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Invalid

I sit on my knees and I grasp at the flesh of my palms. My nails sink into the soft mold of skin and meat, no pain. I am swelling, filling up with warm, pounding blood, plump as the ripest plum, ready to burst and paint the intricate fur of the rug underneath with the juice in my veins. At the same time, my pudgy body is sinking, melting into a puddle of human goo, indistinguishable. My nails are growing at an alarming rate, weaving through my palms and into my arms and beyond, building their own root system throughout me. I wonder if they will eventually come back out and repeat until I am so wrapped up in myself that I just lose. The fur underneath tickles my legs and rubs against the coarse hair that grows there. Could I be made into a rug? All my hair, taken along when I am skinned, and carefully cleaned and processed and softened and colored and preened. Someone else sits on the rug that is me. I am soft. Oh so soft on the outside; I cannot be touched without being ruined, but on the inside grows diamonds. My diamond heart reaching up for my diamond brain but never reaching. Magma flowing through my hollow veins and coating it all. Growing thinner in skin and thicker inside. What am I? Dead? Alive? A human? A rug? The sitter? The seat? Plum? Diamond? I am me, and me means nothing because it is all the words you attach to it. I have too many words attached to me, I don’t know which ones are real anymore. Who am I? Everything I ever wanted? All I never wanted? I am null, because I am both. Invalid.   Stay Dirty -Pari

Lady Darkling

Lady Darkling

 

AJC story

Today the Atlanta Journal-Constitution newspaper published a story on me in their “Weight Loss Success Stories” section. An unscaled photo of my neck/chest area highlights the top of the story, so that obviously makes me proud. LOL. I was hoping they would include my quote about how big a role music has played in my weight loss journey, followed by my undignified plea for (free) Music Midtown concert festival tickets. I obviously can’t afford to buy them! All of my disposable income is tied up in Halo Top ice cream and Sandwich Brothers egg white turkey sausage breakfast thingies! Here’s a link to the article. Try to not get yourself too worked up over my clavicle. http://www.ajc.com/lifestyles/paula-bechtler-hiram-lost-pounds/b9mi5U1mZ1sdUc5NgmuWoI/

WhatsHerNameGeorgia

WhatsHerNameGeorgia

 

Popular Topics: June 2017

10 Most popular topics for June 2017
1) The Green Day Fangirls' Confessions Thread - 962 posts
2) Revolution Radio music video launches today - 347 posts
3) 2017/07/01 - BST Festival, Hyde Park, London, UK - 325 posts
4) Green Day Instagram Photos - 325 posts
5) Songs about Amanda - 229 posts
6) New shows setlist discussion - 183 posts
7) 2017/06/04 - Pinkpop Festival, Landgraaf, Netherlands - 183 posts
8) 2017/06/21 - Scandinavium, Göteborg, Sweden - 162 posts
9) Random Green Day Thoughts - 132 posts
10) 2017/06/28 - Ormeau Park, Belfast, Northern Ireland - 119 posts

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Stats
Members active: 210
New Members: 88 
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Most registrations in a single day: 7 (June 29th)
Single busiest day: June 12th
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Most viewed blog entry: Update on my dad (702 views)
Total Rep Given: 10,159

Lone

Lone

 

Lyrics - Sirens

New lyrics. Enjoy.   Sirens   I entertain the thought of you won't you listen to me?   I never knew just who I was until I wished I could see   I tie you up and you lie me down in this cosmic debris   I want to hear your call won't you sing to me?   Chorus: Oh, I know just what I need you're a siren, make me bleed I'll share my treasure and the peak of the night and sinner's entropy   If the Devil's real, he'll be answering to me   The shadow of the snow melts under my feet   The call of the wild is made unknowingly   I wanna hear your call won't you sing to me?   (Chorus)   Now, I have figured out my path A statue of the aftermath Locked in the public, I have the key This is only between you and me Reject the holy prison restore red velvet supervision   I wanna hear your call won't you set me free?   (Chorus)

GenesisJames

GenesisJames

 

Update on my dad

Hey, everyone. Just wanted to provide those of you who were reaching out to me and my family an update on my dad's health. We learned today that he does in fact have cancer again even after being labeled "cured". Where the cancer is in we don't know yet until a PET scan is done sometime here soon (date TBA). The hope is that this cancer is just at his one lymph node and they can remove it surgically. The surgery will be done at the Cleveland Clinic where both my sister and brother-in-law work, so we're feeling confident about the surgery being done there. Family mood is decent. We're staying hopeful and positive. What we're banking on is that the cancer hasn't spread anywhere else, the surgery will be a success and then he can start recovering. Thanks everyone for your thoughts, prayers, concerns, etc. It means and a lot and has helped me personally feel better. My dad says he wants a joint right now Told him he needs to come see Green Day again in August and we can take care of that -Rage and Love-

JardyOfSuburbia

JardyOfSuburbia

 

Kickstarter project: The Tomb Raider Suite soundtrack

Hello! Perhaps this is a dorky request, but I figure since we're all music enthusiasts here, why not? The composer of the first three Tomb Raider games is hosting a Kickstarter project to revamp the soundtrack with a full orchestra, to be recorded at Abbey Road studios in London. I wrote up a summary regarding the project over on the Tomb Raider Deviantart page I admin if anyone's interested in more details: http://tombraiders.deviantart.com/journal/The-Tomb-Raider-Suite-News-686956563 Here's the direct Kickstarter link: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1636910846/the-tomb-raider-suite/description   We're almost there! If anyone would like to back the project, there's some epic goodies up for grabs when you participate including signed posters, shirts and more!   

21guns&novacaine

21guns&novacaine

 

Lyrics - Earthly Contraptions

New lyrics. Enjoy.   Earthly Contraptions   Once more feathers fall as you wake again, another bore Time and time again moving nowhere and attempting to change score   Will someone hold you now? Will you make it somehow?   Chorus: We are holy We are unholy We are unholy in our flaws   And I'm nervous And I'm anxious And I'm anxious for the end   But how bad can it be? How clearly can you see? --------------------------------------- This time, more than before Settle the tides Control your life See how your ego hides   Will your life end in a lie? Will you die to live or live to die?   (Chorus)   I an holy I am anxious I am content in my flaws   I understand It's too tempting to hide behind a screen when we all live in a run-down submarine   Regurgitating the past, with songs and ideas that rule I appreciate you but I won't be taken for a fool   With our open world Earthly contraptions break us down But we need them and feed them and rectify the stolen crown   Will you meet me there? Will you treat me fair?   (Chorus)   I am gracious I am ruleless   I am faintness We are greatness   We are absorbent to all harm
We are greatness We are stateless   We are earthly contraptions in full form   (Chorus)

GenesisJames

GenesisJames

 

So, today fucking sucked

Fuck today. Five years ago, my dad was diagnosed with Stage 4 throat cancer after never smoking a single cigarette in his life. The cancer was treatable and he came out on top of it after a few months of chemo and radiation. Ever since then he's regularly been checked for cancer and everything's been clean for years. They labeled him cured. Well, after having a sore neck for about a month or so, my dad went to have a biopsy done today and the initial diagnosis is cancer. Fuck. Why? What the fuck? Where did this come from? I guess we find out more Friday, but today's been really tough. Oh, today's my mom and dad's 37th wedding anniversary, so fuck you universe, God, whatever. Please keep my dad in your thoughts and prayers. Let's hope the news Friday gives us a clearer game plan as we go forward beating the shit out of cancer again.

JardyOfSuburbia

JardyOfSuburbia

 

Lyrics - Liquid Mirror

The title track for my little fictional album. Enjoy.   Liquid Mirror   One day you're humming to the sound from an evil violin then the next you're suppressing all the demons from within   Candy from Berretta's with barrels locked and loaded intimate with the bodies, all full and young and bloated   Chorus: Remedy my magnificent innocent lies Pour the angel from its womb and into its demise   Looking inward toward my symphonic cries Collision in the open wound ruminating as it dies ----------------------------------------- Throwing stones in the beaker that forms a single file line Exterior voices morph my presence and convince me that I'm fine   It's a drugstore nation and an alien teardrop When the rope calls your name everybody does the flop   (Chorus)   Mental monster nesting in the corner an ill-advised disguise Waiting for the clock to strike and the savior not to rise   Drying in the sun as it comes and rapes the fertile land Crying for the silent releases from my own hand   Dreams of alcohol in a car crash high-end brands to decay Green men running to diamond summoning Caskets brought to lay   (Chorus)   Into its demise, ruminating as it dies   (Chorus)

GenesisJames

GenesisJames

 

Popular Topics: May 2017

10 Most popular topics for May 2017
1) The Green Day Fangirls' Confessions Thread - 596 posts
2) Green Day on GMA May 19th - 272 posts
3) Green Day Instagram Photos - 260 posts
4) Revolution radio thoughts - 210 posts
5) New shows setlist discussion - 196 posts
6) Blasphemy & Genocide: Unpopular Green Day Opinions, Part 2 - 176 posts
7) Random Green Day Thoughts - 164 posts
8) Green Day Australia & New Zealand Tour - April & May 2017 - 144 posts
9) Random Thoughts - 137 posts
10) Green Day Alphabet Game - 131 posts

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desertrose (388 posts)
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Hermione (184 posts)
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Stats
Members active: 183
New Members: 85 
Total Visitors: 18,509
Most registrations in a single day: 6 (May 21st)
Single busiest day: May 1st
New Topics: 100
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Most viewed blog entry: "No More Hope" (lyrics) (589 views)
Total Rep Given: 7,817

Lone

Lone

 

Songs I Doubt I'll Fiinish

So I don't post songs on here much, obviously. I write a lot more than what I actually post on here. Right now since the last one i posted I've had about 5 songs written at least somewhat. I also had songs done long before that. I'm planning on releasing maybe 3 of these songs, but definitely 2 of them. The others I either don't like, can't finish the lyrics, or can't finish the music. I'll put the lyrics to the songs I probably won't record here and give the background for each  The first one I got an idea for back in May where I came up with a guitar intro. I came up with a chorus but never had any ideas for it until June when my two best friends ditched me and I ended up miserable because of it (Tired is basically the angrier version of this one). The lyrics can be found here: https://pastebin.com/cHh5B1Bu The second song I wrote back in November. Back in October my friend informed me that they liked me. Our main friend group and some others were shipping us, but I didn't really know if I wanna do it. It gets to November and a ridiculously awkward conversation about this happened and I still didn't know if I wanted to go through with it. I guess with how this song is going it was more of a no. Well I didn't end up releasing this one because 1, I honestly don't like it that much anymore (as you can see I was struggling at that second verse). The 2nd reason? Well three days after I started this song, I ended up saying yes. So it ended up losing its relevance anyway. Lyrics for this one are here: https://pastebin.com/ahEhmJRV Finally, this song was written in March when school was out for 4 days due to a blizzard. Before I explain what actually happened, one thing to know about me is I am not always good at dealing with serious situations. Especially if I don't understand what it's like. The best example of a situation like this would be a sick/dying relative. This situation is actually the one that comes into play for this song. Over these 4 days the person from the previous song brought up this situation. I didn't handle it remotely well, I basically ended up going into hiding after receiving the texts. The second night it came up again in a group chat and yes, I hid again. I ended up with a series of texts at like 3 AM saying I don't give a shit about their problems blah blah (For the record I do care I am just bad at showing it). I still hate myself for all of this, and this song was written saying how I'm still not that great of a person even though I've gotten better. I was planning on releasing this and actually started recording it, but I got busy and now that this song has sat around for 2 months I'm starting to notice the lyrics aren't as good as they were when I first wrote the song (I was probably just excited I was finally getting an idea for a full song). The lyrics for this one can be found here: https://pastebin.com/ci4aqGL8 That's everything for now. I want to record my three songs soon, but I might have to wait until the summer when I have more time to do it.  
 

Lyrics - Dahlia Venom

New lyrics. Enjoy.   Dahlia Venom   It's in the emptiness of the words I'm told It lies in the wretchedness that comes in the cold The hate that dissolves The mercury that evolves Oh Dahlia   Chorus: Your venom, it remains like the fire in my veins I trusted you before but now you're gutted and abhorred   Oh, the things that I adored and the thorns that I absorbed Sometimes you must cut through the stem to be free once again ----------------------------------- That time we danced under the sun of the knives you've planted there's no more chances to run your reprieve is never granted The misery you've drawn and happiness long gone Oh Dahlia   (Chorus)   When we drift between reality and the garden of death The seeds in my mind you use to control my breath   When will you whither away? When will you just die? When will your parasitic ways end? The fruit is your lie   (Chorus)   Oh my Dahlia Does it feel familiar? It's universal Oh my Dahlia

GenesisJames

GenesisJames

 

Popular Topics: April 2017

10 Most popular topics for April 2017
1) The Green Day Fangirls' Confessions Thread - 845 posts
2) Green Day Instagram Photos - 287 posts
3) Random Green Day Thoughts - 186 posts
4) Green Day: The Early Years. (Spotify). - 152 posts
5) What if Green Day had quit? - 152 posts
6) 2017/04/07 - MGM Grand Garden Arena, Las Vegas, NV, USA - 133 posts
7) Donald Trump wins election - 129 posts
8) Random Thoughts - 102 posts
9) 2017/04/30 - Perth Arena, Perth, Australia - 88 posts
10) Profile pictures - 82 posts

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Tinkle (296 posts)
Jane Lannister (253 posts)
Caroline Truong (241 posts)
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This post by Lindsay in The Picture Thread
This post by Schlappy in Mike Dirnt selling two homes for $3.8 million and $4.8 million respectively.
This post by Spike in Relationships
This post by Andres in New book available on Amazon- Green Day Rising: Before the Dookie Flew
This post by Spike in The Picture Thread

Stats
Members active: 515
New Members: 96 
Total Visitors: 19,649
Most registrations in a single day: 8 (April 30th)
Single busiest day: April 4th
New Topics: 98
Total Posts: 6,388
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Most viewed blog entry: Billie Joe Conspiracy Theories (221 views)
Total Rep Given: 8,414

Lone

Lone

 

Disquietude Before the Storm

Disquietude Before the Storm Regret of the spilled words washes over in waves; choking; suffocating. The thoughts I can never retract from my pen and the unease dipping into my soul. Waiting for the other shoe to drop, for the halcyon to crash and descend into nothingness.   Stay Dirty -Pari

Lady Darkling

Lady Darkling

 

Lyrics - The Magic Of The Automaton

New lyrics. Enjoy.   The Magic Of The Automaton   Here I come Rotary Once was lost Set me free Mechanized Surgery Kingdom sun Infirmary   Every time I tell myself Put one up on the shelf   Corrosion in discrepancy Overclocked Machinery   Chorus: With every light that guides my hand Grind me down into sand Charging seas and brittle air I beg to you but you don't care   Even back... way back then I could feel uneven   It can't be stopped with simple force The damage is done taken its course   Corrosion in discrepancy Overclocked Machinery   (Chorus)   And isolation in the confusion The power of constitution You can run but you can't hide You can't kill what's deep inside   It's a murder if I say it so It's a murmur now watch it grow How will you win? The demon is vapor Will it take you? Your will is paper   Corrosion in discrepancy Overclocked Machinery   (Chorus)   See it through hold it down Evil nature Abnormal behavior Consolation Adoration Your frustration No correlation   Corrosion in discrepancy Overclocked Machinery   (Chorus)

GenesisJames

GenesisJames

 

I watched 13 Reasons Why

This is my first blog entry here, so if you've found yourself reading this then hey! I hope you enjoy the chaos of thought this will no doubt evolve into over time Oh yeah, there will be spoilers for the show if you're reading this btw, if you haven't already finished it. So last week I started seeing a lot of controversy on my facebook about 13 Reasons Why. I was seeing people praise it for its brutality, but I was seeing far more people complaining that it was too much/too triggering/disrespectful to mental illness and rape victims. So I had to watch it for a number of reasons. For a start I couldn't imagine it possibly being as brutal as people were making out. Secondly, it was touching on issues like bullying, suicide and rape. I know a lot about bullying, but not much about the other two, so I figured it was kind of important to watch. The first few episodes didn't really grab me much to be honest. I'm only saying this because I can't fully articulate my thoughts, but they felt kind of High School Musical to me. I obviously knew it was going to go to dark places, and the episodes did have dark undertones, but what I saw from those episodes seemed like a huge cliche, the whole idea of jocks and nerds etc. I don't like the setting of an American High School for some reason, and I thought some of the characters seemed like generic archetypes that would never exist. But I guess that was the genius of the show, you never know what goes on in someone else's life.  As it went on it got harder to watch. I saw the life slowly drain from Hannah over the course of the flashbacks, and I saw Clay unravel in the present through his guilt and anxiety, all while everyone else on the tapes seemed more concerned with their own reputations than the fact they collectively drove a girl to suicide. The basketball scene where Clay hallucinates Hannah's corpse in the middle of the hall stands out to me. I ended up growing to really like Hannah as a character, even though the idea of the tapes was cold and fucked up. The last few episodes really broke me though. Watching the scene of Bryce raping Jessica was uncomfortable, and I was finally understanding that the show was as brutal as everyone had said, and was only going to get worse. Jeff's death was sad too, he was a sweet guy and didn't deserve his fate, and I felt for Clay in the flashbacks having lost who seemed to be his closest friend. Everybody deserves a Jeff. Then Clay's tape really upset me. The fact that Hannah included him in the tapes, but revealed that she didn't blame him for anything, instead telling him that he was just such a good guy that she didn't deserve because she would've fucked him up. Including him in the tapes to me means that she wanted to explain to Clay why she killed herself, maybe in the hopes of her not wanting him to blame himself. She didn't even do that for her family, and it was really poignant I guess. And Clay's reaction was heart wrenching. Following that, Tony's support for him was touching. We all deserve a Tony too. And the rape in the next episode was painful to watch. The life drains from Hannah's face as it happens. Katherine Langford did a great job as Hannah. The finale broke me. There had been two rapes and a number of heart ripping emotional scenes, how could it get worse? It showed Hannah actually killing herself. It pulls no punches, we see her slit her wrists and bleed to death in the bath. And if that wasn't bad enough, we see her parents find her body. Nothing happens off screen. I won't lie, that was the moment I finally cried like I'd wanted to since episode 11. And then I cried some more an hour later when I'd gone to bed. Some people can maybe write the suicide scene off as fiction, but it's not. It's reality for so many people every day. When life overwhelms them, they die alone in a bathtub and in agony after cutting their wrists only to be found by a family member or friend who had no idea anything was wrong. It was so raw it really got to me thinking about the people who die like that. And I don't even know anyone who has, I can't imagine what it must be like for people who have known someone who killed themselves. It was sad letting the character of Hannah go too, like I said earlier I'd grown to like her as a character a lot. I should also say I've never been so emotionally invested in a TV show before because I finished it last night but I still feel really fucking sad and gloomy. So please recommend a more cheerful show on netflix to get my mind off this if you can. I think I'm glad I watched it though, it fucked me up but I can't praise 13 Reasons Why enough.    

Psycho Shop

Psycho Shop

 

Popular Topics: March 2017

10 Most popular topics for March 2017
1) The Green Day Fangirls' Confessions Thread - 930 posts
2) Green Day Instagram Photos - 653 posts
3) New shows setlist discussion - 330 posts
4) Random Thoughts - 240 posts
5) Random Green Day Thoughts - 203 posts
6) 2017/03/15 - Barclays Center, Brooklyn, NY, USA - 202 posts
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8) 2017/03/25 - Petersen Events Center, Pittsburgh, PA, USA - 193 posts
9) Green Day on The Late Show with Stephen Colbert - 21/03/17. - 182 posts
10) 2017/03/10 - Infinite Energy Center, Duluth, GA, USA - 175 posts

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Stats
Members active: 933
New Members: 168 
Total Visitors: 24,285
Most registrations in a single day: 16 (March 5th)
Single busiest day: March 28th
New Topics: 97
Total Posts: 9,051
Total PMs sent: 238 new / 612 replies
Blog posts made: 11
Most viewed blog entry: Another Sleepless Night (151 views)
Total Rep Given: 13,140 Lone here with your late stats post for the month of March. The end of March/beginning of April marks the end of the first leg of the North American tour but they will be back at the end of summer! For you new folks who went to a show, go on over and say hi in the show threads. We had an increase of total visitors (+31%), total posts (+2%), and total reputation given (+1%). We'd like to welcome @Paola17 to the top five active members of the month, joined by four others who made an appearance the last month. That's it for now. Toodle-loo!

Lone

Lone

 

Working.

Nearly every day starts the same for me. I wake up late, grab a coffee while getting ready for work, then I spend a few minutes reviewing stats and metrics from across a dozen different websites. On days off  like today, the only change is that I haven't showered yet. After getting my coffee and powdered donut (my biggest weakness) I went about trying to find something entertaining to watch while I tweet from my cell phone about other bands I've heard about. Then I finally decided to get of my ass and then immediately plop in front of the desk and start really promoting things. Running an ad on Facebook/Instagram, that takes a lot of work. Then I have to go see what is trending on twitter, might be able to use those. Of course I have 2 of 6 songs left to record for the album, so a quick review of those and  any fresh ideas that might come from em are a must! Right now I'm working on the new intro for Opposition, I think it will be massive! It is of course a 7+ minute long song, the second one on this EP. Just can't help myself.
After losing a straight hour between submissions, media contacts, streaming, uploading, downloading, cross referencing, and just general PR shit, I think I'll take a break with some more coffee and keep watching the 13 Reasons Why show. MAybe.

On a side note, I quit nicotine on Friday morning so now I'm noticing how much more ADD I really am! It's fucking insane!

J&TheNight

J&TheNight

 

Making Music

I'm just going to hammer out some quick things here as I'm dozing off anyways. I've been making music for a few years now, even longer if you consider my time in a band prior to my personal works. Over the years a lot has changed for me, both personally and musically, that now and again really leaves me wondering about just about everything. The concept of selling out vs staying who you are. The opinions of the bottom vs the top. Just a lot of... noise really. Doing this has been my passion, drive, and sole desire for a long ass time, yet it's still something I don't discuss publicly. It's too naive a dream or pursuit to most, who quickly return your admission with a sarcastic sneer and "Oh, you're in a band?". It's a real pain to happen to oneself, but when I see others do it? Ah, it's just a train wreck of emotions.

J&TheNight

J&TheNight

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