For those who don't know, Blue is a Japanese 1981 daphne blue Fernandes RST50 "Revival" Stratocaster with a maple neck. It has a 7 screw hole pickguard (as opposed to a 11 hole).
Unfortunately finding this model in daphne blue is next to impossible, I've only ever seen 1 or 2 other ones and they weren't for sale. Because of this I decided to settle on getting one in any colour and just having it repainted. It took me about a week to find the exact model for a decent price. Most places wanted $700+ for the guitar even though that model isn't worth that much. After searching through ebay, Reverb, and other trading posts I eventually found one on an online store in Japan. Unfortunately they wouldn't ship to Australia but luckily for me, I had a friend in Japan will to help me out!
The guitar arrived a few weeks later and looks fantastic! I forgot to take pictures of it before it went off to get painted (it's currently being done now) but here's some ones from the online store
Up next - Part Two: Painting
So after many years of saying I'm going to do it, I'm going to recreate Blue.
Using the technical information in this thread I'll be recreating to be as exact to Billie's as possible.
Over the next few months I'll be updating this blog with my process, showing lots of before and after photos and comparing it to the real thing.
Up next - Part 1: Finding The Guitar
It's a very common occurrence for me to go surfing through old blog posts and stuff I've written that I've forgotten about; that's what I was doing literally a minute ago before I came to post this. I was looking through old entries on this blog, reminiscing about old times and shit I thought and wrote, and I realized how much I used to make music based entries. Like I would name the entry after a song I was really into at the moment and thought other people might enjoy as well, and would recap some of the lyrics in the entry with a link to listen to the song. I guess I'm gonna try to pick that back up right now, give it a go and see how I feel about it now.
I've been listening to like three things recently: Queen, Kpop, and Dieterich Buxtehude's complete organ works. Because I'm consistent in my musical tastes. Heh.
But a song that's been really stuck on me recently is Spring Day by a kpop boyband, BTS. It's about missing a friend, which I can relate too all too well. I'm gonna post some lyrics translations, since the original is in Korean. If you wanna check out the song, the youtube video I linked on the name has captions and they're the english subs.
You know it all
You’re my best friend
The morning will come again
Because no darkness,
No season can last forever
Cherry blossoms are blooming
The winter is ending
I miss you
If I wait a little longer
If I stay up a few more nights
I’ll go see you, I’ll go pick you up
Past the end of this cold winter
Until the spring comes again
Until the flowers bloom again
Stay there a little longer
It both calms and saddens me. But hopefully I'll be seeing my friends again soon, ironically in the winter. Don't think the actual weather would matter though, not as long they're there.
Fuck I'm so sappy.
Someday far faraway in my past, I was a child. Not a child in terms of age, that's something I still carry with me. No; child as in innocent, in so many different ways. A child hasn't been touched or tainted, by skin or by thought. A child is free, to roam without fear and sleep without nightmares that carry something more. A child hasn't lost anything significant, hasn't worked to gain something, hasn't felt despair, love, longing, lust...
I miss it. God, I miss it. So much, too much. I miss the days when my head wasn't full and my chest wasn't empty. I didn't long for the touch of someone I can't have, not the way I want to, anyway.
It's funny. Nothing has changed and yet everything has. It's hard to admit your feelings to yourself but once you do you can't take them back. No matter how much I want to, I can't take it back.
I'll tell her everything, piece by piece, year after year. I always knew I would. Even when we weren't even friends yet, I knew she was special. There was something in the way she held herself; she knew who she was and she felt no shame in it. I fell in love with the idea of her before I fell in love with her as a person, but it was always her, it will always be her. I will tell her everything because I can't not. I don't have it in me to deny her. My sister... she doesn't understand. It's not her fault, I haven't told her how I feel about our friend, and I never will, but she assumes that it's because I favor the other. "You didn't read this book when I recommended it to you twenty times yet all she had to say was she really liked it and you bought it in 3 minutes." The bitterness hurts, but I'll take it. It's better than letting them know how much this hurts. Everything else that hurts I will share one day, because she makes me want to tell her.
But not this. I can see it now, the rejection, but that isn't what stops me. I know her; fuck I know her so well, and I know she'd feel bad. Guilty. She doesn't deserve this, she doesn't deserve me and my fucking haywire emotions, she deserved better, so much better, and even if she felt the same way I couldn't do that to her. We're in different continents for crying out loud; it would never work, not long term.
But that's what I want. Her, long term. I wish I didn't, I wish these feelings would go away, but they don't. It's been five fucking years, and I haven't even seen her for like the last half of that; I've changed, and so has she. We've grown and fallen apart as friends and back together -because we always fall back together- but my heart hasn't changed.
I tell her I love her every time we talk and it feels like a lie, because when she says it she means "you're my best friend" but when I say it I mean "you're the love of my life."
Maybe I'm wrong. I'm still... young. Not a child, but young. Inexperienced and new. Maybe she's not "the one." Maybe she'll be one of many. But something tells me that if anything was going to change it already would have.
I hope I'm wrong.
P.S. fuck how did this even happen this was supposed to be a meld of fiction and my own frustrations but it ended up being a confessional. I shouldn't be surprised. When it comes to my brain, everything always somehow leads back to her these days.
That title of this blog post is a line from a song. Not one I wrote or anything.
But on the subject of things I did write, I deleted my old blog because there was way too much shit I was no longer even remotely satisfied with, and because that's what happens when self-consciousness and impulsiveness are dominant traits in one's brain. I'm starting over with a convenient word doc anyone can download at this link: http://docdro.id/2PKGIO2
Therein lies the poetry that survived the purge, a small volume titled Recursions. That is the complete collection of all my poems which I still like. Most of it has been posted here before, but one blog is better than 20. It opens in a new tab and everything when you click it. That's that.
Hello, fellow GDCers. Thanks for all of the well wishes through all of this craziness with my dad.
The latest on my dad is that he will have to go through chemo and radiation starting on September 11th. Surgery was unable to remove all of the cancer, so the doctors now want to do radiation to remove the last of it which they believe they can do. They had to remove one of his jugular veins during the surgery as well as a muscle from his neck to his shoulder that has now limited the ability of him to raise his arm above his head.
Swallowing is an issue for him at the moment and he's on a liquid diet until he can get his swallowing under control.
So, today...my mom called to tell me that she has a tumor on her throat and that she will need a biopsy to see if it's cancerous.
I honestly don't even know how to process all of this. Between my dad's cancer, his confession of an affair 15 years ago and now my mom maybe having cancer? In a dark way, it's almost become comical. Nothing fazes me anymore and I just laugh at awful news now because it's become so ridiculous.
Anyhey. Life is swell and I can't wait to see Green Day in 12 more days.
New lyrics. Enjoy.
Reach Into The Moon
What if I run now?
Will I ever be okay?
Do I deserve you?
Do I deserve anyone today?
Sometimes visions are all I see
nothing is ever real
The distance seems too far
for me to ever feel
Reach into the moon
That is where I reside
A counter to everything we see
That is where I hide
If you see the moon
hanging from the line
Fear me, for I have
fallen from the divine
Why do you stay by me?
When I never get things done?
What is the path of
stars when the lights run?
I always say what I mean
to better my own view
Driving away the remnants
of my chosen few
Living in air pockets
away from the fear
Giving into the torment
of relapsing when I'm so near
Roaming among coasts unclear
Do you hear the bells now?
They've only come for me
I'm the leader of the sinners
but it's what sets me free
I'm positively negative
and I remain unchanged
Realism tires out
the unholy and the strange
Seeping into the void
Riddles only confuse
when science is my point-of-view
There's no reason for this feeling
but it ends when I think of you
Orbiting out of skew
into what is true
Into what is true
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Most viewed blog entry: New update on my dad and it's very complicated (471 views)
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Hey, everyone. Here's the latest with my dad and it's a very, very complicated situation.
My dad's cancer is just in the lymph nodes in his neck. He will be having surgery at the Cleveland Clinic Monday morning and the hope is to remove all of the cancer through surgery.
However, here's where our lives get really fucked up.
The latest biopsy confirmed that my dad's cancer was caused by HPV to which my dad dropped the bombshell on our family by confessing that he had an affair 17 years ago. My parents have been married for 37 years and this has absolutely destroyed my mother. She kicked him out of the house for the time being and he's currently staying with my sister. My mom might not even go to his surgery.
I don't even know how to process this. In the brink of having a major surgery done and all the rallying and supporting we've given him this has taken the wind out of my sails. I'm furious at him and told him so. I had to go home Monday night when the news broke and try and console my mother which was an impossible task. I've never heard her cry like that. I had no answers or words of comfort. It was the worst night of my life.
Everything I based off of marriage and love was based on my parents relationship and now that's shattered.
But, he's still my father. He's having a major surgery done Monday and I guess I have to get back in his corner for the time being and then he has some questions to answer when he's healthy.
I just...this is the worst fucking situation any of us could be in and I feel so, so bad for my mom. She's the nicest person out there and my father was the world to her. Now, my mom is just a mess and it's heartbreaking. Seeing my mom take their wedding photo off the wall will always be cemented in my brain.
Thanks for everyone's thoughts and prayers through all of this. We could all obviously still use them (for various reasons now), but in no way do I want my dad to die or anything like that Monday. This is just a very trying time on all of us and I needed a place to express my thoughts.
As always, Rage and Love to my Green Day Family.
New lyrics. Enjoy.
This Rosemary Sky
As the sun shines over the hills
and the dawn is pierced
by the bolt of the damned
The wind caresses my skin
with the needle in your life
calling you in on the knife
Tread not the path of hate
The boat set sail
to tear down the veil
This rosemary sky
once brought a tear to my eye
When I pulled away
from all my darkened days
and took grip of the blood
and rose above the flood
The image is always unclear
but open your eyes
stop living out of fear
The baggage weighing you down
Unpack your mind
and face what you find
Fuck the rest; start living for you
Walk with respect but
don't cloud your view
Sometimes there's no sympathy;
only eyes filled with apathy
I forgot most of them
but abandoned that problem
The poison choking me
died in rosemary
What a beautiful day
even when you're not okay
but will get there some way
I sit on my knees and I grasp at the flesh of my palms. My nails sink into the soft mold of skin and meat, no pain. I am swelling, filling up with warm, pounding blood, plump as the ripest plum, ready to burst and paint the intricate fur of the rug underneath with the juice in my veins. At the same time, my pudgy body is sinking, melting into a puddle of human goo, indistinguishable. My nails are growing at an alarming rate, weaving through my palms and into my arms and beyond, building their own root system throughout me. I wonder if they will eventually come back out and repeat until I am so wrapped up in myself that I just lose. The fur underneath tickles my legs and rubs against the coarse hair that grows there. Could I be made into a rug? All my hair, taken along when I am skinned, and carefully cleaned and processed and softened and colored and preened. Someone else sits on the rug that is me.
I am soft. Oh so soft on the outside; I cannot be touched without being ruined, but on the inside grows diamonds. My diamond heart reaching up for my diamond brain but never reaching. Magma flowing through my hollow veins and coating it all. Growing thinner in skin and thicker inside. What am I? Dead? Alive? A human? A rug? The sitter? The seat? Plum? Diamond?
I am me, and me means nothing because it is all the words you attach to it. I have too many words attached to me, I don’t know which ones are real anymore. Who am I? Everything I ever wanted? All I never wanted?
I am null, because I am both. Invalid.
Today the Atlanta Journal-Constitution newspaper published a story on me in their “Weight Loss Success Stories” section. An unscaled photo of my neck/chest area highlights the top of the story, so that obviously makes me proud. LOL. I was hoping they would include my quote about how big a role music has played in my weight loss journey, followed by my undignified plea for (free) Music Midtown concert festival tickets. I obviously can’t afford to buy them! All of my disposable income is tied up in Halo Top ice cream and Sandwich Brothers egg white turkey sausage breakfast thingies!
Here’s a link to the article. Try to not get yourself too worked up over my clavicle.
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New lyrics. Enjoy.
I entertain the thought of you
won't you listen to me?
I never knew just who I was
until I wished I could see
I tie you up and you lie me down
in this cosmic debris
I want to hear your call
won't you sing to me?
Oh, I know just what I need
you're a siren, make me bleed
I'll share my treasure and the peak
of the night and sinner's entropy
If the Devil's real,
he'll be answering to me
The shadow of the snow
melts under my feet
The call of the wild is
I wanna hear your call
won't you sing to me?
Now, I have figured out my path
A statue of the aftermath
Locked in the public, I have the key
This is only between you and me
Reject the holy prison
restore red velvet supervision
I wanna hear your call
won't you set me free?
Hey, everyone. Just wanted to provide those of you who were reaching out to me and my family an update on my dad's health.
We learned today that he does in fact have cancer again even after being labeled "cured". Where the cancer is in we don't know yet until a PET scan is done sometime here soon (date TBA).
The hope is that this cancer is just at his one lymph node and they can remove it surgically. The surgery will be done at the Cleveland Clinic where both my sister and brother-in-law work, so we're feeling confident about the surgery being done there.
Family mood is decent. We're staying hopeful and positive. What we're banking on is that the cancer hasn't spread anywhere else, the surgery will be a success and then he can start recovering.
Thanks everyone for your thoughts, prayers, concerns, etc. It means and a lot and has helped me personally feel better. My dad says he wants a joint right now Told him he needs to come see Green Day again in August and we can take care of that
-Rage and Love-
Perhaps this is a dorky request, but I figure since we're all music enthusiasts here, why not?
The composer of the first three Tomb Raider games is hosting a Kickstarter project to revamp the soundtrack with a full orchestra, to be recorded at Abbey Road studios in London. I wrote up a summary regarding the project over on the Tomb Raider Deviantart page I admin if anyone's interested in more details: http://tombraiders.deviantart.com/journal/The-Tomb-Raider-Suite-News-686956563
Here's the direct Kickstarter link: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1636910846/the-tomb-raider-suite/description
We're almost there! If anyone would like to back the project, there's some epic goodies up for grabs when you participate including signed posters, shirts and more!
New lyrics. Enjoy.
Once more feathers fall
as you wake again, another bore
Time and time again
moving nowhere and attempting to change score
Will someone hold you now?
Will you make it somehow?
We are holy
We are unholy
We are unholy in our flaws
And I'm nervous
And I'm anxious
And I'm anxious for the end
But how bad can it be?
How clearly can you see?
This time, more than before
Settle the tides
Control your life
See how your ego hides
Will your life end in a lie?
Will you die to live or live to die?
I an holy
I am anxious
I am content in my flaws
It's too tempting to hide behind a screen
when we all live
in a run-down submarine
Regurgitating the past,
with songs and ideas that rule
I appreciate you but
I won't be taken for a fool
With our open world
Earthly contraptions break us down
But we need them and feed them
and rectify the stolen crown
Will you meet me there?
Will you treat me fair?
I am gracious
I am ruleless
I am faintness
We are greatness
We are absorbent to all harm
We are greatness
We are stateless
We are earthly contraptions in full form
Five years ago, my dad was diagnosed with Stage 4 throat cancer after never smoking a single cigarette in his life. The cancer was treatable and he came out on top of it after a few months of chemo and radiation.
Ever since then he's regularly been checked for cancer and everything's been clean for years. They labeled him cured.
Well, after having a sore neck for about a month or so, my dad went to have a biopsy done today and the initial diagnosis is cancer. Fuck. Why? What the fuck? Where did this come from? I guess we find out more Friday, but today's been really tough.
Oh, today's my mom and dad's 37th wedding anniversary, so fuck you universe, God, whatever.
Please keep my dad in your thoughts and prayers. Let's hope the news Friday gives us a clearer game plan as we go forward beating the shit out of cancer again.