QUOTE(Andres @ Dec 22 2007, 03:23 AM)
I started going back to church earlier this year. I went to confession for the first time in nearly 5 years last month. So after going a couple times and talking to the priest, I decided to go and talk to him about my sexuality. I know the church's attitude toward homosexuality, so i went in there very defensive waiting for someone to tell me why it's wrong. His response was really shocking. He commended me for being brave and comfortable enough with who i am to be able to discuss it, and to be able to tell my family and friends that it's who i am. He also didn't give me the regular schpill about what the Bible says. Instead he told me that he believes god loves all of for who we are, and that we are all created in his image. Just because gays are a minority in this world, doesn't mean that we are indifferent of the same feelings of love than anyone else. It was all very refreshing to hear, and then we were able to talk more in depth about why i have some of the problems i have.
He really gave me the feeling that I was invited to be a part of my religion. And it helped reassure me that my decision to go back to church was the right one. For the all crap people talk about people who go to church, I don't understand it. Not once have i ever felt that my religion has told me to look down on other people. It's never taught me to look down on anyone. I've always learned that being a good person is about doing what's right, and living a life that is selfless and eager to do right. I'd be kidding myself if i didn't think i was selfish, because I am. But i've always felt the goal of religion is to be a better person.
Earlier this year I was really depressed. Borderline suicidal. The problems started when I realized I was in love with my best friend, who is a guy, and who's straight. Obvious dilemma that I never really recognized till it really became an issue that consumed me. I noticed that I became dependent on him in too many ways, and I knew that was unhealthy for me and most importantly for our friendship. So i decided to go back to church when I decided to start praying that i recognize how to be a stronger individual. I used prayer as a way to guide me. I never thought that god was going to come down with a magic wand and just suddenly make me better. I knew i had it within me to be that person, but i used prayer as a way to help myself realize it. When i pray, i usually end up thinking to myself for 20-30 minutes about everything thats bothering me. And it's in those instances where I discover little bits of myself that I know i need to work on, and how to do it. Some people don't need prayer to realize it, some people don't need the church to help guide them. I think the most important thing is that people find happiness, because there are many ways to do it, and not all lead through god or religion. For some people, belief in what they can accomplish on their own is more than enough to help guide them. I wasn't that person and luckily i realized it before i did something stupid. Now i just use every oppurtunity i get to talk to my friends about the things on my mind, and i continue to use prayer as a stepping stone in helping me fix myself.
And there's my bit about religion.
Andres, I had no idea you were gay, perhaps I should keep taking these huge breaks from the forum, or maybe you haven't mentioned it before. Either way, I'm so glad you were able to find a way to deal with the issues that were hurting you. I'm also very glad that your religion has never been used to hurt you or people you know. Unfortunately I can't say I've been as lucky. My Uncle is a minister in the United Church and he told me he would be shocked if I followed Christianity today because of the way my parents rammed it down my throat all my life and used it against me when I was coming to terms with being gay and I came out to them. Being alienated by my parents when I was 15 because of their faith was one of the post painful times in my life, second only to my mom's passing away when I was 19.
Getting back to the topic of religion, I was engaged to a guy at one point, and my Uncle told me that when I get married he would like to perform the ceremony. That meant so much to me, coming from someone not only of Christian faith, but a minister in the church! It didn't change my beliefs, but it did give me a renewed faith in people themselves.
It also gave me more respect for the United Church. My Uncle and I have had long theological discussions together, and it's amazing how well the United Church has evolved with society and with science and they understand that the Bible isn't to be taken literally. He has told me about several stories in the Bible that have been researched and traced back to their original languages and found to be very badly translated, especially those that were written in Ancient Greek. Like the parting of the Red Sea, it's been discovered that the translation was wrong, that it was a Reed Sea, which was what swamps were reffered to as. The few carriages that were actually following the slaves got stuck in the mud because of the change in how wet and dry the swamps were between night and day. The slaves crossed when it was dry and when the carriages got there, they were too late to cross.
This information isn't widely discussed, especially with congregations, but it was taught to my Uncle while he was going to school to join the ministry. They also acknowledge the great exaggeration of most stories in the Bible, but like most stories today, they were exaggerated to interest people more so that they could better spread their teachings and morals.
It's simply fascinating to have a discussion like this with someone in the ministry, not to mention refreshing. I feel people need to do away with fundamentalism, I persoanlly think it is a dangerous way of thinking and it leaves no room for personal growth. I think that with almost anything, it's important to look past the literal text and find something more.
I didn't plan on writing all that... I hope it was interesting for those of you who braved it.
And Andres, I'm so glad to know another gay dude with awesome taste in music! Hehehe
and everytime it happens, I just think in a Fox Mulder's quote (from X-Files) that I never forget because fits really well with that.... 
Thanks for your post 
