Hey, it's GDC award time.

I've only been around for a few of these but it's always good fun watching from afar! I've never really bothered to campaign for anything partly because I've never really cared enough to and partly because I don't really communicate with people on here on a personal level, but hey, whatever. I'm not talented at things like graphics or design but I do fancy myself somewhat of a lyricist/writer. I've loved writing since I can remember ever picking up a pen basically. In this post, I'm just going to spew a few songs/poems at you in hopes that whoever reads it considers me for when they vote for best writer (if they even do at that!) There are a lot of great writers on GDC and I hope you guys think I'm part of them.

Song #1 - Eureka
A little quriky lovesong I wrote about having a fictional crush on this character named Eureka. Lame, right?

Shining brighter than the sun, her eyes are set ablaze
Purple stings drawing me into the maze
Screaming louder than the cracking clouds, nobody is to blame
She’s such a breath of fresh air when everyone you know is the same

It’s a little pathetic, if I could just tell you how I feel
But I’ve got a little hunch that this infatuation is not real

Eureka, Eureka
I think I’ve figured it out
Teaching me the meaning of what forbidden love is all about
Eureka, Eureka
I can never put you to shame
Holding on to this last chance, falling in love with a name

There’s nobody out there quite like her
Glow like a butterfly when those wings set you free
You’re less of a girl than you are entertainment for me
So quiet and shy, but when you open up inside
You’re a shining example of what to be

You’d call me crazy but come on, have you seen that face?
Perfection so pale, beauty so brisk it’s making my heart race

Song #2 -  Graves
I wrote this song about having to break it off with a friend of mine whom I had seriously whack feelings for.

I’m the last page in the darkest chapter
Her hair turns grey and dust surrounds her
Corners fray until my mind goes numb
Feels like this dryspell will never be done

My body’s burning just to get some sleep
Weighing the things I want vs. the ones I need
Every time I try to break the chain
The only thing I see is her name
We share a catacomb of promises and graves
A somber memorial to the bond we made

Her memory will rot and her bones will break
We finally found a place for our love to fade
That night we sat in the graveyard, sad and still
Looking out across the quiet hill

The trees faded into the pitch black sky
Everything disappeared except you and I
You hid your head as the tears came so soft
I tried to comfort you but I couldn’t talk

I fooled myself into thinking you were okay as your face stitched a false smile
I was looking straight into your broken eyes fighting my better judgement with lies
As we just sat there for a while

Please think about me when the night starts to storm
No matter what happens you are never alone

Song #3 - Untitled
To be completely honest with you GDC, I cannot remember what exactly caused me to write this song. I wrote it a while ago but rereading it now I can say that it's definitely about the girl from song numero dos and me dealing with her shit and all my other shit at the same time. I like writing about girls who break my heart.

The truth hurts, you can say it again
I’m a broken liar stuck playing pretend
I’ve got a fetish for thinking things are better than they are
It correlates with my inability to ever get real far

I am depressed but not because of that
If I could answer this, I’d probably never come back
I’m scared of letting go because of what it might do to you
You’re scared of holding on because you can’t get past what you put me through

And it’s funny that no matter who gets caught up in my web (can I start again?)
It’s always the same dead fly buzzing inside my head (where was I when)
It always comes back to the things you never could do (you got away)
It didn’t ever stop being all about you (you never mean what you say)

Flames burning shallowly, skin ripping reveals a hollow interrior
Take what I got and throw it away because what I had
Meant nothing to me anyway so what’s the use?
Collect some more dust in the shape of a noose
But nothing ever comes together because I’m scared of everything


Those are some songs. If you've stuck around this far, thank you for not being afraid of massive amounts of text. I'll now post a couple poems that I wrote around March.

Poem #1 - The Sand and the Ship

Every step
Like a crack in the frame
Or a tear in the page
Withers with me, keeping pace

Come join the sand, mocks the bottom
The boards hear me too and I cannot begin
To waive these pains, all of your lungs
Sigh collectively when I drop my eyes
And this anchor so pale

Off the coast of a beautiful island is where I'll float
Like a hermit leaving his shell, his miraculous bars
Coat my hair like a sloppy hope

Beaten by waves mercilessly to the point
Of almost dissolving into myself and I am dizzy
I can see the trees from where I lay

Poem #2 - Everybody

I'm looking to the sky and your eyes are bent forwards
You don't even see the malice in those three words
I'll take it kindly when the giants put us to rest
With you on your knees, sinking in your grave

Connecting the cement to your muscles and blood
Where is it that a boy can just be himself? Without anybody's help?
I have no choice but to feel so weak that it pushes me to drive
The scenic route at the bottom of the ocean, it drowns our tears as we cry

Or I'll shoot, or I'll shoot, buy these flowers or I will shoot
It's like we'll seal our fate in one little bemused kiss
Straight through, straight through, straight through the hoop
I can't believe I left the corpus luteum for this?

Everybody on their way back home
We all walk the same old path, the same dead grass
Everybody with other hearts in their pocket
We all say the same damn words, those same damn words

and finally...

Song #4 - Pen Kick
I wrote this song while trying to justify myself that the relationship I was in wasn't total shit. Spoilers: it was total shit. I seem to write about girls/romance a lot... also, the title came from this game a friend and I used to play in English class where we would kick a pen. It was wild.

Does love last forever? I have never met her
That dirty little smudge in the light

Who sold you out for their own good
A greedy heart that's pumping wood
And you, the ember
Catching fire with every lie and every smile
But it hurts
And I like that

All along it's been a tale; a storm of thoughts
I don't understand what's not to love about yourself
The box, this hope, all the drugs that I can take
Does it never really count if it can't really break?
Is fragility an indicator of how tough my skin can be?
The pools at the bottom of the tub seem to disagree
But I don't know

I feel the same as I did when I was young
Never found connections that much fun
And here I spit, where we shall sit
Like a pretty pew with nobody in it
I am obligated to seethe this through
A play on my eyes, and my vein's thick dew
Sells me out, time and time again

I've seen the truth and how we bend it
Resurrecting all the thoughts I thought buried
Long ago with a dirty jacket you didn't even like

I've heard the lies when they fall asleep
On the brink of disaster from fresh cut tongues
Bleeding on her bedroom floor so cold and tight

I don't mind, I don't mind shutting up
I don't care if we just stare and smile

...and that's it really! That's all I wanted this blog post to be, a few examples of my writing so that if anybody is considering voting for the best writer category in this years GDC awards, they might consider me. Thanks for reading it (if you even made it this far, jeeez) and good luck to everybody hoping to win something!