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Comrade's Scribblings



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Nature's Law

Posted by Comrade , in Poetry 10 November 2014 · 118 views

Nature's Law
 
In grief it is tempting to claim
The world is ugly; limp and lame - 
But temptation, that charming bride 
Is the very human beauty 
Man's morality seeks to hide 
 
Beauty is not in what we hold;
Happiness too fleeting t'grow old
Ugliness is bleak verity;
So man must become a monster
In passion - tr...


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Senses Prevail - Chapter 9

Posted by Comrade , in Senses Prevail 29 October 2014 · 132 views

So I have finally finished another chapter. Hopefully someone out there is reading along in some way. It's taken a long time, this has been chipped away at for a while, but never forced. So what's going on? From here the consequences of Williams' actions begin to make themselves known. It's a sexy chapter, dirty. It's the continuation of the turning p...


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Senses Prevail - Chapter 8

Posted by Comrade , in Senses Prevail 29 September 2014 · 380 views

The redraft of Chapter 8 adds a bit of exposition to proceedings. It still explores Williams' power over people - his manipulation of friends; his manipulation of conversation; his charm and flirtaciousness, but it does so far more in the context of Jamie not being there. Williams finds himself a little alone and a little isolated, and very much surrounde...


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Senses Prevail - Chapter 7

Posted by Comrade , in Senses Prevail 29 September 2014 · 372 views

There's been a long time since I updated Senses Prevail, but hey ho. The Chapter 7 redraft is quite extensive, it's over half as long again as the original text, still all in that one night, but with far more dialogue and a much deeper look at Williams and Jamie's relationship through their interaction with each other and their friends. A lot of that is d...


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Lyrics: All Of You

Posted by Comrade , in Lyrics 06 September 2014 · 154 views

All Of You

In life there is no soundtrack
But when I kiss you I hear music 
You cut me deep, but I don't bleed
Because you're the medicine I need
Every word you say becomes my favourite love song
Every story told the next to win awards
I'm suspicious that you don't plan to let go
A thousand years couldn't be enough to figure and to know

A...


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Senses Prevail - Chapter 6

Posted by Comrade , in Senses Prevail 10 August 2014 · 297 views

Cracking on with the redrafting, I've finished Chapter 6. I've added a lot more depth - more odd little things that just happen on nights out, and in the first couple of paragraphs I've fleshed out some of Williams's thoughts to give more of an insight and more depth to his mental state. There's more fun in the chapter now, I made a conscious effort to re...


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'She's got a Baby Now' and 'Good Reputation'

Posted by Comrade , in Poetry 22 July 2014 · 611 views

She’s got a Baby Now
 
Five years since I last saw her
And I've thought of her every day
Until I saw her on the street
And she looked the other way
No she didn't try to be mean
I just don't think she's been seen
The way I saw her way back then
 
She was the first, so it hurt the most
She'll be the worst but you won't care about...


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Senses Prevail - Chapter 5

Posted by Comrade , in Senses Prevail 15 July 2014 · 406 views

My second draft of this chapter, as with chapter 4, resulted in little structural change. There has been a re-jig of some of the middle section where Williams is going through the girls, in order to set one or two of them up as more important later in the story, and some dialogue has been added. Aside from that, changes have mostly been sorting out senten...


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Senses Prevail - Chapter 4

Posted by Comrade , in Senses Prevail 15 July 2014 · 319 views

Herein lies the re-draft of Chapter 4. I was pleased with this the first time around, so the revisions are relatively small. Some bits have been added and some previously difficult syntax has been corrected. I wanted to maintain a sense of innocence which is soon to be knowingly lost as Williams discovers his pleasures.... 
 
For those who are f...


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Senses Prevail - Chapter 3

Posted by Comrade , in Senses Prevail 30 June 2014 · 463 views

I've redrafted chapter 3 - not extensively like one and two, but I feel it's stronger. I've kept the dialogue short and snappy, and really just sorted out some sentence structure stuff, added in some more musings and background to Williams' character, and opened him up a little more to the reader. The chapter still stands as the first real chance to explo...






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