie Joe announced ‘we’re gonna play a cover song. Very significant right now. Every time someone’s left alone, we play this song.’ Because of course, they couldn’t end the show without Walking Out On Love (which they played several times in a row at a party later).

They closed with Jesus of Suburbia. It was perhaps appropriate that this show ended how Johnny’s journey begins: you’re leaving, you’re leaving home. I’m not sure many Broadway shows can claim they sent an entire theatre into singing, dancing, crowd surfing hysteria.


The St. James Theatre being redecorated, the day after American Idiot closed


And that was that. Or so it seemed. Is this the end or the beginning? All I know is, she was right. I am an idiot. It’s even on my birth certificate, in so many words.

This is my rage.

This is my love.

This is my town.

This is my city.

This is my life.


I got on stage, appeared on TV in Iowa, nearly got arrested in Vegas and finally made it to Oakland. This is the story of a dream I've had since I was 12 years old.

My Rage, My Love, My Life #4: Champaign to Vegas

Flight DY7015 touched down in New York on March 25, 2017.

It had been six years, but the airport still looked exactly the same. There were still only three people manning passport control. My mum, Joy, still got dragged off into a side room for no apparent reason.

We waited an hour in the cold for a shuttle bus that never came; ended up getting in someone else’s bus and paying the driver to take a detour. Police were arresting someone in the motel reception as we arrived, and the air was thick with the smell of weed. This was a quick stop before we headed to Champaign, because it was cheaper that way, but I’ll take any excuse to see my favourite city again.

So the next day we took the subway into Manhattan, where someone had done two huge turds that sent everyone running out and into the next carriage. We followed, only to end up opposite the culprit. My rage, my love, some faeces.

Google Maps had sent us miles out of the way. We didn’t want to pay for the subway again, so we decided to walk and saw the 9/11 memorials, then accidentally found Brooklyn Bridge before walking back and on to Times Square.

As I looked out over the skyline that evening, my feet already aching, I had a feeling these were going to be the best three weeks ever.


Brooklyn Bridge


The foggy skyline


I wanted to take this photo since I was a kid with a cheap camera, looking at pretty night shots and wondering if I’d ever see that view with my own eyes


The St. James Theatre, six years after Green Day’s American Idiot closed on Broadway there


My imagination runs away, on this 8th Avenue Serenade 🎶


New York streets


Times Square

A bus dropped us on a curb in Champaign, Illinois. Dim streetlights were reflected on the damp pavements as it began to rain. The transport Google Maps brought up in the warmth of my home was absent now. Apparently it was a two mile walk. We walked five times that in New York, so we began dragging my mum’s suitcase through blocks of telegraph poles, neon fast food signs, gas stations and not much else.



Rainy streets in Champaign, Illinois

When we arrived at our hotel I unpacked my camping gear, ready to head to the State Farm Center. Before I could even use the toilet it flooded the room. I frantically grabbed my belongings, shoving them back in, then escaped with my underwear on a luggage trolley. By the time I unpacked it in the new room, it was clear I had food poisoning and wouldn’t be camping any time soon. Reluctantly I went to bed, hoping to sleep it off and setting my alarm for 5am.

Not feeling much better when I woke up, I skipped breakfast and hurried to the venue, where I was #34 in line.


Champaign line, late morning: the first tent had apparently been there since noon the previous day

I met old friends I’d made on the 2013 tour and new friends too. Caitlin from Indiana offered heart grenade cookies she baked for the show. I’m still sad I couldn’t try one, because the two of us ended that night being connected in a way neither of us could ever have imagined.


From left to right: Traci, Caitlin and Jen from Indiana, Nikki from Chicago, me, Nikki’s sister Jena (behind the pillar) and Fran from England. Lisa from Missouri is wrapped in the duvet.


Caitlin, who I first met at a show in Rosemont, IL in 2013, with the cookies she painstakingly bakes for every show she attends

My mum joined me later in the day. It was her birthday and I’d done something I swore I wouldn’t do: I’d bought the VIP package for her. Believe it or not, she’d seen Green Day, in Illinois, on her birthday once before and it went horribly wrong. Since then she’d become disabled and this may well have been her last tour in the pit. So I swallowed my hatred of the VIP concept and shelled out purely for the early entry, barely eating for a month afterwards as my bank balance recovered. She was led inside an hour or so before us. I texted her to ask if she’d got her spot, but I didn’t hear anything back.

When doors opened for us, the line turned to chaos. People who’d just arrived rushed the doors. There were elbows in my back and arms. As soon as security let me go I sprinted off into the stampede that led down the steps and onto the floor. I spotted my mum’s leopard print scarf in her favourite spot and crashed into her with such relief I could have cried. $400 well spent; even more so when the VIP next to her told me with a smile that she was going to find her son and offered me her spot. Others led me to expect the VIPs to be rude, entitled and unreasonably rich, but none were. I’m forever grateful to that lady and I wish I’d got her name so I could thank her properly.

We made friends with Scott, the security guy manning our area of the barrier, who was both confused and amused by these English girls who’d come to Champaign, Illinois to see a band.

It was another dream of mine to see one of my ‘second favourite’ bands open for Green Day, but I’d always figured it’d never happen. Now I was there, in America, watching Against Me! open for them. I’d partially lost my voice before Green Day even took the stage.

When the Drunk Bunny stumbles offstage and The Good, the Bad and the Ugly is playing, and I know I am about to see Green Day again, it’s like the butterflies of first love. I feel sick and giddy and my heart is pounding all at once. Billie Joe ran onstage first, running to and fro, then Tré pirouetting by his kit, then Mike Dirnt. Billie stood atop the amps, drawing roars from the crowd with flicks of his wrists. Then he was yelling ‘Champaign, Illinois!’ and Tré began playing Know Your Enemy.

‘I need some help! Who knows the lyrics to the song? Who knows the lyrics? Who knows it?’

I don’t know what made me raise my hand. I’d never wanted to go up and lose my spot in the first song, and Billie wouldn’t pick me anyway – he’d tried several times in the past and I’d chickened out and changed my mind. He glanced at me, pointed and walked off again. When he came back, he pointed at Lindsey, a lady my mum queued with, then me.

‘She knows it?’

Maybe I was overtired, or maybe it was just time.

‘Alright, get your ass up here! C’mon!’

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Video by David Hardy

I heard my mum shouting ‘oh my God!’ and Billie was grinning as Scott and Arturo, one of Green Day’s crew, hauled me over the barrier. Arturo lifted me onto the catwalk. I thought Billie was on the main stage. I stepped up and my legs immediately gave way. Only I could get on stage and fall over. I’d figured by then that Billie was actually on the catwalk. When I was back on my feet he beckoned. His face lit up with a grin as I ran and he held out his arms to hug me. It was one of the warmest hugs anyone has given me. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that.

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Videos by David Hardy / lindsaybunny

Then I was standing in front of 16,000 people in Champaign, Illinois, barely noticing the pyros exploding as I screamed ‘gimme gimme REVOLUTION!’ in an incredibly English accent; wearing a shirt from a Manchester show in 2009 with my coat still tied around my waist.


I walked back up the catwalk, knowing I had to stage dive. Billie was gesturing to the crowd to make sure they caught me. I could see Eddie and Arturo holding out their arms in case I didn’t jump far enough. Fear paralysed me and it crossed my mind to tell Billie I couldn’t do it… but I ran. I jumped.


Photo by Kelly Griglione

Illinois caught me. It wasn’t scary. Crowd surfing was fun. I told my mum afterwards ‘I could sleep well in that position.’People high-fived and congratulated me as my feet hit the floor. It was packed and I didn’t want to be push after I’d been on stage, so I went to the side. Someone took a selfie with me and another guy bought me a beer.

I must have relived it a hundred times over in my head as I sang along and Billie yelled ‘Thank God for Champaign, Illinois!’ over and over and I thought, yes, thank God for Champaign, Illinois. Then in Knowledge, he pulled Caitlin up to play guitar! I was screaming so loud for her! Some guy was telling me ‘that sure beats what you did!’ and I was just shouting ‘that’s my friend Caitlin!’ She was amazing and now we’re forever stage sisters.


Once the show was over I rushed to find my mum and my friends again. As we walked out, several people grabbed me to ask what Billie smelled like. Then my mum realised she’d forgotten to pick up the crap that came with her VIP ticket and ran off in a panic to find it. In the meantime I bumped into Scott and he hugged and congratulated me. Outside, we said goodbye to Fran before going our separate ways to sleep before our journey to Green Bay tomorrow.

Putting my hand up to sing with Green Day that night was, without a doubt, one of the best decisions I have ever made. Over the last seven years Billie has made me feel so welcome as he’s smiled with me, laughed with (or at) me and always remembered me, and I have no doubt that he knew what it meant to me. For that, for everything, I cannot thank him, Mike and Tré enough.

I once was scared to death to live. Now I am afraid of nothing.


Being candid in Champaign-Urbana Bus Station, though the guy behind us wins the candid award


On the Greyhound to Chicago


Chicago from the Greyhound

If you want an authentic Greyhound experience, Chicago Greyhound Station is the place to go. All Greyhound stations are a bit weird, but none of them are quite like Chicago. When we got off the bus, a lady was struggling to carry a large stereo and wasn’t sure if she could even take it on the next bus. I ended up helping her carry it into a back room. The staff said she’d have to pay $40 to have it on the next bus, so she told them they could just keep it and they eventually let her off. We really bonded over the experience. She met my mum and we agreed we’d go to Haiti together one day.


Searching for Mexican food during our next layover in Milwaukee, WI


‘Let’s take a photo with the skyline to remember that time we went looking for Mexican food in Wisconsin’

Our next transfer was in Milwaukee, where we had a while to wait for our last bus to Green Bay. None of us had eaten, so Fran and I went in search of cheap Mexican food. Google Maps directed us to Conejito’s. We hoped it would be a cheap takeaway, but it was a proper restaurant. What a let down Conejito was. We wandered down increasingly dodgy streets until we came to Food Mart. A sign on the door told us only three students were allowed inside at one time. There were only two of us, so we went in. Fran bought their last loaf of bread and I stocked up on their three for 50¢ honey buns. Mission complete.


Celebrating the acquisition of Pan o Gold bread in Milwaukee Bus Station

We arrived to another damp night in Green Bay, Wisconsin. The venue was down the road from Lambeau Field. Green Bay Packers signs were everywhere. Our Uber driver told us that earlier he’d given rides to the ladies who prepared Green Day’s hotel rooms. My mum asked him if Green Bay has a city centre or anything else to see and he said no, there’s just the Green Bay Packers. I was really getting into the Packers. Partly to annoy my fiancée, since they’re a huge Oakland Las Vegas Raiders fan and hate the Pack. Also partly because when I was looking for cheap accommodation in Green Bay, all I got were photos of people in cheese hats. Now I was also in Green Bay to see Green Day, so why not? It was contagious. Fran was getting into them too. Go Pack Go.

First in line was Josh from Chicago, who’d also been to Champaign. He was 100% prepared with a huge tent and camping gear, but he didn’t want to set it all up just for himself, so our arrival was perfect. He definitely saved us from freezing to death, because it continued to rain and eventually snowed. Instead of dying we just chilled out in The Tent.


In The Tent with Josh from Chicago, who we’d just met (note the Packers sign in the top right corner)


In my bivvy bag in The Tent


Tents in Green Bay, WI

The snow was falling at full force in the morning. Our tent appeared on TV while we stayed inside as long as we could, before taking a brief trip to Taco Bell and Walmart. Neither me nor Fran had ever been to a Walmart before. What an experience.


Walmart in Green Bay: full of glorious Packers merchandise

I picked up my tickets when we got back. This was the first time I’d done will call and when I passed the lady my burgundy passport, her jaw dropped and with a grin she asked if I’d really come from the UK just for a band. I said yes and she grabbed at her colleagues, shouting ‘she’s come all the way from the UK just for this show!’ before she laughed and wished me a wonderful night.

The tent was stowed away, thermals were removed and we were lined up inside shortly before doors. It was a reasonably short run to the pit. GO! YOU PACKERS! GO! We made front row in the spots we wanted, in front of Mike. Seeing Against Me! open for Green Day was perhaps even more exciting and emotional than it was in Champaign. It was surreal – I was there, one of my favourite bands was opening for Green Day and at that moment, nothing could have made me any happier.

The novelty of Green Day in Green Bay wasn’t lost on the band. Billie repeatedly announced that this was Green Day’s first time in Green Bay. They registered with wide eyes, as surprised as us, that this was one of their loudest crowds yet. The roar of the 7,797 fans in attendance rivalled a stadium and it fed back to the band, who played even more passionately than usual.

‘Rise up, Wisconsin! Wisconsin! America! America!’ Billie yelled, clutching the American flag as the lights cut out. I should have been at uni in England. Instead I was in Green Bay, Wisconsin, watching Billie Joe hold up the stars and stripes, alight under the spotlight. I don’t know what that meant to American fans, but to me, it was the realisation of a dream I’d had since I was 12 years old.

The lack of cameras pleased him – a rare occurrence – as he exclaimed he couldn’t see any, and ‘we all need to rub up against each other and throw up in the taxi home.’ As we yelled approval for ‘she’s the cedar in the trees of WISCONSIN!’ we were all the same, from Wisconsin or England. I’d been smiling like a twat since Champaign, but Billie just smiled back with the same enthusiasm. In Still Breathing, he took a studded denim jacket from the crowd and wore it for the rest of the show.

From that crowd to the editing of the Green Day sign so it said Green Bay, this was one of my favourite shows ever. The only disappointment was that no-one threw a Cheesehead on stage.


Green Bay the next day

We couldn’t get tickets to the St. Paul show, so my mum and I had two days in Green Bay. Fran and Josh asked what the hell we were going to do. I wasn’t entirely sure. My mum knew there was a river somewhere and thought that would be a good destination, so we embarked upon a mission to find that and pasta, walking through endless streets that looked like the one above. Lots of Packers flags – beautiful. Of course, the snow had disappeared completely now we weren’t lining up for Green Day.

We accidentally found the National Railroad Museum, which made me think of my grandpa who was a train driver and passed away the previous year. I was too cheap to go in, of course, but I hoped he was nodding appreciatively at this museum in Wisconsin. Eventually we found the river by walking into someone’s backyard without realising, but it wasn’t much of a view…


Phone pic ft. distant river, because this was apparently the only one I took

Having truly experienced the height of tourism, we set a new course to Target, where we could find pasta. We’d walked past the same guy, enjoying beers in the sun for what was apparently his birthday, twice and the third time, he invited us to join him. Sadly, we were tired and hungry so we left our new friend behind. I hope he enjoyed his birthday.

A few miles, a hill and lots more Packers flags later, we located Target and acquired pasta. More importantly, though, I was sure there must be Packers merch somewhere in this store. After wandering for a while and getting lost in the kids’ section, we found a small selection. I weighed up the prices and how awful it was, planning to take the ugliest shirt imaginable back to England, but alas, I was swayed by the lower price of a glittery NFL Teens shirt. Who cares? I had a Packers shirt! From Green Bay!


Walking back via Lambeau Field


Green Day confetti outside Lambeau Field, two days after the show

Before we left the next day we went to Lambeau Field, where everyone thought we’d come from England just to see Lambeau Field. We had our photo taken with cheese, got certificates commemorating our first visit and overall, experienced true Packers bliss. No, seriously – I could not have been any happier than I was wandering the streets of Green Bay with my best friend and accidentally getting into an American football team, having slept in the snow and seen my favourite band.




This is my town, this is my city, this is my life?


Waiting at Green Bay Bus Station, where there was a huge argument in the office, for our Indian Trailways bus back to Milwaukee

It was about 15 hours to Des Moines, with transfers in Milwaukee and Chicago. The last bus, an overnight Burlington Trailways one, was going to Omaha. We had an interesting driver, who kept shouting ‘thaaaaank you for travelling with Buuuuurlington Traaaaaailways’ and gave out free water. On the way we passed the Iowa 80 Truck Stop, which is apparently the biggest in the world. People think I’m seeing the sights they’ve always dreamed of. I’m not quite sure they understand.

It was about 6am when we arrived at Des Moines Bus Station, which was basically a hut in a parking lot. Neither of us had slept and our Airbnb was miles away, so we called an Uber. The parking lot emptied as we waited. Eventually a pickup truck pulled up and I realised that was the Uber. Wow, now we were getting in a pickup truck. The driver asked where we were going to check we weren’t ‘going to Ames or anything, because people pull that all the time.’ I had no idea what he was talking about, and was thinking that I once took an Uber from Kraków to Prague… but I was pretty sure we weren’t going to Ames, so I went with it.

This was my first Airbnb. The street was still dark when we tried to go in the wrong door and then got in at the back. I felt like an inefficient burglar. Everything was silent inside. I wasn’t sure which room was ours, and after almost walking in on someone snoring, we decided to sit on the sofa and wait for our host to let us know.


One of my favourite tour photos: trying to sleep on a couch in Iowa

He woke up quite soon and honestly, I had no idea what to expect from an Airbnb, but Tony was the best. He made us feel so welcome. After getting 89¢ pasta in the store he recommended, I went for a nap because I wasn’t feeling great. I woke up with a dog on top of me at one point, which really improves the story, then my mum came to get me because Tony’s girlfriend was cooking and invited us to join them. I’m sad I still felt ill so I never got to try any of it, but at least my mum was having fun down there.

Later Tony drove us to the Pappajohn Sculpture Park, so we could see that and then walk to the Wells Fargo Arena. We passed Green Day’s buses on the way. Didn’t bother them, obviously, but maybe I should have poked my head in and said ‘hi guys, just about to go and sleep on the street for you.’


A Packers hat, Sonic leggings, the Des Moines skyline and the venue Green Day played in one photo. What more could you want?


The Wells Fargo Arena


Outside the arena


#3 in line, Des Moines, Iowa

We were 3 and 4 in line, behind Shannon from Iowa City and her son Levi. An hour or so later Fran arrived with Sara from Spain, who’d come on the Greyhound from Chicago with pizza. She offered me a slice so I took it. Of course, I’m lactose intolerant, so that really wasn’t a good idea. Me and Fran eventually decided to go in search of toilets. We were heading for the Holiday Inn we could see in the distance, but ended up at the Mercy Hospital instead. What would happen if we went into a hospital at midnight to use the toilet? We were about to try it when we saw a sign on the door saying only patients could enter after visiting hours. SAD. Next up was McDonald’s, which was closed. We considered another entrance to Mercy and then we saw it – a gas station called Quiktrip! Outside a policeman was clicking his gun and staring at us as we approached. Our experience became ever more American. The toilets were just open! I love Quiktrip. I recommend a visit if you’re ever in Des Moines.

We got lost on our way back, walking into a dead end that we realised afterwards said ‘NO ENTRY’ but we eventually made it. Rain was beginning to fall, so we arranged umbrellas donated by Tony to cover us. The pizza was still tormenting me, but I was so tired I pretty much passed out and I actually slept nice and cosy in my bivvy bag.

Despite the bivvy bag, though, I was still soaked when I woke up. Me and Fran made another Quiktrip to our favourite gas station to get food and use the best toilets, then went to get our tickets. In the line we met J’net from Oklahoma, who I first met in Costa Rica in 2010. We found out she was the original owner of my Brussels ticket and Fran’s Amsterdam ticket, and there we were meeting in Iowa.

When we got back to the line a TV crew was freaking out over my mum, trying to attach a mic to her coat so they could interview her. A 58 year-old English lady who’d come to Iowa to see Green Day! They took a photo and filmed us too, so now I can say I’ve been on TV in Costa Rica and Iowa. Life goals = achieved?


A rainy afternoon in Des Moines, ft. Tony’s umbrella, a bivvy bag, camping chair and English people

Before doors, Shannon kindly let us dry off, get changed and store Tony’s umbrella’s in her room at the Holiday Inn we couldn’t find before. When they opened the doors and held us at the turnstiles, the staff were – as usual – confused by why we were so nervous. The way to the pit was unclear and they’d opened multiple entrances. Once I was on the floor, though, I spotted Sara in front of Mike and crashed onto the barrier next to her. J’net was nice enough to let my mum in later and I swapped with Fran so I could be next to her. Sleeping in the rain = success.


I stole this photo from Sara

Des Moines was probably where Against Me! got the best reception. One of the VIPs was actually singing every word along with me. I was so thrilled they were playing Dead Friend every night and that I got to scream along to I Was A Teenage Anarchist before Green Day. I never got bored of hearing Laura Jane Grace tell her story about how Green Day had influenced her as a child. It was the most sincere and real speech I’d ever heard from a support band.

I ached a bit, had snuffles, was still calming down from the entry process and my socks were most likely wet again. The only thing that mattered, though, was singing my heart out, raising my arms up ‘to testify’ in Revolution Radio, beside my best friend with a passionate crowd behind me.

I remember having both arms in the air, singing ‘are we, we are, the waiting unknown / this dirty town is burning down in my dreams / the lost and found city bound in my dreams.’ The first time that line really resonated with me was when I saw American Idiot on Broadway – I felt like Johnny, Will and Tunny, a life I wanted to escape burning down in my dreams, searching for the city of my dreams. I could still recall that but it was different now. That city could have been Des Moines, it could have been Kraków, but I had found it: it existed for two and a half hours in a packed room, the phone screens and lighters that illuminated the arena were as bright and beautiful as any city lights. I opened my eyes and saw Billie and Mike laughing. It’s OK, guys, I knew I looked like the woman at that Jesse Malin show who pushed to the front just to dramatically sing two lines of Lucinda.

In King for a Day Billie announced ‘oh, I need a cigarette.’ Then in Still Breathing he reappeared in a personalised version of the jacket he took (and had to give back) in Green Bay. I am quite honoured to have witnessed the rise of the Forever Now Jacket.

I found this compilation video from Des Moines and it really hits me like a punch in the gut, seeing myself on the front row, singing all night with the 16,000 people behind me. It’s still hard to believe any of this actually happened, but I guess that lost and found city really isn’t just in my dreams, not anymore.

After the show, my phone had died so we couldn’t call an Uber, but we didn’t know the way back to Tony’s house. I tried waving at approaching cars and eventually one stopped. When the lady heard our accents, she launched into a rant about how there are too many Muslims in London. She had never been to London. I’m still quite surprised we got back to Tony’s alive. At 4am, Fran messaged me to let me know my mum was on TV in Des Moines Bus Station.


The ultimate in life goals achieved: Joy on TV in Des Moines Bus Station (iconic photo by Fran)


Me and Sara at Des Moines Airport

The next day, Tony kindly drove us to Des Moines Airport and we said goodbye. I felt like I had a home to return to in Iowa. If you’re ever in Des Moines, you need to stay with Tony.

Sara was also on our Frontier flight to Denver, which was a few hours delayed. Some people said it was bad weather, others said it’s always delayed. When we finally arrived in Denver, we got so lost looking for the airport bus that we considered an Uber. Eventually a guy from Idaho (I think?) saved us. Snow was falling, in piles all around us and the ground was icy when we got off the bus in Broomfield. We were planning to camp, but we didn’t know if there was room for us in the tents, and it was unlikely many people would show up until the morning. We decided to sit this one out and just went to our Airbnb.

At 7am we headed back out. The line was a little longer; I think we were 11, 12 and 13. We met a couple we’d met before, at the Shoreline Amphitheatre in 2010. Sara tried to sleep on her air mattress while I chatted to George from Colorado, about video games and what songs we’d like to see most. Soon the staff put up barriers and moved us into four lines.


Fan art on the pavement before the show in Broomfield, CO



The line in Colorado


The 1stBank Center, Broomfield, CO

I made it to the barrier on Jason’s side and managed to save spots for my mum and George (that was my best barrier spread of all time, actually). It wasn’t long until the whole room reeked of weed. We were getting the full Colorado experience.

2000 Light Years Away was one of my favourite songs to see on this tour. I’d been in a long distance relationship for six years (seven now) and not going to lie, every time I would sing ‘I hold her malachite so tight, I’ll never let go, ‘cause she’s 6000 light years away.’ Billie often caught my eye, smiled and sang with me. Of course he had no clue about my thoughts, nor me of his, but it was wonderful to share that regardless. He is not just talking crap in his speeches about how music brings people together. I remember singing along to Waiting and it occurring to me that I, and hundreds of others there I’m sure, had waited a long time for this moment to come; and Billie singing those lyrics back at me too. I had woken up and thanked my lucky stars and I was living my dream.

Being an English kid singing American Idiot in America is a strange feeling. Like I don’t really belong there, but also like I’m part of something completely alien to me at the same time. Green Day have that effect.

George loved the show too and was glad we went for the front row rather than the catwalk. We said goodbye and went back to our Airbnb, before our flight to Vegas for our final show.


The bus stop in Broomfield


Las Vegas from the plane

It was dark when we took off from Denver. The Las Vegas strip was a ribbon of light below as the plane descended. I had never wanted to go to Vegas, so of course I ended up there for Green Day. There was a long walk through a casino and food court to reach the MGM Grand Garden Arena. So far, Vegas was very strange. When we finally found it, we met Cheryl from Australia who we’d previously met in Costa Rica and New York, and we were back with Sara and Fran.


The casino we had to walk through to find the line

A security guy soon told us we had to leave. He insisted we had no idea what shows in Vegas were like and that people came from all around the world (apparently he didn’t notice that we had, but I’m not sure what the relevance was anyway), then eventually that we could gather in the food court and line up outside at 7:30am. First we wandered outside and I don’t remember this, but Sara says she went to speak to some prostitutes thinking they were homeless and might know where we could sleep, and I tried to stop her but it was Too Late. It looked like the food court was the only option. I considered sleeping in a toilet cubicle and Sara went for it, but I didn’t want to risk the guy finding me and throwing me out for good, so the rest of us went to the food court.


Me and Fran in the food court

I was exhausted and fell asleep without even realising. I woke to screaming in my ear that I was going to be arrested. A woman claiming to be a manager was yelling and waving her arms. Apparently we’d all be arrested if we didn’t move. Sara’s pillow was on the table and she was pointing at me and screaming ‘that girl even has a pillow!’ We tried to explain that the other guy told us it was the only place we could line up, and eventually she agreed we could stay as long as we were awake. If we fell asleep, the cops were coming. Sara eventually reappeared, having had a mediocre nap in the cubicle. Katy Perry’s Roar was playing over and over on the speakers. This was bad. The others remember a constant stream of Johnny B. Goode but all I remember is Roar. I have nothing against you, Katy, but please never roar within a 10 mile radius of me, ever again. In the end I must have fallen asleep for another 15 minutes and when I woke up, Yaz and Becky from England had arrived. A while later, Traci who we’d met in Champaign joined us, too. At 7am we decided to live on the edge and go outside 30 minutes early.


The line in Vegas, 8am


The road back to the venue when I went to find (reasonably priced) food


Green Day poster in the MGM Grand, where we first tried to line up and got kicked out

After going to find food that wasn’t $30 for a small portion, my mum and I were taking photos of the Green Day posters on our way back when we found lizziebix and her husband. We first met her at a show in Rosemont in 2013 after knowing her for a while on GDC, and were reunited in Vegas with big hugs.

Back at the line, the British crew was joined by GDC's Second Favourite Son. There were now six of us and a flag. I guess it’s not untrue that people come to Vegas from around the world for shows…


The British Crew from left to right: Becky, Yaz, Fran, Second Favourite Son, me and Joy (photo by Second Favourite Son’s dad)


The line in Vegas: getting longer


Joy and Fran in the line


Everyone, as known on GDC: Lauren, lizziebix, sara_gd, BeachBum, Dirty Rotten Bastard, Yaz., basketcase4933, solongfromthestars, Second Favourite Son and finally, Taylor and Becky who I don't believe are on GDC (photo also by Second Favourite Son’s dad)


Last photo of the line before I took my camera back

We were lined up beside the VIPs an hour before doors. VIP was sold out here, which meant 100 people in front of us. We weren’t sure how this would work out and watched them running in nervously. Our security friend from the previous night said hello, then a guy called Bill made a speech about how he understood how long we’d been there, and would be making sure we were let in fairly. Doors opened and I expected a stampede, but Bill really did stop it as best as he could. I was in and ran for my life. I ducked and dodged security and other fans and ran and ran until I was spread over the barrier in front of Mike. My fellow Europeans followed in a row. Maybe some of the VIPs didn’t show up, but who cares, we got amazing spots. Despite the food court experience, I was genuinely impressed with the staff at doors.


On the barrier

This was the last time I’d see Against Me! with Green Day – probably the last time I’d ever see one of my second favourite bands open for them. I was so tired I felt like I might melt into the metal of the barrier, but it didn’t stop me screaming I Was A Teenage Anarchist until I could barely breathe. Then they were gone, the Drunk Bunny was on, we were all singing Blitzkrieg Bop; The Good, the Bad and the Ugly was playing, Tré was on, then Mike – wearing the Otis jacket – then Billie. I felt like I was still asleep in the food court, dreaming when Billie yelled ‘Las Vegas, Nevada!’ and we all raised our arms in response. My voice was hoarse and my arms ached as I sang along to Revolution Radio. Billie began the Holiday bridge with ‘Nevada, Nevada, place your bets!’ After Youngblood, he reluctantly announced ‘I’m kind of getting used to this Las Vegas Raiders thing’ before adding ‘fuck you I’m from Oakland.’ A permanent smile was plastered on my face at this point, even when he attacked us all with his stupid water hose in 2000 Light Years Away.

I don’t know if it’s inappropriate to bring this up – or to say this at all – but seeing Still Breathing here was incredibly moving, because this was the very same arena where the iHeartRadio meltdown happened. I avoid saying I’m proud of Green Day because I’m not sure if it’s even a fan’s place to be, but I was. It was a metaphor to me even about myself, that I made it through against the odds to experience this wonderful tour and so did my band. We were all the same. If that’s what Billie wanted when he wrote the song – for it to be an anthem that brings us all, from every walk of life, together – he achieved it in my eyes more than I can even explain.

I screamed my heart out to Forever Now with all the love and happiness my heart could hold. It was a thing at this point that no matter where I stood, Billie would sing ‘I want a new conspiracy and the silence of a thousand cries’ at me, and I would scream it back.

Ordinary World resonated with me in a way it hadn’t before. People assume I have it all, because I’ve travelled, as they assume the lines ‘baby I don’t have much / but what we have is more than enough’ are insincere coming from Billie Joe, because he has money and fame. In reality, I have my mother, my fiancée, the adventures I’ve had through Green Day and very little else. None of it is even as perfect as it seems. I don’t know what the future holds, and there will be times I struggle to carry on again. But one thing I knew, then, is that those dreams of a better life – I didn’t need them anymore. Because what I have, these memories that will be with me forever, is more than enough.

As Billie played the first chords of Good Riddance, there were tears streaming down my face. When I stood atop of New York, thinking these would be the best three weeks ever; still that child looking off on the horizon, the son raised without a father aside the mother barely keeping it together, who dreamed an impossible dream of following Green Day across the United States… I had no idea that the realisation of that dream would be as absolutely wonderful and dare I say, life changing, as it was. I can never thank Green Day enough for what they have given me, from inspiration to adventure to happiness I never imagined possible. I love this band and all they have enabled me to do and feel with all my heart. I am not a sappy person and do not express my emotions lightly (believe it or not), and this is the raw truth.


I’m still alive


After the show. Photo stolen from Yaz. I don’t remember who took it (sorry)

Many of our friends were carrying on to the last show in San Diego while we stayed in Vegas. I would have loved to join them, but it just wasn’t financially possible. We said our goodbyes outside and headed back to America’s Best Value Inn for some well-earned rest.


Tour was over, but the adventure wasn’t. To get the cheapest flight home, we were staying in Vegas a few days and then flying to Oakland. Perhaps Vegas and its overpriced food courts were not my dream destination, but I learned to enjoy this place Green Day brought me to as we wandered the streets, into shops where we couldn’t afford anything; found the Vegas sign; discovered ABC Stores, the cheapest place on the strip and most importantly, I may have been too cheap to go inside the Shark Reef Aquarium, but I managed to draw out my bank balance twice (at a store called Super Liquor) in order to buy Vegas the Shark from the gift shop.


Palm trees ft. Super Liquor



Sunset in Vegas




In the Vegas lights, swimming with the SHARKS until we drown (soz that isn’t even Green Day)

On our last day, we escaped Vegas on a bus for $4 and set out on a search for Clark County Wetlands Park. We couldn’t afford any exciting day trips, but I was determined we would see something. It was quite a good idea, actually.



Clark County Wetlands Park


Walking back to the bus stop

We left Vegas early in the morning. Even the airport was Vegassy. What a bizarre place. Anyway, even though Annabelle, my fiancée, is from Oakland I had never been (we met at a Green Day show in Birmingham, apparently thanks to my hair, which was a luminous red frizzball at the time). After six years it was finally my turn to be looking around as I walked out of arrivals before running into their arms.

They took us first to Lake Merritt, while they gave us directions on what to do if someone pushed us in, before a tour of the best places to get shot. A city council guy pulled up on a tractor to ask my mum for a cigarette, we passed a man saying to himself ‘gonna round all the girls like in World War II, then kill ’em all, boom!’ and another passionately singing as he wandered around. Not so different to Nottingham, I guess.


You wouldn’t even know Oakland is a shithole!

Next up was Rudy’s Can’t Fail Café at the Fox Theater. This was completely surreal. I was in Oakland. Eating at Mike Dirnt’s café.




Rudy’s Can’t Fail Café

The Fox Theater is not just a historic building in Oakland, but a stop on my dream Green Day tour too: it’s where they played the iconic third show of the 21st Century Breakdown Tour, one of the only times they played the album in full. 21st Century Breakdown is my favourite album of all time, containing my favourite song of all time (¡Viva La Gloria!), and the only album I will ever claim changed my life. It was also where February 19th was declared ‘Official Green Day Day’ in Oakland, during a celebration of Dookie in 2016.


The Fox Theater

We walked on up Telegraph Avenue (the Avenue in Stuart & the Ave.) until we came to 40th Street. Broken Guitars, the guitar store Billie Joe co-owns with Bill Schneider is here, along with 1-2-3-4 GO! Records; where Billie Joe built the stage with his son Joey and Green Day played an early show for ¡Uno! ¡Dos! ¡Tré!. It was later where the pop-up shop for their Oakland Coliseum show was. They had Insomniac on cassette and I was tempted to buy it, but I eventually went for a 1-2-3-4 GO! Records shirt instead.


Broken Guitars



1-2-3-4 GO! Records

We briefly went to see Lake Merritt at night before getting back. Annabelle was pretty sure we were going to get killed. Very romantic. We planned to order pizza, but ended up eating Tostitos instead.



Nightfall in Oakland


Fuck you I’m from Oakland England. Photo stolen from Annabelle.


West Oakland Station, the station in Welcome to Paradise (‘a gunshot rings out at the station’), from the BART

On our final full day we took the BART to San Francisco. I wanted to see Golden Gate Bridge again and take my Tails action figure to Mission Street before we left. The Bay (80) Bridge is a Green Day sight too – it’s where Billie Joe’s nickname for his wife, 80, comes from and the band have talked about knowing they were home after grueling tours once they saw the bridge.


San Francisco Port Authority


The San Francisco-Oakland Bay Bridge


San Francisco skyline


Golden Gate Bridge as night fell


Oakland lights from San Francisco


Golden Gate Bridge at night, another photo I’ve wanted to take since I first picked up a camera


San Francisco at night

Annabelle insisted we had to see their bridge at night too, because it’s prettier than Golden Gate, so we did. I will admit they were right just this once.


The San Francisco-Oakland Bay Bridge at night

We ended up at Lake Merritt one last time before our flight home. It was a beautiful day and we made it even better by stopping off at the dodgiest McDonald’s I’ve ever seen. Annabelle bought me an Oakland A’s shirt and my mum a mug at the airport, before we accidentally got into another baseball team.

Adding Oakland to our trip was pretty much an accident, when flights from Vegas disappeared, but I am so happy we did. Not only did we see a few of the Green Day sights, but there was a time I thought I would never walk those streets with Annabelle. Long story short, they were diagnosed with stomach cancer in 2013 and at one point told they had three weeks to live. I cried until I could no longer feel my hands or head the first time I heard Still Breathing; because hearing ‘my head’s above the rain and roses / making my way to you’ was when it finally sunk in that I was not going to lose my fiancée, that one day we would walk the streets of Oakland together. Without Green Day we would never even have met. Now that dream has come true.

Maybe Oakland is a shithole and I’ll eventually get shot, but it felt like my second home and I can’t wait to go back and see Christie Road, Gilman St. and the other Green Day sights.


Lake Merritt before our flight home

I arrived back in Falmouth from Gatwick Airport in the evening. Nothing had changed; the same broken train still made a stupid noise that kept me awake. The dock horn still went off at exactly 7:30am. The same runners passed me on the pavement. But something was different.

The next day, I sat on a bench on the seafront, overlooking the gentle waves. The sun was shining, and birds were skimming the water below. It was beautiful, tranquil and probably more than I deserved. Because I still found myself longing for those dingy Greyhounds, a tent in Wisconsin, the puddles in my bivvy bag in Des Moines, the streets of Oakland. I knew later I would struggle to sleep in my own bed and, for a few minutes, I genuinely pondered sleeping on the cold metal of that bench.

I didn’t, and I walked away. All my life I’d had this voice in the back of my mind, telling me I want to go home and it was then that I realised it was absent. Because I have found my home in those tightly packed rooms, on those cold streets, wandering Oakland with someone I met through this band, from England to Poland to Champaign to Vegas.

I know I’m irresponsible. I know I’m not normal. I know that the consequences I faced because really, I couldn’t afford this at all and shouldn’t have taken the time off, are my own choices.

But this is my city of shining light in my ordinary world. It is where that I’ll live until I die, and I’ll walk to the end of the earth and afar before I leave this buried treasure behind.

This is my rage.

This is my love.

This is my life.



My Rage My Love My Life #3: Brussels, Paris, Leeds


Oslo on January 25th was supposed to be my last show until Manchester on February 6th. So when I got back from Oslo, of course I sold a few things on eBay and bought a Paris ticket. I’d go, camp out, then come straight home.

Then a couple of days before the Brussels show, I saw my friend Anja selling a ticket for it. It was the day before Paris and would just work with my uni schedule… but I’d already booked my Ouibus to Paris. Did I abandon it? It was 12€ which is approximately 55 bowls of pasta… yeah, alright, another Green Day show was more important than 55 bowls of pasta.

I had a crit that morning – a group where tutors and students critique each other’s work on their project so far – and I’d been showing this work. They already thought I was insane, then someone asked if I was going to more shows and I was like ‘well, I’m getting the night bus to go to Brussels tonight, I just booked it.’

My mum Joy was absolutely not meant to be coming to these shows. I was meant to be going alone and not staying anywhere. She was still in a lot of pain after people pushed her over in Oslo, too. So what did we do? Booked her a bus to London and a seat on my bus to Brussels, obviously. She used to live in Brussels – it would be like a hometown show. That was my excuse for talking her into it, anyway.

Ah, so here I was: hurriedly shoving all my camping gear into a big suitcase (I don’t remember why I took that instead of The Backpack) and dragging it through Truro to catch the night bus. It was about a 12 hour journey. I might have slept half an hour until it filled up in Exeter. When I arrived in London at 6am I was 99% convinced I had become a zombie.

Two hours later, with about 15 minutes until our Megabus, my mum’s bus was still stuck in traffic. It pulled in with a few minutes to spare, but I could have left without that metaphorically soiled underwear.

You know, boarding these buses is kind of like doors at a Green Day show. Some people take the queue very seriously and stand there for ages, others just clump around the queue to rush it when doors open and everyone is desperate to get in first. Anyway, I’d been sitting there for a good two hours, so I was not moving from the front of the line and got us the back seat. After the anticlimactic Eurotunnel (I didn’t even meet the Dark Bladers?! Do they know I’m a champion Beyblader?), we tried to spread out and sleep but we didn’t have much luck. Maybe it was the thought of those strip searches the driver told us were popular at that border.

My mum says it rained for at least five minutes every single day she lived in Brussels, and to welcome her back it was a typical grey, rainy day. As the bus approached the station, the driver announced that he was parking around the corner to deter luggage thieves. He urged us all to collect our luggage immediately and to hang onto it tightly. We rushed off the bus to grab it and despite the rain, my mum commented ‘Brussels has changed.’

When we finally figured out the Metro system and got to the venue, it was deserted and unclear where the line should start. The area looked pretty dodgy (well, Brussels seemed dodgy). I was beyond exhausted and didn’t want to sleep on the wet ground and/or get stabbed to find a proper line elsewhere when I woke up. We went to get pizza in the Belgian equivalent of Pizza Kebap and got a few hours sleep before heading back in the early morning.


Fans from Spain, Finland, the Netherlands and England lining up at Forest National, Brussels, 7am


Me (trying and failing to sleep) and Tamsin, also from England

As the sun rose the day proved to be the warmest of the tour. We were actually able to take the blankets back early! Seriously! We weren’t wrapped in tin foil all day!


From left to right: Magnus from Denmark, Sara from Spain and me, Yaz and Becky from England


The line: getting longer


Line essentials


Brussels line, midday, ft. the ‘she’s coming to the show?’ look my mum gets every time

It was early afternoon when the staff yelled that they were moving us and we needed to dump our rubbish immediately. Everyone began clearing up in a panic. I couldn’t throw everything away – I had my camera and camping stuff. Our hotel was a good ten minutes away. Sara rescued me by running all our stuff to her Airbnb nearby. When we got back they were locking us into barriers where we apparently weren’t allowed to bring any food or drink. I still needed to get my ticket from Anja and pay her for it, but she wasn’t there yet and I’d had to leave my purse in the Airbnb. Fortunately she arrived just in time and we agreed I’d PayPal her later.

Something incredible happened when they transferred us to the new line: they honoured our number system. It’s never done because we expect venues to care – it’s just to help prevent line cutting and if venues do get it, that’s an added bonus. I’d never seen it happen before, though, until we joined this new line in numbered order. The line was kept in order by Magnus and a local lady who was super helpful explaining how the venue worked. My mum also sent back two line cutters in French. #proud

When they let us in later they were still reasonably organised – I definitely remember it as one of the less stressful entries of the tour. Thanks to the local lady’s directions, I ran and got our favourite spot: Mike’s corner. My mum of course got pushed aside by kids who saw she was vulnerable, but I was saving her a spot so it didn’t do them any good.


The traditional barrier selfie: Brussels

We knew most of the lyrics to The Interrupters’ set and they knew us at this point, which was both cute and hilarious. They never got boring – they were just so much fun. When Green Day came on, Magnus was the first fan on stage. Billie snatched his Danish flag and displayed a Belgian one instead (all in good fun, of course).

I’m not someone who really cares about the setlist – I wouldn’t go to so many shows if I found it dull – but when Billie began playing the intro to Troubled Times, the crowd clapping along, I must have deafened the people around me. They’d played it at the previous show in Amsterdam, but I didn’t think they’d ever play it again. It was so powerful live and I will never forget hearing it in a foreign country after impulsively making a 24 hour bus journey from Cornwall.

In Longview, the girl Billie pulled up to sing attached herself to Tré and he had to tell her ‘you’re here to sing, not make out with Tré Cool!’

Before playing Scattered, Billie announced ‘it’s Aimee from The Interrupters’ birthday today!’ before beginning to play something it took me a few seconds to recognise. Then I turned to my mum and screamed ‘it’s Amy!’ and she registered it with wide eyes. It was such an incredible coincidence, because it was there in Brussels of all places, that hearing that meant the world to her. Her story in the We Are Revolution Radio book of fan stories sums up the show, really.


My mum’s story in the We Are Revolution Radio book of fan stories

After the show we headed to the bus station with Tamsin and Anita from Ireland for our Megabus to Paris. The luggage thieves business had unsettled us quite a bit, but the piss-scented street was deserted. I slept for an hour or so on the bus but my mum didn’t. We tumbled off the bus and into the line with our luggage at 6am.



The line in Paris, 6am

Soon they moved us closer to the entrance and we (understandably) weren’t allowed to take our suitcases into the barriers. So I went into the line alone and held places while the others decided what to do with all our luggage. I laid on the cold ground and tried to sleep but it was freezing and my camping gear was in the suitcase. A while later my mum was able to dump our luggage in our hotel early and everyone joined me to begin the long wait.



Paris line, late morning, ft. my Milan blanket

At some point in the afternoon, my mum and I went to get food and when we came back, the security guy who knew us had disappeared and the new one refused to let us back in. We were told to make our way to the barrier separating our line from a later one, where Anita soon joined us when they wouldn’t let her back in either. It had begun to rain and anxiety was setting in. We’d been there for an hour or two when our security guy finally returned from lunch, laughed and let us back in.

We’d seen Green Day in Paris in 2010 but we had seated tickets, so everything I’d heard about Parisian crowds being the worst had kind of gone over my head – it just felt like a fun, energetic atmosphere up in the seats. As doors grew closer the line became a tight squeeze, I got into an argument with a line cutter and people were beginning to lose their footing. Drunk people from behind were pushing and begging us to just let them past. When security called us forward, my mum was splayed over a barrier that was toppling over in the surge, with a half-eaten camembert in her face. I don’t think anything could be more French than being shoved almost to the ground with a drunk guy’s camembert invading your personal space.

I was held up when my phone set the scanners off and then it was forever until they searched me. When I finally got in, Anita was saving me a spot on the catwalk which I was incredibly grateful for. We managed to squeeze my mum in later. The crowd was certainly the most aggressive yet, which was an experience in itself. Every few minutes I was fighting someone new out of my spot. I couldn’t breathe, but I was having fun. My favourite moment was probably Scattered. It was still surreal that I was hearing that song not once, but multiple times. I was also thrilled to actually see all of Still Breathing since because I preferred front row to the catwalk, it was the first time I’d seen it from that angle. Being able to see all these songs from different points of view was a luxury I was grateful for throughout the tour.


Paris, the day after the show

It was raining the next day as we got lost trying to find the Ouibus stop and missed our bus in the process. We ended up sitting in a café where I tried to dry my socks over a radiator, and very nearly got lost again when looking for our new bus. Eventually we made it and I must say, I quite liked Ouibus. I mean, I don’t really like any coaches, but some are better than others, you know? I could write a coach comparison blog.


The most exciting view of Paris we got, via Ouibus: turned sepia to make it look like an old postcard? Or something?


The British border from the Ouibus

I joined my mum on the overnight bus to Nottingham. I would have had to leave as soon as I arrived if I’d gone back to Cornwall, and I appreciated the few hours of sleep in my own bed before we headed to Manchester. Neither of us were going to Leeds, until Tamsin messaged me to let me know someone was selling a ticket. Being the complete twat I am, I left my stuff with my mum in our Manchester hotel and got back on the train. On the 99 Revolutions Tour she went to Leeds Festival while I stayed home, so we were swapping places, in a way. I arrived in Leeds an hour or so before doors, legging it up and down the escalators in the station (I had a legit phobia of escalators for years and it ended there), accidentally going the wrong way and then finally making it to the arena.


My mum wasn’t there for a traditional barrier selfie, so I selfie’d me and my flag instead

I ran for my life when doors open and managed to get the end of the barrier on Jason’s side. In all honesty, I hadn’t slept for days and I was exhausted, my ribs were bruised from a crowd surfer in Paris and I was panicking way too much about the Manchester queue. The crowd initially seemed unresponsive too, until Billie roared ‘I want to hear your loud English voices!’ and it was as if we all woke up. I was no longer tired and it was a surreal experience, being back where it all began for me, in arenas in England. Because there is no experience like Green Day in England. There’s no energy like this, no atmosphere like this, anywhere else. To be one of those voices, a collective voice so loud it feels like it could shake the bowels of the earth – it’s surreal. I’m really not at all patriotic, but Billie screaming ‘fuck you I’m from ENGLAND!’ at the top of his lungs in Youngblood, then thanking us for welcoming him home was something else. They also played Armatage Shanks and I may have temporarily died (of happiness, obviously).

I watched the fire raining down in Still Breathing, and in my head I could still see that similar scene during 21 Guns, back at Birmingham’s (formerly) LG Arena in 2009. I couldn’t stop myself crying as I recalled how then, the lyrics about giving up resonated with me so. Now, there I stood, as strong, happy and confident as I could ever have wished to be. I’d been so close to giving up, but I never did. I was still breathing. Partially because of this band. I have no doubt that thousands of others in that arena, screaming the words at the top of their lungs, were feeling the same way.


Couldn’t resist a phone pic of my home country confetti

After the show I met up with Neeraja from India who I knew through Green Day. It was her first show and I was so happy she’d finally had the chance to see them. We got lost on our way to the bus station and managed to find it after asking a nightclub’s security guy for directions.

Before I unintentionally fell asleep on the bus, I wrote with the last of my phone’s battery: ‘I am exhausted. My head hurts and my eyes don’t want to stay open. But I’m so ready for my last show.’


Want to submit your story, photos or fan art to be part of the next We Are Revolution Radio book? You can, and totally should, do that here!


My Rage My Love My Life #2: Kraków, Prague, Oslo



I was sitting in Burger King when I realised my flight to Kraków was two hours earlier than I thought. Maybe it was the journey: I’d spent 24 hours getting back to uni from Italy, handed in an assignment, then got straight back on the bus for 12 hours. Whatever my excuse was, I ended up sprinting through Stansted Airport with a backpack far too big for running.




I skidded to a stop at the gate – the furthest gate possible, because Ryanair – as it was closing. My mum Joy was far behind, unable to run and I begged them to wait another minute for her. The lady at the gate said I was lucky and advised me to go through, so I did. After crashing down the plane to my seat with a lot of confused people staring at me, I got into an argument about my backpack (it was far too big, I admit) and checked my phone to find my mum had been sent to returning passengers. The flight took off before I could get another response.

This was not good. The next flight wasn’t until the following morning, she wasn’t well enough to stay in the airport all night and she had all our Polish money. It felt like the longest flight ever until I could text her again and find out that she’d had no choice but to go to an airport hotel and pay for a new flight. I drew out my bank balance in zlotys and went to the hotel in Kraków alone.



The Tauron Arena, the day before the show


While I waited the next morning, I trudged through snow to the arena to check there was no one camping. The show wasn’t until the next day – we’d come a day early for a day trip we could no longer afford – so fortunately, the arena was completely deserted. I was momentarily tempted to sit there already, but I had no idea where the line was supposed to start, so I just headed back to the hotel to meet my mum.

We decided we’d go into Kraków to at least see something, so we got on a tram we thought was headed to the centre. After an hour of watching the landscape become more and more barren, we figured we were going the wrong way.



Lost in Kraków


Going the right way… eventually


Night had fallen by the time we made it to the centre. We were just in time to meet up with Eleonora from Milan at the Green Day bar. It was warm and cosy in there after that freezing cold outside, and I was very glad I was not pointlessly sitting outside the Tauron Arena. Our luck, though – Tré Cool came in about 10 minutes after we left.



I mean, it was called Green Day!


We couldn’t afford our day trip, but at least we made it into the centre


Armed with thermals, heat packs and foot warmers, we arrived at 6am to a line of about 15 people. One fan was from Finland, another from Ukraine and others from all over Poland. A girl from Warsaw told us how the ticket and travel costs were an entire month’s wages to her, but that it was her first chance to see Green Day and she knew it would be worth it. Fran joined us soon and we later went to the nearby supermarket to buy our tour staple, dry bread and also Pizzerina.



I hope Green Day Bread is proud of us


This week in The Things We Eat For Green Day: Pizzerina, which cost about 20p



The line, before noon


The line was gradually becoming hostile. Soon after we arrived people began pushing and by the afternoon, many were too scared to sit down or to leave for a few minutes, in case they couldn’t get back in. A few hours before doors opened, it was almost impossible to move and some people were stumbling from the pushing. ‘Aggressive sardines’ is an accurate description.

It was predictable chaos when the staff opened the gates to let us closer to the entrance. People were screaming while others used the opportunity to push further forward. When we were finally lined up outside the huge door that led to the pit, the girl from Warsaw was in tears because she’d been there so long only to lose her spot. I don’t know what happened to her or if she even made it to the barrier but I hope she somehow did.



Traditional barrier selfie: Poland


Me, Fran and Eleonora made it there in front of Mike, but my mum had been sent to a cloakroom for no reason and in the time it took her to argue her way out, a man had forced his way in next to us. I remember thinking this was one of my most ridiculous experiences yet – which I suppose it was – but I don’t want to give Poland a bad rep because trust me, England and the US can be just as bad.

The Interrupters were still as energetic and entertaining as they had been in Italy. Rather than growing tired of them, as I got to know their songs and speeches I enjoyed their sets even more. I’d soon forgotten the pushing, the cold, the ridiculous venue. The arena, one of the biggest in Europe, was far from sold out but when Green Day ran on stage, the crowd made it sound like it was. The band played like it was. In Bang Bang, Billie filmed the crowd holding up ‘Bang’ signs, though security had snatched many away.



We even made it in to the video. I get irrationally excited when I see myself in crowd shots, OK?


Every time I see Green Day, there’s a different song that resonates with me most. It was obviously Scattered that night. I remember locking eyes with Billie and for a moment we were singing at each other, sharing whatever it was that resonated with us about those words and he pointed at me before he turned away. Maybe that’s another reason fans will go to these lengths to see them live. They aren’t inaccessible, emotionless rock stars. Even when you’re miles out in a seat, their energy fills the room. They are sharing their souls with everyone in those crowds when they perform. Awestruck kids leave knowing their heroes are human just like them. Billie’s ‘freaks, weirdos and strangers’ leave knowing they are understood and not alone. Whether it’s the travelling fans who’ve seen them twenty times before, the kid from Kraków who’s been waiting their entire life for that moment, or the parents who tag along out of duty to find they love the band – our experiences are all so different yet at the shows we are all the same.

It always gets me too when I see Billie holding the country’s flag, both because I know then I’m really having that experience, and also because I know what it means to so many people there. It was a predictably rough crowd, but once I’m in I don’t care, because it reminds me that I’m alive. Dziękuję Poland for another night I won’t ever forget.

Our Polskibus to Prague was at 7am the next day. My mum set an alarm, but I guess her phone died in the night. When I woke up and checked my phone I was confused for a moment before shouting ‘IT’S 9AM! OUR POLSKIBUS LEFT TWO HOURS AGO!’

I heard from Fran that the bus before was five hours delayed and left at 5am instead of midnight. We could have legged it to the bus station in the hope ours would be the same, but I didn’t want to risk spending the money in case it wasn’t. The next one, leaving at midday, would barely get us to Prague in time and if it was delayed even an hour, we’d miss Green Day. Trains were expensive and with all the transfers they entailed, I didn’t trust them. A taxi transfer was 300€, which was cheaper than flying, but we just didn’t have it. I’d heard that Uber was meant to be cheaper, but I didn’t even really know what it was. When I found out it was an app, I frantically deleted music and photos on my phone to make room for it. It gave me an estimate of 600zł-800zł, about £130-£170. We had that. It was obviously more than we’d usually spend considering the Polskibus was £11, but it was insanely cheap for what it was (I just checked Uber’s calculator and I guess they got wise to people stupid enough to call an Uber for that, because it told me almost double). So I did it: I called an Uber to take me from Kraków to Prague.

He arrived within a few minutes, a polite and well-spoken young man called Michał, and asked with a smile where we wanted to go. My mum glanced at me and took a deep breath.

‘Well, we need to get to Prague.’

He apologised for his English – which was perfect, I’m sure he just thought we couldn’t possibly be that stupid – and asked her to repeat it. Now he understood, stared at us blankly for a moment and laughed.

‘Praga? Nooo.’

My mum tried to explain what had happened and he listened patiently as it sunk in that we were seriously asking him this.

‘Wait. How far is it? 500 kilometres? How much will it cost? Maybe we can do it.’

All three of us struggled to get an Internet connection out there, but I told him what the Uber app had estimated and he said that would be fine. He just had to go to his dad’s house to get money for petrol. He reckoned we could get there by 5pm and we told him it didn’t matter as long as we were in time for Green Day.



Seriously considering my life choices as I waited for our Uber driver to get his petrol money

So, here we were: heading out in an Uber to Prague. It turned out Michał had lived and worked less than ten miles from us in England and his mum still lived there. This was his second day working for Uber after moving back. Yes, you read that right, it was his second day working for Uber and two English girls had asked him to take them 539km/335 miles to Prague. He was extremely professional and nice about the whole thing, though.


My mum having a cigarette at a gas station somewhere in the Czech Republic


Oh, don’t wanna think about my bank account tomorrow


Snowy wilderness. Lots of snowy wilderness to make me consider my life choices. Again.


The road signs are starting to tell us how many miles to Praha!


What would you wish if you saw a shooting star? Probably that I’ll get to Prague in time for Green Day



The Interrupters were finishing as we arrived. As much as I’d loved all their sets, I was not going to complain that we’d missed them. Thanks to Michał, the best and most patient Uber driver ever, we’d made it in time for Green Day.

This was the furthest back we’d ever been at a Green Day show, and it only confirmed all I’ve been saying about how it doesn’t matter. Of course front row is awesome and I love being able to see so well, but my mum and I had so much fun dancing together at the back. I still felt that same connection to the band and every word Billie sang. Seeing the full stage with the crowd all around us took me back to my first seated shows that had changed my life so. Scattered around us were people who didn’t know the band well but still watched in awe, and others who knew everything and sang and danced like we did. It was 100% worth getting an Uber all the way from Kraków. I regret nothing.




We got a taxi to Prague Airport the next morning, because it only cost the equivalent of £5 and we did not want to risk getting lost and somehow missing our flight. Our journey to Oslo was surprisingly – and refreshingly – uneventful.




Morning in Prague


Arriving in Oslo


We bought a loaf of bread to eat and just wandered around Oslo. Despite how cold and expensive it was (though I did get a Pokémon backpack for the equivalent of £15), I liked those modern streets a lot and I hope I can go back one day when I haven’t been wiped out by an Uber.



The fjord was almost entirely frozen over


This photo accurately reflects how cold it was


We didn’t make it up the hill to take photos, but this view of the skyline was pretty good


Pretty Oslo streets


I decided not to camp that night. I’d heard that people didn’t queue in Norway and though it was technically 14°C warmer than Kraków’s -15°C, it was a different cold that seeped into the bones and froze you from inside. I sometimes wonder if I should have done just to add ‘then I camped out in Oslo’ to ‘I got an Uber from Kraków to Prague’ but it would have been pointless, because when I arrived in the early morning there were only three people at our gate (and Fran at the other one). We were all foreigners – three Finnish girls and us three English. The first locals arrived around 10am.



7am, Oslo, Norway: my mum standing away from the line for a cigarette


Finland and England represents: Rosamari, Jenna, Maria and Meri (and Joy pressing the shutter)


The first five


Me and my mum wrapped in foil blankets as the sun rose


The line, midday


Phone pic of the line when I got back from putting my camera away


I can feel the nerves in that photo – knowing the line had finally been moved from the steps to its ‘proper’ place and that doors were getting closer. And the cold. That cold was definitely worse than Kraków or Prague, or at least it was by the time I’d been standing there all day.



Traditional barrier selfie, cut off because my mum hates it


Security lined up by the door and one stood in front of us, confused that none of us spoke Norwegian. Still, he laughed and told us to go in English. Everyone ran. The security who’d lined up were mobbed, but I slipped around to one at the side with no line. I was in, down some steps, and saw – for the first time ever – a completely empty barrier. Our door was Jason’s side and I think we all considered running to Mike’s, but we could hear the mob coming that side and chose to play it safe. I spread my arms to save a spot for my mum at the corner of the catwalk, next to Jenna and Rosamari. Fran had got the corner on the other side and waved to us. I couldn’t see my mum anywhere though and as more people flooded the barrier, I was struggling to keep the spot. She did make it and we ended up in number order – the first time I’d ever seen that, too – but she was in a lot of pain. People had pushed her to get in front and she’d gone flying into a turnstile and seriously hurt her ankle. She was worried she wouldn’t last the show, but when The Interrupters came on and we sang all the words we knew, she was dealing with it well.



Phone pic: Billie playing his harmonica during Scattered in Oslo


Once the bunny was off the stage and Green Day ran on, it was as it usually is: we forgot the cold, the idiots who’d pushed her, even the pain became bearable. After Prague – as much fun as that was – our great spot felt especially close. The band were on fire. I don’t know how receptive the crowd were, because I was just in my own world with my favourite band.

‘SHE knows it!’ Billie laughed as he walked past, looking for someone to sing Longview. He picked a guy we’d lined up with though, which was great.

I remember having that almost spiritual experience I’d had with Scattered in Kraków, screaming along with Billie to 2000 Light Years Away, Waiting, Forever Now and some others I’ve forgotten. He told us ‘tusen takk’ (thank you very much) and ‘jeg elsker deg’ (‘I love you’) and I felt like such a part of it all. Possibly because I have a Norwegian friend and actually understood, possibly just because shit, guys, this is my life – I was in Norway seeing Green Day.



Phone pics: Billie during King For A Day and Jason trying out the local attire


For the first time I caught a pick Billie threw me and I’m so glad it’s from Oslo, one of my favourite shows of all time and a memory of all the songs I sang along to with my favourite person I’ve never met.



Waiting at Oslo Airport on our way home


We’d originally planned to carry on to Stockholm after Oslo, but we just couldn’t afford it and all the travel disasters on this trip had now wiped us out completely. I was OK with that. Oslo was tied with Florence as my favourite show on this tour so far, we’d made it to Prague, Kraków was great too. This was our last show until Manchester two weeks later… or so we thought.

Next up: going to Brussels and Paris on a bus, with about 24 hours notice.




My Rage My Love My Life #1: Italy



It tells you a lot about me that I remember the date: I’ve been a Green Day fan since April 7th, 2007.

When reclusive, 12 year-old me saw the lyrics to Boulevard of Broken Dreams on a Piczo site, quickly becoming obsessed as I stumbled into this world of music that resonated with me so deeply… I had no idea that one day I would be uploading this project to my professional website, a successful photography graduate making a documentary about seeing Green Day 42 times.

I was unwell back then, with what I now know was bipolar II and borderline personality disorder. When I turned 14 I’d barely left the house for three years. The music allowed me to feel understood, to cling on to some kind of hope, but alone it wasn’t going to save me. Only conquering the issues that kept me trapped in the house was going to save me, and I needed a big push.

When Green Day’s 2009 UK tour was announced, my mum Joy – being a huge fan herself – bought us tickets to four shows. It was questionable whether or not I’d be able to go, because just the short train ride to Birmingham was a huge deal for me back then, but I made it.

I left not only blown away by the experience, but having learned a lot about both the world and myself. There was a place I felt at home. After years of struggles, my mum and I were free, even if it was just for three hours. Something about Green Day’s show makes everyone in those sweaty rooms feel like they’re understood, they matter, they’re part of this huge, loving throng with a place they can escape. There was hope. If those guys who’d grown up with nothing and faced so many challenges could inspire us all so, I could recover.

The following year, I went back to school as we sold all our possessions and made some questionable – but entirely worthwhile – sacrifices to go to five more shows on the European tour, two in the US and eventually, one in Costa Rica. I remember standing there in San José, Costa Rica, having been attacked and had my passport stolen; and feeling safer than I ever had in my life when Billie Joe came to check I was alright. Maybe I’m completely insane – in fact I’m sure I am – but it empowered and inspired me to grow from a kid who couldn’t leave the house into a confident, successful and hopeful young adult.




Since then, I’ve done a lot of things I never imagined I could do, including going to college and on to university. We went on tour again in 2013, going to five shows in Europe and three in America this time. I was grateful for every second of every show – you can imagine I’d pay to see three hours of King for a Day if it was on offer – but my dream was to see even more.

Over the years I saved my meagre wages, my student loan, eating nothing but Asda Smart Price pasta for month after month; going without heating; spending 13 hours on the bus every time I came home from uni, and missing out on the uni experience as I refused to pay to do anything. One trip to the cinema was too much. One alcoholic drink was too much. Eventually, a fiver for a society membership was too much. In the summer that preceded the tour, I left our village – which has no more than a corner shop and kebab joint – a total of four times. One of those was for my grandpa’s funeral and the other three to visit his grave. I wasn’t going to cough up the £4.60 train fare or risk spending money otherwise for anything else.

So when the Revolution Radio Tour was announced, I was ready.

Armed with a £19.99 flight to Turin, Italy, I logged on to TicketOne irrationally early, shaking and silently praying the temperamental rural connection wouldn’t let me down. It didn’t. The first tickets I bought were for four shows in Italy. Gradually we added whichever shows I could fit around my uni schedule: Kraków, Prague, Oslo and Manchester.

It felt like years then until I’d finally see them again, but it approached suddenly. Every time I got on a National Express – which was often, because I’m too cheap for the train – I had to remind myself I wasn’t heading to the airport to see Green Day. Yet when I finally was on the bus to Stansted Airport, everything had been so focused on saving money, not actually seeing Green Day, that I’d forgotten exactly why I was sitting on a coach for 10 hours. It wasn’t until I was there, in Turin, in front of the venue, that I realised it was real.

I was there. I would see Green Day tomorrow. I wasn’t dreaming.




This was the first time I met Fran, and the first time I met someone else who had eaten a lot more than their body weight in pasta to fund a Green Day adventure. Within three hours we were planning trips to Oakland and Japan while I was on the toilet.

We only meant to scope out the venue, but when we arrived it was surprisingly empty. Two staff guys took a selfie with us and we walked around, expecting to find campers lurking somewhere, because it was Italy after all. No one was there. Being first in line and feeling closer to the show was far too exciting to leave. We marked our hands with one, two and three, left a note and went to get food before setting up for the night.




We walked around in circles trying to find food, but the only place open was Turkish Pizza Kebap. It’d have to do, since we were nervous about getting back to the line. While we waited we looked at the photos of Turkey on the wall and my mum commented ‘I don’t know anything about Turkey, Green Day don’t play there,’ which remains my favourite quote from tour.

The venue was still deserted when we got back, silent until we heard the rumble of Green Day rehearsing King for a Day. Later they played Still Breathing, Are We the Waiting, St. Jimmy and repeatedly, Forever Now. It remained hard to process that I wasn’t still watching videos from previous tours, that this was the performance I’d see live tomorrow, that it was actually Billie Joe, Mike and Tré in there.




As night fell the temperature dropped to -5°C. The park around the venue had been littered with runners and dog walkers in the day, but now it was completely deserted. A van eventually pulled up opposite and a man got out to ask if we were cold. We said we were fine and he left, coming back later with two packets of crisps. How sweet, we thought, then he came back again with some Coke. That was sweet, too. Then he came back again with warm food and we began to feel wary, probably with good reason, since he soon asked if we wanted to sleep in his van. We told him no and tried to sleep, but every time we laid down he came back, insisting it was raining and that we should go to his van. Fortunately the next two fans arrived around 2am and we were saved from Weird Man.




It was, of course, much colder than we thought when we arrived. We must have slept at some point, because I never heard Fran speak to me and she didn’t remember me walking around to keep warm. Around 4am, as I desperately pulled my £3 blanket closer, I wondered if I was going to die. I longed to return to the warmth of the hotel, but I forced myself to picture the front row spot I was camping for, to recall the rumble of the soundcheck and that it was real. It was easy to forget; but when the sun rose I was still alive and I felt both relieved and satisfied that I hadn’t given in.



By noon it had begun to snow and the queue stretched out of the park as people arrived from all over the country. Groups of us huddled and walked around to keep warm. No-one seemed to know when the box office would open and Fran still needed to collect her ticket. We were getting nervous.



My £3 blanket, frozen after camping

A few hours before doors, we made our last trip to the hotel to dump our camping gear and warm our hands. My mum texted to say we had half an hour until we’d be ‘locked into the cage’ so we headed back, but even though we’d made that journey several times we somehow got completely lost. We walked around for a while but nothing looked familiar. There was an hour until doors, the ‘cage’ would be locked and we were lost in an Italian snowstorm. In desperation we asked someone for directions (well, stammered ‘Pala Alpitour?’ at him with confused expressions) and got back on track. Thanks to Maddy from Turin talking to the staff for us, we were allowed in.

The bad news was that the box office was still shut. There was half an hour until doors, we’d been there nearly 30 hours at this point and Fran had no ticket. My mum gave hers to Fran and went to the box office with Fran’s passport and email confirmation. We began to get scared it’d never open and that she wouldn’t get in at all, but about ten minutes later there was a huge cheer and she was lifted back into the cage with the ticket. Hero of the hour, always.

When the gates finally opened we were let through in pairs and then left outside another door, in the snow, for what felt like forever. As I’d saved for years I’d started running, specifically so I couldn’t be outrun for the barrier, and the struggles up and down Cornish hills paid off as my arms slammed onto the metal between Mike and Billie. It was the best I could have asked for after having to get back into the ‘cage.’

The opening act The Interrupters were so much fun, and even after all that time spent in the cold we were clapping; but when their set was done, I was not looking back. All those hours spent in the snow were about to pay off. I remember feeling like I was watching through a glass screen, from another world somewhere far from earth, when Tré first ran on stage, then Mike, then Billie. I remember welcoming the rib-crushing surge because it made me feel present. I remember Mike pointing and saluting my mum, recognising her after all that time and the lovely girls we’d queued with squealing with happiness for her; and even though I have never gone to Green Day shows for their attention, it meant the world to me when Billie remembered me too. I had grown so much, changed so much since last time I saw them, and yet it was like no time had passed at all. I remember throwing my arms up to Revolution Radio, clapping like my life depended on it; I remember losing my voice because I screamed Still Breathing so loud, and I remember knowing I was home with all Billie’s freaks, weirdos and strangers once more.

After the show I shelled out 10€ for the poster, certain I would never top camping for 30 hours in a -5°C snowstorm, or deafening everyone around me with that rendition of Still Breathing. But this was only the beginning, and it was only going to get better from here.




We arrived in Florence at midday to find 20+ people had camped, wondering if it was our fault for arriving so early in Turin. Staff soon barricaded us in so we couldn’t use the toilet or get food or drink. At least it was warm.

Time crawled on, the mob gradually becoming more packed as doors approached. When security finally opened the gates we had a long way to run. The ground was slippery and people were falling over in heaps of sleeping bags and winter coats. I didn’t know where my mum was or even where I was going. I just kept running, slipping and recomposing myself until my feet hit the solid ground of the arena floor. I made it to the barrier, holding out my arms to save a spot for my mum who joined me a minute later.

Having conquered any first-show nerves, both The Interrupters and Green Day were on fire. It had finally sunk in that it was all real and I watched it with my own eyes now, not through the glass screen feeling the shock of Turin had left me with. It was Minority I lost my voice to that night, screaming a free for all, fuck ’em all, you’re on your own side! Florence remains one of my favourite shows of the entire tour, and wandering the beautiful city the following day while we waited for our train – the whole experience of this new adventure truly beginning was just so magical.




We arrived late to a dark and deserted industrial estate in Bologna, where the ground was icy and the air bitterly cold. Having accidentally left my blanket in Turin (RIP) and with no other camping gear, I decided I couldn’t sleep there. I reluctantly remained in the hotel, where I should mention that I also ate the best pumpkin soup ever. It made up for all those months of pasta.

The temperature hadn’t risen much when we headed out in the morning, and the streets now were solid ice. I wondered again if I was going to die as we picked our way up a hill to the Unipol Arena, but of course I didn’t and we joined the line as 88 and 89.




As the day went on it began to rain. My mum, having become disabled with chronic arthritis since the last tour, couldn’t sit down and was stuck in the line. The only way out was to climb over the barriers, and she was suffering just standing there in the cold.

Someone told me there was a Carrefour nearby, so I climbed out and went looking for an umbrella and a cheap stool for her to sit on. The only umbrella I could find was a Milano FC one, so I returned to the line with a fold-up stool and a football umbrella for a team I didn’t know existed.

We met Eleonora, a Milano FC fan who had also been in Turin and Florence, and later she saved me from the Carrefour staff who thought I’d stolen a slice of pizza. I’m still grateful for her storing the umbrella in her car for me too, since 12€ is approximately 42 bowls of pasta.




That excruciating wait came to an end with another long and messy run. Even more people were slipping and falling here. The frozen steps that led down to the arena looked like a death trap. Still, I managed not to fall and ended the run in a great spot to say we arrived at 9am. I had never been happier to be sweaty and crushed before Green Day even took the stage.

Maybe it was the cold, maybe it was me, but either way the emotion had hit me and I spent a lot of the show in tears. They were truly on fire again, one of the most energised I’d ever seen them. I was living my dream, and it was everything – more – I’d hoped it would be. The band looked genuinely worried about me, probably thinking something bad had happened or that I’d just gone mad, but nah. Just love Green Day, sorry.

Holding the stool we’d retrieved from Eleonora’s car, we braved the two mile walk along the icy streets back to the hotel, passing lots of men having a wee. We got a few hours’ sleep before heading back to Bologna station for our train to Milan, the final Italian show.

As with a lot of these venues, the Mediolanum Forum was way out of the city. People think I’m seeing all these great sights – which OK, I do sometimes – but I’m really spending most of the time on streets in weird, usually deserted areas.




We arrived there to take number 288 and 289, having got into a… difficult situation trying to get from our hotel to the venue, which turned out to be separated by busy highways and fields. As soon as we joined the line, the friends we’d made in Turin dashed up to hug us and welcome us, especially my mum (she was very popular in Italy). Gianluca, who was her hero after helping her down the stairs in Turin, bought her a warm tea and they all accompanied her to the cash machine. Sure, we met a few rude people in Italy – like the Trenitalia woman who spat ‘ugh, inglese’ at my mum at Bologna station – but also some of the kindest and most welcoming people we’d ever met on tour.

My mum proved later that disability wasn’t going to take Green Day away from her just yet. When doors opened she ran, all the way up the steps she was worried about and got to security before me. She’s 58 and can’t walk sometimes. Far more of a rock star than I am.

I didn’t expect front row at this show, seeing as we’d showed up at nearly 4pm, but we still got good spots at the end of the barrier. This was it: the whirlwind end of this crazy Italian adventure. The two of us sang our hearts out like it was the last time we’d see them, ever. It struck me then how not speaking Italian well might have been a barrier elsewhere, but here we were all the same, united by our love for the band, screaming all the same words regardless of what language we spoke.

At the end of the show Tré held up a fan’s Italian flag and it felt like a fitting ending – standing there, in a shower of confetti in this arena in the middle of nowhere in Italy, revelling in all the love I had for these nights that I’d never forget.



It took me about 24 hours to get back to Falmouth, and on the National Express I used up all my data watching bad quality videos, trying to convince myself it all actually happened. I could have just kept going, sleeping on Italian streets to sprint over ice into arenas, forever. A new adventure was coming soon, though: I’d hand in the first project of my third year, attend a class and then 48 hours later, spend another 12 hours getting back to the airport to fly to Poland.


X-Kid: a Journey

Just realised I never posted the last video from my trilogy-inspired series in my blog, so here it is. It follows on from the previous two (Angel Blue and See You Tonight).

Initially the viewer is introduced to the (hypothetical) girl from Angel Blue and what it's like to be her, receiving the song. See You Tonight shows her going out to meet the narrator, against her better judgement, and implies it'll have negative consequences. Here in the final video, X-Kid, the characters are now in a relationship but facing the consequences of their actions. Eventually it all gets too much - the girl leaves and the man tries to kill himself. I won't spoil it by telling you how it ends.

As with the others, it was part of a project based on themes - this one was "a journey". The journey is the emotional journey of the couple. Enjoy!


See You Tonight: Word and Image

This follows on from my Angel Blue inspired video. It's the next part in her story, when she finally gives in and goes out to meet the narrator from her song.

These are part of a bigger video project I'm doing, and this was to fit the theme "word and image".

Her overdressed appearance represents how she's unwittingly taking everything out with her, and the ominious feeling hints at how destructive this could become. I tried to mirror the metaphorical "party" theme on the trilogy, with "before the party", "party from hell" and the "morning after". There's no literal party, obviously, but it's a good metaphor to describe what's going on.

The next and last of this little series will be X-Kid, the "morning after".


Angel Blue: the Point of View

I'm studying photography and my current project is a video challenge. For the "Point of View" and "Mini Music Video" challenges, I recorded a video based on and inspired by Angel Blue. I relate to the song a lot and was inspired to explore how it might feel to be the (hypothetical) girl. So this video shows it from her point of view - being the "other woman" to a famous man, receiving the song and watching the chaos unfold.

This is an entirely personal take on a fictional scenario. It's not intended to imply anything about Billie or anyone else's life - just an idea I found interesting that was inspired by a Green Day song (hence why I made up song titles and a band name for the short scene where they're visible).

It's up to the viewer how to interpret the video, but if you're interested in how I intended it to be, here's more on the storyline:

Her different outfits represent the passing of time - when the song begins, she rejects the narrator and causes him a lot of pain and frustration, but as time passes she develops feeling for him. Her different expressions throughout the video represent the many emotions she must be feeling - anger, despair, confusion, apathy and maybe a bit of arrogance. The blood on her hands the second time he asks her to be his "bloody valentine" implies that he eventually gets what he wants, and the handcuffs she's wearing then represent being trapped by an ugly mess of fame and love.

Again, this is just something I was inspired by and not an implication of what the song actually means or what's going on in Billie's life. Sorry the song is edited, they're supposed to be a certain length and I already went over so yeah.

My next video based on See You Tonight follows on from this one, which I'll post soon.


My 99 Revolutions Tour

People always ask why I'd want to see a band more than once. "Don't you get bored? Isn't it just the same thing over and over?"

It's not, somehow. It's different every time. You won't find it anywhere else. Why is that, though? Now it seems like the 99 Revolutions Tour is over, maybe it's time to rewind through the memories and try to explain.

This was an unusual tour, with no real European leg, a strange US leg and no other dates at all. Then there were the cancellations, and the trilogy disappeared as soon as it happened. It was a strange time for me as well, with my partner's health problems blacking everything out... but none of those things made this tour less special.

When the US dates were rescheduled, the Chicago show happened to be on Joy's (basketcase4933 on GDC) birthday. We decided we had to go, so I bought her the tickets as a present. How we were going to find money for flights we had no idea, but after a lot of eBay, we got there in the end.

We landed in Chicago the day before the show, and did some sightseeing. It was all surreal and looking out over Illinois from the top of the Willis Tower, I felt like I was dreaming. Even when we got up at 4am the next day, ready to get to the arena for six, it still hadn't sunk in. This was the first arena show since the cancelled tour and Billie's time off. Was I nervous, excited? I don't know. I was still in a daze. The line at the arena was short, consisting of about ten people. The first ones had been there since four.

As the sun began to rise, a school bus stopped by us. Thoroughly confused, we stared blankly at the driver who got out. He asked us what we were waiting for; we told him Green Day. He leapt back into the bus and sped off, whooping and hammering his horn. Nice to see some appreciation, I guess.

It was a very different experience to lining up in England, with everyone chatty, excited and friendly. One line cutter had the best excuse - "I'm a doctor so it doesn't matter!"

6:30pm. Doors were opening at any minute. This still hadn't sunk in... then doors were open and the line became a stampede. People were leaping over the barriers and mowing down the staff. I have to admit, I've been to a lot of Green Day shows and this was the worst I've seen.

This was the first time I'd heard Bohemian Rhapsody played before the show, and my emotions were a confused mess of sadness, excitement and nerves. It was beautiful, but I was glad the bunny came along to Blitzkrieg Bop and got us all cheered up again. At the time, I didn't think 99 Revolutions would be a good opener, but it sure as hell was! I was happier than ever to see my favourite band burst into their set.

I was hoping they'd play Stray Heart, since it's quickly become one of my all-time favourite songs... so I completely freaked out when I first heard that bassline. I squealed like a little girl and Billie laughed at me. They played Disappearing Boy, which was amazing. This was the first time I'd seen X-Kid and Brutal Love, too, and they had me snuffling. Billie was so emotional singing both of them and it was beautiful.

If you watch videos of this show, there's a lot of comments whining that Billie's not as good sober, the crowd was dead, the new songs don't sound good live... that's all bullshit. Billie seemed a bit nervous, but he was amazing - he's better sober. The band were all amazing, and seemed so happy to be back on the big stage. And believe me, that crowd wasn't dead! One of the most violent and crazy shows I've been to.

We said goodbye to new and old friends, then went back to our hotel to get some sleep. The next day we tried to get some more sightseeing done, but we ended up walking up and down the same street, which is apparently the most boring place in Chicago. Great work, ladies. Eventually we found the Greyhound station, anyway, and a ten hour ride later: Pittsburgh. We'd got a super cheap deal on a posh hotel, and Joy ended up bumping into Tre in reception. He was actually quite rude, bit mean considering that it was an accident and she wasn't stalking him, but never mind.

We got the venue the next day around 7:30, and were about 10th in line. The sky spotted the Brits and started raining. We ended up sitting on bin bags for the day, and took turns to dry off in the hotel.

It was worth it. The venue was very organised - which was one hell of a relief after Chicago - and other than someone slipping under the barriers and people running forward from behind, checking tickets and getting wristbanded was actually fair. We got on the barrier almost right in front of Billie, but enough to the side for him not to block the view of everyone else. Probably the best spot possible! Waiting was exciting and I really enjoyed Best Coast, despite not liking them so much in Chicago.

The drunk bunny came along with Easter eggs, then it was time for Green Day and they sounded so fucking good. The new songs were great and it was so much fun rocking out to them all! Letterbomb is one of my favourite songs so it's always awesome to see that. Then they played Only of You and Christie Road! I have to admit that Christie Road is one of my least favourite GD songs but it was great at this show. I really didn't mind that they hardly played any new songs despite how much I love the trilogy, because all of them were so good, exciting and like new. I could live without ever seeing Brain Stew or BOBD again but I really enjoyed both of them. The band had so much energy and seemed stronger than ever, both musically and in general. Billie and Mike remembered us which was lovely.

When Billie told the girl in Longview to stage dive, I could see that she was going to land right on top of me if she didn't jump far enough. Security were trying to get me to put my hands up so I ended up half protecting my head and half trying to catch her... and she didn't jump far enough. My head took her entire body weight, then her boots hit me in the face.

Blood everywhere. Security were fussing around me with ice and water, telling me my nose might be broken. My glasses were certainly broken. Everything was lopsided. One of the security guys gave me Mike's pick and a drumstick, saying they'd cheer me up.

I felt really dizzy, then about a minute into She everything went black. I thought I was asleep in my bed at home and couldn't understand why the dream I was having was so painful. I was hallucinating for a while, then I finally woke up and found myself being carried off. At first I thought I was dreaming again. Yeah, a dream about Green Day's US tour, that's months away... then I realised. No, I'm at the Green Day show in Pittsburgh and I just got knocked out. I still had the drumstick but I'd dropped Mike's pick.

My nose wasn't broken but I felt like shit. My head was throbbing and I never really stopped feeling faint. A paramedic asked if I was alright, and I told them I was more upset about losing my spot. Apparently the last one had said the exact same thing. Ah, Green Day fans. I always wondered if anyone ever got knocked out by stage divers... now I know.

I decided there was no point being upset or bitter, and watched the rest of the show in a daze from first aid, singing out of tune. Brutal Love is always incredible, but fortunately I was too dazed to cry this time. It was nice to see Good Riddance again even though I couldn't really appreciate it.

At the end of the show Eddie (the band's security guy) walked up to me. With a little smile he handed me something.

"Mike wanted me to give you this."


"Yes, really!"

It was the vest he'd been wearing at the last few shows. I couldn't believe it. My friends said the band looked really worried when I got carried off. They are such lovely people. Mike replied to me on Instagram when I thanked him for the vest which was also super cool of him. Their security/crew are lovely people too. Definitely worth getting knocked out for that!

The scar on my nose has faded, and I've managed to force my glasses back into a less lopsided shape. It's strange how it was so real at the time but feels like it never happened now.

I'd been to the Chicago show before this one, and I'd seen them a couple of other times since 21CB, at Shepherd's Bush and Rock am See. This was the first time I really thought "now that was a Green Day show."

Don't get me wrong, all of those shows were amazing, but this time they were truly Green Day again. They'd got all their confidence back, they were back in their element and it showed. I remembered why I sold all my posessions and lost everything to follow the tour in 2010. All the songs I was sick of were exciting and different again. Not that I really saw KFAD because I was half unconscious but I even enjoyed what I saw of that, and didn't wish they'd cut it out of the set at all. I can't believe anyone would complain about the setlist because every song sounded new and amazing. It beat Costa Rica which was one of the greatest shows in GD history. I definitely had the time of my life.

The fans were also lovely at this show. The people around us were actually concerned when I got knocked out, instead of trying to get in my place. Other than one woman behind us, no-one was trying to get into our spots and it was so great to just be able to dance and have fun without constantly trying to protect our spots. I don't know if it was a fluke but still, you were awesome, Pittsburgh!

Next up, Philadelphia. We didn't have a cheap deal on a good hotel this time, and ended up in a shithole next to a homeless shelter. Everyone told us to be wary of the area. I was slightly worried when I had to get on the subway alone, but I didn't get stabbed.

Some freak weather condition was affecting the eastern US, and it was freezing. The line for the show was in the worst place for it, too. The cold wind buffeted us all day while we huddled under a blanket. At times we tried to jump or run across the pavement to stay warm. We were probably known as the crazy Europeans by the end of the day. When the venue were late opening the doors, and half the queue pushed forwards for wristbands, I think we'd forgotten we were seeing Green Day and thought we'd signed up for suicide instead. Some people were saying the show was cancelled... the lateness turned out to be because security had forgotten to set up some barriers inside. Great.

There was another stampede when the doors finally opened, but it was nothing after Chicago! We got front row and at least it was warmer in there. I still felt ill after Pittsburgh, and lining up in the wind tunnel really hadn't done me any good. I was beginning to feel faint again... but the bunny stumbled onstage and finally, my Green Day energy came back.

They were amazing, just like Pittsburgh. They truly did have all their confidence and strength back. Everything sounded good. Billie forgot the words to Holiday, and while holding the torch he told us we were all in a trance and to repeat after him: "Billie Joe did not forget the words to Holiday tonight". Letterbomb was great as usual and really touched me because it seems to mean so much to Billie. And oh God, they played J.A.R. It was incredible. The crowd was so tightly packed that you couldn't really dance, but I lost my shit as much as I physically could! I saw King for a Day properly this time, and I can honestly say that despite being one of those "PLEASE NO MORE KFAD" people, it was great and I really enjoyed it. The band were just that good. Billie grabbed a giant banana from the crowd and soon put it in the appropriate place. We caught the feather boa he put on too!

I keep going on about Brutal Love, but it's just so beautiful every time. Every word Billie sang was directly from the heart. I was thinking about how the tour was over for me, and how I'd have to go back to England and leave my fiance again. I wanted to cry but I couldn't. They switched the lights off, and it seemed like it was over then; but Billie came back, looking confused and gesturing for his guitar. He played Good Riddance and for some reason that did make me cry. Then that was it.

I was dead by then. Well, not literally, but I could hardly walk, felt sick and faint; and the guy next to me had been gradually beating me up throughout the gig, which didn't help. Still, we stumbled back to the subway and finally crashed at our shithole. It was over.

Our flight home was the next day, and we left the US behind again. I'd been on a location photography assignment while I was there, so at least I had that to keep me occupied when I got home. I thought I'd really messed it up, so it was a nice surprise when I got a high grade for it.

The European leg was next, but we didn't really have anything planned. We considered Montreux when it was announced, but weren't going to bother with Emirates, since it was such a big show. But when more tickets were released, Joy decided to buy some on an impulse; and I'm so glad she did.

We arrived at the stadium the evening before the gig. It was dark and freezing cold; we were nervous, wondering how long the queue at our gate would be. It actually turned out to be mostly deserted - there were a few people scattered around some turnstiles, but none at others. When we found ours, there were some people who'd been here since the day before, and ironically, some other people from Nottingham! We pulled all our camping out gear - well, a few blankets and a camping chair - out of our suitcase and tried to get some sleep, but none of us had much luck. No thanks to Like a Rat Does Cheese suddenly blasting out and waking the few who were nodding off...

Security promised golden circle wristbands at 8:30am for the first 2500 people, so we anxiously waited, nobody daring to leave even for a few minutes. It was about 10am when they finally gave them out, and I'm sure we were all relieved to be able to get off our (numb) asses again. It was a fun day meeting lots of people and chatting with our new friends from Nottingham. One of us went to drop our bags off at our hostel and finally, it was getting close to doors opening.

We managed to get a spot at the end of the barrier on Jason's side. Doors on the East Side were opened at least ten minutes later than the others, and the stadium were ignoring the wristbands and just letting anyone in. I wasn't impressed, but never mind! It turned out to be a good spot in the end, anyway, since we were able to dance and have fun without worrying about protecting our spots.

All Time Low were average and their sex jokes definitely fell flat! The Kaiser Chiefs were great, though. They were full of energy and pumped up the crowd like an opening act should. Then eventually, 60000 people were echoing Bohemian Rhapsody and the stadium truly came to life. Green Day tore open the set with 99 Revolutions and they were happier than I've ever seen them. The crowd was louder than I've ever heard it. The atmosphere was more amazing than I've ever known it before. From where I was stood it sounded like the whole stadium was singing. They sang the words of Boulevard of Broken Dreams back at Billie unfalteringly. I was glad to see the usual trilogy songs again and even happier to see Stray Heart! I expected Burnout next, but no. Nice Guys Finish Last and Waiting. The lyrics to Waiting seemed so appropriate and Billie was full of emotion.

And then... then Missing You happened. I couldn't believe it. I love this song so much and I thought we'd never hear it live. I completely lost my mind and it's a good thing no-one was trying to steal my spot because I stopped caring. The way the crowd echoed "first time" and "over" in the second verse gave me chills. It was amazing.

The surprises didn't stop there. After Burnout they burst into Sassafras Roots, for the first time since 1997, excluding the twice they played Dookie in full. That's my favourite song from Dookie and I lost my mind all over again. It was all unreal. They were playing every song I wanted to see, and they were better than ever. They were loving it more than ever.

It was great to hear Welcome to Paradise and Going to Pasalacqua; it was great to hear anything in this stadium where 60000 people were screaming and the band were smiling so much. Billie dedicated Longview to "all the cowboys in the house" and wandered the stage in a cowboy hat, throwing in the occasional "yee-haw!" and of course, grabbing his genitals for good measure. At the end of St. Jimmy he finally gave up on years of waiting to scream "don't you fucking wear it out" and threw the mic down, grumbling "you know my fucking name" instead.

Then there were the usuals like King for a Day, Minority, American Idiot, JOS, etc. X-Kid was pretty heart-wrenching with Billie so emotional.

Eventually the show had to come to a close, with the beautiful Brutal Love (sorry). It was halfway through the song when I looked up and saw all the seats bright with people holding their lighters. The whole stadium was alive. Billie had his eyes closed and I was willing him to open them and see it, before the song was over. Eventually, he did and he smiled, looking awestruck. The cameramen realised and started to film it; then they showed it on the screens, too. It was one of the most amazing things I've ever seen. I turned away with tears in my eyes as Billie thanked the crowd one last time and the lights finally dimmed. It was over.

I hate my country, I really do. But when I hear the crowd screaming the words, see the seats alive with lighters, I remember why Green Day love this place. There's something about seeing them in your home country, too, hearing Billie scream "London!" and praise us all. For one night I'm proud to be English and I hold my flag high in the air.

Billie Joe Armstrong said it pretty well: #bestnightEVER

(Though for me, I should probably add #otherthanpittsburgh)

Fortunately, we did decide to go to Montreux, so the tour wasn't quite over yet. We stayed in Geneva for a while before the show, since Joy had lived there for ten years; then eventually got the train out to Montreux. It was the height of summer, and the heat was stifling. This was a weird show, too, with hardly anyone arriving until midday and no proper queue. Gradually the venue began to fill up, and the staff were looking worried. They'd clearly underestimated Green Day fans, and the lack of proper queue was going to be a problem.

For the last couple of hours, everyone stood up to stop line cutters and we were all crammed in. When they eventually opened the gates, nobody could breathe or move. People were screaming, falling, passing out; security were overwhelmed. A girl dug her elbows into my chest to get rid of any breath I had left, and I lost my friends fighting her off. There were about four long flights of stairs then, and more doors at the top. A frightened young girl we'd lined up with asked me to hold her hand, but when they opened the next set of doors, the surge was so bad that I lost her. I still don't know if she ended up okay or not. It was the worst I've experienced along with Chicago.

After all that, a hundred VIPs had been let in first. At this point we'd all gone insane, and even the friendliest people were shouting and pushing. We ended up in front of the amps by Jason, thanks to some lovely Finnish ladies who moved to let me in next to Joy. When the mystery support act appeared, we finally all began to forget. It turned out to be Twin Atlantic, who said they'd travelled for two days to get there. I didn't know any of their stuff but they were pretty good, I enjoyed them. It was all worth it when it was finally time for Green Day.

"Welcome to the Montreux Jazz Festival! I have no idea what we're doing here, Green Day isn't jazzy shit!" - Billie.

In Letterbomb he talked about the plane crash at San Francisco airport, and how lucky we all were to be alive. I know his speeches can seem forced and insincere sometimes, but he was genuinely emotional and meant what he was saying then. They played Let Yourself Go for the first time on this tour, and Billie threw everything into it like his life depended on it. It was intense, he was just lost in the song. The whole band were bursting with energy, but Billie especially - lots of the songs seemed even more intense than usual. Instead of "I don't wanna say goodbye" in Stay the Night, he screamed "and I'm in love with you", giving a subtle emotional charge to a song that was becoming standard.

Later they played Who Wrote Holden Caulfield as a request, which was great! The guy they pulled onstage for Longview played guitar as well as singing. Billie pulled a face at me in When I Come Around, and their two security guys remembered us from Pittsburgh which was really nice.

The venue only allowed a few of Green Day's crew to work, but those few were heroes and did a great job. It was an amazing show despite everything, and the band were at their best.

We really did think it was over, then. But one morning I woke up at 6am to an explosion on Twitter. They'd announced a secret show in London, and tickets were onsale in three hours.

I ran to wake Joy up, praying that we somehow had the money. We didn't, but we did have a phone bill about to go out, so we ditched it. They'd have to wait.

I expected tickets to sell out in two minutes like Shepherd's Bush, and getting them was a horrible mess of anxiety and panic. It turned out that there were plenty left hours later. Oh. But we were seeing Green Day in nine days. Everything turned surreal all over again.

After Shepherd's Bush we slept on the street, so we decided to get a cheap hotel this time. We got a bit of sleep there, before we left for Brixton at 3:30am. There were rats and creepy hobos everywhere. I feared for my life until the sun rose.

It was another strange day, spent tutting at line cutters - queuing is a matter of life and death in England - catching up with a few friends, and being confused about the infamous O2 Priority line. We ended up taking out a contact for an O2 phone to make sure we were safe. The staff did their best and tried to make sure the campers got in first, but it didn't really work. Still, we managed to get the end of the barrier on Mike's side, which was good for when we arrived. I really enjoyed Frank Turner.

When I listen to Blitzkrieg Bop I still see the bunny staggering onstage and feel the excitement all over again. No matter how many times you see them, that feeling doesn't go away.

Mike proudly displayed his Brixton tattoo when Billie roared "Brixton!" and introduced him as "Brixton's dad". He told us they were playing Reading and Leeds soon, but that he liked this better. Let Yourself Go was intense again, just like Montreux. Of course, at this point nobody knew they were going to play Dookie. They'd hinted, but I still didn't expect it. It was amazing to actually hear it in full and I especially enjoyed Sassafras Roots, Emenius Sleepus and In the End. Some bands sound shit when they play their old stuff but every song sounded great. Billie "forgot" the order of the songs, and asked the crowd for help. He also commented that "everyone is still masturbating after 20 years" before Longview, raising a mumble of laughter from the crowd. He stuck his tongue out and smiled at Joy too.

Before the encore, they were gone so long that people were beginning to think they wouldn't come back. It turned out that Billie had been randomly getting changed. Ah, Billie.

On the day of Leeds Festival, we were sighing and cursing ourselves for not going, when we realised that I had the money for one person... so I paid for Joy to go. I felt like I was going myself! It was so exciting. I waited anxiously for her text updates, worrying that she'd slipped and died in the mud when she didn't reply. She hadn't, though; she texted me saying that she'd just got there in time for Know Your Enemy, and was about ten rows back on Mike's side. I knew she wouldn't text again after that, so I impatiently attacked the refresh button, watching the thread on GDC. I still kept worrying that she'd died in the mud, and hoped for her sake that they wouldn't repeat Woodstock.

People were saying they'd played all kinds of stuff, which was bullshit, but I was excited (and relieved) to get Joy's text confirming that they did cover A Quick One, and Billie played Walk Away acoustic. The show was amazing, and she eventually got home safe the next morning, covered in mud almost up to her waist. I really did feel like I'd been there myself. But that really was it. The 99 Revolutions Tour was over.

Maybe the answer to that question - "why would you want to see a band more than once?" - is that it's not just a bunch of great rock shows. It's even more than that. These experiences have made me who I am today. I have Green Day to thank for finding my way. It's trendy now to say a band saved your life... but they saved mine before it was cool.

That's why I love this band.


Green Day - Emirates Stadium, June 1st 2013

We arrived at Emirates Stadium the evening before the gig. It was dark and freezing cold; we were nervous, wondering how long the queue at our gate would be. It actually turned out to be mostly deserted - there were a few people scattered around some turnstiles, but none at others. When we found ours, there were some people who'd been here since the day before, and ironically, some other people from Nottingham! We pulled all our camping out gear - well, a few blankets and a camping chair - out of our suitcase and tried to get some sleep, but none of us had much luck. No thanks to Like a Rat Does Cheese suddenly blasting out and waking the few who were nodding off...

Security promised golden circle wristbands at 8:30am for the first 2500 people, so we anxiously waited, nobody daring to leave even for a few minutes. It was about 10am when they finally gave them out, and I'm sure we were all relieved to be able to get off our (numb) asses again. It was a fun day meeting lots of people and chatting with our new friends from Nottingham. One of us went to drop our bags off at our hostel and finally, it was getting close to doors opening.

We managed to get a spot at the end of the barrier on Jason's side. Apparently doors on the East Side were opened at least ten minutes later than the others, and the stadium were ignoring the wristbands and just letting anyone in. I wasn't impressed, but never mind! It turned out to be a good spot in the end, anyway, since we were able to dance and have fun without worrying about protecting our spots.

All Time Low were average and their sex jokes definitely fell flat! The Kaiser Chiefs were great, though. They were full of energy and pumped up the crowd like an opening act should. Then eventually, 60000 people were echoing Bohemian Rhapsody and the stadium truly came to life. Green Day tore open the set with 99 Revolutions and they were happier than I've ever seen them. The crowd was louder than I've ever heard it. The atmosphere was more amazing than I've ever known it before. From where I was stood, it sounded like the whole stadium was singing. I was glad to see the usual trilogy songs again and even happier to see Stray Heart! I expected Burnout next, but no. Nice Guys Finish Last and Waiting. The lyrics to Waiting seemed so appropriate and Billie was full of emotion.

And then... then Missing You happened. I couldn't believe it. I love this song so much and I thought we'd never hear it live. I completely lost my mind and it's a good thing no-one was trying to steal my spot because I stopped caring. The way the crowd echoed "first time" and "over" in the second verse gave me chills. It was amazing.

The surprises didn't stop there. After Burnout they burst into Sassafras Roots, for the first time since 1997, excluding the twice they played Dookie in full. That's my favourite song from Dookie and I lost my mind all over again. It was all unreal. They were playing every song I wanted to see, and they were better than ever.

It was great to hear Welcome to Paradise and Going to Pasalacqua; it was great to hear anything in this stadium where 60000 people were screaming and the band were smiling so much. Billie dedicated Longview to "all the cowboys in the house" and wandered the stage in a cowboy hat, throwing in the occasional "yee-haw!" and of course, grabbing his dick for good measure. At the end of St. Jimmy he finally gave up on years of waiting to scream "don't you fucking wear it out" and threw the mic down, grumbling "you know my fucking name" instead.

Then there were the usuals like King for a Day, Minority, American Idiot, JOS, etc. X-Kid was pretty heart-wrenching when Billie's voice nearly cracked at the end. It's beautiful that his heart is really in his writing like that.

Eventually the show had to come to a close, with the beautiful Brutal Love. It was halfway through the song when I looked up and saw all the seats bright with people holding their lighters. The whole stadium was alive. Billie had his eyes closed and I was willing him to open them and see it, before the song was over. Eventually, he did and he smiled, looking awestruck. The cameramen realised and started to film it; then they showed it on the screens, too. It was one of the most amazing things I've ever seen. I turned away with tears in my eyes as Billie thanked the crowd one last time and the lights finally dimmed. It was over.

We snapped back to reality and began to make our way back to our hostel, with Liam who we were staying with. Eventually, after a lot of wandering around we found out that Arsenal underground station was open after all, and got a free trip, which was nice. We were glad to crash but the hostel was rubbish, don't stay at the Generator.

Then the next morning it really was over; we said our goodbyes and headed back to the bus station. I'd rather be back at Emirates Stadium in the freezing cold now, but I know I was bloody glad to see my own bed that night!

I hate my country, I really do. But when I hear the crowd screaming the words, see the seats alive with lighters, I remember why Green Day love this place. There's something about seeing them in your home country, too, hearing Billie scream "London!" and praise us all. For one night I'm proud to be English and I hold my flag high in the air.

Billie Joe Armstrong said it pretty well: #bestnightEVER


Green Day - Pittsburgh, March 31st 2013

I'm late but here's my recap of the Pittsburgh show. I already posted it in the thread but it was pretty much the best Green Day show ever so may as well post it here too!

We got to the venue around 7:30-8 and and were about 10th in line. It rained nearly all day and we had to go and dry off in the hotel a few times, but it was so worth it. The venue was super organized (which was a massive relief after Chicago) and we got on the barrier right in front of Billie. Waiting was exciting and I really enjoyed Best Coast. I recommend The Only Place and When I'm With You if you want to check them out.

The drunk bunny came along with Easter eggs, then it was time for Green Day and they sounded so fucking good. I'd seen the guy who got onstage in KYE in line, so it was nice to see him get up there even though I didn't speak to him. The new songs were great and it was so much fun rocking out to them all! Letterbomb is one of my favourite songs so it's always awesome to see that. Then they played Only of You and Christie Road! I have to admit that Christie Road is one of my least favourite GD songs but it was so good at this show. I really didn't mind that they hardly played any new songs despite how much I love the trilogy, because all of them were so good, exciting and like new. I could live without ever seeing Brain Stew or BOBD again but I really enjoyed both of them. Some people thought St. Jimmy would be no fun now Billie's sober, but not at all - it's probably even better. The band had so much energy and seemed stronger than ever, both musically and in general. Billie and Mike remembered us which was awesome too.

When Billie told the girl in Longview to stage dive, I could see that she was going to land right on top of me if she didn't jump far enough. Security were trying to get me to put my hands up so I ended up half protecting my head and half trying to catch her... and she didn't jump far enough. My head took her entire body weight, then her feet hit me in the face.

Blood everywhere. Security were fussing around me with ice and water, telling me my nose might be broken. My glasses were certainly broken. Everything was lopsided. One of the security guys gave me Mike's pick and a drumstick, saying they'd cheer me up.

I felt really dizzy, then about a minute into She everything went black. I thought I was asleep in my bed at home and couldn't understand why the dream I was having was so painful. After hallucinating for a while I finally woke up and found myself being carried off. At first I thought I was dreaming again and then I realised, um no I'm at a Green Day show in Pittsburgh and I just got knocked out. I still had the drumstick but I'd dropped Mike's pick.

My nose wasn't broken but I felt seriously shitty. My head was throbbing and I never really stopped feeling faint. I always wondered if anyone ever got knocked out by stage divers... now I know.

I watched the rest of the show in a daze, singing out of tune. It was nice to see Good Riddance again even though I couldn't really appreciate it. Brutal Love was incredible too! Then at the end of the show the band's security guy walked up to me with something and said "Mike wanted me to give you this."


"Yes, really!"

It was the vest he'd been wearing at the last few shows. I couldn't believe it. They're such lovely people. Best souvenir ever!

This show really reminded me why I sold all my posessions and lost everything to follow the tour in 2010. All the songs I was sick of were exciting and different again. Not that I really saw KFAD because I was half unconscious but I even enjoyed what I saw of that, and didn't wish they'd cut it out of the set at all. I can't believe anyone would complain about the setlist because every song sounded fresh and amazing. I definitely had the time of my life.




Here's my ¡Dos! "visual review" like the ¡Uno! one I made, basically just my interpretation of each song as a picture.

See You Tonight


Fuck Time


Stop When the Red Lights Flash


Lazy Bones


Wild One


Makeout Party


Stray Heart




Baby Eyes


Lady Cobra




Wow! That's Loud




Again I wanted to use all my own work but had to use Billie for Lazy Bones and Baby Eyes as I didn't have a male model (willing to show his face). The razor blades on Wild One and bullet holes on Baby Eyes came off Google. Thanks Google.

Sorry for the totally hideous watermarks, there's always someone out there who reposts them without credit otherwise.

All interpretation is personal of course. Here's my written review if you're interested in that: http://www.greendaycommunity.org/blog/127/entry-1083-uno-and-dos-reviews/


¡Tré! Review

Here's my Tré review/commentary. You can find my Uno and Dos ones here, if you want to follow my interpretation of the "story". As usual I'm not trying to imply anything about Billie himself, unless I mention him - these interpretations are all personal. :)

Tré opens with Brutal Love. The song is everything the title promises; it's brutal, it tears your heart out like you're feeling what Billie's feeling. I love it.

In context of the story, the metaphorical "party" of Dos is over and the couple are left with the wreckage; the consequences of their lust-driven actions, and the uninvited evolution of their relationship. The narrator doesn't seem to have had much luck with love in the past, and he's almost scared to continue chasing the one he still "can't have"; but he accepts that he's brutally in love with this new woman, despite the pain it's causing him.

He stresses that again in Missing You, realising that something is missing now she's gone and he's not complete without her. He's remembering, and asking her to remember too, the first time he said he loved her at the bus station; and promising her that it's not over yet. Although it might seem a little average on a first listen, with a killer bass solo and some simple but sweet lyrics, there's not much to dislike about this song.

8th Avenue Serenade is one of my two favourite songs from the album. The lyrics are beautiful and there's something so sweet about it. It's called a serenade and it really feels like one.

It seems that the narrator and his new love are reunited again. There's something that almost feels frantic and desperate about it, too, as if there's something to prove by meeting at the bathroom stall or Whispering Wall (which is a space at Grand Central Terminal where two people can stand at opposite sides of the room, and still hear what they're whispering). Maybe this is the stepping stone to the next stage of their relationship, evolving into far more than the lust of Dos.

Drama Queen has evolved from a simple song that was meant for 21st Century Breakdown, into a beautiful ballad with piano and electric guitar. They suit it perfectly. Billie has mentioned it's about celebrity life, but it could also fit into the story here, as a simple reference to the female character; stressing her young age again.

The album swerves away from love and into other aspects of life in X-Kid. Billie has explained this one too, as being about a friend who committed suicide. This is a brilliant song that wouldn't have been out of place on an older Green Day album. A song doesn't have to be slow and emotional to pull at your heartstrings; this one is proof of that.

Sex, Drugs & Violence and Little Boy Named Train see the narrator looking at himself, seeming insistent that he's lost and a mess; regretting his life choices; musing over the hard lessons he's learned and how he feels he did it all wrong. This is the doorway to the rash of "leaving the past behind" songs that litter this album. Little Boy Named Train also has a very deep story behind it, but musically it's my least favourite song on the album.

In Amanda, Billie has finally decided to "name the girl" who's haunted him for so many years; he seems to have answered the question of Is this the kind of love that hate would understand? that has nagged at him for so long. It's a great addition to the story, stressing the theme of leaving the past behind even more. This one had to grow on me, but it's a decent song that you could dance to.

Walk Away is another song that grew on me after a few listens, with its haunting vocals and questioning lyrics. The narrator decides that it's not too late to finally stand up to the memories, and truly walk away from his life for the new love he's found. Now he's faced with the confusion and mess of that, and back to battles with his inner demons in Dirty Rotten Bastards. This definitely comes across as a unique and great song after a few listens, and it portrays perfectly the confusion and self-loathing that the narrator is feeling.

99 Revolutions turns the focus away from the narrator's personal life and into the streets, an echo of American Idiot and 21st Century Breakdown's politics; but more lighthearted, despite the seriousness of the lyrics. My favourite song from Tré! A great closer for a live show and a brilliant, uplifting song that sparks an urge to dance.

The Forgotten is another beautiful ballad, and just like Uno and Dos, they've chosen the perfect closer to end the album... except this one ends the entire trilogy. It's the perfect closer for that too.

The narrator is finally able to embrace his past as what it was, saying that he hasn't forgotten it despite starting a new life now. He doesn't know what the future will hold, and he knows they're living in a bad dream now, but assures his new love not to look away from the arms of tomorrow... or the arms of love.


¡Uno! and ¡Dos! Reviews

Here's my written reviews/commentaries of Uno and Dos. They're just interpretations and comments on each song, really. Everything about the vague "story" is totally personal, I just want to stress that I'm not implying anything about Billie himself at any point unless I say that. Enjoy!


Gonna ride the world like a merry-go round...

The perfect opener, Nuclear Family sets the scene for the entire trilogy. Although I know none of them are deliberately concept albums, I do see a vague story, so that's what my interpretation is. The narrator is a man stuck in his stagnant nuclear family life, realising that he's sick of it; he needs something new. A nuclear bomb about to detonate.

I've probably heard Stay the Night too many times since we first got that live version from Dublin, but it's still an anthem. It's a song about not being able to forget someone, needing to know if they're the one that got away; even though it feels like it was never meant to be. With lines like I wanna break your heart until it makes your stomach churn you could wonder if the narrator wants to hurt the person he's speaking to, but in the second verse you realise that all he really wants is to watch the stars until the sun begins to rise; he's just trying to hide his tender feelings because maybe he's afraid of getting hurt.

Does the future have enough time to live in the moment?

That's the note on Carpe Diem in the Uno book, and I think it describes the song perfectly. The narrator, still stuck in his miserable everyday life, is trying to decide whether to turn his back on it and seize the day while he still can.

I do like this song, but it seems more average than some of the other songs on Uno. It has a great message, though.

I remember being so excited to hear the studio version of Let Yourself Go because it sounded so damn good live... and one of the things that makes Uno so special is that as much as it's possible in the studio, the songs still have a live feel. It works so well with this one, I love it. The perfect fuck you song, the narrator has found the courage to tell the people around him what he really thinks, and is finally trying to let it all go. I'm sick to death of your every last breath and I don't give a fuck anyway...

The last thing you'd expect from Green Day, Kill the DJ is probably the most adventurous song on Uno. It works, too. It makes you want to dance, it's sexy, it's interesting.

A lot of DJs probably expected Billie to show up and stab them in the night, but the DJ is just a metaphor. It's the noise, the shit we're fed from so many different places in the first world. It's about drinking yourself into oblivion, the voices in your head. I couldn't work out whether I loved or disliked this song, but I decided that I love it.

Fell for You is my favourite song on Uno. It captures perfectly that moment of "oh shit" when you realise that you've fallen head over heels in love; trying to be "big" and deny it, but you can't. The girl the narrator's fallen for might be out of sight now but she's not out of mind. He's dreaming of only her; he's not supposed to be in love with her, it's almost frightening, but he is. It's beautiful, and it shows that brutally honest side of love that has nothing to do with sex... which is probably why it's so touching and easy to relate to.

Filled with anger, Loss of Control is the harsh realisation that you hate everyone around you; they've all changed and you start to think you never liked them in the first place. It might be well hidden, but there's a real sadness in there too. Life's a cruel crushing bastard crime probably translates to "life's not fair". It's not, and maybe that sparks the narrator's decision to turn his back on it and pursue the girl in Fell for You.

It took me a while to appreciate Troublemaker properly, but I got there eventually. It's as brutally honest as Fell for You but completely different. The narrator wants more than the dream of kissing her lips now. It's a song about being a guy, lusting after the girl he wants so much that thinking of her is giving me a cardiac arrest when I'm sitting at the traffic light.

I say Fell for You is my favourite, but it's a really hard decision between that and Angel Blue. They're both totally outstanding songs for me, and this one is full of energy with some seriously awesome guitar riffs.

Now the narrator has truly decided to pursue this girl, but she obviously hasn't committed to it yet. I can't help hearing won't you be my bloody Valentine? as we'd say it in England, but it's probably a metaphor for wanting to take the girl's virginity. The lust is as evident as it is in Troublemaker, but there's still hints that it's more than that; Stab my heart like a stick in the mud / Cut my chest just to see the blood / Now I'm singing out the alphabet / As the tears are putting out my cigarette. It's filled with desperation, knowing that she wants to but she won't, and wanting to hurt her in return because she's tearing him apart. There's also the battle with commitment, knowing that this is "wrong" not just because he's married, but a lot of the phrases in the song stress her young age; bloody Valentine / senorita / you're just a fucking kid / teenage traces.

Sweet 16 is the only song I found disappointing. It's probably my fault for listening to a bad live recording where it sounded better, but it's dull and just doesn't have the energy that the rest of Uno has. The emotion in Billie's voice is beautiful, though, and it does perfectly represent the nostalgia of being in love with a memory, despite the bittersweet haze that surrounds the present. Definitely my least favourite trilogy song so far.

Billie has pretty much explained Rusty James perfectly. It's a "fuck you" to the old scene that the band were once a part of, filled with bitterness. The title is a reference to the book Rumble Fish. In the context of the "story", I think it adds to the general "goodbye to the past" vibe that's lurking in the latter songs of Uno.

I did overplay Oh Love when it was released, and I wasn't a fan of Sam Bayer's video (not because of the content, but because it was so badly done), but that doesn't stop it from being the perfect closer.

It finally moves solely onto the new love - and sexual tension - that's been haunting the narrator since Stay the Night. Everything else has been left behind. After the, er, Sam Bayer incident, a lot of people saw this song as being about cheap one night stands and sex with no strings attatched. I still don't see it that way. It's full of lust and desire, but love is a part of it too. Oh love, won't you rain on me tonight? / Won't you take me close to you? - please, can he finally have this girl? I'm wearing my heart on a noose / Talk myself out of feeling / Talk myself out of falling in love; he's still trying to hold himself back, but in the end he gives in. Tonight my heart's on the loose...

After getting over how much I overplayed this song, it's actually one of my favourites from Uno. It's an anthem that's exactly what it's supposed to be. Love it.

Favourite songs: Fell For You, Angel Blue, Kill the DJ and Oh Love.


Dos opens with the sweet and simple See You Tonight, with the narrator innocently musing over whether he'll see someone tonight or not. He evidently does, because the hazy innocence is suddenly interrupted by the thud of Fuck Time. The title speaks for itself, but although this song's just simple fun, the silliness has been muted enough for it to not sound completely ridiculous.

It doesn't stop there. If we're talking about this in terms of a story, let's go back to Uno for a moment; it closes with Oh Love, promising that tonight my heart's on the loose. The narrator is finally getting the girl from Angel Blue to surrender. You don't have to analyze anything to realise what's going on here.

After Stop When the Red Lights Flash, Dos suddenly lurches away from sex into the darkness of Lazy Bones. When this new girl isn't there, the narrator's life and his underlying sadness comes back to haunt him. A lot of people are linking this song to Billie's recent problems, but there's no reason why it has to relate to that at all. It's a song about desperation, sadness, frustration; being drunk is only one of the many symptoms that comes with all of the above. Musically, this song is literally breathtaking. The only problem is that it's so ridiculously good, it's probably easy to overplay.

In Wild One, the relationship the narrator sought is flowering now. Despite the lust and desire that overshadow most of this album, he's obviously falling more in love with this girl the more he gets to know her; even though he's not supposed to and it's putting his heart in danger. I don't think She gave up on Jesus / For living on Venus is literal, but more of a metaphor for the girl abandoning her "normal" life for love and lust. They both know it's wrong but they don't care. I jumped on the grenade... but ...Now that my mind's gonna blow, hello anyway.

This song is beautiful. I love the heavy guitars, the backing vocals, the lyrics.

There's not much to say about Makeout Party. It's dirty, open, with the same fun vibe as Fuck Time and an awesome bass solo. I think the lyrics speak for themselves! Afterwards comes the beautiful, catchy Stray Heart. This is my favourite song from the trilogy. It's so sweet and innocent, with the bittersweet happiness of being in love clashing with the fact that this girl's forbidden. There's a sad desperation too, masked by the happy bassline and fun vibe. We'll never part yet I just can't have you is a contradiction that confused a lot of people, but I see that as they'll never part, yet he can't really have her because he already belongs to someone else. The heart which is now stray went to another a long time ago... but she's the only one he's dreaming of. This relationship has torn her precious heart apart.

Slightly reminiscent of The Jam's Town Called Malice (which is in turn another rip off of another song) or not, this song is perfect.

Ashley is an anger-filled fuck you to the narrator's past, maybe a metaphor for all of his previous relationships. He's finally grown up and realised what they really were; and now with this new love, he's able to move on and let go. Are you crying on my cold shoulder? is one of my favourite lines from Dos, and proof that Billie is still capable of writing incredible metaphors. With an intro that seems slightly clumsy after Stray Heart, I warmed up to this song after a few listens. It seems very strange now that I felt it was filler at first!

Baby Eyes sees the out-of-control narrator insistently spitting out all his faults, warning the girl how he really is; maybe going back to that line Your precious heart was torn apart by me and you, aware of how he's now tearing apart her life. This is another one that's appreciated more after a few listens, and is probably my favourite song on Dos after Stray Heart. It has so much energy and is lyrically my favourite trilogy song so far. Some of the lines/metaphors are just incredible - Year of the rat, last of the litter / Somebody shot the babysitter / ... / I pull the trigger from the shooting stars / I am the motor in your crashing car / ... / I am the bullet in your magazine. Billie's songwriting is truly at its best in this song.

The album takes another turn with Lady Cobra. A great song, not repetitive at all; openly dark and dirty. It talks about seduction and inner demons, implying a romantic attachment, but I don't think it actually means that at all. The seduction probably refers to encouraging the narrator into things like alcohol, drugs, self-harm, etc; and even daring him to do crazy things. The note on the song in the boxset edition is "Drive up this road, hang a left, then go down, down, down, blackout & take your hands off the wheel" - that's a perfect example of one of those crazy things. Maybe she even encourages him to go further with this forbidden girl... either way, she seems the perfect companion for the narrator in his current state.

Lady Cobra almost like an introduction to what comes next... the dreaded Nightlife. Green Day and rap? Disaster? I don't think so, actually. On my first listen I thought they could really have left Lady Cobra out at her second part, but with each listen it grew on me more and more. It's inevitable that many fans are going to hate it, but if you can get past your dislike for rap, it's actually a really great song. The sleazy beat fits the lyrics perfectly, digging further into the dark and dirty theme of Dos. Lady Cobra gives it the sexy feel that it needed. Never thought I'd be listening to rap on the train, but there you go.

Back to the relationship that's plagued this album, Wow! That's Loud lives up to its name. The title and the line Wow! That dirty dress is so loud are slightly cringey, but when it's lost in great lines like You're such a beautiful mess tonight you hardly notice it. This song has some amazing guitar riffs and harmonies, and sees the narrator obsessed even with this girl's bright clothing; it could be literal and it could also be considered a metaphor that reflects her personality, or their chaotic relationship. The (metaphorical) party's coming to an end.

I know that there's no literal party happening anywhere in the trilogy, but I think that's a reasonably good metaphor for what's going on; giving in to temptation, getting involved in shit you shouldn't, just losing control... and then it's over. Amy, the beautiful and tender tribute to Amy Winehouse, is the perfect closer. Maybe it fits into the story; maybe the couple are coming to terms with reality, realising that life's not a party... what have they done? Tre will apparently be the self-reflection and (metaphorical) morning after.

Favourite songs: Stray Heart, Baby Eyes and Wild One. Although I do love Lazy Bones and Ashley... this picking favourites shit is too hard.

Overall, both of these albums exceeded my expectations completely. I'm not the kind of person who loves something just because it's Green Day, so I'm seriously impressed that I love almost every one of these songs. There's probably more that I'm not as bothered about on Uno, but I still don't prefer Dos. They're both completely different and equally amazing. There's some songs where Billie is as much at his best lyrically as he was with 21st Century Breakdown. If Tre is better than these two then I have no idea what to expect.

Edit - here's Tre: http://www.greendaycommunity.org/blog/127/entry-1192-tr-reviewcommentary/



So because I was finding it difficult to review Uno in words, I decided to do it in art instead. I wanted to use all my own work but I didn't have a male model so ended up using photos of Billie. It's basically just my interpretation of each song as a picture. Enjoy!

Nuclear Family


Stay the Night


Carpe Diem


Let Yourself Go


Kill the DJ


Fell for You


Loss of Control




Angel Blue


Sweet 16


Rusty James


Oh Love


Sorry for the obnoxious watermarks, there's some assholes out there. Thanks to Joy for the photo used on Carpe Diem!


Stray Heart

The first time I ever heard a crappy live recording of this song, just half of it from the Tiki Bar, I knew it was going to be one of my favourites (or even favourite, non-plural, actually). When an even worse quality recording of the full thing surfaced from the Austin show, I loved it even more. I hurt my ears playing that awful recording over and over. I could have got sick of it... but somehow I'm not. Even though I've apparently played the studio version 204 times already.

That's enough fangirling about how much I love it. A lot of people see this song as an apology, or being about cheating, but I've never really felt that. To me - and I'm in no way implying anything about Billie, this is just me and my personal analysis - it's simply about having a stray heart. It's about being in love with someone you're not supposed to be in love with. "I just can't have you" yet "we'll never part" is a contradiction, but to me that translates to "I'm not supposed to have you" or, in simpler terms, "I can't have you because I already belong to sombody else". The heart which is now stray went to another a long time ago, but you're dreaming of the person you can't have... without a home, because your heart's strayed from the home you have.

The upbeat tempo and awesome bassline masks a sort of sadness somewhere in the lyrics, the desperation that goes with needing someone and needing them to accept you; but a lovestruck happiness is mixed in at the same time. It's beautiful, it's open, it's not trying to hide anything. And I can relate to it so damn much, even if that's not what Billie had in mind when he wrote it.

Yeah, I can go on about one song for that long. Sorry if you were expecting something more exciting. I just wanted to write something about this beautiful song, and what it means to me.


Thank you for voting for me as Best Writer!

I just want to say a massive thank you to everyone who voted for me as Best Writer. I'm honestly really honoured, I never thought that I'd win. It's so easy to feel insignificant and invisible as a writer, especially when you don't feel like anyone's interested and you're turned away by agents. This is what I want to do with my life and the one thing I have confidence in, so it's awesome that you guys appreciate it.

I know it's just a banner on a forum, but it really means something to me. You never know with GDC anyway, I'm sure the banner has magic qualities or something dirty behind it. Or that I just have some awesome people reading my work. I mean that.

I've got a few songs to post and hopefully the next part of Andy & Angel will be done soon. I've nearly got a second chapter of Fame Stained Love too, but I'm a bit stuck with it so I'm not sure when that'll happen. There's a few other novels I could start posting, but I don't know how you guys feel about reading loads all at once.

Thank you!!!



Green Day: Rock am See, Konstanz - Recap

This felt like it was months away... then suddenly we were leaving home with our suitcases. It took us about 16 hours to get there in the end. I got food poisoning and passed out on the way. When we got to Konstanz, border protection dragged us off to a room where we were ordered to put our bags on the counter and empty our pockets. A guy grabbed our passports and got on the phone to someone. Then the woman put some latex gloves on, stretching her fingers and staring straight at me. Oh my God.

Well, I think the drug smuggler in there was the only thing that saved me just there. They all had to run over to pin him down and one hurried back over to tell us we could leave, have a nice stay in Konstanz. Phew. This was all for no apparent reason, of course. I got a rash from being searched with the latex gloves but that could have been much worse...

We got to the festival about an hour before the doors opened and managed to get a good view on the second barrier. This was my first festival so I wasn't sure what it'd be like, but it wasn't as bad as I expected at all. Itchy Poopzkid were the first band and they were actually alright. I probably liked Jupiter Jones better but nobody really seemed interested in them.

They were certainly both better than Angels and Airwaves. No offence if you like them, but why is it necessary to have some sort of space noise in every song? They sounded like a cat whining to a bad sci-fi soundtrack. I was glad when they finished.

Kraft Klub were next. I knew they have some issue with Green Day, but I'm ashamed to say I don't speak a word of German, so I didn't know whether they were yelling "fuck you Green Day, Billy Jo is gay!" or not. So... yeah, I couldn't really enjoy their set, although they were alright too and definitely got the crowd going.

I was looking forward to Flogging Molly, I'm just a casual fan who doesn't know all the songs or anything like that but I do like them. They were great, they had loads of energy and got the crowd going too. I never thought they'd play Drunken Lullabies which is the song that got me into them, but they did! That was awesome, the first time I was actually able to sing along and felt like dancing. A while later the singer dedicated a song to Billie. He said Green Day are a bunch of jackasses that never fail to surprise you or something like that, haha. Seems like they were glad to see each other, anyway.

I'm not a fan but I felt bad for Social Distortion. They were definitely the least appreciated band, hardly anybody was getting into their set. I wasn't really into them either though, maybe I'd have liked them better if I knew their songs.

And then, after standing all day long, it was finally time for what we'd all been waiting for. Green Day ran onstage and opened with Welcome to Paradise. It was amazing to finally feel like really dancing and singing.

Let Yourself Go was awesome! Loads of energy, a great live song. People seemed to think I was weird for singing along, but I didn't care. Most people knew Oh Love already. It's a real anthem live.

You probably all already know how I feel about Letterbomb and how the people around me get deafened/knocked out so I'll just leave you with that. I really hoped they'd play Knowledge and get people onstage, so I screamed and screamed when Billie asked for a drummer even though I knew I was too far away. Of course I didn't end up playing, but still cool to see that they're doing that again.

They seemed really into the Wall of Death thing here, I think they did it three times in Green Day's set, including at the beginning of She which was... different. I remember shouting "no thank you, Billie!"

I videoed King for a Day since that was the first time I wasn't so bothered about watching, but the sound on my phone sucks unfortunately. I'll upload it if anyone wants to see it though. Mike sang in Shout again, which was cool.

Minority was great, but I knew that indicated the last part of the show so it was kind of sad, too. I really enjoyed 99 Revolutions that night, it didn't seem as repetitive at all. Every time I thought they'd finished, Billie yelled "one more time!" and they played the last chorus again. Awesome.

I still think Good Riddance is the perfect closer, I wasn't sure when I saw Billie came back but once he started playing I remembered what a special moment it is. I think I'd just started crying when a woman in front of me climbed on someone's shoulders and directly obscured my view. Spoiled the moment a bit, but still, it was really special to see that again.

I don't know why you always hope that they'll come back, even though you know they've finished. Well, they hadn't quite finished. I looked up and saw Billie - nude except for black panties - running offstage. I missed the bum-viewing, but yeah, he'd just put his ass away and was running off again. Priceless.

It was an awesome show, worth all the waiting and the crazy journey. Billie did seem tired but he still put everything into playing. I'm so glad I went... but sad that it's over now.

So that was that. I wanted to write more but the setlist was quite similar to London and I don't want to just repeat what I said in that recap. The next day we went sightseeing with some other GDCers which was awesome, too. It's amazing how Green Day brings people together - people who understand each other - who'd never normally meet.

Photos from Konstanz (the town, not the show) are here in my art thread. :)


Green Day: O2 Shepherd's Bush Empire, London - Recap

Posted this in the London thread, but here it is in case you missed it. Recap of the awesome London show as I promised!

We got up at 3am to make sure we caught the bus. It was about 7am when it finally left and we didn't really get any more sleep. We met up with Liam at the bus station and managed to find our way to Shepherd's Bush on the tube, then joined the queue. I was number 56. It just wouldn't sink in that we were going to see Green Day later.

It was awesome to hang out with other GD fans, it really makes lining up so much more fun. Although it was a shame the big meet-up couldn't really happen because of how the queue was.

The Green Day cars arrived, the Jasons and Jeff all piled out and Tre waved to everyone. It seemed like forever until the doors eventually opened and a few people were pushing into the queue who'd only just arrived. But finally we got in... and me, Joy and Liam all got the barrier on Jason's side. The microphones and Tre's kit were sitting expectantly on the small stage, the lights low and so fucking close. I'd been on the barrier before but not at a show like this. It was unreal to think that in a couple of hours, Green Day were going to stroll onto that stage.

The wait for that seemed like forever, too. We watched techs test the drums and the guitars, put the missing mic neatly in Billie's stand. The crowd clapped and chanted but still nothing happened. Song after song played on the speakers.

Then suddenly the music just stopped. The lights dimmed completely and there was Tre, walking onstage to Billie's place. And announcing that Billie has laryngitis but no worries, he's here... playing All By Myself. But Billie (who of course was perfectly healthy) followed with a cheeky look on his face and went to play the drum kit. What a crazy and awesome opener.

The rest of the band joined them and they started with Welcome to Paradise. Burnout. Everyone was screaming, but it was only just beginning. Know Your Enemy started to really get everyone going, jumping up and down and moshing. In the solo Billie ran over to our side and locked eyes with me for a few seconds. He really smiled and it was so awesome to see that he still remembered me.

Nuclear Family is fucking incredible - definitely one of my favourites from the new songs. I know we've already heard HQ recordings of it, but you can't really get the full experience until you've seen it live. I really hope they open with it on the full tour... it'd be one of their most amazing openers yet. It has so much energy, the line "gonna ride the world like a merry-go round" is perfect to describe the whole song. Or maybe that doesn't make any sense at all if you haven't seen it yourself.

That was what really set the crowd off too. I was rammed into the barrier and drenched in sweat (my own and everyone else's) but in a way, it's not a gig without that. I think that was when it really started to get going.

Stay the Night is obviously an amazing one too, I feel like I already know the song so well but it was the first time I actually saw it live. Billie's definitely right in joking that everyone already knows all the words for an album that isn't out yet!

I really loved Stop When the Red Lights Flash, I couldn't believe they played it. I can't always get into a song without knowing the lyrics, but this one was definitely awesome even though the crowd only seemed to know "I'll make you surrender" from the chorus.

Oh Love is brilliant live with everyone singing their hearts out, I can see why people who weren't into the album version feel differently about the live one. Lady Cobra is good although not one of my favourites, it has a great (and not repetitive) chorus. You've all already heard it courtesy of DJ Armstrong on Radio One so I'll leave it at that.

Holiday is always an anthem, no matter how many times you see it. I never get any less excited about hearing "the representative of (place name here) has the floor". Which in this case was England. Awesome.

Oh my God, Letterbomb. It was creepy because when Holiday ended I was thinking "they should follow this up with Letterbomb, that'd be the best thing ever" and a few seconds later, Billie started playing it. I couldn't believe it. But anyway, this is one of my top three favourite songs, ever. I was stood here at this tiny secret show in London and fuck, they were playing fucking Letterbomb. It was just as special as the first time I saw it. I'm sorry if any of you guys were the people surrounding me who had to deal with my enthusiastic singing and dancing. I probably knocked several people out. Just kidding of course.

In Hitchin' a Ride Billie did his "new dance" which I'll direct you to in video format at the end of this recap, then complained that he'd tired himself out. He seemed so happy and excited, though.

2000 Light Years Away never gets old. That song has become so special to me because of personal stuff, I was so happy that they played it. They played mostly older songs after that, like Going to Pasalacqua, Brain Stew, St. Jimmy, She, When I Come Around...

The crowd did get quite violent although I don't think it was anywhere near as bad on our side. The guy next to me was trying shove me out of my place and kept elbowing me/shouting at me when I tried to stop him, and there was one behind who just kept throwing himself into people. I was really squashed at this point and hadn't been able to breathe properly for a while, but the great view was worth it. It's so easy to let those people ruin the night for you, but I knew better this time. I just ignored them, firmly protected my place and kept enjoying the show.

I must admit that I'm beginning to agree with the people who say King for a Day should be dropped, I'd much rather have seen other songs that night. It was great to see Mike and Jason dancing again though, haha. Minority has never been one of my favourite songs, but it's always amazing live and was no different last night.

The encore was American Idiot and 99 Revolutions, which sounds so much better in reality than it does on the live Summer Sonic version. I thought it was a bit dull there, but although the chorus just says "99 revolutions tonight" over and over, it's really catchy and has loads of energy. A weird closer, but an enjoyable one; and a great anthem for everyone to sing along to.

Then suddenly it was over, at exactly 11pm. It's somehow easier to take in when there's an acoustic song like Good Riddance as a closer... but I think with it being 99 Revolutions we were all somehow waiting for them to come back. Of course they didn't though, so we went to buy merch, all feeling half-dead, and eventually had an adventure trying to find somewhere to sleep until the bus station opened. It ended up being a cold bus stop. We do things for this band that we'd never normally do in reality...


Green Day: Following the 21st Century Breakdown Tour #3

The day after the Phoenix show we went to the Grand Canyon, which was pretty awesome. There was some funny story about the bus taking off on the highway and an elk, but I don't remember so I'll just leave that there. Arizona is still one of my favourite places that I've ever been... but anyway, on to San Francisco.

We had two days before the Green Day show, but our hotel was in the middle of nowhere. No shops, nothing. The only link to civilization was a little shuttle bus which took us to Burlingame where we managed to get the CalTrain into San Fran, and then a taxi to Golden Gate Bridge. We walked all the way across and all the way back. 4 miles and our legs were about to fall apart, but it was worth it.

When we tried to call a taxi on the way back, they refused to pick us up because we were calling from a UK phone. Because of the fog, the place was completely deserted. Fuck. In desperation after waiting in the cold for about an hour, we got on the first bus that came past. We had to change halfway through the journey, in the middle of a very dodgy-looking neighbourhood. We had no idea where we were or if we were even going the right way. Fortunately, though, the next bus did take us back to the CalTrain station. Disaster narrowly avoided.

So the next day we got on the CalTrain to Mountain View and tried to work out how to get to the Shoreline Amphitheatre, where Green Day would be playing. There was no CalTrain back to Burlingame after the show finished, so we were considering sleeping at the station. We weren't entirely sure where we were going, though, and got cornered by two seriously creepy blokes. Everyone else disappeared when they came along. The only reason we got away was because Smelly said "look, there's our train!" so we legged it before they could do anything. It wasn't even our train but we didn't care, at least we got away. Now what did we do after the show, though? We couldn't sleep at the station after that. We only had about $100 left altogether, and a taxi would be something crazy like $180... but we managed to sort something out with a guy called Roger, a fixed taxi fare for $50.

Finally it was the day of the show. All tickets were seated, so we just got the CalTrain back to Mountain View in the afternoon and took a walk down to the venue (with the help of Google Maps, or a photo of it from one of the hotel computer screens, to be precise). The road was starting to get jammed with lines of Green Day fans in cars. Everyone was stopping in Taco Bell to use the toilet and it was blocked by the time it was my turn.

We didn't actually have our tickets yet, some eBay person was supposed to be meeting us with them. There were very nervous moments when they were late, but they showed up eventually. There were actually three of them. Apparently they'd fucked up with someone else's tickets, so they ended up giving us better ones, which I was annoyed about at the time because they were further to the side. When we actually got there, though, we had a perfect view of the stage. I was so glad we'd accepted the different tickets.

AFI were the support act and were quite good. Especially when Green Day invaded the stage in animal costumes and attacked them.

It was getting dark when finally Song of the Century echoed through the amphitheatre. This was the last stop of the North American Tour. I couldn't believe I was really stood there, in fucking California! I was really here, at the homecoming show, about to see Green Day. Pretty unreal.

They ran onstage with all the usual energy in 21st Century Breakdown, Billie screamed all the unfamiliar town names that we'd sped past on the CalTrain. I had an England flag that I was waving around, and when Mike saw it he smiled and pointed at me. Shit, he remembered me too! When he came right out to that side he was literally right in front of me and beckoned for me to high-five him. Security stopped me, but he's such an awesome guy, I couldn't believe it. I was directly in his line of view so for ages he kept interacting with me, singing and pulling faces. I'm still so honoured and overwhelmed to have rocked out with Mike Dirnt, that meant so much to me that he even cared enough to remember who I was.

They played Murder City and Letterbomb again, and of course Cigarettes and Valentines! Then some great oldies like Paper Lanterns and Only of You. And also one of my biggest asshole moments ever... in 2000 Light Years Away (which still never gets old), Billie was getting people up on stage. I didn't make an effort to get up there, I don't want to be too in their faces or anything like that. But the people around me were all screaming "GO! GO! GO!!!" at me and it was only afterwards that I realised - Mike and the security guy were actually beckoning for me to get up there. There's bloody me thinking I don't want to be in their faces, and they were actually inviting me... I could be telling you about my amazing on-stage experience, but sadly I'm not. Still, never mind. Just seeing them - and certainly rocking out with Mike - is good enough for me.

In that beautiful piano part in 21 Guns, Billie talked about the tour and said "thank you for the last 22 years". No, thank you, Green Day.

Then it was American Eulogy, with all that awesome energy and fire that's always the climax of the show. I remember looking up at the stars in the encore and crying. It wasn't just because the tour was over... it was because of personal stuff, too, but I won't go into that here.

And then... then it really was over. After some predictable (it was us, you know, so something bad has to happen) confusion over the taxi, we got back to the hotel. The next morning we packed our bags to leave, got the shuttle bus back to San Francisco International Airport. California faded away beneath the clouds and we left America behind.

It was cold and miserable in England. I was so jetlagged. I never sleep, but the day after we got back I woke up so late that school had already finished. I think I missed more lessons due to that than the actual travelling.

Well, life went on. More mortgage arrears built up, we were still living on toast and Super Noodles. We couldn't have paid the bills even if we hadn't been to Green Day.

When it was announced that Billie would be playing St. Jimmy in the American Idiot musical that year, we would have loved to go... but there was no way we could afford it. We hadn't even thought about the Latin American tour dates... but was there a tiny chance that we had enough time to save up?

I started looking at flights. The only possibilites were Caracas or Costa Rica, the others were far too expensive. Costa Rica was the last stop of the tour, so it gave us more time to save up and would probably be an awesome show. We began to spend all our time selling our stuff on eBay. Every day we'd grab more things out of the cupboard, take photos of them, spend the rest of the day listing them. It doesn't sound like much, but I can't describe how much that burns you out... my eyes were sore and bloodshot from staring at the computer screen, I hardly slept, I was mentally exhausted. It still didn't seem like we were going to make it. Then in the last week before the show, we worked harder than ever. We ditched all the bills. The day before we were supposed to fly, we counted the funds, went down to the travel agent and booked everything. Then we ran home to pack our bags. We didn't have tickets to the show... we'd just have to hope that we could get them when we arrived. I had a Maths exam that week. I'd already missed one... if I missed this one too - which I was going to - I'd have to do the much more difficult option. I'm useless at Maths, I had no chance of passing the harder one. Well, too bad. The chance to see the last stop of the Green Day tour in Costa Rica was not going to be there next year... in fact it might never be there again, for me. Fuck the exam.

That night we were on the plane to New York. Of course, when we got there, they didn't stamp Smelly's passport again. We got dragged off to "the office", except this time they pretended it was a computer glitch. It wasn't as bad because we knew what was going on, but if we missed the flight to San José, we missed the concert. We escaped just in time, but someone had walked off with Smelly's bag. The airport staff couldn't help, they said we had to file a report in San José. Well, something bad had to happen. At least we made the flight. I had to take off my Converse which stank at this point and probably killed several people, but I managed not to get arrested for manslaughter.

It was a relief in Costa Rica when they didn't care about the passport problem, they just let us through like everyone else. And Smelly's bag was there! Hooray!

After what I'd read on the Internet about San José, I was expecting the exit to open out onto a ghetto teeming with murderers, rapists and drug dealers. The exit opened out onto a pleasant, clean room full of friendly uniformed taxi drivers. They were completely safe and official. Our hotel was fine, too. Don't believe everything you read online.

The next morning we got up super early to get to the venue and managed to buy some tickets on the way. They didn't give us our change, but at least we got them. And Smelly spoke Spanish (with random bits of Portuguese mixed in) so there were no problems there.

We spent the morning sitting in bird shit and got filmed with our England flag by some Costa Rican TV people, which was kind of cool.

Eventually the line moved up and we went to hang out with some GDCers. Me and a guy called Alejandro went down to the McDonald's to get some food, where we thought halfway through the journey back that Green Day were soundchecking Nice Guys Finish Last and ran all the way back. Turns out it was just the support act prodding the drums and everyone had stood up for some reason. Never mind.

Finally the doors opened. I ran as fast as I could and got stopped by security. So I started running again... and my trousers fell straight down. Sadly I'm not joking, but my main concern wasn't that I was stood there with my pink panties and belly on display but that I might not make the barrier. I pulled them back up but fuck, they weren't having any of it. I had to run while holding them, and when I got to the front the barrier was full. Well, we still had a good spot on the second row.

When Green Day came onstage it went crazy. I'm pretty strong so I was alright, I was keeping my balance and my place. Then I got strangled by two different people. There wasn't much I could do about that... I got pulled out. So I ended up at the side, where I realised that my passport had been stolen. I didn't even know where Smelly was and the only Spanish I knew was "I don't speak Spanish". It was pretty bad, I could have given up and not enjoyed the show. But I didn't travel 6000 miles to do that. Green Day put on a brilliant show no matter where you are. I forgot about what had happened and it was still one of the most amazing nights of my entire life.

In Holiday Billie and Mike ran over to that side, and both smiled and pointed at me again. I wanted to thank them just for remembering me but I didn't know how.

And then... then they played ¡Viva La Gloria!. I'd been waiting the entire tour to hear this song and fuck, here I was in Costa Rica and they were finally playing it. No song has ever meant more to me than that one has, and I was really there seeing them play it. Then the show went on and they played Brat, One of My Lies, Road to Acceptance, Disappearing Boy, I Was There, Only of You, Paper Lanterns, Christie Road and Waiting. I don’t even have any words for it. I was standing there thinking “fuck, I can’t believe this is actually happening to me!”

I've never been a fan of Extraordinary Girl but it was beautiful acoustic before 21 Guns. 21 Guns still remains one of the most beautiful and emotional moments of the show. I remember waving my England flag and screaming the words as best as I could after being strangled. They played for nearly four hours, Billie screamed that they were going to play all night long.

Even Tre smiled and nodded at me when he got up to throw his drumsticks out. I went to the shows to see them, I never expected to get anything back from them. It's so awesome and so meaningful that they actually care.

One of the last songs was Whatsername, acoustic. So damn beautiful and so appropriate for the very last show, I don't even know why. I was singing the words back at Billie with a wobbly voice and tears in my eyes. Then Wake Me Up When September Ends - where it rained a bit - and finally, Good Riddance. For the last time. The 21st Century Breakdown Tour was over.

And I definitely, without question, had the time of my fucking life.

There's more to tell about what happened after the show in Costa Rica, but I kind of feel like it should end there. I did get my passport back, eventually. We went to see the Irazu volcano which was great, and on our last day, the guys in the hotel car park said the downpour of rain was Costa Rica crying because we were leaving. Most of them were all so nice. It was a great and beautiful country, nothing like the bad things people say on the Internet.

And in case you wondered... I did pass that Maths exam, with a better grade than anyone expected. I passed all my exams, despite everything. And you know what? I don't think I actually would have done if it hadn't been for Green Day and following the tour. Before it all happened, I had an empty life with nothing left... and Green Day gave me back strength, inspiration and life. Those experiences made me the good, strong person I am today. Eventually Smelly lost her job and we lost our house. But I don't regret one second. It was worth it, it gave me everything I have right now.

So, thank you for reading! If anyone's interested I'll probably write up a recap of American Idiot, too, because that was a whole other adventure on its own. For now, though, this is my 21CB tour recap done. I'm going to leave you with my two favourite Green Day lyrics of all time:

You found a home in all your scars and ammunition / Don't put away your burning light!


This is a continuation from part one, my recap of following the 21st Century Breakdown tour. This part is where it really got serious - more shows, more miles were involved and bad things started happening. Following Green Day across Europe and then across the Atlantic Ocean was the best thing I ever did. I'll never regret one second of it, but it wasn't all so rosy...

Nottingham, June 16th. Bags packed, tickets in hand and boarding a train bound for Manchester. It only seemed like two seconds since the last time. This was it... for us, the real start of the 2010 tour.

I'd been ill, we were used to seats. But as the train pulled in before midday, I realised something. I wasn't ill anymore, all tickets to this show were GA - seats or pit, whatever. Why would I sit in a seat, miles from the stage? We dumped our bags at the hotel and ran for the tram to the cricket ground.

It was chock solid with Green Day fans, the few bewildered Manchester people going about their everyday lives looking baffled, almost frightened. Several of the Green Day fans looked baffled too. Was this the right tram? Where exactly did it stop? Would the line already be massive?

A young couple started chatting to us and along with a few other fans, we agreed that we'd stick together. When we finally got off at the LCCC, the others soon disappeared. We were on our own.

We were a little sceptical about trying to get further up the queue, but nobody seemed concerned; there were a lot of casual fans who were happy to let others be closer to the front. Cautiously we squeezed through the tightly-packed line in the boiling sun, until we were as far as we were going to get. It really was boiling - the muggy English city heat that's more suffocating than pleasant. A man with a crate was barging his way through the queue, handing out boxes of free Krave cereal. I know we took one because I remember eating it months later when we had no money for food.

A group of topless blokes were writing "GEORGE" on anyone they could grab. I don't think there was even a reason, everyone was George that day. We were all in the Green Day spirit. I let them write on my arm... then I realised that it was permanent marker. If I didn't get it off and I got sunburnt - which was inevitable - then I was going to have GEORGE emblazoned onto my arm for God knows how long. That wouldn't go down very well back home. Of course, though, my water couldn't remove permanent marker. But fortunately a helpful woman came along, grabbed the breath freshener from her bag and got it off. Yeah. Smelly's always carried breath freshener with her ever since then. Just in case.

It seemed like forever until the queue started to move. People were hurling 2ltr bottles of Pepsi over everyone's heads and a few people were getting injured. You just had to hope you weren't one of them. I got soaked in beer, but it's not a concert if someone doesn't pour some form of beer on you.

Finally they opened the gates. If anyone ran, security told you they'd kick you out. The best you could do was a fast walk. We got second row on Mike's side, but all the people around us were pretty cool and there was enough room for me on the barrier, so I managed to squeeze in. Shit. This was my first front row experience... and it was fucking incredible.

I couldn't see that much because we were pretty far to the side, and Tre was completely blocked by Jason Freese's piano. When Billie and Mike came over that way, though, fuck - they were so close. They were literally right in front of me. I was in awe. Mike looks so "perfect" in reality - like someone's drawn him, he's not really real.

I've searched Youtube over and over again for this moment but I just can't find it. When Billie came over that way, he stopped in front of me and pointed, smiling. I couldn't believe it. Even though I'd been in the seats, he still recognized me. For three seconds I meant something to him, and that meant everything to me. I can still see him stood there now.

This is another one that's never been my favourite song, but St. Jimmy that night was one of the most incredible moments of all. Everyone was dancing, all of us on the front row, we were all screaming and having fun and losing control. Nobody was trying to get the better of anybody else. For that one moment we were all united by this one thing, all together and all equal.

Sadly though it didn't stay that way. Every time someone got pulled out - which was often, it was so hot - another person would elbow their way into the space it made. I prayed no-one would get pulled out next to me, but they did. I had to move to let security through and a young girl barged into my space.

It was still a great show, though. Eventually we headed to the back because there were a few people up there who were spoiling it for everyone else. It didn't matter. The time I spent on the front row was one of the most amazing things that ever happened to me. I remember standing there at the back, singing When It's Time with tears in my eyes. No matter where you are, the Green Day energy and feeling is still the same.

Next stop, Wembley Stadium. We almost didn't go to this show, but eventually we got a cheap direct ticket on the National Express (non-UK people - they're a coach company). We knew there was no hope for the front row this time, we were just going to hang back and enjoy the show; the biggest show that Green Day have ever played.

They made the most of it, too. Neither of us could believe it when they played Waiting or even when Tre played Dominated Love Slave. I remember us going totally crazy and nobody around us having any idea why, haha. The general atmosphere stood out to me the least of all the shows I saw, but I'm so glad we went. Just being there radiated (for lack of a better word) awesomeness on its own, and Green Day put on a brilliant show. They had so much confidence and that was so great and refreshing to see.

It was straight back on the bus as soon as the show was over, although a few people were late back so I bought a £2 poster from a guy who said our driver was "bein' a bit of a funny bugger". I don't know why, I still remember that. Probably because of what happened afterwards.

Everything seemed fine. Some other guys sat in our seats so they could go to sleep, but never mind. The pretty lights of Wembley Stadium faded as we drove off into the dark English night. It was over.

I rarely ever sleep - especially in a moving vehicle - but I'd actually managed to nod off for a while. I was jolted awake as the bus stopped at a service station. Everyone was hungry or needed the toilet, so we all piled off the bus. I nearly left my bag and the merch I bought, but I thought better of it. I left the £2 poster.

We bought a couple of drinks, but the food shops were closed. Smelly had been chatting to one of the others from the bus a few minutes ago when we went back outside. Where had the bus parked? We couldn't see it anywhere.

That was because it had already left.

This whole thing is hilarious now. But I assure you, at the time, it was not fucking funny. It was 2am. We were at a motorway service station in the middle of nowhere, miles from home, and we had to be back in Nottingham in a few hours to catch the train to Glasgow. We didn't have a single lifeline. My grandpa might have helped us years ago but he'd probably have had a heart attack, let alone been unable to drive halfway down the M1 in the middle of the night.

It was freezing cold, too. All we had to keep us warm was the Union Jack flag we'd taken to the show. We looked like two avid football supporters, not two cold Green Day fans stranded in the middle of England.

What did we do? A guy with long hair bought Smelly a coffee when he realised, but that wasn't going to get us back home. None of the tired drivers there wanted to go out of their way to take two random women back to Nottingham. Nobody was even going that way.

The only hope was to somehow contact the National Express. Both our phones' batteries were nearly dead after the show and we weren't even sure if we had any documents with their number on them. But thank fucking God, we had one piece of paper and at the bottom was an emergency helpline.

The bloke who picked up was grumpy and unhelpful, pretending he had no idea what I was talking about. Eventually he told us to wait outside immediately. They were diverting a coach from Stansted Airport.

We waited there in the freezing cold for what felt like forever. Nothing happened. Only cars and trucks rolled by. The bus wasn't coming.

Smelly rang the emergency line this time. They'd probably forgotten about us. They said the bus was coming in half an hour. It was over half an hour late - but it got there. It was the shittiest, most uncomfortable coach you get from them, but it didn't matter. Fuck. We were going home. I never got my £2 poster back, which was a shame even though it was shit and unofficial, but never mind.

Whether we'd actually make the train to Glasgow was another matter. We got back to Nottingham and leapt into a taxi. These guys go extra slow so they can get as much money as possible - and we did not need that right now. We had to go home before we could go to the station. Everything we needed for Glasgow - including our train and Green Day tickets - were at home. We dashed in, re-packed our bags, grabbed what we needed and leapt into another taxi. We made it just in time.

We were half-dead, though. We hadn't slept for over 24 hours and we were exhausted from Wembley. There was another close moment when the train got delayed and we almost missed the change-over in Preston. We had to run across the station and throw ourselves onto the next train before the doors closed. On there someone had taken our (reserved) seats, so we ended up standing on our aching legs for most of that journey. I don't remember where else we changed train, it felt like a million different places. But finally we were on the last one to Glasgow, a dirty Virgin Trains thing that was chock-solid with people sweating in the heat and screaming babies. We were in front of the toilet and person after person just kept going in there. I think they were changing their nappies.

Finally, Glasgow. We staggered off the train and were given the wrong tickets to get to the SECC. Fortunately we got off just before the ticket collector reached us.

After not speaking any German in Hannover, we were relieved that people spoke English here. That relief didn't last long. They were all very friendly, but we couldn't understand them and they couldn't understand us. I described it as "Harry Potter spells in a medieval dialect". Oh dear.

Now, it usually rains in Glasgow, or that was what they told us. However, it was scorching hot and the glass "SECC Walkway" was more like an oven. It wasn't even Green Day show heat. It was like a greenhouse but worse. When we were that tired, it wasn't amusing. We were convinced that the Scottish didn't like us and wanted to cook us.

We got to the hotel and checked in. There weren't any shops there, though, and no way to get back to the station except through the oven. We got cooked again.

There was a chip shop by the station, so we went in. That'd be a cheap meal. The foreign guy on the till immediately started hitting on Smelly and tried to set his buddy up with me. They weren't entirely sure what a savaloy was, so discussed it thoroughly amongst themselves before giving us something that looked like a cold unwanted penis. It kind of tasted like one, too, but that's the kind of thing you eat for Green Day. Although I think we threw a bit of the penis away.

We went back through the oven to find that there was a shop in the SECC anyway. We lived on Pot Noodle, Rubicon and crisps for the rest of that trip.

The day of the Green Day show was dawning. We'd bought cheap seated tickets, so we weren't going to line up and didn't have much to do. We hung around the venue to pass the time and saw the band arrive. Tre wound his window down and stuck his tongue out at us. I haven't mentioned yet that I'd been dragging a "Viva La Gloria" banner to each show, and we actually heard them play it in the soundcheck, which was pretty cool. Billie seemed to be struggling with the words though and they didn't end up playing it at the actual show.

We weren't sure with the tickets we'd bought, that we'd even be able to see the band. We could just about see Jason and Billie, and catch a glimpse of Tre every now and then, but Mike was a distant blob. The guy next to me had either shat himself or was trying to propel himself onto the stage with fart power. I remember Billie screaming "FUCK ENGLAND!" and "so much better than England - Scotland always is!"

Ah, Billie. He loves to stir up a bit of competition...

I'm grateful that we saw Green Day again, and it was still a great show that I really enjoyed - there was still the awesome Green Day energy and feeling. But with everything that happened after Wembley and the really bad seats, I couldn't quite enjoy the show to the fullest. If only we'd gone for GA tickets instead of those crappy seated ones. Never mind, it was still worth it to see Green Day. There's always going to be one or two shows like that when you're travelling around.

Our train back home was in the evening and we had to check out of the hotel, so we just sat by the river for the rest of the day. They'd recommended a few things to go and see while we were here at the hotel, but we were a bit too broke.

It was another tiring - and delayed - train ride to Manchester, where our Nottingham train had already long gone and we had to wait in the cold for another three or four hours. I put the remains of my money into the vending machine, but nothing came out.

Finally we were home. We were exhausted, but in a few days we set out again for Paris. Another train down to London St. Pancras, and then the Eurostar took us under the English Channel and over to France. It was scorching hot here, too, and we wandered through the boiling streets until we found the underground station. Smelly spoke fluent French, so fortunately there weren't any language barriers. We got the metro out to the outskirts of Paris, near the Parc de Princes. That's where Green Day were playing the next day.

We had seated tickets again, so we were able to go and see the Eiffel Tower before the show. It was the first time in my life I'd really gone sightseeing and it was, well, pretty awesome.

We went back to the hotel to get our concert tickets, then made our way to the stadium. Billy Talent and Paramore were before Green Day, and it felt like forever. The heat was a lot worse than Manchester, I think it was nearly 40 degrees that day. People were passing out even in the seats.

But the seats were just as fun as the pit that day. Everyone was dancing and singing. Even though the seats were far away, there was every bit the energy and intensity of the front row. There was something special in the atmosphere that I just can't describe.

Although this show was brilliant and awesome and all of that, it's been so long since then that I can't think of anything to say that's different to all the other ones. Well, we thought that this would be the last time we saw them on the 21CB tour... and it was one hell of a great last show. I promise the Phoenix recap is so long and detailed that it makes up for the crappiness of this one.

Or so we thought.

We got home and life was bleak, difficult. Green Day finished the European tour and moved on to North America. When they first played those secret shows for 21CB, we laughed and said "imagine if one day we could see Green Day in America". We never thought for a second that it'd happen... it was just a distant dream. Mortgage arrears were beginning to build up and so were unpaid bills.

But everything was shit and withdrawal symptoms from the Green Day drug were more than just a joke. We started to get serious about selling all our stuff, gradually putting more and more on eBay. We were leaving on beans on toast, cheese sandwiches, Super Noodles, cheap pasta. Destination: California.

At first we planned LA - San Diego - San Francisco. San Diego had to go, there was no way we could afford three shows. We wanted pit tickets for LA, but the only place to buy them was a dodgy guy on eBay and they were stupidly expensive. Instead I looked up flights and tickets for Phoenix. It was a lot cheaper. So now our planned route was Arizona to San Francisco. Two shows, one which would be the last stop of the US tour.

Was this really happening?

Well, it was. Things weren't looking good with the money, though. We tried to take out a loan but it turned out to be dodgy and got us into shit. At that point we'd already put in a deposit on the flights, which we couldn't complete in time. Shit. We were going to lose hundreds of pounds, and the flights... but through borrowed money and more cheese sandwiches, the next thing I knew I was on a plane bound for America. Young and naive, I had no idea what a massive part this country was going to play in my future.

With a final destination of Phoenix, Arizona our plane touched down into Washington D.C. on August 29th.

My first steps into the United States were sunburnt ones. Even if the air conditioning in the airport had worked properly, I doubt it would have kept the heat out. Passport control was so chock solid with people that it wouldn’t have made any difference, anyway.

The queue was getting ridiculous. At this rate there was no way we’d catch our connecting flight to Phoenix. I have no idea how long we were in there, it was at least half an hour. They took our photos and fingerprints, stamped my passport. They didn’t stamp Smelly’s.

We thought we’d already missed our flight, but when we saw a clock we had about half an hour left to find the gate and board the plane. That was, until we went through some other security thing.

“You gotta go to immigration.”


“That room over there.”

We exchanged baffled glances and uncertainly wandered a few steps in the direction he was pointing. What was he talking about? Eventually we were directed to a room filled with various dodgy-looking people and some other Brit who had no idea why he was in there.

We asked the woman on the desk what was happening but she just took our passports and told us to sit down. We were the last in a massive pile of passports (or papers that weren’t accompanied by passports). What the hell was happening?!

We heard the other Brit ask about his connecting flight. The man on the desk replied “it’s not your connection you need to worry about. Your main concern is whether you are going to be admitted into the United States.”

Me and Smelly stared at each other in disbelief. I glanced up at the clock. There was about twenty minutes until our flight left and it didn’t look like we were going anywhere any time soon.

Eventually Smelly got up. “What about my flight to Phoenix? I’m going to miss it!”

“Please sit down, ma’am.”

“I’ve got a connecting flight!”

Then they just said that thing about our chief concern being admitted into the United States.

Were we ever going to get to Phoenix? Were we going to be arrested for some imaginary crime and deported? Had someone stuffed cocaine in my luggage? What the fuck was going on?

Five minutes to take-off. And one thing United were good at was always being on-time, even if their food was inedible and their planes were a thousand years old.

Finally they called us to the desk. They never told us why we were in there, they just let us go without a word. We'd long missed the flight so they told us to go to customer service. The corridor outside was completely empty apart from the baggage check-in bloke, a man in a hoodie with a gold tooth.

“Where you going?”

“I don’t know.” Smelly said, “Customer service, apparently.”

“Where you flying to?”

“Phoenix. But we’ve missed the flight.”

He grabbed our bags without warning and threw them onto the conveyor belt.

“But we’ve missed the flight!” I exclaimed, “What’s gonna happen to our bags?! We need a new flight first! Where are they going?!”

The man blinked bewilderedly. “Dey go on next flight to Phoenix. You get dem in Phoenix.”

Then he turned round and started talking to his check-in buddy.

Well, that was probably the last time we'd ever see our bags. The bags containing our Green Day tickets.

We had to go through security again, but finally we got out into the airport. We spoke to some official-looking guys who told us where customer service was. We were already about an hour late for the flight so we thought we might as well go and find the smoking lounge for Smelly. I was wondering what would become of our GD tickets when suddenly Smelly grabbed my arm and stopped me.

“Maria, it’s Cone!”

I glanced around in shock. Fuck – she was right. Cone from Sum 41 was walking along in Washington airport. I was going to see Green Day in Phoenix – was this seriously happening or was I hallucinating? Sum 41 are my second favourite band, there was a time when I ran the UK fansite and had the biggest record/CD collection in the world.


I couldn't believe it. He was such a cool bloke. We chatted for about fifteen minutes and the only paper I had was my 21CB booklet so he signed that. Apparently he'd been to see Green Day in Toronto and we talked about the Europe shows we'd been to, and how we were going to see them in Phoenix now. He said he’d remember my hair and recommended a wine bar further up the corridor, haha. I'd never have met him if it hadn't been for getting held up by security... apparently his flight was boarding and I always wonder if he missed it. Oops.

We were worried that we were going to have to pay for a new flight, but fortunately customer service got us one with a connection in Denver. We almost didn't get there, all the flights to Phoenix were booked up. The customer service woman said "I'm gonna give you these boarding passes and you're gonna run."

So we ran, and stopped running to buy a Washington t-shirt. Well, I wanted to remember meeting Cone. There was actually plenty of time before the flight anyway.

We were sat at separate ends of the plane, but we got to Denver in one piece. There was a guy yelling "YEEEURGH! PHOENIX!" for most of the next flight, but aside from him and some bloke who kept saying he was gonna vomit, that night we finally arrived in Phoenix after nearly two days of travelling, without anything else bad happening. We even got our bags back! They were sat there at Phoenix Sky Harbour Airport looking sad and neglected. Some airport guy ripped us off by getting us to pay $9 to drag the bags outside (we thought it was something else entirely) and the hotel had almost given up on our booking because we were so late, but it was all okay. I had a shower because you stink after two days of that, tried to make a vague note about meeting Cone and collapsed into bed. The hotel shuttle driver apparently thought I was a werewolf, by the way.

The day of the concert. We had our pit tickets, but I got sick halfway through the day. Instead of lining up I was stuck in bed. I'd travelled at least 5000 miles... just before Green Day were due onstage I forced myself out of bed and into a taxi. I felt like shit, but it soon faded into excitement and anticipation.

It was like one second I'd been sitting sad and empty in England, and now all of a sudden I was here; stood there in front of the stage in fucking Arizona. About to see Green Day. The pit was so small that we had a great spot even though we arrived after the support act. It felt like a dream, so unreal but shockingly real at the same time.

That feeling - the mix of anticipation and nervousness and excitement - when Song of the Century starts playing and everyone's singing the words; then it fades into 21st Century Breakdown and each note ties your stomach in an ever-tighter knot. The most amazing intro ever, tonight in the sweltering Arizona heat, hemmed in by palm trees and the stars above the amphitheatre.

Billie strutted onstage with his short blond hair and stripy jeans, followed by Tre in shorts and Mike just like I saw him in Manchester. They were so close; we were right in front of Jason.

In East Jesus Nowhere, Billie pulled a young kid onstage and got him to play a tiny part of Welcome to Paradise on his guitar (secretly with his own hand, of course). Then in Holiday, he ran over to our side... he was directly in front of me, close enough to touch. There was a guy with a vintage Green Day t-shirt next to me and Billie was smiling at it. Then suddenly he saw me and gasped, pointing at me and grinning. I couldn't believe it, he still remembered me! I probably waved my arms around and screamed like an asshole.

They played Murder City after that which was awesome. I cannot describe my emotions when Tre then started playing the beginning of Letterbomb. This is my second favourite Green Day song of all time. I was there and they were fucking playing it, the whole way through, for the first time on the tour (I think - I might be wrong). It's one of Smelly's least favourites so I gave her the phone and asked her to record it. Amongst the flashing lights and close-ups of Billie playing his guitar, there's a part where she sneakily recorded me and it's so embarrassing. I probably killed/deafened all the people around me, I was dancing so hard and screaming the words so loud. I think they wondered why I was so excited. I don't care.

In BOBD, Billie got down on the floor and did a headstand, although not for long because he fell back over again. He didn't care, he just got up and did a dance.

"I'll do fucking anything for Arizona, I tell you that!"

It didn't stop there. "We're gonna play a brand new song!" Billie roared. "This song's called Cigarettes and Valentines."

We had no Internet when we were abroad so I didn't know they'd already played it in Denver. I wanted to record it but I wanted to enjoy it more... so I have a completely blurry video where all you can see is the ceiling, with really bad sound. Still a memory.

It still didn't end there. They played Burnout... and then One for the Razorbacks. I was going so crazy I nearly knocked myself out. It was so fucking boiling hot, everyone was drenched in sweat, but nobody cared.

2000 Light Years Away. I'd seen it before but it never gets old. They played all the classics and the show faded into the heavy emotion of 21 Guns. I expected Minority next. It wasn't. It was American Eulogy. Just like Manchester, it was the climax of all the excitement and awesomeness rolled up into one finale; mass hysteria. That's exactly what it is.

American Idiot, Jesus of Suburbia; then the second encore was as beautiful as ever. I was finally standing still for the first time, so I recorded the last three songs. I wasn't really watching the camera, my videos are always crap because I'd rather watch the show through my own eyes. Suddenly though Billie was staring straight into my camera, I nearly dropped it. I doubt he was looking at me on purpose but it was still awesome.

We grabbed a drink, bought a couple of t-shirts and tried to order a taxi. It didn't seem to be showing up so we very nearly got in some dodgy bloke's car, but before we could the taxi finally arrived. Phew. Dodgy Bloke looked thoroughly annoyed.

I hope that made up for the lack of anything interesting whatsoever in the Paris part.

Well, I think I'll leave it there. I never really wrote any proper recap of that show and that was kind of like living it all over again, I'm surprised I remember it so well.

The next part will be San Francisco, Costa Rica and then maybe I'll carry on to American Idiot. For now, it's way too late and I'm going to bed.

Please comment if you enjoyed it! That way I know people are reading and that they're interested the next part. Or even if you didn't enjoy, I still take this seriously as my writing - please let me know what you think. Thank you for reading! :D


When I first joined GDC in 2010 I think I posted some crappy (probably embarrassing) recaps of a few of the shows that I went to, mostly where I complained about security or the person who kept punching me. Sounds tedious. I write novels about forbidden love and war, depressing poems and lyrics about various tragedies and, well, a lot that aren't so dramatic. But actually, this is something I've always wanted to write about; it more than deserves to be written about. It's not just a few awesome concerts and a bit of sightseeing. It's a life-changing story that has, unsurprisingly, amazing and exciting moments; touching moments, hilarious moments that still make me laugh; and awful moments, too.

But that's enough rambling from me. Now (if you're still bothering to read), this is the story of the 35,000+ mile journey that made me who I am today. That had consequences, too...

When 21st Century Breakdown came out, I was so ill that I'd been stuck in my house for almost three years, missing school. I'd had a shit childhood, I'd been a bad person; but now I was just nothing, a wreck whose days were numbered. When I was completely alone in the house like a cage, it was only Billie's lyrics that gave me something to cling onto; but I'd been cast off as a hopeless case, nobody could help me. My mum who I shall refer to as Smelly (although she doesn't actually smell) was as much of a Green Day fan as I was, and when Green Day announced UK tour dates, Nottingham wasn't one of them. Just leaving the house was bad enough... but if I wanted to do this, I had to conquer all of my fears, I had to break free of my demons and get on the train to Birmingham.

I did it, too. The girl who could hardly leave the house for all those years got on the train, out into a harsh and unknown world that scared the shit out of me.

That night still remains the best Green Day show I ever saw. For three hours I was free, I was happy for the first time; and I'm never gonna forget that. Actually seeing those three talented men who were changing my life, seeing them there in reality, was unreal. How to I begin to describe the actual feeling of seeing Green Day live, the atmosphere that screams how every single person in the room is included, everyone here is equal and together for just this one night? That feeling when 16,000 people are all screaming the words back at Billie, all religiously repeating his hey-ohhhs? People are crying and ripping their shirts off and just losing control... people like the person I was are free of all their demons, they're free of the past that haunts them, they have a home and they matter for the first time. Even my beloved words can't really describe it. You only truly get the height of that feeling with Green Day.

It wasn't just that... they played Murder City and At the Library! I remember screaming all the words, the only person who knew what the hell was going on.

Hey there lookin' at me, tell me what do you see? As you quickly turn your head away. [...] Staring across the room, are you leaving soon? I just need a little time...

And how damn appropriate. That night was the first time I set eyes on the man who'd later be my fiance... my heaven and hell and everything in between.

Before the show I bought a poster. Which was stupid, who buys a damn poster before the show? One of us had to hold it the entire time - Smelly volunteered - and it got ruined, all battered at the edges. But when Billie was asking for a drummer to get onstage in Knowledge, it was like I was possessed. I snatched the poster and waved it around, screaming at the top of my lungs. Billie stopped and stared straight at me, he lifted his arm to point. Then I suddenly snapped back to reality. Sure, I play the drums, but I just lost all my confidence. Even though the song's easy I thought I wouldn't be able to play it. I put the poster down, shook my head. Looking thoroughly confused, Billie walked off to find a bassist instead.

What a fucking asshole I was. Billie might have changed his mind by the time he realised how difficult it would have been to reach me, but still, I threw away a chance to play Tre Cool's fucking drum kit. I can play Knowledge without even thinking about it. Maybe it was for the best - God knows what would have become of me when I got there - but still.

21 Guns was never my favourite Green Day song, it still isn't. But live... it's quite possibly one of the most amazing and emotional moments of the show. The way the crowd all sing along, and yes, the snazzy sell-out things like the stuff raining down on them after the bridge; even just the whoa-ohh Billie adds then; the part that is replaced with piano. I wasn't expecting any of it and it all added up to one beautiful moment that I've never forgotten.

Oh God, when the whole band came back for Last Night on Earth. I wasn't expecting that either. It was so awesome, and that was a beautiful moment too.

And one last thing that I'll never forget:

"We're still alive, Birmingham! It's been a long fucking time, goddamn I'm so fucking happy to be back in England, you have no idea. Goddammit I'm fucking moving here, fuck this shit, I'm fucking moving. Packing my bags, I'm gonna get on a big old fucking aeroplane, I'm gonna take all my shit across the pond, and I am officially fucking English as of now! I'm bringing it back home!" - Billie Joe Armstrong, October 27th 2009.

That night was unreal, but nothing could change the fact that I was still ill. When we got back to the hotel I cried and said I wasn't ready for all of this, I wanted to go home. The next show only seemed to prove that to me. A few songs into the set I had to stagger out of the room to the toilets. First Aid didn't get it. For what felt like forever I just stood there sobbing, hearing the vague buzz of songs like The Static Age and When I Come Around. All I wanted was to see my band, what did I do to deserve this? Smelly took me back to the hotel and I begged her to go back to the arena, enjoy the rest of the show. At first she wouldn't, but you can't argue with me when I'm being stubborn. I managed to convince her by asking her to please go back and record 21 Guns for me. She got back just in time to see Billie having an intense humping session with the floor. Ah, Green Day.

I'm still sad that I missed American Eulogy, Macy's Day Parade, Christie Road acoustic. I'm sad that I missed nearly the whole damn thing. I could have been scared off by that, returned back to my dark corner. We had tickets to the next two shows in Manchester. I was terrified, I nearly didn't go. But I did, again.

It was another amazing show, obviously, but there's not that much more to say about it after how much I went on about Birmingham; I'd just be saying the same things. Billie split his pants at the beginning of BOBD and asked if anyone saw his balls. Yeah. And for me, it proved to me that the second night in Birmingham was just a one-off - I was getting better. Fortunately I wasn't traumatized by the sight of Mr. Armstrong's scrotum.

The second Manchester show. This was... well, you'll see. Because we had seated tickets, we decided that this time we weren't going to bother with the support act (Prima Donna), they were perfectly enjoyable but we didn't need to see them a fourth time. We just went wandering down to the arena while they were playing, spending ages hanging around in the merch stall. It was a bit hot and stuffy in there so I went outside... then I realised that I recognized the song that Prima Donna were playing. Foxboro Hot Tubs...? What?!

I went charging back into the merch stall, forgetting all my fears and barging past people. I kept shouting to Smelly but she couldn't hear me.

"Smelly! Smelly!!"

Eventually she turned round, looking worried. "What? Are you okay?"

"Prima Donna are playing Stop Drop and Roll!"

She looked bewildered, trying to listen. Then her eyes widened.

"That's not Kevin, it's Billie!!!"

Abandoning the merch stall, we went sprinting off to our seats, charging down the steps and knocking over somebody's beer. I couldn't believe my eyes. Stood there on Prima Donna's stage was the Reverend Strychnine Twitch. The Foxboro Hot Tubs. Of course, it was Halloween!

I very nearly died a violent death when the steps changed unexpectedly and I stumbled over. Still, we made it. We were the only ones stood up in our seats and dancing. Everyone was staring at us like we were crazy. Nobody knew who they were!

It's bloody ironic that the one time we didn't bother with the support act, the fucking Tubbies followed straight afterwards. But we caught Mother Mary and Sally. I still can't believe I saw the Foxboro Hot Tubs, it was like I was dreaming.

Then the Green Day show afterwards was an unforgettable night too. They really did put on one hell of a show. I have no idea how to describe how 21 Guns turned into American Eulogy when you were expecting Minority. It was beyond amazing, that song will always be a highlight; it's like the climax of all the awesomeness. I'm running out of words so I'm tempted to keyboard smash, but I'm trying to actually use my proper writing skills.

At the station on the way home, for some reason Smelly was obsessed with getting on the London train; she seemed to think that was the one back to Nottingham, even though it wasn't. We didn't have tickets to the Wembley show and we were too late anyway. Our remaining funds came to a grand total of two pence (think two cents if you're American), we couldn't do anything about it. She very sadly turned away and we went to find our actual train.

It turned out that they played a Tubbies show at a London club that night. If we'd been able to get on the train Smelly wanted, we'd have made it. Psychic powers, you know. Well, at least we saw a bit of them in Manchester.

There was no crying and wanting to go home those last two nights. The girl who stepped out of all of that was a different person, a positive and strong young woman who’d found a home in all her scars and ammunition. Green Day gave me back strength and inspiration and life, a life I actually wanted to live. I went back to school. I started writing my first book. I changed my name and left the past behind.

And we were hooked on the Green Day drug.

I'm not rich. I never have been. I'm a working-class nobody from a Nottingham slum. When the 2010 European tour dates were announced, Smelly still had a job; but it still took the beginnings of selling all our possessions, abandoning the bills. We booked five shows. Hannover, Manchester, Wembley, Glasgow, Paris. The small family we had turned their backs on us, apart from my grandpa, but that was their problem. What if we never had this opportunity again? I knew how dark life could be, we both did. Those four shows were the first time in years we'd been truly happy; and the experience made us both better people, it made us stronger. No, we couldn't throw this chance away.

So that year, the girl who once couldn't leave the house went to the busiest airport in the world and flew to Germany. First, though, the bus journey... it started when the taxi to the bus station crashed into our neighbours' fence. I have no idea what he was doing but he spent a considerable amount of time hitting the fence before he'd drive off. Then the bus stank of fish and we kept waking up the guy in front of us. I was looking at the exercise card they gave you and I whacked him in the head with it (accidentally, of course). Poor bloke.

Anyway... May 29, Hannover, Germany. Neither of us spoke a word of German, except obvious things like danke and guten tag. Unless you wanted to pay ridiculous taxi fares, the only way to get to the TUI Arena was by train. You could tell the ticket machine to speak English but it wasn't any more understandable. The tourists all thought it was broken but the German people weren't having any trouble. We tried speaking to the information guy who looked like Ian Beale, but he was thoroughly unhelpful and kept shouting "DAAA! DAAA!"

Don't get the wrong idea about the Germans, though. Most of them were lovely, apart from Ian Beale and his ticket machine.

So in the end we had to use one third of our entire spending fund on a taxi. Still, we got there. We'd just be eating things like crisps for a few days. Expedia had really hyped up this place where the arena was... but there was nothing there, apart from our hotel, a little convenience store and a load of empty buildings. A few people mentioned Hannover Zoo or Fairground, but they seemed to be on the other side of Germany (or they might as well have been). When Smelly tried to buy some tobacco at the convenience store, she was talking in Spanish until I pointed out that it was the wrong language. What an awful pair of English tourists we were.

The next morning Green Day's stage trucks had all arrived; our hotel looked over the car park. It suddenly all seemed so real... we were really seeing Green Day again that night. It was beginning.

We met so many other Green Day fans of so many different nationalities that day. There was another English girl, a German girl and her mum, an Italian girl and a Welsh guy. It was the first time I really saw how Green Day brings people together and creates great friendships; even relationships and marriages.

And now the show.

The support act, The Donots, were actually pretty good. They definitely got the crowd going; but then it was a pretty awesome crowd and atmosphere anyway. When Green Day finally wandered onstage, the screaming was deafening. Fuck, I couldn't believe it was happening. I was really here in Germany, seeing Green Day again. And for the people who care about Green Day's looks, Billie was wearing his red jeans. :P They all seemed so happy and excited to be back on tour.

This was the first time I saw them play Nice Guys Finish Last, before they really started playing it a lot. I couldn't believe what I was hearing, that song was so perfect for that moment; they had so much energy and there was so much intensity between the crowd and the band.

And it was the first time I saw the truly beautiful live version of 21 Guns, too. It had been beautiful before... but now with the piano part where Billie repeated the chorus, wow. I know Green Day are made to rock sweaty little clubs, not to play massive arenas with snazzy pyrotechnics and background graphics... but for those particular shows, those things really did add to the atmosphere. Each background graphic fit perfectly with the song they were playing, with references to the 21CB album art. And that part in 21 Guns that I'm on about had one of the scenes from the 21 Guns video. You probably all hate me for loving that, but fuck off, it was beautiful.

Dream, Deutschland dream, I can't even sleep, the light's early dawn.

I have the setlist of that show on my computer for some reason, so here it is:

Song of the Century

21st Century Breakdown

Know Your Enemy

East Jesus Nowhere


The Static Age

Give Me Novacaine

Are We The Waiting

St. Jimmy

Boulevard of Broken Dreams

Nice Guys Finish Last


Hitchin’ a Ride

When I Come Around

Metal Jam

Brain Stew



Basket Case


King for a Day/Shout

21 Guns



American Idiot

Jesus of Suburbia

Last Night on Earth

Wake Me Up When September Ends

Good Riddance

This is actually way longer than I expected it to be, so for now I'm gonna leave it here and say that I'll post part two another time. I'll leave you all with this lovely account I wrote of our bus journey back to Nottingham:

"The moment finally came for us to get back on the one and only National Express. We tried to get to the back but Fred Flintstone got there first, so we sat on the seats in front of him. One of the purposes of sitting at the back was to avoid the bog, but hello, hello, we were right next to it. We were so badly behaved that at one point Fred grunted “oh, shut up!”. There were people going in and out of the bog and the smell was divine. “A delightful sea breeze” – Smelly. At one point I was convinced somebody had shat themselves, but I think it was just the sea breeze. Yeah, it stank a bit, but we still had a fucking amazing time."