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  1. Lone
    Latest Entry

    By Lone,

    10 Most popular topics for June 2016
    1) Green Day in the studio 2016 - 1,285 posts
    2) May the IVth GDC Regulars Club be with you... - 318 posts
    3) Green Day Instagram Photos - 290 posts
    4) The British EU Referendum - 286 posts
    5) Random Green Day Thoughts - 257 posts
    6) Worst mass shooting in American history: 49 dead at Florida gay nightclub - 254 posts
    7) Euro 2016 - France - 241 posts
    8) Blink-182 - 219 posts
    9) Random Thoughts - 156 posts
    10) The Green Day Fangirls' Confessions Thread - 134 posts

    Top 5 Most Active Members
    BillyjoelxkidXx (304 posts)
    JJ1964 (295 posts)
    Steven Seagull (263 posts)
    Second favourite son (255 posts)
    WhiteTim (237 posts)

    Top 5 Most Liked Posts
    This post by Emilie. in The Picture Thread
    This post by Lindsay in The Picture Thread
    This post by Fuzz in The Picture Thread
    This post by She-Loves-Him in The Picture Thread
    This post by ghesboro in Punk? No. Green Day is POP PUNK.

    Members active: 363
    New Members: 48 
    Total Visitors: 14,114
    Most registrations in a single day: 3 (June 4th)
    Single busiest day: June 20th
    New Topics: 63
    Total Posts: 6,984
    Total PMs sent: 64 (new), 734 (replies)
    Blog posts made: 15
    Most viewed blog entry: I kinda want to know what other people think is the best song off of Insomniac (110 views)
    Total Rep Given: 8,081

    Happy start of the second half of the year! If you still haven't started on your resolutions yet, you still have 6 more months to go. If you were wondering what happened in the most popular thread this month, Billie basically will be using a pretty sweet looking guitar (for whenever he is going to use it for). You can check it out here if you haven't already. We've increased in total visitors (↑5%), posts (↑44%), reply PMs (↑40%), and total rep given (↑55%) from last month. Display name history is back so now you can look at how many times last month's birthday boy changed his name.

    GDC Tip #3: Sometimes it's nice to browse with start fresh by marking the whole forum read. You can do this by clicking the "Mark site read" button on the bottom right of the page on the dark theme or near the top right below the search bar on the light skin.

    Peace out.

  2. 4933457_orig.jpg

    It's Romantic Isn't It?


    Maria Gloria

    One of the many wonderful photographs by Maria Gloria. Take a moment to check out more of her photography and leave a comment


    Make a suggestion for next weeks MasterPiece of the week my sending BeachBum a pm.

  3. Ok so maybe I lied when I said it wouldn't take me another 5 months to post again. Actually since my last post it's been a literal year. Sorry I couldn't upload anything else but in all honestly up until May of this year I couldn't finish a song. I had ideas right after Inner Monologue but either couldn't come up with lyrics or could only think up a small amount of them. Those songs may be finished one day, but after these two songs I'm kinda out of ideas for full songs. Well I do know what I want to write about next it's just a matter of actually being able to do it. For now here's two new songs

    The first one is called "Plot Twist" which is about my other group of internet friends suddenly confessing shit all in the course of a few weeks or something (and the first verse TOTALLY isn't about me, what the fuck are you talking about that's such an unwarranted accusation)



    Confessions soon began
    With some online friends
    One wasn't so open with his life
    Then one day everything changed
    He decided to show his face
    Turns out he's not even a guy

    Everything I knew was wrong
    You've been different all along
    No ones what they claimed to be
    One reveal after the next
    It's a soap opera at its best
    Does anyone else want to speak?

    Everyone was blown away
    But that's not the end
    The tables continued to turn
    One friend came back from the dead
    Another wanted to confess
    She's really a guy not a girl

    Everything I knew was wrong
    You've been different all along
    No ones what they claimed to be
    One reveal after the next
    It's a soap opera at its best
    Does anyone else want to speak?

    There's enough lies to fill a page
    No one's their gender or their age
    The pictures we've made in our head
    In an instant, all made dead
    But somehow nothing has changed

    Everything I knew was wrong
    You've been different all along
    No ones what they claimed to be
    One reveal after the next
    It's a soap opera at its best
    Does anyone else want to speak?
    Speak now or forever hold your peace

    The second song is called "Tired" which is essentially me being done with people's shit



    You sure can hold a grudge
    I didn't know you'd hold this up
    For more than a few days
    But still that's not enough
    Cause you decide to
    Take everyone back
    You claimed to hate

    You push and pull me 
    From your life
    It took to long for me
    To open up my eyes

    I've had enough of you
    I'm sick of your never ending,

    Always changing mind
    Don't even try to 

    Deny this, it's true
    If you're gonna be this way 
    Maybe I should decide
    I don't need you

    For once I try to help
    But then months go by
    And still nothing's changed
    I thought I knew you well
    Then you go behind my back 
    And won't talk to my face

    I never thought 
    You'd reach so low

    I guess I was wrong and
    Now I know that 

    I've had enough of you
    I'm sick of your never ending,

    Always changing mind
    Don't even try to 

    Deny this, it's true
    If you're gonna be this way 
    Maybe I should decide
    I don't need you

    We don't stick together at all
    I guess it was to good to be true
    Is this really our final fall
    Did I mean anything to you

    -woo solo- 

    I've had enough of you
    I'm sick of your never ending,

    Always changing mind
    Don't even try to 

    Deny this, it's true
    If you're gonna be this way 
    Maybe I should decide
    I don't need you  (x2)


  4. How are you?

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    Recent Entries

    Steven Seagull
    Latest Entry

    I made this beat. What do you think?


  5. New lyrics. Enjoy.

    Ride The Static Wave


    It's an information age of the seasons

    Controlling views and masses for their reasons

    Pulling away from the grip of paranoia

    Killing in the name, they'll destroy ya




    We all lose control

    but the radicals


    are just savages


    It's a gray, smoking haze of the forests

    Static blackout coming towards us

    Opinionated news with no sources

    Running the track again with the forces






    No matter the name

    they call it quits



  6. Do any of you remember this story about a reporter, who in the aftermath of a plane crash starting going through the luggage of the deceased passengers? Body parts likely weren't more than a few meters away from him. All these people had died right there, and here is this reporter unzipping the bag and casually remarking on the possessions of all these dead people. He got a lot of shit for doing that. It was disrespectful, inconsiderate, and in incredibly poor taste. I do have to wonder though what the reaction may have been if that journalist had picked up a charred, severed leg and proceeded to eat it right there on camera.

    What the fuck am I talking about? I'm not talking about people literally eating the flesh of the dead, no. But the way politicians respond to acts of mass murder and terrorism amounts to the same. They're like vultures eating roadkill. At the Republican National Convention, Trump had a big appetite and he ate up the corpses of those dead cops in Dallas and Baton Rouge. Those were fresh, weren't they? Even a scavenger prefers fresh carrion if given the choice. Fresh casualties serve the politician's purpose especially well - wait too long and they just don't have as much potential.

    Murder is the greatest gift an authoritarian tyrant can ask for. The more bodies, the better - the tyrant can consume them all. A woman in California murdered by an undocumented immigrant - politicians fed off her for months, growing stronger as they did. To them, she wasn't a victim, she wasn't a human being with a family and her own story - she was nothing more than food. The thousands who perished on 9/11 gave the vultures and crows a feast for years. The feast was so abundant that the American people surrendered their civil liberties to the Patriot Act and consented to an endless war in the Middle East. Thousands of soldiers died in those wars and they were consumed too. Every dead soldier gave an empty suit a chance to pay lip service to a sacrifice and win some votes.

    This summer has seen awful acts of mass murder. An attempted coup in Turkey cost hundreds of lives. Erdogan, one of the foulest vultures of them all, is still gorging himself. The aftermath has given him leave to eliminate every last dissident down to a person who merely changes the channel every time Turkey's dictator is on TV. The NRA loved how the victims of Orlando's Pulse Club tasted - every massacre strikes fear into the ignorant that this will finally be the tragedy that motivates the government to confiscate everyone's guns. The NRA and their gun manufacturer sponsors make a fortune as people hoard guns and ammo. Meanwhile, the government isn't feasting for the sake of gun control - they're looking for the kind of meat that tastes like scapegoating an entire ethnic group. Innocent Japanese Americans were put into internment camps just over 70 years ago, and some of you were born before our government apologized for it. You think that can't happen to Arab Americans in the 21st century? This country may elect a man who can make it happen. All Trump needs is a few more attacks. More bodies to feed off. Stupid as he can be, he's shrewd and cunning enough to pick those bones clean. 

    In Europe, there are bodies and there are also vultures. In France, the vultures are called the National Front. In Germany, they're PEGIDA. There are many who are feeding on the victims of Nice and Munich. They hope they can eat enough to turn public sentiment to their favor. Every refugee, every Muslim, every foreigner will be guilty until proven innocent. And on the waves of fear, right-wing vultures will ride into power and reshape the liberal democracies of Europe into their twisted image.

    If you want to honor the victims of terrorism and mass murder, rise up against the vultures eating their flesh. 

  7. howi
    Latest Entry

    hello all GDC'ers...;)

    i just let my drawing speak for it self..

    this time i post 15 my recent drawing.




    self portrait. acrylic, pen on a3 paper.



    my lonely riot. pen,marker, pastel, ink on a3 paper



    journey. acrylic on a3 paper.



    she saved my head. acrylic on a3 paper



    dead head. acrylic,pen on a3 paper.



    dead poet society. acrylic, pen on a3 paper.



    untitled. acrylic on a3 paper



    prometheus. oil paint and pen on a3 paper.



    cactus poem. acrylic, water colour, pen on a3 paper.



    exorcism #1. acrylic on a3 paper



    exorcism #2. acrylic on a3 paper



    death star of the year. acrylic on a3 paper.



    artist plant. acrylic on a3 paper.



    untitled. acrylic on a3 paper




  8. Z J
    Latest Entry

    The Virtuoso 




    Take note 

    of the virtuoso,

    and the power that she holds.

    Watch her bear her soul for the crowd, 

    while maintaining composure and control. 


    Her notes 

    are clear, and her story bold.

    She fears not lies that jealousy told.


    On stage,

    she is the master.

    A prodigal genius since the age of five.


    But inside,

    she is a disaster,

    just trying to survive. 


    By the applause

    she lives and dies. 

    Hitting the crescendo,

    her performance carries

    us along for the ride. 


    It’s a feeling

    only she can really describe.

    The audience, now kneeling—

    to the new Goddess of Music—

    they prescribe. 


    She leaves

    the stage, and takes 

    off her mask. She’s turning the page,

    she pours herself another glass.


    She heads

    home, which is in the upstairs 

    of the concert hall. There she 

    retreats and lays her head against the wall. 


    She wondered if the crowd 

    had really loved her at all.

    She wants to be proud,

    but she’d never say as much aloud. 

    She wants to please the audience,

    and she knows what it takes now. 


    However, the show is only a temporary escape. 

    When she turns back to the reality of this place,

    she struggles to fall asleep. 

    Her heart has too many burdens to keep,

    and playing the Virtuoso isn’t cheap.

    Her work is perpetual, she pushes on to the next one, 

    her pulse beats in a Pyrrhic pursuit of perfection.


    She longs for that connection 

    with the crowd, the clap, the roar,

    that moment when she realized 

    what all the heartache was for.

  9. So ive been 18 for a few days now, still dont feel like an adult but thought everything was going great. Then this morning things took a real turn for utter shit. My boyfriend (some quick background on him, we were dating for 2 months, hes in the army, and hes supposed to go on leave today and come home for almost 2 weeks) dumped me this morning via text basically saying I can keep the birthday gift I got him and whatnot and he just cant do/ doesnt want a long distance relationship. Like what the hell man... you go on leave EXTREMELY soon and you break up with me, and a few days after my birthday no less. Like wouldn't a person not date someone if they aren't into long distance? Why date me for like 2 months and dump me =/ (even more background, his base is between 4-6 hours away so not that far either) How is about two states away even really long distance? GAH men are confusing as all hell. 


    ~Very frustrated person

  10. BetterThanAir
    Latest Entry

    I'm sure you all have seen my very limited posts on here. I am always reading the boards when I can, but I haven't contributed much...mainly due to busyness, but also because I've been up and down lately. I'm sure some people may not care for an update, but I am friends with many people on this site, so I just wanted to let everyone know what's up with me and what I've done while I've been less active on here. :) 

    • I got into the professional years of Social Work and Disability Studies at my University! One of ninety people to be accepted, in fact. ;) 
    • I've been working out a ton. 
    • I finally got my anemia stabilized to the point where I can go for my full driving test! It's tomorrow, wish me luck! 
    • I have also been fainting a lot less. Since 2016 started, I have only passed out twice. I am very sleepy quite often, but it's great to be in control. 
    • I have been going to therapy for my panic disorder. I don't talk about it much with anyone, but I'm happy I am getting the support I need. I will also be starting medication for it again, even though I'm hesitant to.
    • I got a second job! As you know, I do work at a pet store, but I got a second job two days a week working with a child with a disability.
    • I am a single pringle who is ready to mingle to this jingle. :toocool: 
    • I have been going to a lot of concerts lately! This weekend I am seeing the love of my life, Mac DeMarco, yet again. :wub: 
    • I have been rekindling old friendships.
    • I stopped talking to my best friend about six weeks ago, and even though I'm sad, I still haven't felt happier and more in control of my life.
    • I am meeting my best friend off of this site, Tom (96Tomato) next month! <3 
    • My hair has grown six inches, and is midway to my waist again. 
    • I got my scholarship back!
    • I have been trying to not let people treat me like shit. It's nice to stand up for myself, but every time I do, I have a panic attack afterwards. :lol: 
    • I have been reading more, writing more, doing some more art pieces, and brushing up on my French.
    • I still have many pets, and I still play with them every day. 
    • My cat is turning twenty tomorrow and he is still very sick. I pay a lot for his medication every week, but it's okay. :wub: 

    Other than that, I don't know what else to say. :P I miss you all. I think about you all every day, I really do. 

  11. Juste Bro's Blog

    So, a classmate of mine has become a bit problematic recently... (and I say classmate because I'm not sure I can call her a friend anymore.)

    I'm no fan of hers anyway since she showed some homophobic tendencies ever since I started to talk to her this semester, which has really bothered me and another friend who is bi, but it was really mild and I thought "meh, she's Russian. what do I expect? she was probably raised this way". But she didn't do shit to help us during our group project and will probably still get a good grade. I often contemplated talking to our professor about her lazy behavior but I never never had the heart to go behind her back, so I didn't. After our group presentation (which went marvelous by the way) we planned to take her to the side and talk to her that we didn't want to do group projects with her anymore. I left before I got the chance (I carpool with another classmate to uni), so I don't know if my other two friends talked to her. Later I got the message: "Oh, you left so soon, I didn't even get the chance to give you your goodbye present! The other girls already got theirs, I will give it to you next week!" And suddenly I really felt bad and thought "she's so nice. i just can't bring myself to tell her she's a terrible group member." So things have remained friendly and I had no plans to change it.

    Well, yesterday Germany played against Italy in the Euro Cup and everyone, including me, absolutely went nuts (there were cars honking and fireworks in the sky until three hours later), but then I receive a message from her, a white girl, saying: "A n**** just stole my flag on our way to the car :(:(:( "
    I was completely shell shocked by that comment because I never expected anyone I know to be so blatantly racist and to never once think "this might not be a wise thing to say". 

    When I called her out on it, calmly (but disappointed) saying that that's incredibly racist and that you should never say that no matter how angry you are, she actually defended herself by saying that stealing a flag is stupid too! :/ Which obviously set me off because I couldn't believe she was justifying a racist slur because someone stole a flag she can buy for 2 euros in the next corner store. And then she has the audacity to tell me "fuck racism, that guy just ruined my good mood", when I angrily call her out on it. On top of that, she made a Facebook post saying: "a black man just stole my flag" and actually felt the need to emphasize that it was indeed a BLACK MAN who stole her flag which just proves that she felt her prejudices were confirmed.

    She wasn't even acting like she was sorry for her comment. She actually believed that she was being wronged here. 

    When I started telling her how incredibly disappointed I was, that I expected more of her and that her lack of insight on top of the racism says a lot about her character, she started making excuses like "I wasn't thinking" and "I was drunk, alcohol does bad things to people", which is just plain bullshit. Alcohol loosens your tongue and makes you lose your inhibitions, but it doesn't turn your value system upside down. I've been more than drunk several times before and I never acted like this. She added that it's "forbidden in Germany", which it isn't, it's just common sense, "and not the whole world" and that she didn't know it was such a taboo in this country, because there is no racism in Russia, it's an USA thing. She then started making apologies because she suddenly realised I was being serious about cutting her off. Her apologies were so hollow and I didn't believe it for one second and she got really desperate, saying she was ashamed and anything.

    I didn't feel bad about it at all, because I don't need friends in my life who are racist and refuse to take responsibility. But I'm also angry at my two other friends who didn't say anything the entire time the fight was going on, even though I know they were just as annoyed with her as I was. Now they're acting like nothing happened (literally my friend just asked something completely unrelated), and I'm the bad guy. I approached the problem and dealt with it, so they didn't have to and now they're safe and can continue being friends with her, while I'm the evil wrangler.

    Now I'm a bit conflicted, maybe I was acting too harsh by trying to cut her out of my life and think maybe I should give her a second chance, even though her attempts at remorse were pathetic and she should know better, since ignorance is really no excuse anymore in 2016. Maybe she's learning now though.

    [all text messages in spoiler]



    A nigga just took my flag out of my hand :mad::mad::mad: 
    While we were in the car


    That is incredibly racist
    You should never say that no matter how angry you are


    Stealing flags is stupid too :ermm:


    Jesus FUCKING CHRIST it is 2016
    And not the damn 50s
    And you're still justifying it


    My flag is gone


    Fuck your fucking flag
    I don't believe this right now
    You don't get the problem do you


    Not fuck. He had no right to take it out of my hand 


    And you had no right calling him that
    No matter what he did




    That's the bigger problem here.
    It's annoying but they cost like 2 euros and you can buy another. that doesn't justify racism.


    Fuck racism... i'm not making a drama out of it, i said it without thinking. i could have said the stupid young man ruined my mood :mad:


    Geez Daria you're really playing the wrong note here. at least admit that you made a fucking mistake and ACCEPT THAT RACISM IS NOT OKAY no matter what happens to you
    with things like "fuck racism" you're out of favor and if that ruins your mood i'm not sorry.
    there's worse things than a stolen flag


    I have no problem with racism...


    You obviously do


    I chose the wrong word


    Honestly, you're not even sorry
    I don't care then


    I have no prejudices against races


    You used a word, an insult towards an entire race, of which every CHILD knows that you can't use it and you don't even give the slightest impression, that you're the least bit sorry, but instead search for excuses and justifications for your behavior. and your facebook post, where you just had to highlight that it was a BLACK MAN who stole your flag, proves that you feel like your prejudices have been confirmed. that's the lowest of low and in the year 2016 you should know how to deal with such a topic.
    and the fact that you so vehemently try to defend yourself instead of realizing you made a mistake is more than disappointing and says a lot about you. sorry not sorry


    It's forbidden in Germany and not in the whole world... and I was affected... i wrote it here and didn't say it to him and he is the only one i should apologize to, if it had happened. and for you personally i will say it again: it wasn't a racist comment but an angry fit


    You really don't get it
    I didn't say you should apologize to ME
    But that you should apologize for your statement
    No angry fit justifies that.


    Ok sorry for my statement


    Yes I'm aware of how serious you are
    You're done


    No I'm serious


    I noticed
    You already showed that you're not sorry at all and you obviously don't get what the problem is and a "sorry" is a bit late now, sorry.


    I understand that you don't say that in Germany. No matter what happens. And I'm sorry. Alcohol does bad things to people. I'm sobered up now and can think clearer.. now I wouldn't say that.... if you're prejudiced against me now you obviously won't want to accept that I'm sorry


    Lol now I'm prejudiced against you
    Of course
    You don't say that anywhere. Maybe in Russia but not here. Alcohol loosens your tongue but not your value system. I was drunk often too but never allowed myself such things. Good that you're apologizing but that doesn't change my mind...


    But I'm not prejudiced against them! !!!!


    If you say so


    It's not forbidden in Russia because we didn't have racism problems, it all comes from the USA. It's less relevant for us. And the meaning of the word is not as important as it is here


    Yeah you have other problems in Russia


    I feel ashamed... i'm sorry again... it was really stupid... it shouldn't have happened


  12. Blink-182 has never really been a "great" band, but their music has always been fun and relatable. They're one of those bands that sticks with you emotionally. I can remember exactly what my life was like during each Blink album release, and a few of their songs remind me vividly of people and places of my younger days. However, after losing their most talented member in Tom Delonge to CIA/alien investigations and overall insanity, the band is lacking in creativity.

    Blink wasn't the same after their reunion. Neighborhoods was a good album that pushed the band creatively, but it wasn't their sound. Then it all fell apart when Delonge quit the band AGAIN and Matt Skiba was recruited to fill the void. This band just makes me long for what could have been. Their self-titled album was the most creative of their career, but they've never quite been the same since.

    Their new album, made without Delonge, is just really really boring. The producer, John Feldmann, known for producing rushed, glossy, and robotic albums with the likes of 5SOS, Story of the Year, All Time Low, and Black Veil Brides (what a group, right?) should be all the proof you need to realize what's wrong with this record. The vocals are in the forefront for the first time ever on a Blink album, and on top of that they are unsettling in their pitch perfection. See, smart producers keep "vocal mistakes," such as throat clearing, coughs, swallowing, and some vocal errors in order to make the vocals seem more real and more alive. They're usually not even noticeable, but they are typically there. Feldmann took the often-bad singing of Mark Hoppus and vocally corrected it to almost perfection. He's never sounded worse. But if the goal was to make a pop pop poppy punk record like 5SOS or All Time Low, Feldmann nailed it.

    The next issue is the lyrics or topical nature of the album. Old Blink songs stuck out for being weird, catchy, and for making you uncomfortable. These songs have no impact and are largely about nothing. They attempted to make some classic funny Blink songs in "Built This Pool" and "Brohemian Rhapsody," but these songs together last less than a minute and leave more to be desired. "Built This Pool" is probably the catchiest song on the record, and it is 16 seconds long. Why wasn't it developed into a full song? Which bring in Feldmann again. Interviews about this new album say that Feldmann "rushed" the band through the writing process to give the album a more gritty and spontaneous feel. Given that the album doesn't feel gritty or spontaneous, just very rushed, shows the questionable decision-making of this guy. Some good lyrics and classic Blink metaphors shine through at time, but they're surrounded by garbage like "dear head: shutup" from "Rabbit Hole" or the choral phrase "she's aaaaaantisocial" over and over again in "She's Out of Her Mind." The record is filled with "ooos" and "ahhhhs" and "woahhhhs," often at points were they just sound lazy. But Feldmann is known for rushing albums, and there's already another Blink album in the works, so this fits nicely into his production history. Overall, all the songs sound the same. "San Diego" and "Bored to Death" literally have the same opening baseline.

    It's not all Feldmann's fault, though. Mark and Travis show that they really weren't the driving force behind Blink-182, and as much as they resent Tom, they can't make a good album without him. Tom wrote all the riffs, and his vocals are THE Blink vocals. Mark sings like a Mr. Potatohead toy singing through a pillow. His vocals used to work when he and Tom played off each other with constrasting deliveries, but now Mark's monotone delivery for 30+ minutes is like a club to the face. Matt Skiba doesn't take anything from the band, but he certainly doesn't add anything either, aside from some crossover fan support. Delonge may be coming off as a jealous, lonely, and psychotic individual recently, but he's a cornerstone of Blink and should probably be very happy with how poorly this album without him came out.

    So the album feels rushed and glossy and lacks all emotion, but I will be buying. First, I like the artwork. Second, I'd rather a world with some form of Blink-182 than a world without it. I'll support this band and probably get a few good listens through the album driving around during the summer. The sad thing is that the new Sum 41 song and every new Good Charlotte song has been better than anything on California. Even weirder, the producer for the new Charlotte album? Feldmann, which makes me wonder why their album sounds so much better. This dude is monopolizing the market of aging pop punk band production and pumping out rushed ,uninspired albums. You could say that he's the Adam Sandler of pop punk album producers. Anyway, songs to check out are probably "Built This Pool," "Los Angeles" (which is sort of creative for Blink), "She's Out of Her Mind" (which sounds close to classic Blink), and "Bored to Death" because it's the lead single or whatever. 2/5 stars: one for being an easy-listening album, and the other for making a nice-looking coaster.

  13. I recently Jason White had a band named California, which at first I thought it was gonna be like a surf band or something, but then I just gave it a chance and I was pretty impressed by the band. If you want to give them a listen, I suggest first listening to Hate the Pilot.

  14. Viva La Sonia!'s Blog

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    Recent Entries

    Latest Entry

    Hello GDC, :)

    I've started writing again lately. Not as much, and maybe not as well .  but I've decided to get this blog started up again. Apologies if they're not very good. And feel free to go through some of my older stuff, if you've never read my work before.

    I hope you enjoy all future posts!! 




    I didn't intend on invisibility 
    But that's how I feel when you look at me
    I've gone back to the comfort.
    Of a cold empty room
    Ridden with stories
    Ended too soon.
    I've curled back into my shell
    Of feeling like everyday alive
    Is a day in hell.
    I've retreated into the safety 
    Of my mind like a hurricane.
    With only the slightest
    Memory, of when I was sane. 
    I know I'll never feel that way
    And I curse your name to this day
    For making me this way.
    Hollow, empty, broken, insane.


    Where did you go?
    from what I remember, 
    You were supposed to be here forever 
    Will you ever return?
    If so, what's your excuse
    You needed to run away to see my use
    Will you ever stay?
    The forever you promised.
    Will remain worth the dirt.
    You're buried under 
    With my tears and rose petals 
    Over, where I deserve to be. 
    What's my excuse?
    For crying over someone 
    Who was never mine to lose.
    For making the same mistakes
    I've been taught not to make.
    I could cry in the pouring rain
    Hoping I turn as cold as you are now. 
    My blood as still and eyes as dim
    As yours will remain from now on. 
    But what's it worth to know 
    If I'll never know where you really did go.

  15. Lady Darkling's sort of diary

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    Recent Entries

    There are things we don't like about the people we love, things we have always known. Things that aren't on the forefront and therefore, we can pretend that they're not an issue when in fact, they're pretty big issues. I love my father. He is amazing, he works so hard for me and my sister, and he's given up so much for us. There are things I hate about him.

    Like how he said 'insane', made weird googly faces and laughed like it was a joke, like it was funny. Like how he refused to listen to me afterwards because I was being disrespectful to him and suddenly it's my fault that I am angry at him for basically making fun of me. He doesn't understand, of course. Every time I've tried to tell him it's been dismissed under my age, and I think he doesn't want to understand, because then it would mean I'm hurting. But I am hurting, and this doesn't help.

    It's moments like these where I wonder, how would he differ if he could understand? Would he say these things if he knew his own daughter hallucinates sometimes? That she wants to cut her skin until there's no skin left, and sometimes she does? That she has panic attacks and bangs herself against the closet wall until she bruises? Would he still look in me in the eye and laugh?

    There are things I hate about the people I love, and my father's inability to listen is one of them.


    Moods: crying and stressed because I have my pre calculus final tomorrow and this just happened


    Stay Dirty


  16. Comrade
    Latest Entry


    I’ve been watching her eyes roll,

    Not in irony though:

    “It’s only half four, what you leaving for?”


    The sun’s come up and she hasn’t come down.

    That was the last time I caught her knocking around

    With that boy who wasn’t good for her;

    It weren’t his fault they just weren’t a fit

    ‘Cause she was too preoccupied cutting her wrists –

    She had too much gear and he wasn’t equipped.


    Waking up at the wrong end of the day,

    She’s pretty so she gets her way.

    But she’s sad, she has a second taste of the food she’s had

    Still she says it’ll be better one day.


  17. Dirntbag
    Latest Entry

    Knee deep in mud - then a splash
    and from waist down I’m encased
    in a begriming, cleansing bath.
    Savannah sun encrusts my back,
    hackles sheathed in grey cottage cheese
    that calcifies and begins to crack -
    bedroom this warthog’s wallow;
    bedclothes, pleasantly cool, swallow 
    my body whole.

    I wish I could lie forever in this
    watering hole, until it doesn’t feel 
    like I’m underwater anymore,
    until days blur and feeling numbs
    from never rubbing off any of this mud,
    just rolling and clogging my pores until
    I’m stuck in up to tusks and horns.


    A real nice warthog:


  18. For anyone who's been waiting on part 2 of my research on socialism leading to communism - I apologize that it's taking a while. I've been swamped with looking into other important subjects, such as confirming on how the monetary system is loony business, reading up about the Montessori way of education, etc. I have these 2 PDF files I'll want to look at, one that I'm absolutely sure is about the use of RFID microchip implants on kids (ICK!), and one that is about Whole Child Education - something I need to get a better understanding of. My friend Anita Hoge had suggested that I read up about Maslow, and I just got started doing that.  

    As soon as I'm done going through those 2 PDF files, I shall look into Karl Marx, and Engels. ...I REALLY want to start on putting together the pictorial video towards the fifth podcast my dad and I did some weeks back, and put that on my YouTube channel. *sigh* I'll start getting pics together next week. To hear all 5 podcasts ahead of time, before I start sharing them on this blog, you may listen them on NewGrounds: http://silverfoxjams.newgrounds.com/audio/ The first one is titled "Hello Interwebs...", and that is quite a mind boggling webisode. This conversation between my dad and I, it's quite a debut! Anything that has "Discussion Podcast" to the right are the parts of the series.

    Another way of educating oneself is through listening to certain songs through the ages that describe the various real world problems that just never cease. It's another way to show that throughout history, certain tragedies and crimes keep repeating over and over again. To quote from a lyric from a Puddle of Mudd song; "Same old shit, different day." 

    I'll pick some from my YouTube Playlist custom soundtrack to share with you all, "The Awesome Anti-NWO Soundtrack/Ultimate Soundtrack for Humanity". As I type, 249 songs in all are on it! I'm sure there's more than that out there, lol. I've found songs that are really old ones, such as those by Robert Johnson, Fela Kuti, and Billie Holiday. There's more by older musicians, and a handful that are more recent; The Offspring, Linkin Park, Staind, Michael Jackson, Muse... (Of course I put songs by Green Day on there, too. I've got about 5 or 6 songs by them on there so far!)

    Here are the 5 I'll share at random. Enjoy!

    1. Muse - "Uprising" (This band for one is AMAZING! The front man vocalist, Matt Bellamy, he's got a helluva range! Example, have you heard how him sing on their song "Supremacy"?!? Everyone in this band is so good at what they do. ...Anyways, this is a great song that calls for revolution, to resist against the tyrants who want to dumb the masses down.)

    2. Rage Against the Machine - "No Shelter" (This is one of my favorites by this band. This song tells the truth about the kind of propaganda that's been put out there to keep the many distracted and unaware of the reality outside the American Dream. The video to go along with the song to me is powerful! Warning: there's some intense imagery in this!!)

    3. The Clash - "Clampdown" (This one is a classic, describing how people have been conditioned on how to live. The lyrics are in the description box if you check this one out on the YouTube website.)

    4. The Who - "Won't Get Fooled Again" (This would be another classic song! My parents and I like The Who a lot...)

    5. Lauryn Hill - "I Get Out" (She used to be in the 90's group The Fugees! [Do you remember their cover of the songs "Killing Me Softly", and Bob Marley's "No Woman No Cry"?] This song is about her rebelling against the filthy bastards in the music industry. This is also her message toward the masses, to wake up and realize the reality that is the Tyrant System.)

    Haha, okay I lied about picking 5 songs. Why not choose a BONUS one?! Here you go, guys and gals; one of Green Day's songs I put onto this playlist. ;) This is one of my most favorite songs, from their Warning Album.


  19. Im not sure yet

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    Recent Entries

    Latest Entry

    Why cant i show whats in me?

    i feel pointing fingers.

    no thats not me!

    i want them to see!

    but who can see through concrete?

    All the while, the devil that can see,

    whispers and mutters that it knows me.

    there is one way to make yourself inside out...

    i try to write down the flow of colors

    but i hesitate, knowing that the swords

    that are my words will bring pain.

    bang bang two shots are one page.

    slice slice two limbs are gone but its complete.

    those parts of me will not again be seen...

    were the costs worth it?

    who would take that tainted meat?

    only the devil gobbles it up.

    and it is my home, the only one i will ever know.

    i throw up the colors that did not

    make it onto the pages,

    staining my skin.


  20. youngreendayvet
    Latest Entry

    Last year everyone on the GDC was so supportive with our award winning student film Saving Sadie! I wanted to take this opportunity to show our gory ass short film that disturbed a lot of people! 


  21. This is a really random story but it kind of freaks me out how weird it is, so here goes. So, to start this off, I'm just going to say, I write fanfiction. I have for three years, but it's not that smut shit because I figure I can write something kinda worth while and it doesn't have have all that crap in it. Anyways, I wrote a BVB fanfiction on the afterlife and suicide (All for the sake of experiment and reaching out to people) and all of that and have been posting it to this creative writing website. In my last update, I mentioned in my notes that I live in Wyoming, and one of my commentors said they did, too. Not a big deal, really. So I asked them, which part? The SAME TOWN AS ME. They're friends with some of my 4-H friends :lol: Best part is, they're just as weird as me and not into country music like everyone else in this forsaken town!!! But I'm having an issue... 

    ughhh I want to make friends with them, because this is a rare occurance. Sure, I have friends, but I don't have much in common with them. This is my chance! haha... But the problem I'm having, is if I tell them who I am, they may have heard of me before, because my town is tiny... and what if it spreads around and then that follows me for the rest of my highschool days... "Taryn writes fanfiction!" 

    1. I don't do it because I'm obsessed, it's because it's like working with a premade character in a story. You already know what they look like and all their quirks, so they're easier to work with and they have a pre-existing background. 2. I NEVER wanted my writing to ever intervene with my actual social life because people can and will, make fun of you for anything, and this is about as good as announcing you warship Satan or something. I'm not popular enough for it to spread like wildfire, but I know enough people to make it travel, which is a problem. 

    So what in the actual hell am I supposed to do with this?! On one hand, I want to make friends with her because she seems like a really cool person, but I don't know if she'd keep how we met a secret. On the other hand... I really don't want this to follow me forever if it slips from my grip, and the people who actually know me, happen to go and read this story, and associate me with my work, writing about suicide and all that crap. I could never talk myself out of a mess like that. So I'm asking for legitimate advice on how you would handle it, because truth be told, every single one of you has fangirled about something, even if it wasn't as low on the fandom chart as writing fanfics. What would you do? Thanks... 

  22. OK, hopefully that got some people's attention. I need some help. Auditions were just announced for a local production of American Idiot that I will be auditioning for. I'm wondering if anybody has, or if anybody is able to get/produce/create a high quality, instrumental only version of Brutal Love. Everything that I found on YouTube still has audible portions of the original vocals. Feel free to reply in the comments or send me a message if you are able to help. Thanks everyone :)

  23. Todd
    Latest Entry

    Paper Hearts
    By Todd Pritchard

    “Sara, do you want to drive?” asked Sara’s mother as they walked out to the car. “Not really” Sara answered, bluntly. “You’re going to need practice if you ever want  to get your license” her mom said. Sara sighed loudly and said “Maybe another time, mom” as she sat down in the passenger seat. “Well be sure to pay attention to what I’m doing so you can learn” her mother said. “The first thing I always do is I check my mirror.” Acknowledging her mother, Sara looked up from her phone, then focused on the heart-shaped ornament hanging from the mirror. “Mom, why do you keep that there?” Sara asked, pointing at the glittery red paper. Sara’s mom smiled and answered “You made that for me when you were little. It reminds me everyday how much I love you”. Sara sneered and said “I don’t like it, I think it’s ugly”. Hurt by her teenager’s harsh words, her mom replied “Well when you get your own car, then you won’t have to look at it”. But Sara wasn’t listening, she was too busy looking at her phone. Fighting back tears, Sara’s mom pulled out of the parking lot. She found it hard to accept that her little girl was growing up. She looked up at the ornament dangling from the mirror, which read “To Mommy, Love Sara”. Then everything went black.

    When Sara came to, she did not know where she was. She opened her eyes and looked around. There was a TV on the wall across from her, a window at her side, a chair in front of the window, and she noticed she was laying in a bed. Suddenly, a man’s voice said “Sara, are you awake?”. Sara tried to look over to her left, where the voice was coming from, but her neck hurt too much. “Hello?” she asked, nervously. There was no answer. Then Sara heard the sound of footsteps and an older lady came into view. “I’m gonna take your blood pressure, hon” said the lady as she came around the bed to Sara’s arm. “Wha- what happened?” Sara asked, realizing she was in a hospital. Hearing his queue, the man in the room walked over into Sara’s view. “Sara, you were in a pretty bad car accident. Luckily, you only have a few bruises” said the man in a stern voice. “Is everyone else alright? What about my mom?” Sara asked, worriedly. The man looked Sara in the eyes and began to tear up. “Your mother was killed in the crash” was all he was able to say before the tears started rolling down his cheeks. Overcome by shock and grief, Sara wept over her sudden loss. The man, still crying, knelt down next to Sara and took her hand. Together they cried.  

    Sara had lost track of time by the time she ran out of tears. When she went to wipe her eyes dry, she realized she was still holding the hand of the man comforting her. “Who are you?” she asked as she dried her cheeks. “I was a first responder at the crash. I pulled you and your mother from the car” he said mournfully. Before Sara could respond, the man reached into his pocket and pulled out a small piece of red paper. “I found this in your lap when I pulled you out. I thought you might want to have it”. Sara sat up and took the ornament. Overwhelmed with emotion, Sara hugged the man. “Thank you” she whispered in his ear.

    Three months had gone by, and Sara had not given up on learning to drive. Deeply affected by the loss of her mother, she had bought her own car and was determined to get her license. Finally, the big day had come, and Sara went to the DMV for her driving test. Along for support came Sara’s new friend, the first responder who had stayed at her side since the accident. “Good luck” he told her encouragingly, getting out of the car to let the instructor in. As the instructor sat down in the passenger seat, Sara made her final preparations. As she clicked her seatbelt in, the instructor asked her “Are you ready?”. Sara gasped. “One more thing!” she exclaimed, reaching into her pocket. In one swift motion, Sara hung the red heart ornament from the mirror, then adjusted it. “There!” she said, proudly. “Do you think you’re going to pass?” Inquired the instructor. Sara looked up at the mirror one last time. For just a second, she saw her mother’s smiling face looking back at her. With confidence, Sara answered “I know I will”.