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Comrade's Scribblings



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Senses Prevail - Chapter 5

Posted by Comrade , in Senses Prevail 15 July 2014 · 338 views

My second draft of this chapter, as with chapter 4, resulted in little structural change. There has been a re-jig of some of the middle section where Williams is going through the girls, in order to set one or two of them up as more important later in the story, and some dialogue has been added. Aside from that, changes have mostly been sorting out senten...


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Senses Prevail - Chapter 4

Posted by Comrade , in Senses Prevail 15 July 2014 · 260 views

Herein lies the re-draft of Chapter 4. I was pleased with this the first time around, so the revisions are relatively small. Some bits have been added and some previously difficult syntax has been corrected. I wanted to maintain a sense of innocence which is soon to be knowingly lost as Williams discovers his pleasures.... 
 
For those who are f...


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Senses Prevail - Chapter 3

Posted by Comrade , in Senses Prevail 30 June 2014 · 364 views

I've redrafted chapter 3 - not extensively like one and two, but I feel it's stronger. I've kept the dialogue short and snappy, and really just sorted out some sentence structure stuff, added in some more musings and background to Williams' character, and opened him up a little more to the reader. The chapter still stands as the first real chance to explo...


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Senses Prevail - Chapter 2

Posted by Comrade , in Senses Prevail 23 June 2014 · 338 views

This is the re-worked Chapter 2; it isn't as heavily restructured as Chapter 1, but it too has incorporated some of the prologue - less directly, in that little text has been transferred here, but more in a suggestive sense; some interests and traits, instead of being described in detail as in the prologue, are suggested through examples and ideas here, a...


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Senses Prevail - Chapter 1

Posted by Comrade , in Senses Prevail 23 June 2014 · 414 views

I've reworked the story to not need the prologue, in doing so absorbing some of it straight into this and the next chapter, but also taking what the prologue said and writing that freshly into the rest of the book. I decided I wanted people to get to know Jack Williams through things occurring and as the story unfolds, rather than having all the backgroun...


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My Queen

Posted by Comrade , in Poetry 26 May 2014 · 126 views

Ah! A return to my blithering attempts at some faux neo-Baudelairean linguistically decadent Romantic poetry for the first time in a while. Feels good to be back in 'brooding romantic hero' mode. If my writing, be it poetry or prose, has any given theme then that theme is honesty, and honestly, this style feels the most honest to the vulnerable corners in...


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Nude

Posted by Comrade , in Poetry 19 May 2014 · 187 views

Nude
 
Time makes changes
Everybody starts strangers
The strangest times are with you
Time moves over
Even we get older
We live our lives in the nude
Time is changing
Rushing through faces
The last thing I want to rush is you
The crime is aging
People scared of their changes
Just as long as I live my life with you
That's all I want to d...


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After The End

Posted by Comrade , in Poetry 01 May 2014 · 198 views

I'm taking some time out from writing my book  while I'm busy and focusing on poetry/verse again. This has little or no real structure. Bit of fun that came out of a nostalgic reflection on some drama and goings on back in the day. It's light hearted, but it's gritty and it's honest.
 
 
 
After The End
 
A night out on the to...


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Senses Prevail - Chapter 8

Posted by Comrade , in Senses Prevail 09 April 2014 · 232 views

This chapter explores Williams' power over people - his manipulation of friends; his manipulation of conversation; his charm and flirtaciousness. There's a bit of subtext to it that it's not entirely his fault; he's more a slave to his desires than he realises, and actually he does have a deep-seated morality - a code. There was a lot of playing with his...


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The Fear & Screw

Posted by Comrade , in Poetry 28 March 2014 · 190 views

Screw
 
It’s the same.
She’s just got a different name.
Each day a different name.
Sad, each thrust does nothing.
It’s me, not her who’s bluffing.
Just another pair of legs spread,
Charmed by compliments I’d said
To every other pair of legs spread.
Lights flash by the window –
It’s open onto the s...






July 2014

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